Dear Diary, Beat Ohio

Submitted by Seth on November 25th, 2011 at 5:31 PM


Winner gets a box canyon. And a FLAG! (I think. I've only seen the first 2 seasons)

Author identity reminder: Seth=Misopogon. Misopogon=Seth. Everyone else was using their names, so hi. Apologies for any confusion.

Gratuitous promotion of my thing again: Adopt a Shelter is a week from Saturday. Last chance if you want to help. I got a photographer (Thanks Scott!) Also thank you to everyone who has donated gifts so far—Thanksgiving guests were remarking at the awesome pile of loot, which led to lots of bragging about the blog all night. WIN! Bigger win for the kids.



Also I left out Lordfoul's HFT. /Update.

Scouting Ohio: They are in totally different colors than we are; therefore they are evil and must be stopped. For this we turn to Blue Team Arbor Gulch Commander Leonard L. Church.

2643191: Weekly scouts, report in! Brhino! BlueSeoul Maize_in_Spartyland! THE_KNOWLEDGE! Enjoy Life! Wolverine In Exile! ST3! stubob! oriental andrew! Jeff! Lanyard Program! Report!

ALL: Here!

Church: Some of you have been charged with scouting the enemy and determining his weaknesses. What are your findings?

Brhino: Sir, we analyzed the performance of known Buckeyes versus common enemies and found them quite lacking on all fronts, though one of those was in part due to a complete Bauserman malfunction.

Church: Can we recreate this malfunction?

Brhino: Not likely sir. We do have reports of mysterious markings of unknown origin on the individual known as Braxton, but Gordon Gee assured us that every guy on the team with ink who hasn't been caught yet is completely innocent, and concluded that no further investigation is necessary.

Church:Thank you. BlueSeoul! Did you learn anything, or did you just spend all week on the front page making comparisons between Fickell and Adam Sandler?

BlueSeoul: We found much, sir, and may I say your rendering has improved dramatically over successive versions of the Halo series.

Church: Your findings.

BlueSeoul: Well I watched seven games, and wrote two bumped diaries on recent rounds versus Penn State and versus Purdue, both losses. They have an extensive arsenal and much talent, but they also lack any sort of intelligence.

Church: You mean they don't have any spies?

BlueSeoul: No, I mean they're a bunch of dumbfucks who jump around randomly and run each other over with the Warthog, or the Puma, or whatever you call that Brewster guy.

Church: Good work man. I would give you another MGoCommendation but that might get you promoted above me some day and I can't have that. Maize in Spartyland!

MiS: Well you know I track upsets but I don't think Ohio's got what it takes. They're basically Nebraska with better players and dumber coaches.

Church: Good. Future dude:



Church: 'dot Yes' what?


yes, sir.

Church: What have you discovered?

THE_KNOWLEDGE: Michigan will win, and win a BCS game. THE_KNOWLEDGE called Urban Meyer. TOP FRIEND announcement coming soon. This is all very important.

Church: Excellent. The rest of you, give me the bullets:

  • Yesman2221: Michigan hockey should beat Northeastern and Union but that would entail scoring actual goal things.
  • Enjoy Life: The curve finally went in the right direction (since B1G season started). Special teams turnovers for all of the points!ST3's Inside the Box Score: Lolcats! Gibbons 1/2 on 42-yarders this week. Josh Furman blocked a punt. Lolcats!
  • Oriental Andrew's Bowl Projectsions: Ohhh sugar sugar, da nah nah nah nah nah. Vs. the Cougars, da nah nah nah nah nah.
  • Wolverine In Exile's BCS Standings: Chaos!
  • Stubob's Ugly Game of the Week: Say this with me: Eastern Michigan Eagles: bowl eligible? (They lost to NIU today and have two I-AA schools so 6-6=no bowl)
  • Jeff's Pick Six: Brooklyn Blue is still on top. His six are Oklahoma, Stanford, VT, MSU, USC, and Houston. If that Sugar prediction comes true the guys behind him can catch up.
  • Lanyard Program's mini-program has supplanted all other mini programs for two important reasons. First, it's slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words BEAT OHIO printed in large friendly letters on its cover.
  • Of Chrisesous Logical Danger moved the Argh Denard picture page.

Church: In appreciation for all of their hard work this season, the hardworking weekly guys are your co-Diarists of the Week. Next we will move on to a wallpaper and some good stuff on the board, but first, jumping fest.




Top left: monuMental. Top right and bottom left: MZone. Bottom-right: mikoyan.

Best of the Board:

What, other than people responding "Beat Ohio!" to everything? Okay a few things:


HT WolverineInABag. 2012 Ohio DE Adolphus Washington dropped Michigan from his consideration awhile ago, and this quote from thumbnailhis Ohio State commitment interview with 247 can tell you why:

“It’s the education part,” Washington continued. “I know all these schools athletically can offer me the same thing. The academic support at Ohio State, there is no way you can fail. Even if you’re giving minimal effort there is no way you can fail.”

Somebody ought to look and see if this is true. How many guys have failed out from Ohio State in the last five years or so? All I know is that the last time a Michigan kid said something like this he was very shortly standing outside the team hotel with his bags packed and his collegiate career in Ann Arbor over.


Texas A&M's move to the SEC gets him out of big bro's shadow. Would you want to give up the rivalry? It might make life easier I guess, but ultimately no: I want to play the Spartans and beat them every year. I'd be happy, however, if they left for the MAC.


MichiganPhotoRod provides a guide if you're planning to visit the final resting places of Schembechler, Yost, and Ufer.


There is 01.anthony.carter more day until the day of days.


Six Zero

November 25th, 2011 at 6:01 PM ^

the pride of Mike Hart,
the tenacity of LaMarre Woodley,
the swagger of Charles Woodson,
the confidence of Desmond Howard,
the magic of Anthony Carter...

and the passion of the old man himself, Glenn "Bo" Schembechler.



November 25th, 2011 at 9:41 PM ^

oh gorgeous Borges allow us not to err in passing to those unworthy to intercept us and deliver us from I formation man ball runs which lead us to oblivion. Most holy Mattison we beseech thee to  change the defensive fronts often and cast the OSU offense into hell (why not?). Most Hokey Hoke please do not impede the efforts of  we who seek to win. And may all wake up to the reality of Modern Ball competition in the Big Ten (ie Urban Meyer) Amen.


November 25th, 2011 at 9:44 PM ^

"...has supplanted all other guides for two important reasons. First, it's slightly cheaper. And second, it has the words BEAT OHIO printed in large, friendly letters on its cover."
Beard-hater for all of the points