Dear Diary Goes to Market

Submitted by Seth on June 7th, 2013 at 10:42 AM

Once upon a time there was a pig.

0978067981931_500X500

We already have an Ace.

Dr. Hamlet was a very intelligent pig. One day he and his friend StephenRKass went to the Midwest Coach's Tour and met Brady Hoke, and heard Dave Brandon explain the annexation of Maryland and Rutgers as a population-grab, which any Europa Universalis player can appreciate. Dr. Hamlet and his friend cornered Laura Hoke, and Laura Hoke read all about Dr. Hamlet, and they became quite fond of each other. That adventure was front-paged and the whole town came out to enjoy it, because he enjoys all UM Alumni Club events (upcoming: John U Bacon in Columbus a week from today).

Then Dr. Hamlet heard a yell from the diaries section. "Dr. Hamlet!" it said. "Come see how Michigan has fared against everybody in head-to-head recruiting!" It was Dr. Hamlet's friend Coastal Elite! Dr. Hamlet loved the study and found it quite Informative, and gave it Diarist of the Week!

Seeing how much their friend Dr. Hamlet liked to read recruiting studies, his friends all got together and decided to throw him a recruiting study party!

pies

But by that point even Dr. Hamlet had become distracted by the surprise release of a new installment in the great CRex Saga, though this one mostly made him a really sad pig because he's had bad experiences with stories about barnyard communism in the past.

Etc. The Blockhams got a pig too.

Best of the Board

ALAN BRANCH DID IT

8816313622_6b61f376e9

by hail2thevict0r

Several weeks ago I asked in this space if the Photoshoppers could produce a full Alan Branch rampage. We were passing the phone around and refreshing the entire ride down to Kentucky over Memorial Day as they provided. We salute his victims: Anthony Morelli, Kikko Haydar, Patrick Roy, Maximus, Pablo Escobar, a Pamplona bull, Joe Frazier, Titanic, Kyle Larson's car, Mufasa, Claude Lemieux, Pisa's tower, the Death Star, and Morelli again on the rolling hills wallpaper.

Chunkums went in a different direction:

hardawaynotentertained

ALL THE PAHOKEEIANS

Brandin Hawthorne jumped on Vincent Smith's account to do his own hello to the board. We learn things like the difference between old coaches and new:

Hoke staff's just more on the coaching and teaching the players and with Coach Rod's staff it was hard to relate at times--and this tradition we speak of I'm curious to know what it is—yeah there were so new things that we did differently with the new staff but for the most part it was pretty much the same in that aspect

Hoke and Mattison do more teaching, draw from the well of Michigan: a pattern emerges. Also who on the team does the best Hoke impersonation and how fast Pahokee's rabbits are.

So fast that one of my high school teammates go by the name Jackrabbit in the NFL and i would have to say we've all caught rabbits except Richard.

Tsk tsk Mr. Ash.

JUST DIARY MAN!

Space Coyote is a great writer and is one of the best at talking Michigan X's and O's. But now to read his stuff I have to find a board entry that goes to his blog that goes to Maize n Brew, then come back to the board for the discussion. Here's the play as he draws it up:

Slide4_medium

ETC. Father-son Wolverines and other family connections discussed. Pick your favorite M quarterback (Denard, but I'd take Henson for this offense). Recruits in the 2012-'14 classes in the top 5 at their position on at least one site. Urban makes a funny face. Ed Hightower react has gifs of course. A discussion on Cass Tech and if there's a shift in the readiness of players coming out of Wilcher's program. Let's throw chickens at Notre Dame. Upchurch shot the moon.

Your Moment of Zen:

 Things I have tried: jangling keys while listening to metal

Comments

Space Coyote

June 7th, 2013 at 10:55 AM ^

But I mean, you don't have to go to my blog, you can just go to Maize n Brew. Just trying to get a little pub out of it until it gets some traction. In the future I'll just link to Maize n Brew though. FWIW, you can also post comments at my blog or at Maize n Brew. You could also post them somewhere else, but I probably won't answer you then because that would just be ridiculous.

Part II (link directly to Maize n Brew) is up as well, by the way. And because of that I had changed the title of my board post, and now you have a dead link in your post. I'm just trolling the hell out of you right now.

BiSB

June 7th, 2013 at 12:04 PM ^

June is going to be slow. Because nothing is happening.

July, though? July will be OH MY GOD SO F*CKING SLOW. Because STILL NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

There's only so much we can do to make events event themselves. Blame Fort Schembechler and the remarkably stable state of Michigan football. DAMN YOU, BRADY HOKE.

Jonesy

June 7th, 2013 at 6:53 PM ^

With your mention of Pahokee I was reminded of something.  Anyone watch The Glades?  I just started watching it on Netflix and there's an episode that takes place in Pahokee and opens on a bunch of young aspirint football players chasing rabbits.  The story revolves around a player named De'Andre and when the women of the town are discussing all the schools visiting to recruit him one of them says 'I really hope he goes to Michigan.'  It brought a smile to my face, the writer had to be a UofM grad or at least fan.