The Invention Of Voting Comment Count

Brian November 3rd, 2014 at 10:31 AM

11/1/2014 – Michigan 34, Indiana 10 – 4-5, 2-3 Big Ten


This happened. The end. [Eric Upchurch]

Sometimes there's a game that does not have anything to say about it. This was that game. Michigan won 34-10, the same score they beat Miami (Not That Miami) by, and it felt a lot like a replay of that throwaway nonconference game.

The opposing offense wasn't going anywhere unless Michigan busted something. Michigan's running game alternated between frustrating lack of holes and lanes so open you could drive a truck through. The defensive backs could have spent the entire afternoon reading The Economist and sipping Kermit tea and nothing would have changed. Indiana had eight attempts. This game was almost literally none of their business.

Michigan thudded out to a 17-0 lead with the help of a couple fumbles that somehow benched Tevin Coleman, and then the game was over. Indiana turned a Gardner interception that ended up inside the Michigan ten into a doinked field goal. Thereupon a giant pig descended from the sky to proclaim the game state.


Brady Hoke knew it, so he ran the ball a couple times to end the first half instead of attempting to score.

I knew it, so I wasn't even a tiny bit peeved by that. Devin Gardner had just demonstrated the only way Indiana was going to get back in the game by not quite giftwrapping a pick six. Just before that Gardner had not quite giftwrapped another pick six. Michigan could have run the ball on every remaining down and won, and it was cold and I have to UFR these things. Run that clock down. Fine by me.

Everyone in the crowd knew it, so an awful lot of them left at halftime.


Non-student areas weren't a whole lot better. [Bryan Fuller]

At this point I'm not blaming anyone. It was cold, Michigan is playing for a berth in the kind of bowl where the gift bags include broken Swatches from 1985, and the game was already decided. I stayed because I write these columns and your soapbox is a little higher if you stayed like a True Fan™. I am enjoying the extra centimeter right now. Mighty fine view it's providing.


The game being what it was, about the only thing of interest over the weekend was a smattering of pissy comments from current and former players.

Desmond Howard decried Michigan's "mob mentality" on Gameday. Taylor Lewan called the Daily's Alejandro Zuniga a "moron" after Zuniga's appearance on BTN. Drew Dileo used air quotes around 'loyal' en route to stating that Dave Brandon and Brady Hoke weren't the problem—causing responders to respectfully ask what, then, the problem might be. Elliot Mealer referred to "the muggles that attend the University of Michigan" suddenly knowing something about the athletic department. Shane Morris provided a shout-out to the few students that made it to the end of the game and helpfully informed the ones who didn't that Michigan won.

It's like they went to bed and universal suffrage happened overnight.



A raucous scene, as a bill has just come up for vote. Enter AN ASSORTMENT OF LORDS.


Good heavens, what are they doing?


They seem to be voicing their opinions.


What-ever for?


Say, you, boy: what is all this ruckus?


The bill of attainder is up for vote; these are
final arguments before a decision is made.
Also, I don't think 'boy' is the preferred nomenclature.


You have the vote? What nonsense!


/frantically dips snuff


Disaster! Woe! Surely we will topple like saplings in a typhoon!


How long has… this been going on?


Approximately 600 years?






We assumed you knew.


Our doom is at hand! Flee! I'll die on the squash courts if I can make it!



/regains consciousness




/faints again

Michigan fans always had the vote; never before had they been pressed so hard as to think about using it. When there's an epic wait list you can find another team and the edifice doesn't notice. Not so much anymore.

The ironic thing about all of this is it's actually the students—sorry, "muggles"—leading the way towards positive change. Brandon implements the worst possible version of general admission; Mike Proppe's CSG negotiates a more sensible arrangement that provides better seats to better fans. Brandon blames the new policy for the drop in attendance instead of prices; Bobby Dishell's CSG negotiates a 40% slashing of ticket prices. El-Kilani's petition laid out the case against Brandon concisely and far more authoritatively than any defenses mounted by the House of Lords, which generally amount to "nuh-uh, you don't know."

