Dear Diary Looks Sweet Upon that Seat Comment Count

Seth April 20th, 2012 at 11:45 AM


In 1961 IBM Labs made the first computer talk. What it said was "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you! It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two!"

My grandpa loved that song to the point he would be constantly finding socially acceptable excuses to show off he knew the verses. That this song has been trapped in my and every person in Ann Arbor's heads this week would tickle him to no end. This is your fault Taylor Lewan.

Twosie Mania struck Ann Arbor this week when Lewan parked his bicycle built for two in front of Lamda Lamda Lamda.* User morepete the Great kindly did the cropping and released the PhotoshopGiMPCracken. Taylor promptly appeared at Iwo Jima and Tiananmen Square, Gettysburg, and V-Day parades. He crossed the moon with E.T., crossed Abbey Road, served as centerpiece for a Michelangelo [some other ninja turtle's] masterpiece, and kindly shuttled Amira Gulch around Kansas. He's in ur Windows XP, playing as ur paperboy, and much much more. Then Chunkums put him in Punch Out and won the internet:


You have no idea how close this came to being front-paged twice, complete with music bars. Keep training, Denard: next up is Saban Popinski.


* I know it's Chi Psi, and that they don't like being called "Chipsy." They were the likeable-nerdy frat in my day and from the looks of the photo that hasn't changed.




How did Devin really do? My "football hmmm" series was partly inspired and in some part informed by Space Coyote's football fundamentals course offering from a few years ago. I was ready to wistfully mention him among the MCaliburs of yesteryear when suddenly a Spring Game Breakdown of Devin's pass plays appeared in the diaries. Sample? Sample.

DG’s footwork is pretty good here.  It’s a 3 step drop and he gains depth with his first step.  His next two steps are shorter and more compact to gather his body.  His shoulder look good and his eyes are down field.  He steps into the pocket, but seems to relax and doesn’t use his legs in his throw (even though he steps into it a little).  This is why it looks like he is just playing catch in the back yard.  The ball goes where his shoulders are pointing, and thus the result.  Let’s break it down a bit further.

I'll have it front-paged sometime this week but you can read it now. Professor Space Coyote (of Space!) is your Diarist of the Week.

The icers you really really really missed. Maybe not to the degree of the program-redefining seniors of the 132nd football team, but there Hagsflagwas something special about last year's hockey seniors, from Hagelin's flag to Louie's love expertise to Rust's checking, etc., even before a goddamn early whistle stole the national championship from them. Your hockey man CenterIce took the opportunity of the NHL playoffs to catch up with last year's seniors in their rookie seasons. Hagelin obviously has made his mark with the Rangers as another non-Gaborik Gaborik, most recently drawing a three-game suspension from confirmed Swede-hating Gary Bettman. Rust's AHL line doesn't do justice to the force he was on the ice for the Scranton Baby Pens a misnomered Columbus affiliate (ed-S: wow that was stupid). Love Expert Louie had a good season in the minors, two thirds of that in the ECHL. Scooter, Burlon, Langlais, Hogan, Winnett, Llewellyn, and even Fallon are found.

Etc. Video of the Spring Game is broken up by QBs by Thorin. Go16blue created estimate rankings for unranked guys and added them to Ace's Big Ten recruiting roundup. Tennis update. Blockhams discover how Twitter works in an information vacuum.

Best of the Board:



via and triangle_M

So the Michigan Marching Band was notified they would not be going to Dallas, because there's the barest justification for not doing so, and because no matter how much you're making, the quoted $400,000 or the actual $200,000 it would cost to fly to band down and bus them around and put them up in some halogenated Radisson in that soulless outlet mall of a city is a lot of money that could be flipped to profit if those seats are sold to alumni. MMB is pissed, fans are pissed, and the internet is all "Don't Stop Us Now!" Obligatory MMB pantomime of Queen:

To MMB: srsly, there are worse things in life than missing a chance to see a city whose top cultural attractions are "the largest collection of Spanish art outside of Spain" and SMU. If you guys can parlay the outrage into a deal to travel to ANY Big Ten town this year instead, my advice is to take it, unless you're really into investigating the Kennedy assassination and/or seeing what a city looks like if it was designed by the same people who came up with cubicles and think goal-oriented dolphins are inspiring.

