The Woolfolk Hangover, or: Bohemian Crapsody
SO DID EVERYONE HAVE FUN LAST NIGHT CAN I GET A HELL YEA
YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH GIVE ME A FUCKIN' OTTER
GET PUMPED IT'S AUGUST AND HENRI'S ALREADY OUT IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A FALLLLLLLLLL
THE DEPTH CHART AT CORNER
1. DONOVAN WARREN
2. TROY WOOLFOLK
3. TLOY WOORFORK
4. JUSTIN TURNER
5. DEMAR DORSEY
6. BOUBACAR CISSOKO
7. THIS GUY FRUITLESSLY CHASING A 235 POUND INDIANA FRESHMAN (NOT THE WHITE ONE)
8. THIS GUY WHO TILTS HIS HEAD IN A NON-CONFIDENCE INSPIRING WAY
9. RICHARD NIXON
10. SOME OTHER FRESHMEN, THIS ONE A QUARTERBACK
11. AND THIS ONE SPORTING A NAME CONFUSINGLY SIMILAR TO THAT OF HIS BROTHER, WHO IS 249 POUNDS AND WILL PROBABLY BE PLAYING THE SAME POSITION THIS FALL
HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHICH HATS ARE UGLY YET
12. NIXON AGAIN
13. JAMES ROGERS
…WAIT, SERIOUSLY, SAMMY DAVIS JUNIOR?
August 18th, 2010 at 12:55 PM ^
I really, really appreciate it.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:02 PM ^
That really sucks and I'm sure things are sad and surreal for you right now.
My sincere condolences.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:18 PM ^
At least we know he can get his hands up when the ball's in the air.
Although, when I did a Google search for a picture of Tricky Dick, this came up, too. Read into it what you will:
August 18th, 2010 at 12:19 PM ^
Great support of the team. Glad to see you basically insult every remaining cornerback on the team. I would throw my waterbottle at you right now if given the chance.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:22 PM ^
Water! I get it. Good one.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:31 PM ^
Wotter Bottle. Famous accessory of Henri's cousin Henry, the Otter of Hydration.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:14 PM ^
You are sitting on a gold mine there. You know, if that doctor thing doesn't end up working out.
August 18th, 2010 at 2:19 PM ^
...dude! I'm still lobbying McGee to let RichRod switch you from offense to corner. You have great range, catch everything thrown in your direction, and are incredibly durable. And from what I hear, the offense won't require your services this year.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:21 PM ^
Can we get a t-shirt with Henri on the front and "YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH GIVE ME A FUCKIN' OTTER" on the back in the MGoStore? Please?
August 18th, 2010 at 1:01 PM ^
I'd buy a Henri shirt, but I don't want to fund Brian's alcoholism. It's like giving money to bums at this point, you know he's just going to spend it on booze.
August 18th, 2010 at 3:54 PM ^
I got no problem funding the habit. But you do make a good point.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:47 PM ^
Here ya go...
August 18th, 2010 at 3:53 PM ^
Excellent.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:21 PM ^
This post needs to be accompanied by maniacal laughter.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:38 PM ^
Who negbanged this? It's brilliant.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:46 PM ^
seriously how old is Cullen Christian in that photo?
August 18th, 2010 at 1:01 PM ^
I was making progress talking myself into "this won't be so bad," but knowing we are now relying on Todd Bridges I am back to square one.
August 18th, 2010 at 3:33 PM ^
...Cullen?
August 18th, 2010 at 12:25 PM ^
I didn't know that...I'm not worried anymore.
But really, not the Muppets I wanted to see in August ("BUTTTT MOOOOIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"). And while expected, I really never want to see that Otter again.
Does anyone else have Brian on watch today? And do we have a progression of leadership if he, well....
August 18th, 2010 at 12:28 PM ^
Maybe the poor defense is only a basketball thing?
August 18th, 2010 at 12:30 PM ^
Cullen seems like a confident kid. At least until i saw that picture along with our fearless leader's caption. Maybe he was looking into a crooked mirror while evening out his chapstick, getting ready for the picture, and the photographer tricked him? Yes, that is surely it.
Here's to his play on the field inspiring confidence in us all 17 days from now.
As a sidenote, when you bong ethanol, after the first couple gulps, everythign goes numb, and it gets easier from there.... just in case anyone was wondering...
August 18th, 2010 at 12:30 PM ^
This is worse than that one time I..... oh wait, no... nothing is worse than this.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:32 PM ^
...I can tell you his status updates were both disturbing and many...and that's telling. He was certainly drunk last night.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:33 PM ^
August 18th, 2010 at 12:35 PM ^
This is probably the worst thing to happen since Antonio Bass's knee and Lloyd's Appalachian State loss. Although watching NO 2 Michigan loose to NO 1. Ohio State right before I deployed to Fallujah was pretty bad too.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:49 PM ^
How am I this bad at the Internets?