It is true that we don't know the face Brandon showed to the student-athletes. I do know that one day he got in front of his department and quizzed them as to who their customers were. The answer: "student-athletes." So he probably acted like a human to them.

That's not enough when he is a six-foot phallus to everyone else. You just don't know that unless you're outside the program, looking at a 150-dollar ticket that you could have had for 20 bucks, watching grim quasi-football that means nothing in the freezing cold. Bon Jovi is playing, for some reason.


Here's the thing. This is a large group of people. Every large group of people is basically a bell curve. Michigan has pushed the prices up to the point where they're going to hit the downside of that bell curve without serious change.

That's a disaster that cannot be allowed to happen. Maybe it won't be for the people in the program right now, or the people who have been through it. It is one for the people who are thinking about 30 years from now, who are thinking about what it's going to be like for their kids.

Michigan, the program, can do little to change the group of people. They will remain the same people. They can only change themselves to fit the people. Step one is firing the coach, because the crushing blow to season ticket sales that results from his retention is unacceptable. Also he is not good at coaching.

Step two is not being dicks to people outside the program. I know y'all learned it from Brandon. Unlearn it. The next AD is going to be just as fantastic to increasingly pampered student-athletes without being loathed by everyone else on the planet. The Al Bundy patrol talking down to a fanbase on the edge of deserting in droves is hilariously out of touch. Michigan revenue vs Michigan performance. QED.

It's time to stop interpreting "The Team The Team The Team" as a moat between 115 players and 113,000 fans. 

[After THE JUMP: hawt babes, and why are you trying to be a fey English twit]



Awards are still discontinued. Look man I can't really pick out a moment that was particularly good or bad because games are now perceived in a fugue state. Henri and all that. Lo siento.


seinfeld reference [Upchurch]

THE DRAKE. I think we need to slow our roll here. Johnson came off the bench and looked a lot like he has in our brief glimpses in the past: quite fast in a straight line, not much wiggle, eh power. Michigan wrecked Appalachian State and Miami (Not That Miami) in similar ways with Smith and Green; I bet that the bloom comes off the rose here pretty quick. If I had to bet this will be "that Drake Johnson game" in the same way there was the Jerome Jackson game and the Walter Cross game.

Great story, though, and he'll get some time in the next few games to see if it's for real or just a flash in the pan.

I did enjoy how everyone was like AAAARGH FRED JACKSON after. I know I've given him a ton of crap for post-Hart RB performance, but man the guy can't win for losing. He brings the guy in on a total flier and everyone's like AAAARGH FRED JACKSON CAN'T ID TALENT and then he goes off against Indiana and everyone's like AAAARGH FRED JACKSON CAN'T ID TALENT.

But that's none of my business.

/Fred Jackson sips tea, Diet Coke, water, and Fresca simultaneously

Justice will find you. Speaking of AAAARGH FRED JACKSON: great game for Hayes in pass protection, which is 1) nice to see and 2) raises the obvious question about whether he got a million times better in one year or Michigan decided he wasn't a better option than… that… last year. Since he was a junior, not a freshman, the latter is as likely as the former.

In conclusion, anything that happens ever again can be blamed on Fred Jackson.

OFFICIAL: Ryan Glasgow is no longer a walk-on. BISB exhorted me to give the guy the Order of St. Kovacs after his sack/strip/recovery in the second half, which hurts me and my family. Glasgow was given the Order two or three games ago.



I am ambivalent about Jake Ryan. He's racking up big TFL numbers but watching him closely I think he's struggling to read and react, which is a big factor in the gaping holes Michigan leaves in the middle of their coverage. I did not get to post the MSU D UFR because of some things that came up, but it is mostly done and my impression from that game was that Ryan did not do so hot.

He did have an excellent game here. This was tuned to his specialty since the "is it a pass" decision process went "lol no let's go Viking some dudes".

Jabrill Peppers is hurt and he is hurt and he is hurt please for the love of God stop asking about this. Anyone watching him limp out to the banner pre-game, make an unwise decision to leap at the thing and then painfully hop a couple steps knows his knee is hurt and there's no way he's returning before the end of the season.

