A Further Exploration Into A Terrible Idea
So a business school student and his LSA buddy had a spectacularly bad idea. No, we don't need a new fight song to pair with The Victors, the best fight song in the long and storied history of fight songs. That suggestion alone is enough to make an idea very bad indeed, but what sets this bad idea apart is the details. Lord almighty, is this just the worst of ideas. Why?
WE ALREADY DID THIS. Remember "In The Big House"? Dave Brandon already tried this. When Dave Brandon tries something, it means you should never, ever try to do that thing again.
WHY IS THIS EVEN A GOAL?
“This project is meant to be, number one, extremely unique,” Weiss said. “The goal of this song is to get a lot of big names that are associated with the University.”
I'll try to ignore that the kid called his unoriginal and terrible idea "extremely unique" and address the idea that the University of Michigan needs "big names" associated with it.
I think we're good, thanks.
FINE, LET'S HEAR YOUR BIG NAMES.
While the song’s lyrics and tune are still undetermined, Weiss said it is the organization’s aim to involve big names in the music business and University alumni to contribute to the song. For example, he said Weinberg wants to get Eminem involved.
Weiss also said that David Banner, a rapper and music producer, has already agreed to produce the final product.
I'd laugh if not for the overwhelming feeling this guy is serious, which makes me quite sad. Let's start with Eminem.
- Not an alum! You probably knew that.
- In fact, his daughter goes to Michigan State.
- Peaked in 1999, hasn't made good music since 2002. His new music is basically the old music with more yelling, less novelty, worse production, and an unfortunate amount of auto-tune.
- Is gleefully misogynistic and homophobic in his music, which probably isn't the ideal way to represent the University.
- Charges in the neighborhood of $30-40K per verse, so not only is he a bad idea, he's an expensive bad idea.
In the other corner, we've got David Banner, who's from Jackson, Mississippi, and is inextricably associated with Southern rap. His solo career peaked in 2005 with the club single "Play" and he hasn't released a major label album since 2008. It's a little shocking that a current college student would suggest David Banner, because I feel old playing "Cadillac on 22's" in my car. I can't imagine most students associate the name David Banner with anything outside of the Incredible Hulk.
HERE'S WHAT AN EMINEM/DAVID BANNER COLLABORATION WOULD PROBABLY SOUND LIKE IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2015.
| YouTube Doubler |
HARD PASS.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:08 PM ^
What if the new song takes influences from other fight songs, irish folk songs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kVVn80pFOc), and other traditional Michigan songs? What if the new song references people like Schembechler (The Team), Yost (cultivation of young men through competition and teamwork), and Lloyd Carr's emphasis on being a Michigan family.
The fact of the matter is, Michigan doesn't have any contemporary songs, which means Michigan doesn't have any songs that reference contemporary themes that campture the zeitgeist of this great university.
Just because Brian doesn't have the vision to see how this could be done well, doesn't mean it can't be done.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:07 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:00 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:50 PM ^
That is a better idea, in the same sense that cutting off just one of my nuts would be a better idea than cutting off both of them.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:10 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 1:10 PM ^
At least she attended UM and has a daughter going there now. She still fits the apparent requirement to not have been relevent in years.
Seriously, this may be a great idea. Before the fight song gets renamed to the J. Ira and Nicki Harris Family Fight Song (or some such thing) let someone create a totally useless and worthless song that can be named and never heard from again thereby leaving The Victors pristine and unaffected.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:19 PM ^
Team Anyone But Madonna
February 11th, 2015 at 1:17 PM ^
Can we get the I'M IN LOVE WITH THE COCO guy??
February 11th, 2015 at 1:18 PM ^
TIL who Gilda Radner is.
Also, Eminem's verse on Forever makes up for all the mediocre stuff he has released lately.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:19 PM ^
and he should give this song to Moby.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:22 PM ^
that the new fight song presentation coincided with an active shooter presentation. I say good contignecy planning on the part of the CSG just in case they decide to vote for this.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:32 PM ^
Powerful stuff, Brian. But, in putting up the pic of "big names," how do you not include Tom Brady (a pic of him holding his most recent SB MVP trophy or one with super model wife, take your pic).
February 11th, 2015 at 1:47 PM ^
and maybe this has already been said but, since when does someone have to be an alum to contribute to the university? Remember Bo plus most of your past and present successful coaches have come from elsewhere, not to mention the current President of the University. Is your argument that if you are a walmat wolverine you couldnt possibly contribute something worthwhile to the University of Michigan? Where his daughter (Eminem's) goes is irrelvent, maybe she couldnt get in but wanted to. As to being past his prime, he just won a Grammy 3 days ago for best rap album and is the top selling rap artist of all time-but you knew that I guess. As for his lyrics not being politically correct...are you kidding me? Rap by definition is going to chase the controversial. Hate it, love it whatever, its fun and it works. So what is the top selling rapper of all time worth in your opinion? $30 bucks an hour?
