OT: Talking Cars Tuesday - Embarrassment Edition

Submitted by JeepinBen on April 26th, 2016 at 10:01 AM

We've talked summer, we've talked biggest/smallest/etc. we even heard that half of you should be dead based on the "dumbest" things you've done with cars. How about most embarrassing? Did your car break down on the first date? Did you have a "LeCar" and all your friends called you "LeGeorge"?

Did you accidentally buy the F-Series?

No shame here, just funny stories among friends. What's the most embarrassed you've ever been by your ride?

Comments

Blueblood2991

April 26th, 2016 at 10:43 AM ^

Halloween when I was 17. I had just picked up this new girl I was interested in from her house, and we were on our way to a party. All is well, until my truck decides to start overheating.

I call my brother and convince him to let me use his car for the night.  So I explain to the girl that I was going to turn on the heat full blast for the short trip to my house to disperse some of the heat.  All is still well.

Unfortunately, I was the Incredible Hulk that year.  All decked out in green paint. And when I turned the heat on, I started sweating and paint started running in my eyes almost instantaneously.

Long story short, ended up hitting a parked car and ran around like an a green painted idiot trying to find water to flush my eyes out.

JFW

April 26th, 2016 at 10:43 AM ^

Jr. year of HS, my first real GF.

Her old man worked for Ford. I got the old LTD all gussied up for the young lady. Washed. Vacuumed. Gym clothes and wrestling bag put in the trunk where they didn't smell too bad. 

When I went to pick her up, I met her at the door, walked her out, and after opening the door on her side, I got in. I then went to turn the ignition and got *click*. 

It wasn't a problem. I knew the cause. The power steering fluid leaked down and just happened to collect on the bolts connecting the wires to the starter. By that point I was pretty good at taking an old grill brush and just brushing them clean enough for a connection. You just had to reach in on the ground through one of the wheel wells.  I promptly did that, and after about 5 minutes got the car started. 

However, by that point, the girls Dad came out. 'Son, why don't you borrow my car for the night...'

He was a super nice guy. I know he was chuckling in the background, but he made it seem like he he was doing me a favor because his car was a executive lease that 'needed the miles'. 

LSAClassOf2000

April 26th, 2016 at 10:45 AM ^

When I was a relatively inexperienced and unobservant driver back in high school (hard to believe this is over 20 years ago for me), I had the luxury of parking in the garage once - once. 

It was a Friday evening, and I had just come home from some event and my parents were out, so I took my dad's spot in the garage, and went indoors and watched TV for the rest of the evening, something I'd done scores of times before without incident.

The next morning was a baseball game, so I threw my stuff in my car, got in, started it, hit the button on the door opener and started backing out. 

*THUMP*

It just so happened that my dad had parked his car - a company car too - right there behind the door, and of course in my groggy state, I didn't even think to look there.

The embarrassing part of this is that it was a car that he was driving for the weekend for test purposes in his engineering group. This car was a Lexus.

Yeah, I was a little late to the field because I was getting the riot act from a former defensive end in a bathrobe and slippers.

Winchester Wolverine

April 26th, 2016 at 10:48 AM ^

I fell on hard times not too long ago. Was forced to drive a 91 Ford Taurus. Thing is, it was salvaged. And in the state of Ohio you NEED to have a bumper. So, this hillbilly that I bought it from, for 300 bucks, installed a WOODEN bumper in the back. A piece of fucking wood. Not to mention a light switch for the window wipers, a cracked windshield, purple coloring, and a crooked steering wheel. Beat that.

pkatz

April 26th, 2016 at 10:49 AM ^

Picked the girl up from her parents' place (we were teenagers) and headed out for the night on our first date.  It was dark, it was winter and we were in Vail, Colorado.  Driving down a huge hill and in all likelihood going faster than I should have - came around a turn with another car coming towards me, but could not hold my line... skidded into the on-coming car (which was BRAND NEW) and smacked it pretty good.

