Dear Diary is Speaks Fluent Jive Comment Count

Seth March 30th, 2012 at 8:28 AM


By now you've read the Burke tweet, which needed three full-sized threads before everyone could get their Ha-Ha's out: One to point out its irony, one for when big brother slapped him in the face for it, and of course the wicked hangover. The oddity I saw was "People u seek out is better than those that seek u" and "EVERYONE got something to say... smh I thought this was my life!" are in a dialect totally incongruent with every tweet I found in 20 minutes of scrolling through Hollis tweets. Dude wasn't just giving Trey Burke sage advice, he was delivering it in a language that young people understand. Allow me to translate:


This will all blow over soon enough but should serve as warning to young people everywhere: NEVER under any circumstances give your handle out to old people; they think you speak Jive!

Please tell me you got that. It's somebody's general rule that people won't watch movies more than 15 years older than they are.*† ‡ By this rule you'd have to have been born in 1995 (a high school senior) to be excused from Airplane! I'm looking at you, people who didn't get dragonchild's cockpit full of Michigan defenders.

Funny thing about Airplane!: I respect that flick as a classic to the point where I'll be condescending toward someone who hasn't seen memorized it, but until recently I didn't even know it was an almost perfect spoof of Zero Hour! (1957). It's a testament to how good Airplane! is that it stands up even if you don't get the main joke; to be fair, the diary kind of doesn't. It's also ironic that I would make fun of people for a movie reference going over their heads when what that movie referenced totally went over my head.

Everything You Need to Know About Airmen. So I checked out Zero Hour! and now one of the Airplane! jokes I never really got totally makes sense. You know how Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's character is obviously Kareem Abdul-Jabbar but the narrative keeps trying force this "he's Roger the co-pilot!" thing, to the point that when they pull him away he's got his Lakers shorts on? In Zero Hour! the co-pilot was played by Elroy Hirsch.


ie Elroy "Crazylegs" Hirsh…


…and when Kareem appears we're supposed to get how crazy it was that a kid could see Crazylegs in a pilot's uniform and not be like "OMIGOD YOU'RE ELROY HIRSCH!"

Crazylegs was a Badger who got moved to Michigan when a lot of WWII servicemen were transferred as part of a program to give in-training Navy and Marine officers a college education. Hirsch on the transfer:

"But I was to learn a far more important thing about Michigan. It's not something you can hold or see ... but you sure can feel it. I'm speaking about the great Michigan tradition. Corny you say? Not on your life. It's there ... it engulfs you."

Today the service academies don't get first dibs on any draft-age citizen they want, but they do have virtually unlimited scholarships, bringing in 40+ recruits a year (that makes two oversigners on the 2012 schedule). This and many more interesting facts about Air Force can be found in the very early preview by Rabbit21. The whole thing is fascinating. Diary of the Week!

Lines! The bats, oh the bats. They are home and hot, as softball swept their five-game homestand by 10-2, 11-2, 12-4, 6-0, and 12-2 scores. Outfielder Nicole Sappingfield had five RBI last night, including a walk-off grand slam. Shortstop Amy Knapp owes a girl in my section an apology for her put-away homer on Sunday vs. Penn State, which hurt the girl's wrist when she tried to catch it.

Player ERA W/L GS CG Sho IP H R ER BB SO OppAvg.
Haylie Wagner 1.28 15-4 15 13 4 109.1 72 25 20 20 68 0.185
Sara Driesenga 2.39 6-5 14 5 1 76.0 73 41 26 25 39 0.247
Stephanie Speierman 1.83 1-0 2 1 1 15.1 13 5 4 6 17 0.22
TEAM 1.73 22-9 x 19 6 202.0 158 71 50 53 125 0.211

Etc. CenterIce's writeup on the incoming hockey recruits. AC1997 updated the basketball offseason outlook for departures; now with 100% more ohgodBurkestay! Helle had a board-bumped travel diary for this year's road games. If you're going to Minnesota, try the Jucy Lucy [sic]. Pro-tip: let it cool first.


