[Snare-Tom!] WEEEEEEEEEE WEEEEOOOOOOO WEEEEOOOOOOoooooh
Once upon a time you said our team looked fine.
We'd score points on dime with Denard in his prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, we're bound to fall."
You thought they were all kiddin' you?
We used to laugh about, the very concept of Hoke bailing us out.
Now we don't talk so loud. Now we don't seem so proud,
About having to be scrounging around, for our next meal.
How Does It Feel?
When last we met, it was January 9, Rich Rodriguez had been let go, Harbaugh was off to the NFL, and we were left hoping for one of those things like when the AD gets back from a sailing trip to pilfer a man who'd turned down Alabama. Those of us who never really clean out our Bookmarks found the link to Flight Tracker right where we left it and started doing the digital stalker thing. Two days later, Michigan named Brady Hoke the 19th head coach of the Michigan Wolverines varsity football team. Nobody quite knew how to process this hire, especially the kind of folks who frequent this place, so I guess everyone's therapists suggested catharsis by Diary. Below is a sampling of some of the different types of responses. They're ordered in my opinion of their usefulness (this is a matter of taste), and in all cases, the diaries are better than my portraits of them.
Things of General Use:
If you're picky about your diary content, these are the ones you might like.
- "How do I ever explain the Hoke hire to my kids?" by bronxblue
- "I'd like a short review of every game Hoke has coached against a BCS team ever kthx," by CRex
- "Let's have a levelheaded review of the upsides and downsides of Hoke hire," by OregonWolverine
"I wonder what Hunter S. Thompson would say about all this?" by jhackney (plus I loved the Hokemania pic:
- "This isn't about us, but about people like the proprietor of Ann Arbor Torch & Pitchfork, a sidewalk t-shirt vendor, and MGoBlog's server," by bronxblue
- "When RR games were bad, they were historically, epically bad," by Brady2Terrell
- "Now's a good time to revisit this blog's original take on the RR hire," by stubob
Shared Thought Loops:
There were plenty more where these came from. They're conversation starters. Click if you agree, or if you disagree and need to say so in the comments.
- "Let's give Brady a big Michigan hug because families stick together you guys," by MrWoodson
- "Changing coaches like underwear is okay because everyone but Mack Brown wins in their first 4 years anyway," by Wereverine
please kthx," by 3rdGenerationBlue
- "I'm sorry – I can't get that excited over this Hoke guy, but I'm rootin' nonetheless," by OregonWolverine
- "This diary really isn't about why we should have hired Bob Stoops," by ish
- "All we are sayin', is give Hoke a chance. All we are saaaaayin'…," by Lordfoul
- "Here's four really trite reasons to be cool with this hire. And in college football, trite works," by michiganfanforlife
- "Brandon et al. are probably better at this than we are," by JeepinBen
- "We tried change, and it sucked, but a return to the norm is a return to mediocrity," by Big Bird
- "The Hoke hire makes a lot of sense, if Dave Brandon was in a frat," by sammylittle
- "It wasn't going to happen under Rich Rod anyway," by Blazefire
Someone Had to Say It:
Forget analysis entirely, and go with your gut feeling. Your gut is saying:
"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
by Flyin' Blue
." by THE_KNOWLEDGE
- "FUDGE! FUdge clock asp Fuuuuu balls ship cocker spaniel dam asp hit bite hole fockahhackaloogie Shrew Darp Fudge!" by BlueSeoul
So ends Post-Bo-Era Coaching Search II. If you want a recap of how emo things got, due51 took a canvas of headlines. To summarize the consensus view, Rich Rodriguez's offenses were great but his defenses were doom-worthy. As for Coach Hoke, he's not the glamour hire that brings the kind of recruiting windfall that accompanies such folk, but he's a good cushion for the parts that were rubbed raw the last few years. My guess is it's a long way to Oxford Town from here. For 2011 benchmarks, I say "Blowin' in the Wind," but West Texas Blue thinks it's more like Notre Dame 2010 and 8-5.
Hope That the Roof Stays On
Hoke takes over a program that was just two wins behind that Rich Rod inherited, and is probably in much better shape for talent, though much further from competing.
