OT: Best Trash Talk Lines
Alright. My IM inner-tube water polo team is thru to the semis. I play goalie and every time I reject some fool's shot (which is 100% of the time) I say a one-liner of trash talk just to get in their heads and lift the spirits of my teammates. You know, stuff like "THIS IS A BRICK WALL" and "WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THAT SHOT" and random stupid stuff. After two playoff games and enough shots on goal, I'm starting to reuse some lines and they're losing effectiveness. So MGoNerds, come up with some good lines for this MGoAthlete so that I can psychologically break down the other team. I smell an MVP trophy coming my way.
February 10th, 2010 at 10:52 PM ^
Denied!
February 10th, 2010 at 11:23 PM ^
"Man, get that weak shit outta here!"
February 11th, 2010 at 2:09 PM ^
Weak shit = weaksauce. I've always enjoyed the weaksauce more than weak shit.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:00 PM ^
I could have been your Dad if I'd beaten that bulldog across the street
February 10th, 2010 at 11:00 PM ^
you can give the Mutumbo finger wag
February 10th, 2010 at 11:01 PM ^
Now get out mah face, for i run yo ass over with my motacycle.
That one always works wonders for me.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:01 PM ^
Whenever I play IM, I scream "INTIMIDAAATIONNNNNN!" a lot. If you say it enough, it makes it true.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:05 PM ^
"You'll have better luck trying to score with your sister"
February 10th, 2010 at 11:08 PM ^
*"I had better luck scoring with your sister."
February 11th, 2010 at 2:12 AM ^
This is exactly what i was looking for. Now i'm ashamed that i couldn't come up with it.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:05 PM ^
In the words of Demar Dorsey
"no fly zone!"
February 10th, 2010 at 11:12 PM ^
is I'd score on you every time. Nobody shuts me down in innertube Water Polo
February 10th, 2010 at 11:12 PM ^
BEN WALLACE!
February 11th, 2010 at 9:43 AM ^
"BOOM WALLACED"
February 10th, 2010 at 11:17 PM ^
You're a load that should have been swallowed.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:29 PM ^
your mom's a terrible cook
February 10th, 2010 at 11:29 PM ^
have any children?
have any children with an IQ over 1?
know you're out tonight?
bath you before you came here?
say you could do dat?
pack your trunks?
give you lessons?
blow your tube?
let you score?
play goalie?
Tonight's Top Ten - Did Your Mama
February 10th, 2010 at 11:53 PM ^
I hear your mom's going out with......SQUEAK
Edit: Much better if used during the shot
February 11th, 2010 at 12:14 AM ^
Steeeevvveee Perry
February 10th, 2010 at 11:34 PM ^
when my brother an i play IM we just scream/yell. mix it up with some low gutturals and then add in something different like a banshee shriek. it scares the shit out of people especially when they aren't expecting it.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:39 PM ^
If somebody isn't watching their elbows in beer pong swat it away and say "NO EASY BUCKETS!"
February 10th, 2010 at 11:55 PM ^
I play goalie in ice hockey and I like to call the other team hosers but most of the time I won't say anything. I like to let my game speak for itself then when they get pissed or slam their stick against the ice you just smile and laugh at them. Seems to work for me.
February 11th, 2010 at 7:34 AM ^
Hoser or Cake Eater never fails.
February 10th, 2010 at 11:56 PM ^
Right before he shoots yell "Steve Perry!"
February 11th, 2010 at 12:07 AM ^
Bring your ipod and some speakers, play temptation, then have your teammates do the goalie-sieve chant they do at hockey games!
February 12th, 2010 at 4:32 PM ^
"BONESAW IS READY!"
"HEY FREAKSHOW, YOU'RE GOIN' NOWHERE!"
February 11th, 2010 at 12:35 AM ^
I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.
February 11th, 2010 at 12:53 AM ^
"Don't bring that cool aid to a gin party"
February 11th, 2010 at 1:00 AM ^
Your mother is a whore and your father smells of elderberries!
February 11th, 2010 at 1:18 AM ^
Non Hazardous Solid Waste is usually land filled or incinerated.
February 11th, 2010 at 2:08 AM ^
BAAAAAAAAP!
or
UH, son!
or
"All sissies goin' to hell!"
February 11th, 2010 at 2:17 AM ^
Just don't pull on the goal or jump in your tube! What team do you play on? I manage a team as well as coordinate the sport, haha.
February 11th, 2010 at 2:40 AM ^
strangely enough, i don't know our team name. I played for the first time the last game of the regular season, and now i'm starting goalie.
can you coordinate us some favored calls?
February 11th, 2010 at 2:47 AM ^
man I hope your girl didn't just see that
and
If I were you I would just get outta the pool
February 11th, 2010 at 4:28 AM ^
This is slightly unrelated, but I remember a story about John Randle, the old Vikings defensive lineman.
Mike Wahle, an offensive lineman for the Packers at the time, was playing against Randle. As they were lining up for one play, Randle just started chanting, "BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE. BEA-GLE."
Apparently Wahle was nicknamed "Beagle" in high school, but the nickname wore off and nobody used it anymore. Wahle had no idea how Randle knew that his nickname used to be Beagle.
February 11th, 2010 at 12:08 PM ^
I was reading an article on Randle after he got inducted into the HOF. Apparently he would read the other team's media guide or do research on the players he was going up against in order to trash talk them.
February 11th, 2010 at 7:57 AM ^
I've heard my share of smack, but never a lot in inner tube water polo. Best line I heard in inner tube water polo was in a sorority final: "Good thing you're wearing waterproof make-up bitch, 'cause I'll make you cry"
Broomball was the best though... "Go put your moonboots on, get on the short bus, and get the fuck off my ice."
February 11th, 2010 at 8:09 AM ^
The best part of you must have ran down your daddy's leg
And
Your mother could have done us all a favor and swallowed!
February 11th, 2010 at 8:26 AM ^
and I didn't invite you in.
February 11th, 2010 at 9:08 AM ^
It was after an LSSU player had rifled a shot into the stands and smacked a little girl in the face. The game was paused, the medics were attending, and the place was as quiet as I've ever heard it. Then someone roars out:
"Hey! Number XX! I hope you have better aim with your girlfriend!"
Place went crazy.
February 11th, 2010 at 9:09 AM ^
This is the most hilarious trash talking article I've read. Two highlights:
"He drew Cowher’s ire for calling him the Tick, a superhero with a super-size chin."
"Scott went so hard after Ryan Fitzpatrick last season when he quarterbacked the Bengals that Scott said Houshmandzadeh and Chad Ochocinco pleaded with him to stop."
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/20/sports/football/20jets.html
February 11th, 2010 at 9:41 AM ^
...Fuck you with an AIDS dick!
February 11th, 2010 at 10:38 AM ^
I like to use lines from tombstone:
"I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'"
"You're no daisy! You're no daisy at all."
"Maybe _______ just isn't your game. I know: let's have a spelling contest."
February 11th, 2010 at 10:56 AM ^
When a guy runs at you full speed when you are elevating to take a shot is just the classic one liner, "Dick in Yo Mouth!"
This would shut down games in college.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:06 AM ^
works as well.
February 11th, 2010 at 11:00 AM ^
Man's game!
February 11th, 2010 at 11:04 AM ^
"get over here"
"finish him"
"flawless victory"
"whats the matta Dylan, the CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"
"Thank you Mario, but the princess is in another castle!"
"You're an inspiration for birth control."
"Thanks for playing Space Quest IV. As usual, you've been a real pantload!"
"all your base belong to us"