Whats more I would have thought that this kind of attitude would have come from a 60 year old alum not someone 15 years or less out of college! Whats wrong with a new relevant and fun take on an iconic fight song? In my opinion nothing, let them have at it and then if its atrocious you can trash it.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:50 PM ^
"he just won a Grammy 3 days ago for best rap album"
So what? Steely Dan won album of the year in 2000. Herbie Hancock in 2007. Hell, Beck won this year, didn't deserve it, and I liked that album.
February 11th, 2015 at 1:39 PM ^
my friends and I forming the "Slumber Party" to run for student government in 1994. At least we didn't propose adding a fight song. Maybe that's why none of us came in last in voting?
February 11th, 2015 at 1:39 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 1:43 PM ^
The Hulk is Bruce Banner. David Banner was the TV Hulk from the '70s, because TV executives thought the name Bruce was too gay. (Seriously.) And I doubt many current students know who Bill Bixby or Lou Ferigno are.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:00 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:12 PM ^
That was a line in Steel Magnolias... "All gay men are named Bruce, Mark, or Steve and they all have track lighting."
February 11th, 2015 at 2:28 PM ^
I'll have to take your word on that. ;-)
February 11th, 2015 at 1:50 PM ^
Advanced Resumé Stuffing 600 - Seminar and Independent Project
This course is intended for Ross Business School students planning on entering the fields of marketing, public relations, or venture capital and tech startups who desire synergistic entries on their CV demonstrating aptitudes across multiple disciplines. The main course goals are:
• Concoct spurious "need" aimed at target demographic
• Develop marketing strategy and appropriate message-framing tactics to explain and rationalize "need"
• Create official-sounding ROI metrics to justify crowdsourcing goals for "need"
• Implement full array of social media vehicles, including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram
• Attract celebrities from world of sports and entertainment for promotion and endorsement
• Tweet selfies taken with celebrities at Chop House, Ashley's, and HopCat
• Graduate, leave for east or west coast grad schools or uncle's investment firm
Students in ARS 600 are expected to deploy marketing and PR keywords fluidly and easily in normal conversation; extra credit hours are awarded if students are able to describe project coherently when shitfaced at fraternity party.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:13 PM ^
Brilliant. Post of the day!
February 11th, 2015 at 1:57 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:13 PM ^
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February 11th, 2015 at 2:29 PM ^
It was changed to David because Bruce sounded too gay. That's seriously the reason.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:41 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 1:58 PM ^
I know I'm a child, but when you said long and storied, my mind immediately went here...
February 11th, 2015 at 1:59 PM ^
I am apparently the only idiot alive that got a kick out of "in the big house".
February 11th, 2015 at 2:02 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:11 PM ^
Nope. I did too!
It's on my pre-game playlist before I hit the ice as well... with Rev Theory Hell Yeah, Metallica Fuel, Jet Black Stare Ready to Roll, Rise Against Re-education among others.
The video is great for hype too -- never quite understood the backlash against it.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:40 PM ^
and I generally hate the rock and/or roll musics thingie.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:07 PM ^
How many people would have never heard anything about this? If it wasn't for this blog, posting two seperate posts, on the main page. Thanks for the tip, now as for the idea. THEY NEED TO WASH THEIR DIRTY MOUTHS OUT WITH CLOROX BLEACH, we don't need a $3,000 (start up cost) step child to "The Victors".
February 11th, 2015 at 2:14 PM ^
This proposal sounds like this wonderful example of what happens when you do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6mE9Au3CwM
Sorry, I'm at work and couldn't remember the embed details... but I was surprised Brian didn't include this in the writeup because it's the first thing I thought of.
February 11th, 2015 at 5:39 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 2:13 PM ^
no no no
February 11th, 2015 at 2:16 PM ^
but they have their fight song and adopted Hang on Sloopy as their rock song. It's played so much, it's almost the more recognized song between the two. I hate OSU, but as a music lover I do like to hear them play Hang on Sloopy. To me, it's part of the rivalry.
I know we have the Victors and I'll probably have it played at my funeral, but I wouldn't mind the band taking an already established song, preferrably by a Michigan based artist or group, to complement what we already have. You can't tell me Motown has not put something out that we couldn't use.
