(Note: This is my first diary and I'm relatively new to the mgocommunity.  This is simply a portrait of my experiences within Michigan football and The Rivalry).

On The Eve of Battle

Today Michigan football is in a dark space.  Hopes that flew beyond control early in the season have all but been brought to earth.  In a way, I think everything that has happened has set Saturday's game up to be a barn burner.  For one, the game is at noon, and even though I think the game was at noon last year it has been taken out of that slot in years past (unfortunately IMO).  For all intents and purposes OSU has nothing to play for and they are doing their best to try to hype this game up, despite the fact that they are disrespecting the game by wearing those God awful throwbacks.  That point aside, they've won The Game the past five years, they've wrapped up the Rose Bowl, and Michigan is on a skid to say the least.  For all intents and purposes this game should not be close.
The beauty of it is that games aren't played on paper.  On this very site there have been posts, and diaries, and threads all dedicated to breaking down every game in every way possible.  I do this myself.  It's only human nature to try to give oneself control and perspective in a situation where they have no direct impact on the outcome.
I've been a Michigan fan for as long as I can remember.  I've been to The Big House a handful of times and hugged or high-fived complete strangers after every big play.  I've shared in the heart breaking and soul crushing defeat when we outplayed Colorado only to have a hail mary answered (along with Mo going for two too damn much).  When I found out Lloyd was retiring and Rich Rod was taking over I was excited and that excitement only increased after we dethroned Tebow in the Capital One Bowl showing an offense that had never been more exciting in the Carr era.
I didn't expect 2008 to go as bad as it did, but I wore my Michigan sweatshirt to work almost everyday in broad view of my coworkers at 4 a.m., many of home root for MSU or other schools.  Continuing into this year, I have watched every game even to the point where I couldn't watch anymore.  My story is only one in a million other stories told here and elsewhere that make my heart swell with pride to be a Michigan man even in the dark times.
It is just football to some, and I don't lose my perspective on life (at least I don't think) as I am active in ministry (that's the only mention I will make of religion going forward), but to me Michigan football is so much more.  At times my obsession with Michigan football seems more like a drug than a medicine, especially in the dark times surrounding the program.  It is still a diversion from some of the things happening in my own life, and for that I am greatful, as I lost the aforementioned job and live in Michigan where jobs are about as common as wins over the Buckeyes this decade (and don't think that didn't sting to type).
The one thing that really irks me though, is why I can remain supportive of our coach and team when so many others reflect their pain into the program, seemingly trying to rip it apart.  My diary will not change that fact, and it will also not affect the outcome of tomorrow's game at high noon.  I do have an illogical hope, however, and it is a seemingly baseless hope.  Even ripped apart as I have felt since MSU as well as feeling hopeless since Illinois, I have felt some source of inspiration this week.  I have told myself that it's just my Michigan bias combined with my Buckeye hate, and that still could be true, but I have come to the boards here and found similar hope.
I can't lie and say I haven't been critical of Rodriguez, but I have never thought it wise to fire him and never thought it a good thing to let my criticism affect my support.  Though the predators in the media and in the Hell that is Coumbus are waiting for another opportunity to strike Michigan and coach Rod another blow, I am making an appeal on the eve of the 40th anniversary of the '69 rebirth of Michigan football.
Though we have no direct role in the outcome, I know the true fans will be doing everything they can to transfer their passion to the players.  As much as we can we should not worry about the implications a loss or win can mean.  I can only hope that the passion I feel is matched in preparation, in practice, in the locker room and in the game.  I think the problems that have arisen have to do with the expectations we have all had being spoiled for too long.  We will succeed again.
After the game tomorrow I will still wear my Michigan gear with pride, and not just because we have a good basketball team.  Regardless of outcome, let's keep things in perspective and realize that as bad as things seem we will beat the Bucks again, be it this year or next year or in twenty.  I only ask that we do what we can to support the team without letting our emotions cause us to put our energy in the wrong places.  If you are putting energy into getting coach Rod fired, that is energy wasted that could be spent cheering the team on.  I'd rather be positive when I don't have control than negative.
That's all I have to say, other than:  Go Michigan!  Beat the Bucks!

(hope this wasn't a waste of space, but if it is I will go back to just enjoying others content;  I feel too strongly about tomorrow not to pass on my hope)