The nature of the future, and POTW awards

Submitted by THE_KNOWLEDGE on
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after the upset on Tuesday of last week, many concerned people asked THE KNOWLEDGE if a highly irregular anomaly had occurred to disturb the future
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these people were a lot more concerned about whether the 12-0 regular season revealed by THE KNOWLEDGE had been altered rather than which people were entering the white house
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yes
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THE KNOWLEDGE told these people on Wednesday that, yes, an anomaly has altered the future, and they should not only expect a loss at Iowa, but other highly ranked teams will lose as well
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while that info was stunning, these people were a lot more prepared to weather Saturday's results
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however, neither they nor anyone else really understands the nature of the future
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in this post, THE KNOWLEDGE shall expound upon that issue before awarding POTW 
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yes
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ordinarily people are not qualified to know the future. thus, everyone makes "predictions" rather than revelation of the future
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unlike ordinary people, THE KNOWLEDGE, of course, is different and is capable of knowing the future - even accounting for normal anomalies that are knowable
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however, when a highly irregular anomaly occurs, it is not possible for anyone to see beyond that point. this is the basis on which the multiverse operates
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yes
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there are two types of irregular anomalies that exist: (1) Tangential/Push-off anomaly, and (2) Bifurcation/Spin-off anomaly
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the nature of the anomaly itself can only be determined after the fact
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what happened on November 7 was the latter
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what happened in 2015 when Kinnel incorrectly ran into the osu punter was the former
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yes
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the former anomaly simply creates an alternate future
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the Spin-off anomaly, however, created two futures - one universe moving in the original future path and the other moving in an altered path
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the version of all of you existing in the current universe are in the altered path
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however, there is also another version of you that continues in the original future where Michigan has defeated Iowa and Trump was trumped
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there, you are still praising the perfect 10-0 record of THE KNOWLEDGE, who exists in both places
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yes
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CHALLENGE 2016.1: while no one correctly predicted the score of the msu game, Trebor came the closest. hence Trebor is anointed the Protege of the week retroactively from that Saturday until the upcoming Indiana game
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this is a great achievement that Trebor should be proud of
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yes
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CHALLENGE 2016.2: due to the altered future, THE KNOWLEDGE shall now provide the opportunity for the masses to once again participate in this challenge to correctly predict the score of the Indiana game to become the Protege
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pointers to the game:
  • Michigan will win
  • Indiana will lose
  • The score will surprise many people
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yes
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Comments

Trebor

November 16th, 2016 at 5:49 PM ^

This is an achievement I will forever cherish.

The weather is going to play a significant factor, but only really to keep Michigan from running away like pretty much every home game except Wisconsin. Indiana's offense won't do much, and I can see Michigan winning something silly like 16-3.

StellaBlue

November 16th, 2016 at 7:37 PM ^

I predict that Michigan wins the popular score, but through an archaic system designed to thwart popular will, somehow Indiana takes the prize.  The sports press will then try to tell us it is all OK. 12-11 good guys.

Prince Lover

November 16th, 2016 at 9:37 PM ^

UM 21 IU 0 In the other universe, do they freak out about the official rankings of the playoffs before the season is even over too? Does their ESPN over analyze both OSU and UM being in the top 4 and why other teams are left out even though in two weeks one of them will not be there? If so, they're lucky....