Need Help Dealing With Monday Morning Sparty
To be honest, my greatest expectation in any M football season is that we beat MSU. As the ubiquitous enemy, a loss to these troglodytes is particularly painful. It is the one time each year that waiters, stock clerks, and police officers (I am not using hyperbole here) can thumb their noses at us. Now that we have lost in horrific fashion, we need, as a group, to devise rebuttals to Monday morning Sparty ( a new breed around here) that will help them to understand their rightful place in the socioeconomic hierarchy in this great state. Suggestions should follow.
October 9th, 2010 at 8:58 PM ^
pay them for the pizza. That should get rid of them.
October 9th, 2010 at 8:59 PM ^
Sig Sauer P226 9mm with 15-shot clip. Just wear it in an open shoulder holster. No need to brandish it. That will be all you need to say.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:07 PM ^
I prefer the Glock 27 .40S&W with the extended clip for my pinky. But hey, to each his own.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:07 PM ^
I thought the whole point of this was to differentiate ourselves from annoying State fans.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:06 PM ^
that's probably something unexpected and classy. Don't feed into Sparty just be classy and congratulate those guys. You never want to be Meltdown Guy. Or oh yeah well my GPA was . 3.xxx Guy or just for that I'm going to fire you and your Dad Guy
October 9th, 2010 at 9:04 PM ^
Tell 'em to Super Size it and then wait for your order.
/s
Seriously, just remember that college football is cyclical and this is the first extended downtime for UM in decades. They'll still have a good season, and tell any Spartan fans to focus on their team and you'll focus on your own.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:05 PM ^
There is a way to win and there is a way to lose. Congratulate them on their win, acknowledge that beating Michigan 3 times in a row is a great accomplishment (which is a compliment to UM too) and get on with your day. They have a good team this year and an easy schedule. This might be the only year in those fans' lifetimes that they see an MSU b10 championship or rose bowl appearance.
Let them have their day, we've had ours and will have ours again and again. Whining, making excuses and reminding them about U of chicago having more b10 titles than them will do nothing but make it worse. You know and they know that you're better than them, nothing needs to be said.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:09 PM ^
Yeah, you're right. The hard part is that our secretary is a Sparty dropout trollop who really enjoys dwelling on these things. Plus, to compound the fact, I will probably not be around at this company long enough (by choice) to take advantage of the cyclical nature of this rivalry. Damn!
October 9th, 2010 at 9:29 PM ^
...avoiding use of the word "trollop" in any interactions with said secretary or other co-workers.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:46 PM ^
How am I going to address her then? Calling her "woman of negotiable affection" will be awkward. I guess "whore" will work OK.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:08 PM ^
Just take it like a man. They do deserve it, but once we get rolling, we will get our share of shoving it down their throats.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:08 PM ^
My strategy for the week is to sit tight and hope they celebrate by holding up a 7-11 with a BB gun. The way Sparty goes these days, it's not such a long shot.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:09 PM ^
October 9th, 2010 at 9:10 PM ^
Call in sick.............all week.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:18 PM ^
365 days.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:10 PM ^
If the Sparty starts acting all crazy just indicate how cool it would be for them to go to their first Rose Bowl since 1988.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:11 PM ^
If it's a woman punch her in the ovaries.
Seriously, they're Sparties they deserve it
October 9th, 2010 at 9:12 PM ^
to burn a couch about it.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:12 PM ^
Take it like a man. Congratulate them on a great game. They didn't win by playing dirty, they won by making plays. Don't be an asshole, let them take care of that.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:12 PM ^
a Spartan fan tries to talk trash to me all I do is write down 1997 and hand it to them. I don't explain it or defend it. I merely just go back to whatever I was doing.
Doesn't work with Ohio State fans for obvious reasons but for Spartans they will either bring up basketball or leave...
October 9th, 2010 at 9:13 PM ^
just came as I payed a bet to a sparty. The bet was a 6 pack of beer and a hat of choice. (MSU hat for him) I gave him 6 assorted beers from fridge (natty lite, natty lite, and 4 natty lites) and i gave him 2 dollars (1 single and 4 quarters) as he was leaing realized he locked his keys in the car, I made him wait outside.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:22 PM ^
Honestly, I have found that most MSU fans bring it up for the sole reason of tormenting you. The easiest and most logical way to handle it is to just show that it doesn't torment you. For example, this was a series of text messages I exchanged with a Spartan fan:
"Haha, you guys are so big headed thinking you can actually win. Denard sucks, who's little brother now?"
"Hey man, yeah you guys played great, I give a lot of kudos to Dantonio and those RB's, man they ran hard. Great game from you guys."
"Oh, yeah, thanks."
