Grosse Pointe Beilein Comment Count

Brian March 19th, 2009 at 11:10 AM

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Michigan Basketball: So how's the tourney, man?

NCAA Tourney: You don't know? Of course, you don't know anything. There's a 65th team.

MBB: A 65th team?

Tourney: Yeah, there was this new conference that got an autobid and no one wanted to take an at-large away… they play in Dayton. It's ugly. It's usually some .500 team that won its conference tourney against the third-place SWAC team.

MBB: How's Billy Packer? He ever get over that midmajor thing?

Tourney: Packer?!

MBB: That ever work out?

Tourney: Come on, man, Packer's heart is a lump of carbon. They fired that guy. Last I heard he was working at Pizza Hut.

MBB: So let's not go there.

Tourney: No.

MBB: So… you look good.

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Tourney: Thank you, you may have, uh—

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TEN YEARS, MAN! TEN! Where have you been for ten years?

MBB: I freaked out… hired Brian Ellerbe. Recruited Avery Queen and Kevin Gaines and Maurice Searight. Got put on probation for kids taking money from a Detroit gambling kingpin. Fired Ellerbe and hired a guy who took a Sweet 16 team that returned virtually everyone and added an NBA lottery pick to the NIT: Tommy Amaker. Recruited Anthony Wright and Kendrick Price and Reed Baker. Turned the ball over on every other offensive possession for six years. The one year I was going to be back everyone got injured and the starting point guard got suspended for some sort of domestic violence thing. Walk-ons started at point guard. Then I hired John Beilein. We have basically one guy taller than 6'5", we still have walk-ons at point guard, and we're here.

Tourney: Oh, sure. And Indiana hired Kelvin Sampson, too, and that's why they're mysteriously absent.

MBB: I think they did, actually.

Tourney: That's good… wow, yeah…

TEN YEARS, MAN— TEN— TEN YEARS! TEN! TEN YEAAAARS!

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MBB: I freaked out, hired Brian Ellerbe, Recruited Avery Queen and Kevin Gaines and Maurice Seawright, got put on probation for kids taking money from a Detroit gambling kingpin, fired Ellerbe and hired a guy who took a Sweet 16 team that returned virtually everyone and added an NBA lottery pick to the NIT: Tommy Amaker. Recruited Anthony Wright and Kendrick Price and Reed Baker, turned the ball over on every other offensive possession for six years, the one year I was going to be back everyone got injured and the starting point guard got suspended for some sort of domestic violence thing, walk-ons started at point guard, then I hired John Beilein, we have basically one guy taller than 6'5", we still have walk-ons at point guard, and we're here.

THAT'S WHAT I DID.

Tourney: Can I join up?

MBB: YES.

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Tourney: Come on, man… how's your mom?

Comments

gnrgoblue

March 19th, 2009 at 11:40 AM ^

I think Michigan State is Dan Aykroyd here. "Bang, bang, bang, bang, hahahaha, popcorn!" After Martin Blank/MBB find their ways back out of the desert, they slay their rival with a television to the head. Watch out for falling TVs, Izzo.

Oh, and this post is excellent. Time to read it again.

victorsvaliant01

March 19th, 2009 at 12:06 PM ^

As someone who finds a way at least once a day to relate things in my life to a movie, I can truly appreciate this. No matter what happens against Clemson today, we've already shown America that Michigan Basketball is back. Our day of atonement is here. LET'S GO BLUE BABY!!

UNCWolverine

March 19th, 2009 at 12:08 PM ^

That is one of the best scenes and you got it spot on. Especially how MBB repeated the diatribe starting with Ellerbee. You need to know that scene to completely appreciate your post.

Well done sir.

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

March 19th, 2009 at 2:52 PM ^

I can't watch this movie. I can NEVER watch this movie. I get pissed off and angry and feel like something irretrievably wonderful, a unique once-in-a-lifetime chance, is GONE, gone forever and never, not once, coming back. It was supposed to be my high school dammit. Supposed to be the Blue Devils (not Blue Demons as portrayed in the movie) and the tower and everything, and supposed to be filmed all on location and all that jazz, and one idiotic man had a giant stick lodged so far up his ass you could see it when he opened his mouth, and he was the school superintendent and denied them permission to use the school because of the "dark themes." And the weed. That was bad too.

I've seen it once and can never bring myself to see it again, which sucks because it's a good movie and Christ Jesus on a bucket I could have actually gone my freshman year and watched John freaking Cusack film it. In a list of things I'd change about my life this is at least top five.

DGlenn26

March 19th, 2009 at 10:25 PM ^

Easssy MaizeandBlueWahoo, the movie is still good. I still like the film although it would be significantly better with the actual school in it. Then again, I'm at South now, I wasn't there when the move was filmed so I guess you have a much better to be more bitter than me.

Tozmo

March 20th, 2009 at 12:50 AM ^

I was there when the filming was going on. The Tower (which was good when I was there and then sucked after I left) ran articles on it non stop.

I remember when people would ask me where the ultimart is (was). Meh. At least Gran Torino made some things better (Vince D'Artona is in it!)