Obviously Dave Brandon is one of those people. He probably thinks Dallas is awesome. Dallas thinks Dave Brandon is awesome. I think Michigan football is awesome so I can't boycott it on TV even if they come out in maize helmets and white pants and bumblebee jerseys, and I wasn't going to the game anyway. Giving your customers less for the same price is  a tried and true business strategy, as is offsetting expenditures by cutting something else, in this case Borges's raise. We're in favor of paying coordinators SEC coordinator prices (though when you realize they could cover 10 more starting annual salaries or five really good jobs for the same cost it's a little jarring) and DB is in favor of running Michigan with business acumen. I guess what I'm saying is I can only criticize so much when I benefit from Michigan being flush with cash. It's galling, but it's part of the bargain that got us a stylish carriage instead of a twosie.


shazor2huddle w stenavich&bass

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Brian did something like this in 2010 but Wolverine Devotee took the concept to a three-deep, which means you get to argue whether Zach Kaufman or Lawrence Reid gets that last LB spot instead of whether Brandon Graham or Woodley was the best DE. His has Mallett, Jerome Jackson, Carson Butler, Carl Tabb, Calvin Bell, Alex Mitchell, Pat Massey, Chris Graham, Scott McClintock, Markus Curry, Grant Mason and Jeremy LeSeuer, all of whom I'd drop in favor of Tate Forcier, Kevin Dudley, Martavious Odoms, Greg Mathews, Martell Webb, Dave Pearson, Stevie Brown (as a SAM), Lawrence Reid, Donovan Warren, Troy Woolfolk, and Jamar Adams, respectively. I'd also lose Ron Bellamy to give me Adam Finley, who could kick or punt if either Rivas or Zoltan go down.


Don't miss this opportunity to see Breaston back in maize and blue. No not that maize and blue, I mean the one George Washington would have worn if he had fabulous pecs.


This is go16blue's response to Dantonio offering our long snapper a scholarship:

Guh, another head to head recruiting loss to MSU. When will it end? And don't give me any of that "It's because MSU is desperate enough to spend a scholarship on a long snapper" bullshit, we all know it's because Dantonio is a master recruiter.

Two threads on RCMB completely agree. Coming soon: a list of the top 30 recruits in Michigan in 2013 and how MSU has way more guys from that list than Michigan.

Edit: I forgot your moment of zen.

It's this again, of course.



J. Lichty

April 20th, 2012 at 12:15 PM ^

and he is the MMB.

That is not quite as bad as We are ND, who am I kidding, its horrible, maybe even worse.

If keeping them from Dallas means I never have to watch the MMB do a lip sync to Bohemian Rhapsody or Meat Loaf, count me in the minority and keep em grounded.


April 20th, 2012 at 12:22 PM ^

"Rust's AHL line doesn't do justice to the force he was on the ice for the Scranton Baby Pens a misnomered Columbus affiliate."

Wilkes-Barre/Scranton is the Penguins Affiliate. Columbus didn't sign Rust after his senior season at Michigan, which allowed him to become a free agent.


April 20th, 2012 at 12:39 PM ^

Thanks, repaired. I knew Columbus had drafted him so when I saw "baby Pens" i started going off on the Penguins then thought "wasn't he drafted by..." As mentioned above: stupid stupid stupid. I am embarrassed.


April 20th, 2012 at 12:27 PM ^

I hear what you're saying about Dallas not being all that exciting as far as places to travel goes but I think the whole point is one of principle . . . If there was any game that would qualify as an exception to the travel rules, wouldn't it be this one?  I mean, this game against Alabama is arguably more important (i.e. higher profile) than many of the bowl games the MMB has attended in recent history - especially given the size of the payout for playing this game in Dallas.  It just seems like the right thing to do.  The AD is not corporation in the sense that Brandon has more than "shareholders" to report to.  I think he sometimes (often?) loses sight of that fact.