* There's a corollary rule that states you will think anything made in the 15-year span around when you were born is pure genius, but this rule is really just an observation by people my age that most of the best movies (Godfather, Star Wars, Back to the Future, etc.) all came out around then.§

† Trekkies are of course excluded.

‡ It's at least 17, since my wife agrees with me that The Lion in Winter with Peter O'Toole and Katharine Hepburn is way better than the remake with Patrick Stewart and Glenn Close. Reminder: Angevin discussion is not OT in comments. Someone's going to take me up on this eventually.

§ Which is to say if some kid thinks Harry Potter and something with Russell Crowe in it constitutes the golden age of film, they should be beaten.‖

‖ Yes I'm doing the Alt85 thing again.


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Guys, we're friends. We like each others' blogs. We snark at each others' Neanderthalness. We trade ADs and sit in press boxes together and provide shoulders to cry on when clever un-hateable people in purple get pretentious in our homes. So, as a friend, you gotta get this shit under control, man. Do whatever it takes; run a passing spread, raze a heathen temple, sacrifice the virgins—use Nebraska's if you don't have any—hire a total outsider who hates defense and lose for three years; you must placate this thing before it escapes and wrecks every ballcarrier within 800 miles of a cornfield.

Also you may want to check the bottom of your RB depth chart to see if some weird voodoo is trying to find carries for the most surprising Heisman candidate ever. You're looking for something about 5'6", and looks at you funny if you touch his water bottle.


Wolverine Devotee put this together. I'm not a fan of great big dramatic music but I'm a huge fan of little goalies getting lifted by Vaughn then getting hardware from a guy a foot taller than him even without the skates on. I've never been so happy for a guy going to Columbus. He's definitely on the first ballot for the…


Ezeh-E wants a two-miracle limit for guys to get in. Then he includes Woodson and RVB. On the one hand it's one of sports' ironies that often the guys who work hardest and put the most time and effort into playing their sports well are the biggest superstars. I'm all for this miracle thing if you remove the sandpaper and just call it the Pantheon of Wolverines with Paranormal Abilities. The obvious guys will get in but need to have moments that defy the laws of nature to do so. For example, running 85 yards after Patrick Omameh used an NFL-bound linebacker as a safety-hunting projectile just takes speed. Doing this on your first play ever…

Now that is a complete, out-of-the-sky miracle. Speaking of things falling out of the sky…


I just…that's the title. I'm still reading the title. He's going to be okay. Weird thing about Buck I Guy is Bolgen Gobcat fans think he's a dick but the Michigan fans seem to think he's a good guy. We now know where Turkey vultures stand. Stand…segue from stand.



Those figures: MSHOT92 made those!

And now for your moment of zen:



March 30th, 2012 at 12:39 PM ^

Hopkins is kind of overly creepy in that film. He went on to be a fantastic actor but if the '68 version has one flaw it's that Hopkins played Richard as if he couldn't decide if he's a psychopath or a charicature of Oedipal complex with his emotions too close to the surface.

I didn't realize this until I saw the play in Stratford and some actor nailed Richard as a pleaser who needed a father (thus he is a casualty of the senseless wars between the royal couple, rather than just a casualty of Eleanor). The words are the same but the different take on the character made Richard more about the jealousy he had for his father's favorites (Henry the Young King, then John). I also liked that this Richard aped a lot of what Henry did, especially when he was around Eleanor.


March 30th, 2012 at 10:10 AM ^

MGoConfession: I have never seen Airplane! all the way through. Bits and pieces when it's on AMC, but never start-to-finish.

Should I Zero Hour now to get the full experience of the Airplane jokes, or should I just go ahead and see Airplane!, and go back to Zero Hour later.

Note: much of this decision depends on Neflix/Amazon/shady internet site availability.