By the end of this year you were probably (not) saying to yourself "W.T.F.W.C.W.T.A.T.Y.?" I know, right, what the F, why couldn't we tackle anybody this year? Well, maizeandconfused has the answers in this Diary of the Week-winning look at every tackle attempt made by a Wolverine in 2010. Skipping to the efficiency chart:
FTR, this is bad. Read the man's diary, and give him a medal while you're at it for suffering through the worst defense in Michigan history to bring this to you. Only bad thing I can say about it is he uses "gritty" for Vinopal without mentioning David Eckstein.
Also in Reasons Why 2010 Can Bite Me: Special Teams. This is why msoccer10* is so happy we have a special teams coach now. So is justingoblue, who found some numbers for new Michigan ST coach Dan Ferrigno dating back to 1999 with Cal.
* in case you asked: No. 10 on Michigan's men's soccer team is Fabio Pereira Villas Boas, a freshman midfielder from Brazil. For the ladies it's Meaghan Hennessey. I have no idea if that's what he's referencing.
The good folk of the MGoBlogosphere have also started getting into the new offense, with eyes of course fixated on Denard and whether Borges will be able to properly deploy our new weapon of mass dilithium. Auburn blog Wardamntailgate.com did a 2004 review of the Borges offense shared by snoopblue. Resident coach steve sharik says he doubts we'll be a spread option offense, for about (one third of) the same reason Rich Rodriguez didn't run a pro-style offense in 2008.
Gonna Change My Way of Thinking
Who was that guy who was sneaking into Michigan Stadium every night for a year and practicing in the bare hopes of one day being part of the Michigan football team? This guy, right here:
If you think you love Michigan football, you've got nothing on backup (to the backup to the backup) quarterback Jack Kennedy. Walk-ons often have stories of bewildering allegiance to their teams but having snuck into Michigan Stadium a few times in my day I know a.) how not easy this is, and b.) how cool it must feel. Sharing a name with a president is now the second-coolest thing you know about Kennedy.
Meanwhile, that moment when (again) it seemed like Les Miles was the money bet for Michigan's head coach elicited a couple treatises on over-signing in FBS. The first, from remdies, is a pretty good rundown of the ethical problem it creates. The second, from mejunglechop investigates whether this can be applied to LSU under Miles. Answer is yes.
Oh, and I feel bad for putting this way down here… Wait…I know..
Hoops fans – stop scrolling & look here!
Average Star Ranking by Year
DeuceInTheDeuce gave Beilein a job performance evaluation based on three criteria:
- Academic progress rate
The conclusion: keep him.
In etc., erik_t thinks there's evidence that the layoff makes bowl games sloppy in the first quarter (reason for playoff? /Wetzel). BeileinBuddy tries to construct a Big Ten hockey conference. And MGoBorracho is even more obsessed with the Alaska-Fairbanks Space Bear than you are. Unfortunately he's not the most obsessed person in the world with Ice Bear; that honor goes to 2-and-a-half-year-old Isabella May of Grand Rapids, Michigan, who has apparently asked daddy to play that video on YouTube 11,847 times. Congratulations Isabella; this one's for you:
Other Guys Quoting Bob Dylan This Week:
What happens when you leave Dylan's collected works on random play while writing a dear diary:
: Counterfeit philosophies have polluted all of your thoughts. Karl Marx has got ya by the throat, Henry Kissinger’s got you tied up in knots. When you gonna wake up, when you gonna wake up? When you gonna wake up and strengthen the things that remain?
: Well, I’m tired of talking, I’m tired of trying to explain. My attempts to please you were all in vain. Tomorrow night before the sun goes down, if I’m still among the living, I’ll be Dixie bound. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I was all right ’til I fell in love with you.
: I hate myself for lovin’ you and the weakness that it showed. You were just a painted face on a trip down Suicide Road. The stage was set, the lights went out all around the old hotel. I hate myself for lovin’ you and I’m glad the curtain fell.
: While some on principles baptized, to strict party platform ties, social clubs in drag disguise, outsiders they can freely criticize, tell nothing except who to idolize, and then say God bless him (except, actually, the opposite of that).
: You say you’re lookin’ for someone who will promise never to part, someone to close his eyes for you, someone to close his heart. Someone who will die for you an’ more. But it ain’t me, babe. No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe. It ain’t me you’re lookin’ for, babe.
: Look out kid, they keep it all hid. Better jump down a manhole, light yourself a candle. Don’t wear sandals. Try to avoid the scandals. Don’t wanna be a bum. You better chew gum. The pump don’t work ’cause the vandals took the handles.