Cops, tow truck and worst of all girl's parents had to get us...  the girl borrowed her parents' car and we went out anyway.  Somehow it all ended up working out anyway... must be my innate je ne sais quoi?

DOBlue48

April 26th, 2016 at 10:57 AM ^

As my reward for graduating college in 1990 my parents, quite inexplicably, gave me an early 80's K-Car station wagon with, you guessed it, faux woodgrain side panels. 

My college car was certainly on it's last leg at that time, and I was movingfrom MI to FL for my first job so some extra cargo space was not an entirely bad idea, but holy hell....a K-Car....Station....fucking.....wagon.....fake woody????

The ONLY good thing about the situation is that I had already met the woman I remain married to back then.  Driving that car was worse for meeting women than open sores all around ones oral cavity.

 

74polSKA

April 26th, 2016 at 11:01 AM ^

My first car was a 1973 Dodge Polara that still had the bias ply tires equipped when we bought it in 1992. We put "new" tires on it that were all varying age full size spares my dad had collected over the years (I have no idea how they were all the same size). I was almost to my girlfriend's house on one of the first hot days that summer and had about a foot section of the tread separate from one of the tires and start slapping against the wheelwell. I got to change the tire in her driveway. I was mortified but she actually thought it was funny and we dated the rest of summer. 

BlueinOK

April 26th, 2016 at 11:01 AM ^

I put my car in a ditch on a first date. It was so cold and she didn't have a jacket. Somehow it ended up working out as we dated for 2 years. It would have been a great story to tell our kids, but I was way immature in college and cared more about partying. Such is life. 

Jim Harbaugh

April 26th, 2016 at 11:06 AM ^

Nissan Sentra 2 door... Basically like a bergundy golf cart and I had to start it with a screw driver because the ignition module was a mess. Needless to say I couldnt keep the ladies away because of my ride.

SoDak Blues

April 26th, 2016 at 11:08 AM ^

Not terribly embarrassing, but I was on a first date in high school with a gorgeous girl (I had been working on her for what seemed like for ever). It was a beautiful summer day, so I spent the morning detailing my Jeep Wrangler - fucking spotless. I think I am hot shit, drop the top and pick her up. It was not four minutes before some huge bird shits on my head while going under an overpass. That put my ego in check. 

Benoit Balls

April 26th, 2016 at 11:17 AM ^

By the time I got it is was 18 years old and leaky. Every time I stopped for gas I had to check the oil. One time it was close to 2 AM and I was driving my girlfriend (at the time) home after a night out.  I stopped at the gas station nearest her house before dropping her off (probably shouldve waited until after, but she wanted to get some gum or whatever as well).

Old people like me may remember those cars had the gas cap behind the rear license plate. So, I put the hose in, locked the latch, and proeeded to pop my hood to check my oil.  My oil was a bit low so I went in to buy a quart.  As I was putting the oil in, my girlfriend started talkinig about how she was going to be late, lets go yadda yadda. I finished with the oil, closed the hood, tossed the paper funnel and got back in the car. Started 'er up and drove away. About 3 feet later there was a big "KA THUNK" and I felt a jerk coming from behind.  

I forgot to take the gas hose out of the back of the car. Luckily it was a breakaway hose and gas was not spewing all over the place. I took the hose out of the filler neck, set it on the ground, looked around and made sure no employees saw me, and GTF outta there.

My girlfriend was howling. For the rest of our dating life, every time I got gas, she mentioned it. 

SCarolinaMaize

April 26th, 2016 at 11:18 AM ^

One of my cars had no floor boards on the drivers side, so I "installed" a bench cushion to keep the cold out.  Well, I was driving on 10 between Midland & Bay City in the rain, and the mat got soaked and then sucked out the floor doing 75mph.  The rest of the drive I had all the rain water flying up from the hole in the floor.  When I got where I was going, not only was my car soaked, but I looked like I pissed a Big Gulp in my pants.  Good times.  

mGrowOld

April 26th, 2016 at 11:18 AM ^

I owned one of these.  And it had a four speed (cause it was cooler) but same color, same wheels, same four doors, same shitty hatchback....

