Alaska Fairbanks Demon Bear Is Back

Submitted by Brian on January 15th, 2010 at 1:18 PM

Um, so Little Bro posted it in the Alaska preview comments. It has fewer than a thousand views on the Youtube so it must be under the radar still. This lack of aggression will not stand.

So… yeah… the bear video came into our lives and was fantastic. There is another. I know what you're thinking: this can only be a disappointment. That's what I thought. I was so very wrong.

Here's a youtube comment:

Is this plot line taken from Scientology scripture?

Now you watch.

Wasn't this the plot of Battlestar Galactica, except awesome?

Comments

Seth

January 15th, 2010 at 3:33 PM ^

You see the ship in the ice, and you're like, "Oh cool, ancient awakened frozen lightsaber space bear is going to use his lightsaber hockey stick to save the ship!" Then he cuts it in half, and goes on to destroy the world in an F16. I gotta admit -- I didn't see that coming.

MGrad

January 15th, 2010 at 3:35 PM ^

We need to either bow down to, or kill all polar bears right now. They are definitely some violent mother f-ers. I think we now understand what led to the Exxon Valdez...some freaking bear chopped it in half in a fit of underwater rage.

Shaqsquatch

January 15th, 2010 at 4:59 PM ^

Did anyone else just hear Apollo shouting "STARBUCK!!!!!" in their heads as he flew into the wormhole and his ship blew? More like Battlestar than I'd care to admit.

Mr. Robot

January 15th, 2010 at 5:04 PM ^

This is an imminent terrorist threat. The Nanooks should be immediately imprisoned without bail and forced to forfeit their games while we attempt to stop that bear from destroying the world.

shikselover

January 15th, 2010 at 5:16 PM ^

By blowing up the "Axis of Evil" of ND, OSU and MSU, Alaska Fairbanks has demonstrated that they have their priorities straight, and are on the side of the just.

Bigger question I have is: what the heck did those three schools do to piss them off?

03 Blue 07

January 15th, 2010 at 5:26 PM ^

I am weeping tears of joy. This is just marvelous. Polar bear as fighter pilot? Yes. Polar bear flying through space? Yes. Polar bear blowing up volcano? Yes. Polar bear destroying some sort of freighter that disturbed its peaceful ice-encased hibernation? Yes. 80's music? Yes. Lasers? Yes.

I realize that the "polar bear" is actually a "nanook." However, it is sweeter to think of a plain old polar bear doing these various and sundry activities of awesome meatiness.

Chunks the Hobo

January 15th, 2010 at 5:35 PM ^

Anyone else wondering what the 2010-11 Alaska Fairbanks season will bring? Destruction of the whole solar system? Creation of a black hole that swallows the entire universe? Man, I simultaneously can't wait to find out / dread the future like a motherfucker.

might and main

January 15th, 2010 at 6:48 PM ^

that vaporizes the evil triumvirate, this is very good.

The bear is sending us a signal, as in the Hunt for Red October. He is on our side now but we must guide him in. Brian! Send him one ping only. And then all our games with the bear must end in 0-0 ties. God save the bear (and Ann Arbor!).

Michigan Arrogance

January 15th, 2010 at 7:10 PM ^

This is the greatest thing ever conceived by man. Fire? The Wheel? Relativity? No. Space Polar Bear FTW.

PS: the awakening of the bear by the tanker probably traces back to the original 1951 Godzilla movie.

jabberwock

January 15th, 2010 at 11:16 PM ^

So after the 64th time watching this video I notice something:

This video is an action packed tour de force of testosterone-laced, ursine awesomeness (obviously) . . . but only for the first two minutes.

From about the 2:00 mark all the way to the end (at 3:05) it's just the rotating A, the blue flames, and Metallica (punctuated by random bear growls).

So what is supposed to be going on during that last 1:05?

The music is blaring, the arena is rocking, crowd must be pumped beyond belief!

So what is going on? What are people doing?

.

Masturbating, thats what.

allansrule

January 16th, 2010 at 12:51 AM ^

A polar bear, F-16s, and Metallica. I would need a cigarette after that.
The polar bear could have just etched a digital map to the All Spark on the vessel and went about his business.

Zone Left

January 16th, 2010 at 12:13 AM ^

I happen to disagree with Oops Pow, Kenny Loggins is always awesome.

* A Russian icebreaker commanded by Stereotypical Evil Russian KGB guy from every Clancy novel ever is on a mission to find the powers of the mythical(??) NUCLEAR SPACE BEAR.
* THE BEAR IS AWAKENED
* GROWLS AND LIGHTNING SHOOTS FROM HIS EYES
* EMERGES FROM ICE AND DESTROYS ICEBREAKER WITH RADIOACTIVE GLOWY HOCKEY STICK
* PUTS ON SUNGLASSES!!!!!!
* FLIES GIANT F-16
* DESTROYS MICHIGAN STATE, OHIO STATE (YES!!!!!!!!!!), AND NOTRE DAME WITH MISSILES. THIS BEAR IS THE GREATEST THING SINCE THE IRISH CREATED BEER.
* MAKES KENNY LOGGINS MUSIC AWESOME
* DROPS BOMB IN VOLCANO FOR SOME REASON
* BLOWS UP THE EARTH
* FLIES INTO SPACE
* TIME TRAVEL? I've lost track at this point

The FannMan

January 16th, 2010 at 11:07 AM ^

The sunglasses while flynig a jet fighter (who needs a helmet?) is waaaay cool and seemingly under-appreciated by the board. It is the best part of the video, except for the MSU-ND-OSU destruction sequence.

One question I have - What happened to the Bear's two wingmen, err, wingbears? There were three of them flying and only one emerged from the earth's destruction. What happened to the others? Were they killed in the explosion(s) thus adding to our hero's righteous rage? Have they gone to other parts of the universe to spread the great Polar Bear Empire? I WANT A SEQUEL!!!

harmon98

January 21st, 2010 at 11:29 PM ^

holy crap. the video lives no more. needed another fix and youtube tells me the vid was removed by the user....

what gives?

that was the template to the promised land man! damn.