ALL OF THE GAPS. Weird gambit from Michigan in this game: a lot of Stanford-like formations on which Michigan had one guy in the backfield and then nine across the front, usually after motioning a wide receiver in. This was not particularly successful. It still feels like anything Michigan does that adds another blocker to the mix is just providing another opportunity to screw up a block.


explodes in any direction [Upchurch]

Gardner: is Gardner. A highly accurate day on which he looked very good except for the two horrible throws that were nine yards and one catch away from being 14 Indiana points. This is why "it is what it is" was invented.

Man, you gotta feel bad for Indiana. A few months ago they had Sudfeld, Tre Roberson, and Cam Coffman. Now they are down to a 170-pound true freshman who looks more like Ace than any football player should. He did not get broken in half. This is a win for the Hoosiers. Meanwhile, Roberson is tearing it up at Illinois State. Michigan would be playing either Speight or Bellomy (depending on who you think is #4 long-term) if the same had happened to them.

Magnuson: TE. Okay, whatever, I guess. Q: if a guard gets hurt can Magnuson put on an OL number mid-game? I'd imagine so.


A gap, a palpable gap [Fuller]

Darboh: when separated rather good. Like Johnson it's hard to tell whether Darboh's excellent game was harbinger of things to come or a blip made possible by rubbing up against Indiana's pillowy soft defense. Here, too, I kind of think it's a blip. Darboh has struggled to get anything approximating separation all year, and when he faces better DBs it's easy to see them getting in his grill to make things very difficult.

Norfleet just wants to dance man. Norfleet dropped a bubble screen that would have picked up an easy first down because that's just how Michigan rolls, but on the next play he gunned down the field and then did a great, hilarious job of stalking the returner back and forth until the cavalry game about a quarter later.

If were are talking punts I guess I should mention the 30-yard return on which Indiana's returner didn't have a guy within ten yards on the catch, because I am a broken record.

Man dem babes is hawt you guys. Dadboner, the playcall.


actually the inverse of Dadboner the playcall but you get what I mean. [Fuller]

Indiana also had a sign that was a really fierce panda that was so Indiana football:

hi man just eatin' some bamboo because if I ever stop eating bamboo ima die I am so cute and cuddly RAWRRR HATE U MIZZOU

Unfortunately no one got a shot of Fierce Panda.

The worst thing about "muggles." A reader who was a varsity athlete in the 90s posted in the relevant thread that the previous version of this term was "civilian," which I can accept. Being an athlete is a lot like being in boot camp for four years.

"Muggle" means that Michigan athletes are now positing themselves as f-ing mutants who flit around on brooms playing quidditch and turning apples into cartoon hearts with the power of their mind. Or whatever. I haven't read Harry Potter because I'd spend every page disappointed that Harry doesn't get dismembered by unspeakable things from beyond time.



I'm just sayin' that if the offensive line wasn't aspiring to be a dork wearing John Lennon glasses maybe they'd be better at blocking. #hot #take #boom


Inside The Box Score:

Love the Drake
* I thought the story of the running game this year was going to be the battle between Derrick Green and De'Veon Smith. With Green out for the year, and Smith dinged up in the first half, Michigan turned to Drake Johnson. Johnson carried 16 times for 122 yards and two touchdowns. Even subtracting his long run of 32 yards leaves him with 90 yards on 15 carries for an even 6.0 yards per carry. That was a solid performance.
* Smith and Hayes combined for 42 yards on 13 carries against the same Indiana defense, so I'm inclined to be optimistic that we may have stumbled on something positive in the running game. Time will tell.

Best And Worst:

Worst:  The Offense is Still Broken

Yes, Michigan just put up 404 yards on Indiana, and recorded both their first 200-yard passing game of the year (!) and first 100-yard rusher game in the B1G since the last time UM played IU (!!), but man is it hard to get excited.  For one thing, Indiana has a turrible defense that gives up huge plays to everyone, yet Michigan's longest play was a 34-yard strike to Darboh that featured Gardner having to bypass the rush, step into a lane, stutter-step about a million times, and still have to throw a tight throw to Amara as he finally shook off the IU defensive back.  It was a good play and helped get Michigan in position for an opening score, but Jeremy Gallon had 369 yards receiving on his own last year against effectively the same IU defense, including multiple 50+ yard receptions.  It remains an offense bereft of "playmakers", which I know is absolutely the most cliche thing to say but is kinda true.