August 18th, 2010 at 12:50 PM ^
But seeing the team you root for....
August 18th, 2010 at 12:38 PM ^
Unfortunately I dropped and broke my power drill the other day. Man, I can't catch a break.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:47 PM ^
That might have been a break. Because as Other Chris said, power tools and drinking don't go together.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:38 PM ^
to outright fear on any passing down until this stabilizes (if it does). It is one thing to start the season with the "this might be a shaky secondary" to "let's blow it up". TW may not be an All-American, but he is pretty damn solid and the best guy we have playing in the back four. There is really no way to spin this in any way that is positive considering we have not seen much of our frosh class to this point. It is not impossible to start a freshman at DB, it is just better to do so with an experienced bunch around him.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:39 PM ^
When I posted in this thread I was worried about risks, but excited. Well my Kool-Aid hangover is pretty bad today. I sure hope the young guys can step up.
Does anybody else feel that this makes the games with inexperienced QBs must win games (Penn State, Illinois, maybe ND is in that category)? Those are the guys we can rattle by attacking them ...
August 18th, 2010 at 12:40 PM ^
Maybe the silver lining here is that the man who called out Tate has now gone down, and his place on the roster will be filled by the consummate song-and-dance man doing a swinging sideline version of The Victors? Wasn't there a line in a movie that went something like:
Every time Sammy Davis sings
Another QB gets his wings?
Or maybe I'm still delirious...
August 18th, 2010 at 12:41 PM ^
But due to his glass eye, only took away 1/4 of the field.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:51 PM ^
...the smaller error message for BooBoo.
Dang Brian, not all of us get more creative by drinking. Take it slow with us today.
August 18th, 2010 at 12:53 PM ^
An "Of the Decade: Dong Punches" post needs to happen. Let it burn.
August 18th, 2010 at 3:44 PM ^
...Philip Johnson? +1 for you.
August 18th, 2010 at 6:07 PM ^
Yes indeed. MGoArchitectureSchool
August 18th, 2010 at 12:54 PM ^
is showing good form on a tackle wrap.
Head low and to the side, wrap around the mid-section, lift and bring down.
Note: He is looking down at the ball he just popped loose from Nixon's weak grip.
Hold on to the damn ball Nixon!
August 18th, 2010 at 12:54 PM ^
Great post, under the circumstances, Brian. I laughed. Its the best--well, second best, medicine.
Also: I lost my effing shirt. I didnt think we'd see a post out of you until at least three. I have to stop getting suckered into Over bets. Hangovers after Cointreau can be killers.
That said, I will try and attempt to sugarcoat this.........but is a Cullen Christian/JT Floyd CB combo really going to totally suck that much worse than Floyd/Woolfolk would have?
To me, its dicey either way. And, hey if the secondary ends up being like the 8th best in the league, with basically nothing but true frosh, RS Frosh and RS Sophs playing, well thing things might be looking up for the future.
Folks: 9/4 is still arriving. We have a good, young team with some obvious flaws. Lets not bail out just yet. In fact, its ridiculous to do so. The guys have worked way too fucking hard to go Henri the Otter, people, so perk up, enjoy the rest of August and let's get it on on 9/4
UConn is still in big trouble.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:00 PM ^
August 18th, 2010 at 12:55 PM ^
But I actually had this song in my head http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrML6s1wNHk
the translated lyrics fit well i think
August 18th, 2010 at 1:00 PM ^
Maybe I'm blindly optimistic, but there is still time for the depth chart to shake out and the coaches to implement whatever changes they can to compensate for this loss. Imagine if this happened in the second or third game of the year? At that point, you just throw whomever you have off the bench and pray he can hold up for the rest of the year. Sure, you are basically throwing in freshmen and walk-ons, but that was going to be the case irrespective of whether or not TWolf played a down this season.
And with respect to the secondary with or without Woolfolk, it always looked like a weak link, and I always suspected the coaches were implementing whatever schemes they could to cover up this deficiency. sure, Woolfolk back there would be best, but this team is going to be worked over in the secondary by any competent passing attack with or without him (at least early on - if they gel, then who knows). I fully expect this team to have to outscore the other side to win, and not in the Joe Theisman/John Madden sorrt of way; I expect a whole bunch of 34-27 games in the future.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:12 PM ^
Think you finally hit the answer, on number 13........bring in Sammy Davis JR. Agree on all, but maybe looking at more 45-40 scores.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:11 PM ^
...it's called swagger.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:11 PM ^
UConn, ND, MSU, Iowa, IU, Purdue, Wisconsin, and tOSU all have pretty good QBs, and can generate lots of passing yardage.
If Gerg has to have his CBs play 8-10 yards off the line of scrimage(like two years ago), this could get ugly.
Man, we were getting so close. Let's hope one of these kids can step up
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