Five Alternative Uses For Your Worthless Seat Pad

Submitted by Ace on July 31st, 2013 at 4:16 PM

It's still July, barely, which means stories like Michigan banning seat pads from the Big House — while season ticket holders, as if they haven't dropped enough dough, are provided the option to lease an official Wolverine Seat for $35 per season — still move the needle around these parts. Like many of you, I've owned an officially licensed U-M seat cushion, but not the AD-approved permanent rental, and used it at games for years. Those are now worthless, right?

Not so fast, says the M-Den. They're dual-purpose, you see...

A kneeling pad with a handle? This is innovation, not a blatant money-grab. American ingenuity at its finest. In that vein, we crowdsourced some ideas for alternative uses for these totally useful hunks of branded foam.

NON-AERODYNAMIC FRISBEE

Looking for something to toss around the Diag? Look no more! The handle provides an easy grip for throwing, and the soft foam interior ensures that nobody's hurt when your toss inevitably lands nowhere near your intended target.

EMERGENCY FLOATATION DEVICE

Why are these women so happy to be jumping out of a doomed plane? With their officially-licensed floatation devices, they know that as long as they survive the impact with that large, rapidly-approaching body of water, they'll be floating in style while waiting for the Coast Guard.

[HT: BiSB and @MikeSmuz]

OVERSIZED EARMUFFS

Dave Brandon himself was kind enough to model the latest in Michigan-branded winter fashion. Perfect for staying warm during November football games or going incognito when the fanbase finally turns against you in full, penniless force.

VERY STYLISH HAT

Lookin' good. But if you sit on it, they will shoot you.

MY VERY OWN MGOPANIC ROOM

Provides extra padding for the next time you're waiting out a commit watch/unwanted Buckeye visitor.

[HT: @Looukey]

Comments

MFan73

August 1st, 2013 at 3:37 AM ^

I too am 40 and attend all home games and several road games each season.  I love to have the seat cushion not only because it fills my given bench space, but it also aids in comfort when we do hit the sitting stages of the games.  I already shell out enough for tickets and the right to buy tickets (aka "donation"); why should I be expected to pay $70 each season for seat cushions when I can pay $34 plus tax and uses them for many seasons to come?  That money adds up after a decade.  It just seems like easy way for Brandon to make additional money.  How harmful is a non-zippered seat cushion coming into the stadium from the outside?  You can do more with an electronic device like a cell phone or radio if you desire to cause harm to a great number of people, yet they are still allowed.  Beside, I hate those seat cushions anyway; thay are too thick and make climbing up the benches harder when the aisles are crowded at the conclusion of a close game.

terryfoster

August 1st, 2013 at 9:25 AM ^

What seems incredibly unclear at this point is what the money-grab is for the single game ticket holders and visitors?  Have they invented some kind of disposable seat cushion that they'll sell inside the stadium?  Will they sell these "permanent" seat cushions on an individual game basis?

Sure, they're getting some extra money from season ticket holders, but they're missing out on the single gamers.

MFan73

August 1st, 2013 at 12:32 PM ^

but I checked the website yesterday and under Gameday Prohibited Items it is listed as ALL Seat Cushions and Seatbacks and the top of the page says it is updated for the 2013 season.  I would be more inclined to go with the website, since the guides were printed who knows how long ago.  I'm guessing that this will not be announced until after today when the price for the permanent seat cushions goes from $35 to $42 a seat.  I also agree with the fact that what do non-season ticket holders do for a seat cushion.  Doesn't seem fair.

MFanDan

August 1st, 2013 at 12:24 PM ^

What an unnecessary change for Wolverine fans.  As if the Rich Rod years weren't enough, those of us with lower back pain will no longer be able to use our approved-style cushions with seat backs.  With TV and Big 10 extending the games to sell more beer and car ads, my trusty cushion made the long games way more enjoyable.   Didn't expect such unbridled greed from Michigan Man Brandon.

bluebyyou

August 1st, 2013 at 1:41 PM ^

After just paying through the nose yesterday for some extra ND and Ohio tickets at absurd prices, now this is slapped in our faces. Just another money grab.  i come to all home games, which means travel, hotel, etc. and it isn't inexpensive.  Michigan and a couple of dozen other programs still are in the black, but at some point, people will say enough is enough, which may be why NCAA football attendance is dropping.  

What's next, vending machines to use the bathrooms?