Worth noting that Mitch McGary and Josh Bartlestein expressed their disappointment with Brandon's exit without taking shots.

Sap's Decals:

RYAN GLASGOW – It was obvious that the Michigan defense came to play this game and made sure there was going to be no repeat of last year’s basketball-like score against IU. That all starts up front, and while there were several guys who played lights out by keeping the Hoosiers under 200 yards of total offense, I singled out Glasgow because of his strip and fumble recovery – all in the same play. These guys in the trenches don’t often get the glory, but you had to like what Glasgow did.

Hoover Street Rag:

In the grand scheme of things, this game won't mean much, and likely won't be remembered in the annals of Michigan football lore.  But, if I do remember this game, it will likely be "the Drake Johnson game".  That makes me happy for a kid who crossed Main Street from Pioneer to the Big House, for a kid whose mom has been Michigan's cheerleading coach for over three decades, to get not one but two touchdowns, and looking good doing it, I'm happy for him.  Some day in the future, he'll be able to tell people that in the depths of Michigan's despair, he had his number called and he stepped up and provided a spark.  Most players will tell you that they just want to do what they can to help the team, and Drake Johnson, wearing the #20, did just that yesterday.  Good for him.


Re: Big Dave – Ultimately what did Brandon in weren’t the changes he made to the athletic program.  Even the biggest haters would admit there were some things he did that worked.  For me, I’ll fondly remember his role in smoothing out the practice-gate mess (even before he was AD), bringing in the night games and adding the Legends Program.   What sunk Brandon was that he treated people like crap.

As I’ve seen (and heard behind the scenes), being an outsider, President Schlissel took a look under the covers during these past few weeks he found a very conspicuous lack of people standing up to defend Big Dave.  Take Hoke.  You are probably tired of hearing how he is a such good dude.  While very few (if any) people think Brady will be coaching next year, when he’s evaluated I’m certain he’ll have many folks to throw support his way in some form or another, because he’s down to earth, lacks a noticeable ego and relates to people.  You can be a strong leader and make major changes without being a complete cock.

Baumgardner. Quinn on Johnson:

That was just a complete rush of emotion," Johnson said afterward, beaming like that scoreboard he used to run at. "I jumped up there and was like, wait, wait, I need to get down. I don't want to do anything dumb. I think the first touchdown was ... I can't think of any word but magical."

Mom was there to see it, as she has been for most of the last three decades. A 1976 U-M graduate, Pam St. John was among the first women to serve as a cheerleader at U-M in the mid-70s. Since then, she hasn't gone far, working in the athletic department as the head coach of the Michigan cheer team.

Drake Johnson, her youngest son, grew up on the U-M sidelines. As an 8-year-old, he'd taunt Wolverine players, telling them he'd not only be a Michigan player, but that he'd be better than them.

A lot of credit being offered to Michigan for "keeping their focus," which… okay. Seems like anything more organized than a sack of cats would have done the same thing to the Hoosiers.

The Indiana side of things.



November 3rd, 2014 at 10:36 AM ^

Britt McHenry, Sam Ponder and Erin Andrews... I can't tell who the top right is though.


EDIT: This post sounds a little creepy after reading it again.


November 3rd, 2014 at 12:03 PM ^'s Cheryl Scott who up until recently did the weekend weather right here in Chicago.  Knowing this of course makes me sound like a filthy old man ("And I'm super creepy Brimley").  I'm seriously interested in weather but Mrs. Brimley would punch me in the head if I chose Cheryl's forecast over someone else's, so Skilling it is.

los barcos

November 3rd, 2014 at 10:43 AM ^

with your assetment re the students.  The rest of the stadium was never full, but student section was completely empty the entire game.  Empty like 80 rows empty, as opposed to the 10 seats in front of me empty.  Thats a mischaracterization to say "an awful lot" of everyone left at halftime.  All the students left, most of the crowd stayed until the start of the 4th.

