BlogPoll Ballot Week 4... Official: ITLAP Day Edition

Submitted by Brian on September 21st, 2005 at 12:10 AM

Hyyyyaaaaaaarrrr! It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day, me hearties, and by the black beast of the South Pacific, 'tis not a day to miss if you've got a vehicle for public expresssion mighty boat of spoutin' landlubber nonsense. Which I does.

(Tip 'o the pirate cap to Golden Tornado, if ye be curious.)

So, here there be gold in the form of a BlogPoll ballot, carefully considered from stem to stern, from middenmast to plain midden, from hook to parrot, eteckera and so forth and so on. Hyyyaaaaaarrrr!!!! Avast!

A note on me polling philosoporpoise: we're about 1/4 of the way through the season, so me ballot is 1/4th a season grade for these teams and 3/4ths a projection on how good I think these teams are, so the "you-beat-X, you're-higher-than-X" thing has walked the plank(!). Hyyyarrrr! The plank! Since it is the opinionporpoise of Blackbeard the Bearded and Hookeye the Hook-eyed and Flouty McGillicudy the No Nickname Applicable that Michigan is a 9-2, 8-3 team now and that ND's win over Michigan was no more likely than Ahab finally harpoonin' that great white Fulmer and that ND is probably going to be 8-3 if the moons align into a sea wench of becomley power, they be distant specks in the spyglass of the Michigan crow's nest, if you catch my hyyyaaarrrrr!!! Avast!

Rank Team Snark
1 Southern Cal As obvious as Blackbeard's nickname.
2 Texas Hyyyaarr! Rice!
3 Florida Aye, aye, it was brutal, but it was a two-score win over the preseason SEC favorite and they outplayed them, unlike LSU vs. ASU and VT vs. NCST.
4 LSU In port this week.
5 Virginia Tech Boarded Ohio and slaughtered the fools. May has well have been in port.
6 Arizona State 773 yards? What foul voodoo is this? The Daily Northwestern sums it up: "Welcome to a game of EA Sports' NCAA Football 2006, courtesy of Arizona State, with gameplay set on "beginner" and Northwestern playing the part of the slaughtered CPU opponent."
7 Louisville Harpooned some Beaver and will traipse about like Drake until the BCS game. Any loss and they walk the plank! Hyyaarrr! The plank!
8 Georgia May has well have been in port against ULM.
9 Ohio State Another ugly ffensive (sic typo, no O! Ha!) game, but the SDSU ffense was just that, playing like a fresh pup faced with his first port harlot: one flurry of exciting activity and then long, awkward silence.
10 Tennessee I pity the fool who doesn't run 8YPC Gerald Riggs. Hyyaarr! Mr. T is a pirate!
11 Purdue Avast, a close game against peglegged Arizona, but harpoon them they did, though the pass coverage is no better than Silver's foul brew.
12 Florida State Hyyyaaarr! Sunk the HMS O'Brien with a defense remiscent of a great white's gaping maw. OSU '02 and Michigan '97 did it, why not FSU?
13 Michigan State Aye, it's a mighty boat, imposing with all those cannons, but it tends to spring leaks and sink to the bottom with surprising regularity. When will it happen again? (Hopefully in two weeks. Avast!)
14 Michigan Functional drydock against EMU.
15 NC State Functional drydock against EKU.
16 Alabama Did indeed shove USC (not that USC) off the plank (the plank!) more easily than Georgia did and are showing signs of offensive life, but it's crowded in the middle here, Warren.
17 Miami Squeezed by Clemson--not the Miami of old, which was a ship that virtually guaranteed you would end up in Davy Jones' locker at the mere hint of its flags on the horizon.
18 Georgia Tech Hyyaaaarr! Is viral meningitis anything like syphillis?
19 Minnesota Functional drydock against FAU.
20 Iowa State Hyaarr!!!
21 Notre Dame Aye, much joy when the becollared ones sank meekly to the bottom.
22 Boston College Gave the Bowden a full salvo but came up short.
23 UCLA Avast! Hyyaarr! I'm tired of this!
24 Clemson Beat A&M, barely lost to Miami, beat A&M. Nestled here for the moment.
25 Texas A&M Drydock against SMU.

Dropped Out: Cal (#25), Texas Tech(#22)

Games I Saw: Michigan-EMU, ND-MSU, three way flipfest between BC-FSU, UW-UNC, UT-UF.

(Comments on poll delivered in pirate lingo get special precedence.)

Update: Moved Clemson back in since a triple OT loss to Miami isn't too bad and they've proven a lot more than Texas Tech at this point.