Dear Diary Forges a More Perfect Union

Submitted by Seth on June 29th, 2012 at 9:00 AM

Reminder: MGoEvent is Tomorrow, 3pm, at Underground (1114 South University, Ann Arbor) to launch HTTV. RSVP here. Also this goes right to book order------------------->


Sadly the most recent 2013 commitment did not come with a pair, so the diarists decided they'd do the doubling for him. Not even counting two weeks of Blockhams, four other diarists penned not one but two articles each.

Michigan's Defense Again. Let's start with hart20 since I've been jonesin' recently for a little Mattison appreciation. This is a comparison of Mattison coordinator stops past to find out whether there's a clear Mattison effect. This sort of thing can never be conclusive but there's a pattern emerging of immediate and dramatic improvement against the run in the first year, and holding serve the second (though in early stops the pass defense was more variable).

Hart's second diary is a follow-up to the ND preview he was penning before, this time with more OSU and Bama, wrangling up what the interwebs have been saying on things like the ND QB situation, and whether they're headed for their own Never Forget backfield poster. Ohioan recruiting and Eddie Lacy's injuries also feature. I wonder how the ND fans reacted to Brian Kelly saying the goal for Year Three is 8 wins. Purple faces? Diarist of the week.

Defining the Debate. If you think that game at the end of the 2012 season is a culture-clash, wait'll you see the one at the beginning. The blue-blooded TSS tossed out the opening salvo with Michigan's signature weapons: variability charts, and contingency tables.


That's taken from Part I, the roster comparison. He followed up this week with Part II, which accounts for a lot of the headaches caused by Alabama roster analysis* then gives us a comparison of early enrollees and redshirts. The statistics are a bit dense for the non-statistical, but there's a lot to learn there. A few Bama fans arrived in the comments to debate the existence over-signing because Les Miles is a Michigan man, see? A Part III comes, and more subjective analysis is promised. Also promised—as regular readers of This Week in Schadenfreude can attest—rising tensions as our pretentious selves prepare to meet a particularly notorious (notable exceptions noted) internet fanbase that's guaranteed to push every single one of our buttons.


* As I learned with Decimated Defense, Alabama's roster is a bitch to analyze. Oversigning and the corresponding attrition rates mean there's so many guys to track down, recruits appear in multiple classes since so many are shuttled off to friendly prep schools and JUCOs. And then there's the names, which as TSS discovered have so many hyphens, variant spellings and repeats it's harder on a VLOOKUP function than a list of Roman generals. #lateantiquityexcelreferencesFTW



Quarterbacks and Rivalries. Okay, Son of Lloyd Brady, I love your diaries but the tables—can't we do something about the tables? Copy into Tableizer, paste into Notebook, remove the first paragraph, paste into html, voila: pretty, perfectly width-ed tables.

Complaint registered, Wow! The first he penned is a comparison of dual-threat QBs Denard, RGIII, Collin Klein, Taylor Martinez, and Braxton Miller. SoLB on Robert Griffin:

If it seemed like RGIII was putting up video game numbers to open last season, well he wasn’t because you can’t put up numbers like that in video games. He started with amazing proficiency and I got all too well known #DIV/O! error message for his OOC ATT/INT & TD/INT because he didn’t throw any picks until conference play. Although his stats weren’t as gaudy in conference, I’m sure any QB in the nation would have accepted that level of play as he was still extremely effective.

It's a lot of information but difficult to compare with the big charts. I suggest you dive in anyway for the splits: conference/OOC, 1st 6 games/last 7, home/away&neutral. Lol away at Taylor Martinez once D.C.s realized they just have to make him throw.

His next diary is shorter and easier, and covers great rivalries by series record, average score, differential, etc. I'm not as big a fan of this one because not all rivalry games are created equal (find me someone not from Alabama who never misses an Iron Bowl). The Red River Shootout may be an historical pick 'em, but Michigan-Ohio State is the kind of rivalry where a 36-point spread can still manage to immortalize the number 50. Point spreads don't matter that much (side-note: I'm pretty sure this page on Bentley didn't call them Ohio in the end notes before).

CRex and the Korean Hallows. The CRex saga continues this summer. In his latest OT blockbuster, (now-) Mrs. CRex and the Pentagon team up to defeat the INS, Little Sister throws a stag after discovering vodka is not a wine cooler, and on the opposite side of the world from Columbus a Buckeye can still get trolled by four hookers. Between you and me, Brian is going to throw a fit once he learns a perfect opportunity to re-enact the K-Pop Girls' Generation video with a Michigan helmet was missed in favor of Lollipop. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, through the powers of M-Wolverine's copy/paste function and superb foresight, the collected works of CRex are now available in their own diary. Congratulations to the young couple. May your marriage be as entertaining as your courtship.