And this after the students marched to fire Brandon, get him fired, and then don't bother to show up to a 3:30 game?  Fine.  The team sucks.  But you're a student.  You literally have nothing to do on Saturday but drink.

late night BTB

November 3rd, 2014 at 10:56 AM ^

how do you know they have nothing to do but drink all Saturday?

You love M football because of the memories you have during your time there, when M was better. A lot of students now don't have those positive memories.  Maybe they want to keep tailgating with music, booze ,and chicks?  Or sit in their warm house, with a stocked fridge, their friends, a closer bathroom, and watch several games.  

 Stop acting like it's a student's duty to support student atheletes.


November 3rd, 2014 at 2:37 PM ^

Maybe you are jumping to a conclusion about causation.   You suggest that it is the students' fault, and that Good ol' Dave is not to blame.  However, maybe, just maybe, the attitude of the current students is a measure of the damage Brandon caused.  

At the very least, the challenges brought on by a new generation inclinded to watch TV (and other) screens instead of attending games in person were clearly not met by Dave's strategy of flyovers and piped in rock music.


November 3rd, 2014 at 11:04 AM ^

Agree With You And Brian Needs to Be Consistent with his Views
For weeks, the student section issues were Brandon's fault and an indicator of a rotten program that needed firings of all the people. Then IU homecoming is the worst yet and he says no one is to blame? Please! After Brandon's resignation the students could have supported the team and they stayed away, arrived late and left early. Many cheap seats were available on StubHub. Guess it is easier to sign an online petition than actually attend a game and support the team. With next years lower prices and better schedule, it will be very telling if students don't buy over 20,000 season tickets and actually show up. But, that would not fit Brian's narrative. Since ticket prices have been reduced and concussion protocols have been improve, I suggest Brian do a survey to identify the other actions needed to accomplish the cultural change on the AD. It will help guide the interim and future AD.

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Bando Calrissian

November 3rd, 2014 at 11:07 AM ^

It was also unseasonably cold as absolute fuck out there on Saturday, and if you know anything about the student section pretty much since the beginning of time, they never dress for the weather. So of course they bailed early. You've got bros in hooded sweatshirts, girls in the little tights and shit, nobody thought to bring a jacket, and by the time the booze wears off in the third quarter you're pretty much done. This isn't new.

Shit, three quarters of my friends who went to Braylonfest in '04 left after halftime because they couldn't feel their feet in their halloween costumes. And that wasn't even as cold as this weekend.


November 3rd, 2014 at 2:52 PM ^

especially when it's dry making it easier to catch things like common cold. 

When it's cold and windy or rainy, you become more susceptible to hypothermia or pneumonia, though still not that common.

Also, even being outside, that many people clustered in one area makes disease spreading easier. 


So yes, educated people know being cold doesn't make you sick, but they also know it's a lot easier and more common to get sick when it is cold outside. 

matty blue

November 3rd, 2014 at 12:34 PM ^

we scalped a couple of tickets up in the nosebleeds in the southwest corner, and i honestly don't remember ever being as miserably cold in that stadium. just brutal.

we always go to homecoming to watch my stepson march in the alumni band and for the postgame band show, and we were done by the middle of the third quarter.  i didn't earn any badges this time, that's for sure.


November 3rd, 2014 at 10:11 PM ^

double agreed. I got there at the very end of the first half (had to attend to my duties at a board meeting, which I compromised and left early) and I don't ever remember being as cold at a game. I had on four layers too. Miserable.


November 3rd, 2014 at 1:48 PM ^

I was a student in the early to mid 90s.   The team was great in 91/92 then average the next few years.    In those first two seasons the weather was incredibly cold.  I also recall it being rainy and cold for OSU in 91.   At no time do I ever recally anybody leaving early.   I think students leaving early now is a combination of

1) The team has sucked for six out of the last seven years.

2) Every game is on TV.  When I was a senior I realized most games were on tv so why should I waste the entire Saturday at the stadium when I could get in at least three hours of extra homework before and after the game?  I gave up my tickets in 94.

