Sorry no Dear Diary this week -- was on a family trip through yesterday. Related: shout-out to the Michigan Ski Team -- I was that one guy at Crystal with the kickin' Fischer demos and a way of swinging my arms while carving that looks like I'm shtupping a donkey (thanks, cock-ass Winter Walden instructor in 1991).
Instead, I give you three new columns to the instant classic "Clans" breakdown by MVictors, Lew, and the Hoover Street Rag, referenced atop Tuesday's "Unverified Voracity" column. The new categories:
- Favorite Pre-Game Tradition
- Where to Watch an Away Game
- Every Michigan Fan Should Read...
Comments and suggestions for additional categories are very welcome. Chart made available on Google Docs if you want to make changes yourself (note them in the comments).
Enjoy. Update 6:30 p.m. songs now available too.
|Clan||Favorite Pre-Game Tradition||Where to Watch an Away Game||Every Michigan Fan Should Read...|
|Bo Clan (15%)||We barbecued these same ribs back in '73, an' I tell ya the stadium looks different and some o' th' buildings, but this spot hasn't changed a damn bit.||At home, with EVERYBODY over. This is the couch where we watch MICHIGAN football. Later in the year the wife makes chili.||Those Who Stay, by Curt Stephenson|
|The Rebellion (9%)||Beer Pong or 'U Honk We Drink' on the porch of a State St flophouse.||In the basement (because too emotional to watch with everyone upstairs) with laptops on their knees for Live-Blogging.||The Decimated Defense, by Misopogon|
|Corduroy Jacket w/ Patch Clan (1%)||Kerrytown Farmer's Market - it's so nice and peaceful downtown when all those football fans are at the game, isn't it?||Oh there's a game today? Are we good this year? How 'bout we take a walk in the Arb instead -- it's so lovely when the leaves change.||Fired Magic: Detroit's Pewabic Pottery Treasures, by Marcy Heller Fisher|
|In Rod We Trusted (5%)||Standing atop the little garden outcropping at Blimpy Burger and trying to engage the sadly misinformed Cotton Pickers waiting in line in an RR versus Carr debate.||At the Bo Clan guy's house, trying to convince everybody that THIS win over Notre Dame is going to be the start of something special. As RR becomes less defensible late in the year, take an increasing interest in the chili.||Denard: The Happening, by mdoc, or The Big Rodriguez, by Brian Cook|
|Lloyd Loyalists (20%)||The Broken Egg - we've been meeting here for breakfast every year since senior year, which was [1997+/- 3 years].||Local sports bar. Pray a member of the Rebellion comes in so you can kick his ass.||The Obscene Diaries of a Michigan Fan, by Craig Ross|
|Cotton Pickin’ Blues (45%)||The Golf Course.||At the home of the guy with the big TV sometimes if there's only going to be a few people over, but otherwise at home to facilitate that 3rd quarter nap.||If These Walls Could Talk: Michigan Football Stories from the Big House, by Jon Falk and Dan Ewald|
|Fierce Pragmatists (1%)||Dragging Misopogal to a different tailgate every week in the bare hopes of finding another Fierce Pragmatist, as opposed to the millions of Rebels and Rod-Trusters who think they're Fierce Pragmatists||Refreshing on the iPhone while stuck in Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur/Wife's Stupid Cousin's wedding.||Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace|
|The Second Estate (1.5%)||Giving the kids the insider passes so they can do the field tour during warmups, while you hold court in the important people rooms where everybody can see that you're an important person.||
The TV room of the cottage on Walloon Lake or Lake Charlevoix
|Bo's Lasting Lessons: The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership, by Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon|
|The Decatur Clan (2.5%)||Covering yourself in maize and walking down Hoover with the throngs all the way to the stadium, then turning back up to State St. and doing it all over again.||In West Lafayette, or East Lansing, or Columbus, or Evanston, or wherever the Wolverines may travel - probably next to Lloyd Brady.||100 Things Michigan Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, by Angelique Chengelis|
And with hats a-tippin' to the folks below, here's the music (after the leapin'):
|Clan||Favorite Song||Money Quote|
|Bo Clan||Across 110th Street Instrumental (aka The old Michigan Replay Theme), by J.J. Johnson and His Orchestra||"Michigan Replay, with Bo Schembechler and Larry Adderley."|
|The Rebellion||A Better Son/Daughter, by Rilo Kiley||"The lows seem so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap, and it teases you for weeks in its absence."|
|Corduroy Jacket w/ Patch Clan||A Toast to Michigan, by Louis Elbel||"To the corn-flow'r and the maize, Autumn skies and haze, Alma Mater."|
|In Rod We Trusted||Flash Delirium, by MGMT||Even if this hall collapses, I can stand by my pillar of hope; it's just a case of Flash delirium. Here's a growing culture deep inside a corpse."|
|Lloyd Loyalists||One Good Year, by Russell Crowe||"It’s New Years Day just like the day before. Same old skies of grey, same empty bottles on the floor. Another years gone by, and I was thinking once again, 'How can I take this losing hand and somehow win?'"|
|Cotton Pickin’ Blues||Won't Get Fooled Again, by The Who||"Change it had to come, we knew it all along. We were liberated from the fall that's all. But the world looks just the same. And history ain't changed 'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war."|
|Fierce Pragmatists||Still Alive, by Jonathan Coulton (ending credits of Portal)||"Now these points of data make a beautiful line. And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time. So I'm GLaD. I got burned, think of all the things we learned, for the people who are still alive."|
|The Second Estate||Don't Stop [Thinking About Tomorrow], by Fleetwood Mac||"If you wake up and don't want to smile, if it takes just a little while, open your eyes and look at the day; you'll see things in a different way."|
|The Decatur Clan||Love the One You're With, by Crosby, Stills & Nash||"Don't be angry, don't be sad, don't sit crying over good times you've had. There's a girl right next to you and she's just waiting for something to do."|