April 20th, 2012 at 12:48 PM ^

It sucks for the fans more than the band. The band will still travel as much this year as they did last year, so what I'm saying is the outrage shouldn't be over how the band got screwed. The outrage is over how people bought tickets and were getting excited because the band is a crucial part of the experience of a Michigan football game. No band just adds to the total wrongness of playing in Jerryworld against Cheaty McScummypants at the height of his powers, probably while wearing maize bumblebee jerseys and white pants.

The principle of the matter is smeared all over the curb, its teeth picked up by black Rav4's (the only car anyone drives in Dallas) and deposited 10 miles down the road at a shopping center that looks exactly like the one where the twitchy soft tissue of the principle of the matter is leaking fluids. This whole thing is disgusting, and I can't even boycott it because it's a Michigan football game and I am such a person who literally plans his wedding around Michigan football on a MAC weekend.


April 20th, 2012 at 1:58 PM ^

The worst part for us fans is exactly as you say.  Boycotting the game would be like cutting off our noses to spit our faces.  And you're right - the biggest FAIL of the whole thing really affects the Michigan fans that bought tickets to the game (and even some Alabama fans that can appreciate good marching bands).



April 20th, 2012 at 12:29 PM ^

You did mention the tri lams, so maybe you are already of aware of this Seth, but that song is also the soundtrack for Takashi's glorious victory in the tricycle/beer shotgunning race in the greek olympics.  Some serious synergy in these associations.


April 20th, 2012 at 12:40 PM ^

Disclaimer:  I'm not part of the band now, but if the MMB today is anything like what it was 10 years ago, I think I can speak for their mentality regarding this trip.  Also, this isn't to dig up yesterday's flamewar.  This is just me channeling my inner band nerd:

The MMB is NOT treating this as being robbed of a free vacation.  As I said yesterday:

". . . the band can be rather 'gung ho' about its duty.  Honestly, Dallas sucks.  But if you're told there were plans to send you somewhere and then you're dropped off those plans like you don't matter, you get insulted.  It doesn't matter if 'there' is Detroit or Dallas.  If you hear you were supposed to go, you want to go."

Honestly, road trips suck.  They're not fun.  And Dallas sucks.  But if the MMB hears there were plans to deploy them, and they're nixed for reasons that -- good or bad -- could in no way be unanticipated, it's insulting.  They don't want to go because "yay, free vacation" -- frankly it's a lot of work and lost time and travel fatigue.  It really sucks hauling your textbooks around and doing homework on a plane or bus.  No, they want to go because they felt they were wanted -- and nowthey feel like they got tossed out the back of a truck.  The band practices many hours a week to represent the University, so they take it rather personally when they're tossed aside.


April 20th, 2012 at 12:59 PM ^

Road trips for the MMB are NOT VACATIONS.  They do not go to visit the city.  You are exhausted, you have minimal free time, and you usually have some sort of practice.  The exception would be the bowl game where there is usually ~2 half days of free time or so.  

I think the complaint for the band is they don't get to go to the game now.  That's the main issue, and at this point it would be very expensive for them to fly down there and get a ticket.  






April 20th, 2012 at 1:23 PM ^

I took out a paragraph bitching about DB before and now it's back in after I re-read the article and realized it sounded like I was calling out the band for overreacting.

It sucks for the band. What I'm saying is "you screwed the band" is not the main argument here. The main argument is "you cheapened the product!"


April 20th, 2012 at 1:18 PM ^

If you're going to Dallas for the "culture" you're really missing the point... If you want to see fancy art and statues go to Italy or France. What are LA's top "cultural" attractions exactly? Right... People don't go to places like Miami, LA, Dallas etc for the "culture."  There are a lot of fun things down here to do, things you'll never experience in any other place in America (The Stockyards) and tons of history of Texas mixed with amusement parks, sports stadiums galore, fabulous restaurants (not that a MMB member could afford the creme de la creme but there are some VERY good inexpensive restaurants) and more than enough stuff to fill a full weekend without seeing Spanish art.