JFW

April 26th, 2016 at 11:20 AM ^

I was working at Pontiac Headquarters on the weekend as a microfilmer. Decent money. 

At the time I drove an '86 K-car. 

After working a full day, I came out and the car just wouldn't start. I can't remember what was wrong, but the guys who came out of the brake plant near by saw me stranded and helped. They did something and got me on my way, but I had to listen to 30 minutes of good natured ribbing about how 'You know, if you'd been driving a GM...'

elpigeon

April 26th, 2016 at 11:36 AM ^

Oh boy... I learned how to drive on a car with daytime running lights (mid-00s Accord) and it never really occurred to me that there was an alternative. Of course there was and I had it in my 98 Civic. I was so used to flicking the knob one notch to turn on my lights that I just assumed that's how I turned on my headlights and my high beams. So naive. People would flash their high beams at me and I would flash 'mine' back. Must have been confusing. So there I was, driving home after asking a girl to homecoming (she said no). As soon as the car in front of me turned into a neighborhood, I turned on my 'high beams' and the cop behind me turned on her lights. She had seen me driving with my parking lights on and believed I knew what I was doing because I turned on my lights as soon as she pulled up behind me. However, my tears, my inability to find my insurance and registration, and the fact that I lived a half mile away convinced I was just an idiot. She showed me how to operate my lights and let me off with a warning. All those complaints to my dad about dim lights finally made sense to him. The Michigan Difference™

MaizeAndBlueWahoo

April 26th, 2016 at 12:22 PM ^

Once upon a time while still only having my learner's permit, my mom had me drive her around on a snowy day to a couple different places she had to go.  At one stop I did the following:

1) Park the car

2) Apply parking brake

3) Go inside store

4) Return from store

5) Start car

6) Drive off

Somewhere between 4 and 5 is a missing step, which I only noticed after about a mile of fishtailing down the snowy and icy road at 10 miles an hour, like a drunken Tokyo drifter trying not to get caught.  Yes, she forgot too, and we were both marveling at how darn slick the road was until I remembered the missing step.

Eastwood

April 26th, 2016 at 12:54 PM ^

My first car was a 1980-something "imported by dodge" colt. I bought it in 1994 for $100, it was a total piece. After owning this beauty for about 6 months and sold it to a friend for the same price I paid. About a month later the friend was turning into a side street and the driver side lug bolts snapped, the wheel flew off and he just left the car blocking the intersection.

Walter E. Kurtz

April 26th, 2016 at 3:00 PM ^

During my senior year of high school my best friend and I took my 1987 Buick Skylark (two-tone grey) to the mall. That doesn't seem particularly unusual, however, it was the middle of winter after a heavy snowstorm.  The outer parking lot at the Garden State Plaza was plowed, but the snow was stacked up in a few piles all over the lot.  The low temperatures had turned these piles of snow rock solid unbeknownst to me.  

So, I decided to drive over the piles of snow and went up a particularly steep one and didn't come down.  I had managed to get stuck on the top of the pile of snow and also rip off the front air damn.  My friend and I tried everything to get the car off the snow pile from jumping up and down on the front and rear end to urinating on the snow to melt it.  All the while we were hoping the cops or mall security didn't show up.

After we ran out energy and urine we decided to call another buddy to help us out.  This was before the days of cell phones so I had to walk to the mall and use the pay phone.  My buddy told me we was late for a basketball game and split.  

My other friend showed up and pushed me off the snow bank only after my car started to backslide into his front hood and windshield.  I invisioned him being decapitated as the car slid.  Fortunately the car slid away from his and down the snow pile.  I did 90 out of the lot.

