On Being An Old Man With A Precious Lawn Comment Count

Brian

Tomorrow at 8 PM Adidas and Michigan and Notre Dame will have an under-the-lights unveiling of the uniforms both will wear when the first night game in Michigan Stadium history goes down. That's odd: marketing 101 is "when you have bad news, release it on Friday at 5 PM." Michigan is treating their great unveiling like they're firing their coach for massive NCAA violations.

On the other hand, maybe it's not so odd. Yesterday the M-Den momentarily posted what looked like the official thing:

If that's what you're deploying, 8 PM isn't late enough. Broadcast the announcement from the Chinese factory where they'll be made at 4 AM Eastern.

The M-Den twitter feed later posted a three-part item expressing regret for the "mistake" that obviously failed to address whether or not those were the real McCoy. They likely are. Tom pointed out the close-up teaser image has the exact same M the mistakenly posted jersey does. If they're different, they're not much different.

Tomorrow we'll enter the ranks of schools that dress up like clowns for a little bit of money from a shoe company. Notre Dame will as well. I'll make some sarcastic comments, privately think anyone I see wearing one of the jerseys is a total sellout, and move on. This September we'll watch Clownz Faceoff 2011 and life will go on. It's not really a big deal. Everyone does it, and traditionalists sigh, and recruits say they're excited.

So why does this make me want to buy a shotgun, rocking chair, and lifetime supply of lawn fertilizer?

Well, there was a way to do this that would not give people hives. It did not require the assistance of a crack team of uniform designers, and it didn't have stripes conjured from one of their fever-dreams.

mel-anthony

The numbers on the helmets (and the different wing pattern on them), block Ms on the socks and shoulders, and overall retro stylings of the mid-60s (like gray face-masks) would have provided a distinctive, historically accurate look. (Doctor Saturday pointed out that it would have been a look from an era when Michigan and Notre Dame were in one of their periodic snits, but whatever.)

It wouldn't have been much different. It would have been cool, though:

bill-yearby

It would have been a genuine callback to another era of Michigan football. They could have brought out some former players, celebrated a Rose Bowl win, whatever. If they're going to do that in the Franken-uniforms they'll have to bring out a nighmarish assemblage of Horace Prettyman's arms and shoulders stapled to Bill Yearby's torso and head; the lower body will be a cyborg entity from 2211 that shoots postgame celebration laserz. The legs will stop at the knees because bony undead horror robots of 2211 come hovering or they don't come at all.

This bothers me because it makes it obvious that honoring the program's past doesn't crack the top several reasons they'll put the stripes on this fall, falling behind at least "money," "making Adidas happy," and "allowing Dave Brandon to 'create the future'." My money teat is easy to milk, but not that easy. I won't put on a Big Chill shirt with an Arby's logo on it and I'm not buying whatever that is above.

This makes me an old man but it also strikes me how stupid the corporate culture Dave Brandon comes from is. At a consumer-facing, mid-sized, publicly-traded corporation it's all about three months from now when you report your numbers and the stock price goes up or down and you're a hero or an idiot. Once companies go public they slowly lose the distinctive characteristics that made them successful in the first place and become a collection of generic suits*. The suits get paid exorbitant amounts of money to trade long-term goodwill for numbers that will allow another set of suits to increase the exorbitant amount of money they are getting paid.

The best example of how this doesn't have to happen is privately-owned Chik-Fil-A, which is still closed every Sunday for religious reasons and is so loved by Southerners that when the corporation bought the naming rights to the Peach Bowl it was generally regarded as an improvement. These are correlated factors.

These days a lot of tech companies are remaining private longer than they would have in the past—Facebook is the best example—in order to avoid the relentless make-your-numbers effect of being a public company. It seems like Michigan is announcing its IPO Friday night.

*[Once you get to the behemoth side of the scale you can maintain identity via monopoly: Google and Apple are distinctive entities that appear to have ethoses (ethii?) other than making money hand over fist; they can probably have these because they are making money hand over fist.]

(HT on the 60s uniform picks to "cutter," denizen of Michigan messageboards everywhere.)

Comments

Ed Shuttlesworth

June 9th, 2011 at 8:56 PM ^

I sense that it goes without saying, but let's be clear:  the stripes aren't on the jersey because they happened to be on a random long-sleever donned by one of Horace Prettyman's buddies; the stripes are on the jersey because stripes are adidas' (**) schtick. 

And it's the stripes that make it so corporate and fugly and ridiculous; you'd hear nary a peep if they'd just grafted the sweater of the guy far right, second row of the 1901 juggernaut onto a modern template.