March 30th, 2012 at 10:20 AM ^

"as part of a program to give in-training Navy and Marine officers a college education." 

I knew all the references to Airplane and Zero Hour and all that, but didn't know this little tid bit of information about Hirsh.  Its interesting to me because my father, a 1947 grad of Michigan, was in Navy ROTC and split his time in Ann Arbor by doing a tour on a destroyer in WWII.  I have to imagine that he knew Crazylegs while he was there....I'll have to ask.


March 30th, 2012 at 3:26 PM ^

....Navy's V-12 Program at Michigan. V-12 was added to increase the throughput of midshipmen through colleges and universities. Candidates underwent an accelerated baccalaureate program and got very basic Navy or Marine Corps training on campus. They they were sent to a few months of midshipman training, then off they went to war.


March 30th, 2012 at 3:48 PM ^

that sounds a lot like what my dad went through.  I'll have to ask him the details of this program and see if its the same thing.  90 yrs old next year, and still sharp as a tack...reads MGoWolverine magazine cover to cover, an entire newspaper each day, and tells me stories of The Pretzel Bell when he was in AA.  Good stuff...


March 30th, 2012 at 11:57 AM ^

TV to some extent is problematic, because it does date a bit more as something current to it's time, and isn't as easily accessible, outside of buying boxed dvd sets.  Nick and those channels don't even rerun stuff as much.


March 30th, 2012 at 11:07 AM ^

I am only 26 but I love Airplane, probably too much. I have made everyone around my age watch it and everyone seems confused or doesnt laugh. Surely they have to get that its one of the greatest comedies ever.

*Find the reference


March 30th, 2012 at 12:10 PM ^

Stripes, Blues Brothers, Young Frankenstein, etc. But those four are kinda universal, and represent the zenith of those particular comedy greats. I'm sure we forget all the so-so or awful comedies they pumped out back then too (Murray also had Meatballs), but stand the test of time, funny beginning to end comedies seems fewer and farther between.  You've got your Hangover, your Anchorman, and all...the modern quotables...but you have Adam Sandler  still making movies too.  (And his best have some quotable lines, and scenes..but most are pretty awful movies). I think what's changed in comedy is that there used to be ideas for comedic movies, and then they'd cast funny guys in them...or the funny guys themselves were coming up with the ideas, along with the director/writer.  Now it almost seems like they need to create a new vehicle in the Sandler/Ferrell/etc. career train, and let's get it out there. If it's funny trappings, and at that time the comedian has enough good material to ad lib in it, it can work.  But if the movie works with washed up actors, up and comers, or no've got a good movie on your hands.


March 30th, 2012 at 11:09 AM ^

Some movies I've enjoyed over the years include Charade (1963), Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) and The 39 Steps (1935).  I was born in 1977.  I don't mind the hate (I did post arguably irrelevant content that wasn't going to entertain everyone and hell, the Internet would troll the Bard himself were he alive today), but I think being born in the wrong decade isn't a good excuse for missing a classic.

Peter Graves also carried himself.  His deadpan demeanor in the movie was a parody of his more serious roles in the old Mission: Impossible series, but I enjoyed his performance knowing nothing about his prior roles.

I didn't know about Elroy Hirsch, but it's interesting how everything always goes back to U-M athletics.  There's apparently even an autobiographical movie about Hirsch, Crazylegs (1953), starring himself.  I think we can safely give that one a pass, though.


March 30th, 2012 at 3:31 PM ^

Don't forget the Hitchcock movies like Rear Window, North by Northwest, Vertigo, The Birds, and of course, Psycho.

Unfortunately, for me, the 15 year rule encompasses all of these movies.  Now that I think about it, Citizen Kane and The Wizard of Oz fall under the rule.  Scary.


April 4th, 2012 at 6:51 AM ^

before I saw it.  It's just brilliant, the cast is unbelievable and well worth the effort.

"Hah - you fell for that like an egg from a tall chicken!"