Etc. User wallaby created several classy options for Legends patches like the one above. Compared with the real one at right, well there's no comparison. rman247 made his own recruiting rankings by watching highlight videos of each prospect. I mean to do something comparing his ratings versus the major sites' unless he does it first. And someone who I'm surprised would remember Diallo Johnson that well given his stated age (mid-college in 2006) is nevertheless handled DialloJohnson and wrote about Bo's death being that reality-slap that comes when your adulthood synapse decides it's time to activate.

Best of the Board


This new board meme bores me: You are all Roll Damn Tide's new account. If that went whew we had one of those notable exception Bama fans around who posted well-written and considered recruiting info from time to time until he got one wrong and took offense to people who took being wrong the wrong way. Now asking if the OP is RDT has become the new "First!," and almost as annoying. Less annoying: user I Only Reply in Gifs is tautologically up to 115 posts now.


Milkstake's brother's highlight video of Michigan-Notre Dame 2011. Keep trying Kapron; I'm sure you'll get Denard down before Milkstake's brother puts 2010 Illinois to Sigur Ros. Or anything to JDK & Rey, i.e. Michigan quarterback Jack Kennedy and receiver Joe Reynolds. This is them:


Wot it sez on the tin. Space Coyote added question 8: toilet paper wrapped over or under, and that's how I discovered this site. Consensus is over unless you've got a cat or young children. The rest of my answers: 1.) Tank, 2.) Always lose unless called upon to perform a service (like knocking off a potential B1G tie). 3.) Which Navarre argument are we having, the one from 2000 when he slaughtered MAC schools then was overmatched vs. UCLA, or the one from 2003 on whether someone in the NFL can teach him touch? Guy was a good quarterback and a great person. He also read this year's HTTV before you did so nah! 4.) Trick question: Ditka doesn't exist. 5.) I'll take a mascot if students come up with it on their own; if the marketing department is involved no thanks. 7.) Ale [full stop]. 6.) Tomorrow, all identities will be revealed. Also it will be revealed that the MGoStaff are really the cast from SilverHawks (dibs Bluegrass). Tally ho!

Your moment of zen:


HT redwhiteandMGOBLUE



June 29th, 2012 at 9:28 AM ^

I clicked on I only reply in Gifs' account hoping to see 115 Gifs. Alas, Profit gave him 100 bonus points after his second post. Deservedly, mind you, but what a let down nonetheless.


June 29th, 2012 at 10:15 AM ^

Oh, cute, the Ohio QB has a tattoo.

Also, if someone doesn't roll the TP from the top forward if I'm ever at someone's house, I fix it for them. Rolling top back is stupid. When you go to rip off a few pieces, the whole roll can come flying out at you, and its harder to access. Tidiness be damned, that's a made up attribute anyway. All of the hotels make rolling top forward look tidy as hell by folding up the squares all pretty.


June 29th, 2012 at 11:28 AM ^

Date Opponent / Event Location W/L
9/1/2012 vs. Navy Dublin, Ireland W
9/8/2012 vs. Purdue Notre Dame, Ind. W
9/15/2012 at Michigan State East Lansing, Mich. L
9/22/2012 vs. Michigan Notre Dame, Ind. L
10/6/2012 vs. Miami Chicago, Ill. W
10/13/2012 vs. Stanford Notre Dame, Ind. L
10/20/2012 vs. BYU Notre Dame, Ind. W
10/27/2012 at Oklahoma Norman, Okla. L
11/3/2012 vs. Pittsburgh Notre Dame, Ind. W
11/10/2012 at Boston College Chestnut Hill, Mass. W
11/17/2012 vs. Wake Forest Notre Dame, Ind. W
11/24/2012 at USC Los Angeles, Calif. L
? Bowl Game Bowl Site W


June 29th, 2012 at 12:21 PM ^

Your link at -------> keeps giving me this:


Oops! Google Chrome could not find


  • Access a cached copy of mgoblogstore.­com/­products/­view/­3946/­2042


Not a problem for me because I already have an issue ordered, but might be hurting your sales with others.


June 29th, 2012 at 1:34 PM ^

I just wanted to see the graphic enlarged, and it error'd me. So to check I did it on the MS computer on Chrome, and..that.

Edit: not so great on IE either-


Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage



What you can try:






More information



June 29th, 2012 at 6:58 PM ^

Ah. You're getting trapped by our Geiger counter. When you click you're momentarily redirected to the Doubleclick counter, just long enough to register as a click. It happens on all the ad spots so we can tell our sponsors how many clicks they got. Or charge by clicks. I can't turn one off without the others.

Also there isn't a larger size. I made that quickly in GiMP. I'll take suggestions.


June 29th, 2012 at 1:37 PM ^

Who else do we know that goes by two different identities.....Seth....or is that Misopogon?  It's so else could that guy fool the blog that they were the same guy...unless he was on the inside. Misopogon is Seth is Wolverine in a Bag is Roll Damn Tide is Finkel is Einhorn.

I feel dirty. I need a shower.