3) ??? - As a 41 year old man I don't know what the kids are doing for fun but I'm sure it is different than what I did 20 years ago with my black and white TV, trips to NUBS or North Campus to use a computer, and my corded telephone.    There weren't as many entertainment options what with luxury student housing, smartphones, sexting, rainbow parties and the knockout game being prevelant.   We had beer (the non-craft was called Natural Light, if you were a big spender it was Bud Light) and we played music on a stereo with large speakers.




November 3rd, 2014 at 4:11 PM ^

At no time do I ever recally anybody leaving early.


You must have skipped the Purdue game in 1995 then.


My whole crew bailed at half - and I don't remember them ever leaving another game early.

I stayed until the end becuase my girlfriend was in the MMB. Little did I know I could have left at halftime also - because my girlfriend was pulled out of the stadium just after halftime to be treated for hypothermia.




November 3rd, 2014 at 11:23 AM ^

You fire the head of the organization, but literally the entire structure he built (including all the complaints associated with that structure) remains 100% intact. Why would you expect anything to change overnight?

A captain takes his ship in the wrong direction. So you fire the captain because he screwed up... but you don't then immediately look around and say "DAMMIT WHY AREN'T WE HOME? WE FIXED THE PROBLEM."


November 3rd, 2014 at 11:11 AM ^

This seems to be the model of the "new" Michigan "fan": Bitch loudly and vigorously when we don't win, and leave when we do. Seriously folks, this tacit and quiet, "Yes, this is as expected." accompanied by an inaudible polite double-clap doesn't get it done.

I want the team to be great, too. But shit-oh-dear, we gotta make sure to give some positive freaking reinforcement when they play well. Leaving at halftime is bullshit.


November 3rd, 2014 at 1:18 PM ^

I've been attending Michigan games on and off for about 20 years now and I'm struggling to  remember a single instance of a packed house in the 4th quarter during a blowout of a team like Indiana, Purdue, Northwestern, etc when the temperature has dipped below 40.

And those are years that we're playing for something. This team is playing for a bid in the Duck Dynasty bowl or some shit if they win 2 of their next 3. There's not a lot to cheer about at the end of a blowout in fridgid weather against a doormat, and that's not even considering this Michigan team's performance or record.

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with your point of positive reinforcement, a lot of these kids could use some, but don't act like this hasn't been the case for the last several decades because you're a little pissy right now. I'm not saying it's right but I can certainly understand those who didn't stay.


November 3rd, 2014 at 11:47 AM ^

You literally have nothing to do on Saturday but drink.

Sooo much homework. I always went to games, but I always sort of enjoyed when the season ended because that meant Sunday wasn't 12 Hours in the Dude Day anymore because I could do some work Saturday afternoon. I know Brandon is finally gone, but when you've got stuff to do and the best the game can really offer you is "Let's not lose to an awful team now on their 4th string QB" then I don't blame em much for not showing. It stinks, but I never understood the moral outrage around people not going to football games.


November 3rd, 2014 at 1:27 PM ^

Get used to it if the Tao of Brandon is continued. I went to the Iowa game for some reason last year and their student section never reached half full. That is our future if the non-student athletes including fans are not treated with more respect.

It's enough and the sutdent athletes and the student athlete alums need to grow up. That is true that at least some of the student athlete alums (unsurpringly from basketball) know how to behave and express an opinion.

We bend over backwards to not personally insult the "kids" and this is how they repay us? There has to be change although not the kind that was talked about in the Sam and Ira thread that was just scary although yeah maybe the athletes would like it better if we were Northwestern or worse Chicago. In that world they'd be just another muggle as well lol.


November 3rd, 2014 at 10:51 AM ^

OF COURSE Beilein's guys can tweet about Brandon classily. 

To the actual football- it was more fun to watch the game this weekend.  There's just no way the new AD keeps Hoke around, so the tension of "is the team going to play just ok enough to merit another year of this" is gone.  Now we can pull for 6 or 7 wins in peace, while keeping flightaware open on our laptops.