Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.
I come to bury Brutus, not to praise him. The evil that programs do lives after them; the good is oft wiped from the record books. So let it be with this latest iteration of the ignoble Brutus. We hath told you he was ambitious: if it were so, it was a grievous fault, and grievously hath Brutus answer'd it. Here, under the corporate sponsorship of Value City and the rest—for Thad Matta is an honourable man; so are they all, all honourable men—come I to speak to Ohio State's funeral. We come here to this edifice constructed recently of cash, to see it hewn and sundered by a man born among them, but not borne of them. Here in Christopher's putrescent hamlet, amidst lank and living columns who all drive suspiciously luxurious cars that the NCAA is totally okay with, shall we find what strength our temper'd mettle bears.
If it be a sin to covet t-shirts, I am the most offending soul:
- Wednesdays I put up a winnable prize that consists of a desirable good.
- You guess the final scores of this weekend's designated game (football or hoops, depending on the season), and put it in the comments. First person to post a particular score has it.
- If you got it right, we contact you. If not, go to (5)
- The desirable good arrives at the address you give us.
- Non-winners can acquire the same desirable good by trading currency for it.
About Last Time:
Michigan kicked off its Big Ten season by continuing the string of 90+ points, embarrassing Northwestern in its own building, 94-66. Closest to the pin was 96-67 by B-Nut-GoBlue, who says he's going to win a few more of these.
This Week's Game:
Michigan @ Ohio State. I'm skipping tonight's Nebraska game to focus on the thing we're all focusing on: this weekend's mettle-proving matchup in Columbus.
And the Prize:
Other schools have begun to copy our sentiment for their interstate hates, but the cradle of awful presidents shall give up the mantle of worst the day they stop parading Jim Tressel around on their shoulders. By the way it's the preshrunk cotton version (we sell another one that's 50/50 polyester).
Fine print: One entry per user. First user to choose a set of scores wins, determined by the timestamp of your entry (for my ease I prefer if you don't post it as a reply to another person's score--if you do it won't help or hurt you). Deadline for entries is 24 hours before the start of the game. MGoEmployees and Moderators exempt from winning. We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Ohio. Ohio is the worst state ever. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus.. This is not the algorithm. This is close.