The End. I could have argued back and forth and brought up the all time record, etc. But that would just be an instigator for more trash talk. Take the high road, congratulate them on the win, and you're "tormenting" will be over quickly once they realize it doesn't bother you. Trust me. I'm 3-0 right now using this method and I only had to endure the initial statement with no continual idiotic banter.
EDIT: 4-0. Kill them with kindness. It probably gets to them more than they let on.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:31 PM ^
Yeah they really actually hate that I am convinced. Take the persona of being way too focused on Michigan and the rise of their program to get too worried about any one game.
"Yeah good game today. Give your team a world of credit. Now next week, Iowa is going to be great test for the program and where it is at. Looking forward to seeing how Michigan bounces back."
Don't acknowledge any special sense of defeat losing to them and shift the conversation away from their team and the game. It pisses them off.
Remember this, the ones who are running their mouths the most, know the least about football. They see uniforms running around and this is the only game they watch all the way through. Mostly it is their excuse to party. They aren't actually qualified to talk football anyways.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:18 PM ^
...Spartan fans know how badly the UM faithful wanted this game.
My two cents...
Not that anyone here cares, but there are some of us who now resume rooting for Michigan.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:43 PM ^
or kill them with a shovel. your call.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:02 PM ^
That is a classic Doug/Arthur moment. See ketchup argument as well.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:31 PM ^
haha, as is the always classic doug/danny water purification licenses meltdown. probably the greatest tv meltdown ever.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:23 PM ^
Acknowledge that Michigan's defense has been suspect all season and Michigan State, to their credit, took advantage of that. They called a strong offensive game plan that exploited the weaknesses they saw on tape and that's what good teams do. We'll play it again next year.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:24 PM ^
I'd just let this knowledge dictate your internal energy: We'll be back. As for today, a couple plays here and there and they are the ones all down in the dumps tonight.
If you keep that in mind, you won't meltdown, and you'll be indifferent to all the talk. Unless you choose to find a cave to hole up in, you'll have to deal with them. So best to practice healthy habits of thinking.
Gonna be a long year otherwise.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:31 PM ^
Just be cool. It's easy to win with grace; losing with grace takes more character. Don't let people bait you into being the asshole who can't handle defeat.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:19 PM ^
Best post of the bunch... IMHO.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:34 PM ^
Just knowing that Michigan is better in every way, except in the football stadium on this very day, should be enough to help you achieve a zen-like calmness.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:21 PM ^
Sure. I'd suggest not picking up the newspaper tomorrow too.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:37 PM ^
I'd need some advice too, but strangely I have no Michigan State coworkers at my aerospace engineering job. Imagine that...
October 9th, 2010 at 9:41 PM ^
We're not your rival.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:51 PM ^
So why are you posting here? Why don't you post on your "rival's" site? Or, shock, enjoy a win against another meaningless opponent on your schedule?
October 9th, 2010 at 10:13 PM ^
I post here because I like an alternative perspective. Have for weeks, since the season began.
I've admitted from the start that MSU's schedule is more than accomodating... but you know what, I consider the past two weeks quality wins. (Unless you consider Michigan to be a "meaningless opponent"?) Robinson was running through everyone. Don't devalue stopping him in his own house.
Give some credit... it won't hurt.
Personally, I hope all future MSU-UM games are between ranked teams. I know it didn't turn out like you all wanted today, but the lead up this week was awesome. With the new alignment coming, times change.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:51 PM ^
I recommend avoiding the problem of trash talk by congratulating Sparty on the win and then quickly changing the subject to Bama's loss, where Boise State should be ranked, or making sure they put cheese on your burger.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:53 PM ^
See you next year.
October 9th, 2010 at 9:55 PM ^
Congratulate Sparty on the win and admit that we got outplayed.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:12 PM ^
Dont be a homer, tell them they have a pretty damn good team, and they earned the victory. But, it doenst matter what you say, you will hear about how they 'shut down' Denard for the next 365 days...
October 9th, 2010 at 10:18 PM ^
October 9th, 2010 at 10:33 PM ^
To quote the Don Vito Corleone...
"You can act like a man..."
No excuses. They beat us this year but they'll get what is coming to them...
October 9th, 2010 at 10:30 PM ^
You might start by actually attending Michigan.
October 9th, 2010 at 10:49 PM ^
and just state the truth. "The better team won." AND MOVE ON...
October 9th, 2010 at 10:50 PM ^
While we wait for the enlightenment, just be glad you have a life where this is on your radar as something tragic.
October 9th, 2010 at 11:00 PM ^
Nobody ever went to Michigan because they got rejected for admission to MSU.
(Yeah, yeah, I know. YOU really were admitted to Michigan but CHOSE to go to MSU. About that bridge in Brooklyn...)
October 9th, 2010 at 11:45 PM ^