Later that evening when my father came home from work and I watched him walk from bus stop to our driveway, he stopped and looked at my car for a good minute.  I guess he was thinking something looked off but couldn't figure it out.  Thankfully he never found out.

I later totaled that car while taking a girlfriend to the beauty salon on Union Street in Lodi.

Good times.  

 

CoverZero

April 26th, 2016 at 4:01 PM ^

I grew up fairly poor and had to pay for college on my own through jobs and scholarships.  All I could afford was a beat up 1980 Toyota Celica.  It was actually a good car, however I was hit by a kid who ran a red light and the back end got all beat up and it started to rust all over including under the floorboards.   It ran great though and did the job.

2 years in to college I started dating a beautiful ZETA sorority girl who came from a wealthy family.  We dated for 2 years and still keep in touch all these years later.  One of the reasons that we broke up was due to her family, most notably her wicked step-mother.   Step mom hated me because I was poor, and she hated when I parked my beater in front of their nice house in the good part of Farmington Hills.  Eventually, she meddled enough in the relationship to get it to end.  I walked away.  6 months later, the blonde came to me with a letter begging me to take her back...but I couldnt.  I was on to dating someone else who I ended up hating.  Those events and that car shaped the course of my life.

BlueMan80

April 26th, 2016 at 5:46 PM ^

When your first car is a 1978 Mercury Zephyr with a 1.8 liter four-banger, a four speed manual tranny, and no tach, and an AM radio, that pretty much makes any situation embarassing.  Generic transportation at its finest.

A guy I worked with went to a party one night and got into it with a friend over how many lateral Gs his car could pull.  Why?  No idea, but drinking was involved.  So, to prove his MR2 could pull close to 1G, he went to a parking lot and drove in circles for quite some time.  The following day after his head cleared, he discovered his car had 4 flat tires.  He broke the bead seal on every tire.

Blue_by_U

April 26th, 2016 at 7:54 PM ^

now my wife attended CMU. Ann Arbor and a car are challenging, so I wanted to surprise her. I found the cheapest option under the age of 25 in "rent a wreck" and sam howdy was it...ancient volvo and the whole front end shook when I exceeded 55 mph. Got to Mount Pleasant and cranked open the sun roof, quite a novelty for me...and the handle snapped off leaving the roof stuck open. When she finally stopped laughing we got some pliers and fixed it, but it was not a very safe option. They put the wreck in rent a wreck.

Mr. Elbel

April 27th, 2016 at 12:09 AM ^

I don't really have an embarrassing story, so I'll tell someone else's that happened in my car.

Years ago I dated a girl who grew up in Indonesia and Malaysia. Met her in college and she still didn't have a driver's license. So I let her practice driving in my 98 Camry a few times on campus.

One time we were in an almost empty parking lot and I was showing her how to park and practice backing up. She gave it a try and parked, the proceeded to back up into the ONLY car in the parking lot. I didn't let her practice in my car anymore after that and I think we broke up a few months or so later.

Wendyk5

April 27th, 2016 at 10:07 AM ^

This happened recently, as in the past six months. The day my son got his learner's permit, I immediately took him out driving. He had been out a few times in an empty parking lot on a Sunday, but this was his first time in real driving conditions. I didn't really give this first experience a lot of thought, I just said, "Let's Go!" He was apprehensive, but went along. The streets in our neighborhood are narrow, so when another car is coming your way, you have to pull to the side, usually right near a parked car. It can be nerve-wracking. As we were driving down the street, another car came towards us. I told my son he'd have to pull close to the parked car to let the other car through. He started to pull over but I noticed he was getting awfully close to the parked car, so I told him to stop. It was like he didn't know how to use the brake properly (he didn't; this was his third time driving) and so he hit the parked car. On his first time out. I really felt horrible. I should have eased him in. He was completely shell-shocked, and said he didn't want to drive afterall. Six months and many hours behind the wheel later, he's doing great, and will get his license in June. But I take full responsibility for his driving PTSD.