End Rant


(Also, I use quotes because it has bugged me for at least a decade how people use "culture" as a way to discriminate. I.E. "Oh, they've never been to a play? Wow, they aren't very cultured" - that's effing BS.  A play is just a medium for entertainment - if you like it, do it, if you don't it shouldn't have any impact on if you're cultured. Ok, now end rant. Just for FYI I've been at least a dozen plays so I'm not some "uncultured" person...  Also, I'm not a native Texan, I'm from Ohio and moved here 6 years ago so I'm not just one of those people who loves everything Texas all the time.)


April 20th, 2012 at 1:51 PM ^

You're comparing Dallas to Los Angeles? Just because you aren't aware of it, doesn't mean LA doesn't have cultural activities. Tons of museums, many of which are world class--Getty, Weisenthal. Obviously the beach. The issue with LA is your life revolves around traffic.

There are probably 5-7 cities in the country that are unique--living there is different than living elsewhere: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Miami, and New Orleans (at least pre-Katrina, haven't been back).

Replace Dallas with Denver or Columbus or Seattle or Atlanta and it's the same life with different scenery.



April 20th, 2012 at 1:51 PM ^

You're comparing Dallas to Los Angeles? Just because you aren't aware of it, doesn't mean LA doesn't have cultural activities. Tons of museums, many of which are world class--Getty, Weisenthal. Obviously the beach. The issue with LA is your life revolves around traffic.

There are probably 5-7 cities in the country that are unique--living there is different than living elsewhere: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Francisco, Miami, and New Orleans (at least pre-Katrina, haven't been back).

Replace Dallas with Denver or Columbus or Seattle or Atlanta and it's the same life with different scenery.



April 20th, 2012 at 1:53 PM ^

Your defense of Dallas underscores my point about it sucking. Every city with 500,000 people or more in its area can brag about its cuisine and nightlife and whatnot. I named Spanish Art and SMU because that is exactly what the City of Dallas has listed as its top cultural attractions on its website.

It's like the guy who defends the chefs at Applebee's because they think when we diss Applebee's we're calling them McDonalds. Or perhaps more to the point, the Boise State fan who gets pissed off when we rag on Boise State for not having the tradition of Michigan. Three thousand Matt Wiles agree:

People go to Miami because hot people congregate there to be drunk and topless. This is "fun" but not at all rewarding.

So if you are a member of MMB and you are going to get X amount of free travel this year, the chance to be there if Michigan beats Alabama is awesome. But any campus in the Big Ten is more worth seeing, even if just through a bus window on your way through a whirlwind 36 hours, than Dallas. It is the Applebees of cities.


April 20th, 2012 at 4:22 PM ^

Because it's not a "cultural" pull. 


I guess the latter is just your opinion but mine is Dallas is a better place to visit than at least half of the Big Ten cities and that's even considering their value as a place of football.  But, we've had this conversation before and I know I'm in the minority.


I'd much rather go to a destination like Dallas that actually has stuff to do (despite lack of "culture") than some place like Tuscaloosa or South Bend or Athens (GA).

Benoit Balls

April 20th, 2012 at 3:51 PM ^

just look around a grocery store and it is everywhere. No one sells a half gallon of ice cream anymore, all the containers are 1.5 liters. A "big" bag of potato chips might be 14 ounce but will cost you $4, when it used to be less than that for a pound of Ruffles. The soda companies are even selling 1.5 liter bottles now for a buck because they want to still have a product at that price point, but dont want to sell a 2 liter for that price anymore (and yet a 20 oz at the register is always $1.59 which is just lame. But they still sell them, if only because those 20 oz bottles fit much more easily in a dashboard cupholder)

Many companies are finding that reducing product is preferable to raising prices. The big push now if for new packaging techniques to distract customers from the fact theat they are, in fact, receiving less.

Eventually, this could drive Frito Lay or Coca Cola or Maxwell House out of business. Not any time soon though.