Alaska Fairbanks Demon Bear Is Back

Submitted by Brian on January 15th, 2010 at 1:18 PM

Um, so Little Bro posted it in the Alaska preview comments. It has fewer than a thousand views on the Youtube so it must be under the radar still. This lack of aggression will not stand.

So… yeah… the bear video came into our lives and was fantastic. There is another. I know what you're thinking: this can only be a disappointment. That's what I thought. I was so very wrong.

Here's a youtube comment:

Is this plot line taken from Scientology scripture?

Now you watch.

Wasn't this the plot of Battlestar Galactica, except awesome?



January 15th, 2010 at 1:26 PM ^

I can't figure out what is the best part, the light saber hockey stick or the fact that he blew up East Lansing, Columbus, and South Bend but skipped Ann Arbor.

More explosions == more awesome


January 15th, 2010 at 1:39 PM ^

Hire the guy who did this NOW!!! We need this awesomeness on our scoreboard!! This is more important than a silly Linebacker Coach! Who needs one when you have a Polar Bear flying an F-16 F'ing. Shit. Up.

BTW did you notice the little touch of the F-16 getting buffeted by the shock wave after the Polar Bear of Destruction or Iceman Bear (your choice) blew up the f'n earth!

Tim Waymen

January 15th, 2010 at 1:50 PM ^

It's amazing, but is anyone else here at least a little disturbed (if not awed) by it? These polar bears carry out terrorist acts for crying out loud, and then blow up our planet and flee through a wormhole! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here! And in the name of what? Intergalactic polar bear jihad? Maybe environmentalism by destroying the ship, but blowing up the world defeats the purpose. And btw, they sort of stole that method of blowing up the world from Austin Powers 1.

In any event, Alaska-Fairbanks is now my favorite school other than Michigan. The polar bear terrorists blow up MSU, OSU, and ND--all of our rivals--and spare us. Well, at least until they blow up the planet, but I'd rather be collateral damage than a target. It's the thought that counts.

Foote Fetish

January 15th, 2010 at 1:56 PM ^

On the one hand, I'm in ecstacy. On the other hand, I know that nothing I can do with my life will ever amount of that much awesome.

I don't know what to do with myself now.


January 15th, 2010 at 2:00 PM ^

I need to clarify a few things here. The bear obviously smashed the ship with his light saber hockey stick. We know this much. He then dropped bombs on MSU, which, cool. He then blew up the Earth by dropping bombs into volcanoes, plausible. This was then followed up by him incinerating his own plane in a wormhole?

Does this get the 100% Pure Columbian Awesome tag, because it should?


January 15th, 2010 at 2:25 PM ^

From what I can understand of the "plot," this polar bear is awoken by a tanker floating by his hibernation chamber. Obviously he's not happy about having to wake up, so he pretty much unleashes his rage on the world. (solid Michael Bay inspired introduction)

He starts off by destroying the boat that woke him with a glow-in-the-dark hockey stock (explosion #1), and then sending 2 missiles to 3 separate CCHA schools (explosions #2,3,4). Since that really didn't do his anger justice, he then attempts to blow up a volcano cause polar bears for some reason really hate volcanoes (explosions #5,6,7). Since this has MB written all over it, obviously when you blow up a volcano, that leads to the destruction of the entire world (explosions #9,10,11,12,13).

Thankfully there is a time warp that takes him back to Fairbanks (which of course destroys his ship in the process = explosion #14), but since he's still a little peeved about not getting his six months rest in, he decides to blow up the goal (explosion #15).

15 explosions and a plot that makes little to no sense... keep up the good work Mr. Bay!


January 15th, 2010 at 2:39 PM ^

Not one, but two ridonkulous videos about a bear with a proclivity towards blowing s--t up with a hockey stick? Someone in Hollywood's digital effects sector is bored.

Wolverine In Exile

January 15th, 2010 at 2:53 PM ^

and I am now awed beyond all rational thought.

It's kind of like the video from "The Ring"... you watch it and next thing you know mountain sized animated polar bears are coming out of your television to vaporize you with lightsaber hockey sticks.

And then the next person watches it.

Wolverine In Exile

January 15th, 2010 at 3:14 PM ^

So the original video was from the 2007-2008 season, and this is for the 2009-2010 season, so it begs the question:

Where is the 2008-2009 video?

This may institute the biggest worldwide search for a mythical object since Raiders of the Lost Ark.


January 15th, 2010 at 4:00 PM ^

The original video was from 06-07. According to the description, they just substituted the away team's mascot for every game in the video.

Not quite as spectacular as the Space Bear, but this is still rather amusing, and I have to admit, I enjoyed the Batman symbol reconfigured.

Tim Waymen

January 15th, 2010 at 4:31 PM ^

That belching noise the bear makes as it is waking up from hibernation might be the funniest sound ever, and the animation is hilariously bad. The people in the hockey program there seem to have a great sense of humor, unless it is actually taking itself too seriously.