Once he made the silly decision not to do an actual, you know, throwback, Brandon had a blank canvas; about the only requirement was that there be some blue in there somewhere ... and he came up with this.   It's mind-boggling to think that he sat in a meeting a few weeks back, espied this thing and said -- out loud, no less -- "Oh yeah, that's the one."

Ick.

(**) Or, to Dave Brandon, "my corporate partner."

The FannMan

June 9th, 2011 at 11:16 PM ^

So, what happened to the all the Brandon's "Pimp-Hand" posts from last fall?  Looks like he is using both hands to grab money.  I wonder what corporate sponsor's logo he'll put on the jersey or if he'll save that for the helmet?

Nice post Brian.  I am resigned to seeing this kind of crap more and more.  And make no mistake - it is pure crap.  I also bet that this will back fire on him big time.  Most fans have no idea this is happening.  I hope Ann Arbor Torch and Pitch Fork offers a senior discount.

I can only hope that NDs look worse - but that is not possible. 

 

jaws4141

June 10th, 2011 at 8:52 AM ^

Adidas doesn't market Michigan as well as Nike did.  I like Eastbay and when Michigan was with Nike they were all over in that catalog.  Now that they are with Adidias they aren't even in some of the catalogs.  Also I recall more UofM shirts and hats at sportinggood stores when Michigan was with Nike.  That Bill Martin fucked up everything when he was AD.  Adidias paid more money directly to the university, but the difference probably doesn't make up for the loss in marketing and the NIke appeal.  Nike stuff is way cooler as well.

GrahamTastic

June 10th, 2011 at 9:31 AM ^

I'll say it again--Michigan was proud to get the former CEO of a pizza company whose immediate ad campaign under new leadership was 'Our product is the worst in the country, but we're working on it.."

jaws4141

June 10th, 2011 at 12:43 PM ^

David Brandon, chairman and CEO of

Domino’s Pizza, is creating positive energy and

growing profits, through an upbeat approach

to leadership and an overall message to his

team members in the form of the company

vision: “Exceptional franchisees and team

members on a mission to be the best pizza

delivery company in the world!” Brandon has

led this charge at Domino’s since March 1999,

when he was recruited to succeed the

company’s founder after his retirement and

sale of the company to Bain Capital. Upon

joining the company, Brandon announced

plans to grow sales and profits by honoring the company’s roots of

efficient menu preparation and delivery, while overlaying a team spirit of

“smart hustle” and innovation. Profits have increased dramatically under

his leadership through improved customer satisfaction scores, lower

employee turnover and product improvement. Prior to Domino’s, Brandon

served as chairman, president and CEO of Valassis, an international

marketing services and sales promotion company. Valassis began its

acclaim as one of the 100 Best Companies to Work For in America under

Brandon’s leadership. Brandon is a graduate of the University of

Michigan. He also serves on many corporate, civic and charity boards.

cutter

June 10th, 2011 at 1:08 PM ^

Assuming that the jersey Michigan will be unveiling tonight is the one pictured in MGoBlog and other sources, then I have a recommendation for tonight's presentaiton.

I think we're all largely agreed that the jersey being shown is a composite of a look for the late 1800s/early 1900s along with a Michigan varsity sweater.  All these uniforms, etc. were the inspiration for the design.

What I'd like to see is one or more of the players dressed up as "reenactors" wearing the uniforms that inspired the thowback look Michigan will be wearing against Notre Dame next Septemer.  You put that inviduals or other indivduals next to (I assume) Denard Robinson (and others), who will be modelling the throwback uniform.

I think the majority reaction to the jersey right now is negative.  By showing the old uniforms right next to the new ones, at least people would have an easy and strong visual that puts together the old and the new.  It would certainly be more effective in terms of promoting the jerseys and the "look" than showing, for example, the pictures from the past teams that we've posted here.

David Brandon and his marketing team have had months to plan this.  I imagine it would take awhile to reproduce the older uniforms, but I have very little doubt that there are actual samples in the university's archives, that could be used as a pattern and would provide information on the materials actually used, etc.   It would take a little planning and research, but it could certainly be done.

One final thought about the use of reenactors.  Even though their uniform doesn't look like the throwback, I'd have put someone in the uniform used by the Michigan football team in 1887 to remind everyone that it was the Wolverines who taught Notre Dame how to play football.  See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1887_Michigan_Wolverines_football_team for background information.  It would be a great way to highlight the very simple fact that Michigan's football tradition spans a longer time than Notre Dame's and that the Wolverines taught the Fighting Irish how to play the game in the first place.

edziu

June 10th, 2011 at 4:02 PM ^

Looks like the football jersey version of the doo doo bird.

I don’t get it.  What competitive advantage does playing in one’s jammies hold?

it is a night game, but still...