February 11th, 2015 at 3:01 PM ^
Hang On Sloopy got adopted kind of organically by the Ohio fanbase. The band played it and they liked it enough that the band did it again and again. It'd be fun if that happened here (who says it didn't happen with Temptation?) but it's not gonna happen just by going "This Is Officially Our New Tradition."
February 11th, 2015 at 3:23 PM ^
You just described Temptation and Hawaiian War Chant.
February 11th, 2015 at 2:26 PM ^
February 11th, 2015 at 3:05 PM ^
I'm just going to hire Disturbed, for a new song called BLUE WAH AH AH AH
February 11th, 2015 at 8:26 PM ^
Hell, there's a whole album titled "Blue". F*cking with that might even be worse than f*cking with The Victors...and with Varsity, for that matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5782PQO5is
We've already got two fight songs better than most other schools. To say nothing of Hawaiian War Chant and Temptation.
February 11th, 2015 at 3:40 PM ^
Using expressions such as "very unique" or "extremely unique" inevitably invites derision on the internets, but I'd like to stick up for it. On a technical level, fine, unique is a binary. It is or it isn't. But our lovely-ish English language can and should absorb additional descriptors where the word itself doesn't necessarily convey the full meaning intended in the sentence.
What if something is unique, but just barely, because of a minor difference between it and the comparable thingies? That's unique, but in name only. On the other hand, if it's entirely revolutionary, "unique" doesn't quite get that across unless you gunk it up along the lines of "unique and highly differentiated" or the like. You want to say that not only is it unique, there's nothing close in terms of degree of novelty of this thing. Economy of language suggests that modifying unique with a degree term might be a smart thing to do.
It's a little like saying "Denard Robinson was by far the best thing that happened during the RR/Hoke era" instead of just saying "Denard was (merely) the best thing that happened..." There is only one "best" so it's every bit as binary as "unique," but there are degrees of bestness (e.g., Secretariat winning the Belmont vs. a photo finish winner), and there are degrees of uniqueness, even if not really, but yeah kinda really.
That said, the idea in question here both sucks donkey balls and is not very unique, if at all. But unless you can point to someone who had the exact same shitty idea, it's technicallly unique. Which most non-identical twin people and non-mass produced manufactured goods are as well. But not very. I'm just sayin'.
February 11th, 2015 at 6:29 PM ^
The original The Victors (referred to by John Phillips Sousa as the finest college march ever written) was written by two then-students. The Men's Glee Club annually puts out requests for current and former members (and anyone, really) to submit new songs to go on the most recent Songs of Michigan album. The School of Music is world-renown. It consistantly attracts and produces talent at an unbelievable and amazing level. The concept of adding to the rich musical heritage that is intertwined with Michigan sports and other school traditions is a not a new one. Rather, it should be applauded and supported whenever possible.
This isn't that. This is two musically-talentless hacks who are trying to capitalize on "the Brand," while adding nothing to the University. These guys are doing exactly what Brandon did to get himself fired.
February 11th, 2015 at 6:47 PM ^
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February 11th, 2015 at 7:32 PM ^
February 12th, 2015 at 10:43 AM ^
I can only imagine what would have happened if the internet was around in the 1890s and people were making comments on Michigan music student Louis Elbel wrote "The Victors" in 1898 after Michigan beat Chicago 12-11. They'd probably be moaning and groaning about how it shouldn't replace the "traditional" song played to date--"Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight". Of course, as it turned out, "The Victors" didn't officially get adopted for almost two decades afterward.
"Varsity" was introduced in 1911 and written--get this--by a couple of Michgan students. Their names were Earl Moore and J. Fred Lawton. They decided to write this song because "they figured Michigan needed a more cotemporary fight song". At that time, Michigan's two primary songs were "Hot time in the Old Town Tonight" and "Yellow and Blue". The latter song, of course, is played today, but "Varsity" replaced it for a time until the "The Victors" was reintroduced in 1917.
FWIW, "Yellow and Blue" was written in 1886 by Michigan professor Charles Mills Gayley with the tune by Michael William Balfe. He did it to win a $20 prize from the student editors of the yearbook. Imagine that--writing a song at the University of Michigan for money. Who'd have thought that?
If anything, what Weiss and Banner are trying to do is as traditional as Elbel, Moore, Lawton and Professor Gayley did over a hundred years ago. They were inspired by the university and the football team to write songs that were "contemporary", and in one case, did for cash.
Pop Evil did the same thing with "In the Big House", but as fans of the football team--not students or staff at U of M. Here's a quote from an article I linked below:
February 12th, 2015 at 12:55 PM ^
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