Soliciting Help To Indoctrinate My Children

Submitted by Eyebrowse on August 14th, 2018 at 8:37 PM

I'm entering Phase 1 of my Michigan Fandom Indoctrination Program (MFIP) for my children. The plan is to spend some time leading up to the season opener watching the 4th quarters of some Michigan games. I will be shamelessly tapping into the instant gratification sector of their brains in order to pump some Oxytocin into their bodies while watching the footballs. Because they have little to no knowledge of Michigan football history the context of the win or overall record for the year doesn't matter (think 2010 Illinois 3-OT win). So, exciting finish is the most important criteria. Here's what I got so far:

2015 Minnesota (Goal-line stand for the win)

2012 MSU (Last minute FG, rivalry win)

2011 Sugar Bowl (OT FG after a 4th quarter comeback by VT)

2010 Illinois (Yes, yes, ne'er was there a better indictment of the problems of the Rich Rod era, but 3-OT fun win is still exciting)

09' 10' 11' ND (All big 4th quarter wins, all wonderful dong punches to relive against the smarmiest fan base in college football)

2007 Capital One Bowl (Even though the finish isn't as flashy, I still get misty watching that team try and carry Carr off the field)

2005 Penn State (The Henne knife to the heart of PSU's previously undefeated season. Also, they're a bunch of child molestation enablers and perpetrators so for forever: Fuck Penn State.)

2005 Iowa (Snatching victory from the jaws of defeat and as we are in the Iowa City area this will play nicely into Phase 2 of the MFIP.)

This is what I'm starting with. I humbly solicit any other ideas for maximum excitement games. Have at it.



August 15th, 2018 at 12:18 AM ^

Contrast this:

I came of football cognizant age (7) in 1969. Hail Bo. 3 losses.

Starting in '70, from 3rd grade through 12th grade I experience 0, 1 and 2 loss seasons only (except for 4-loss 1979, but I kinda discovered weed that year, so, pain was dulled). 21 total losses in 11 seasons.


My son becomes M football cognizant in '08. Rich Rod baby!

9 losses

7 losses

6 losses

2 losses

5 losses

6 losses

7 losses

3 losses

3 losses

5 losses

53 total losses in just 10 years, compared to 21 losses in my 11 years.

Poor kid has watched 32 more losses than I did and he still has a season to go. It took me another 11 years after HS to witness that many losses. Sometimes I'm surprised he's still a M fan.


August 15th, 2018 at 8:21 AM ^

I was born in '83. I approve of this. First memories were basketball's success, Desmond's Heisman, repeatedly beating OSU at the expense of John Cooper, winning the '97 title, and Woodson's Heisman. We didn't even have a TV in our house through most of those years so I listened to most of the football games on the radio.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:24 PM ^

A lot of truth to that.

I grew up in Michigan and was a U-M fan.  But I never attended a single game, all through high school.  First college game I attended was at my actual undergrad school. 

I certainly don't hate Michigan now, but I may have remained more of a U-M fan if I had those childhood experiences.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:01 PM ^

KIds watch ESPN's Game Day, right?  Right after the broadcasting trio picks the game on Game Day where Desmond Howard makes us proud once again.  Take a time out to show them the below tribute.  DH was a damn bomb-catching machine and the Heisman winner ... should help them understand the legacy which is Michigan.  Go Blue !!!

Gentleman Squirrels

August 14th, 2018 at 9:05 PM ^

2011 OSU. Sort of exciting finish. But they should see a victory over OSU.

2016 vs Rutgers just because it's hilarious

I can think of way more exciting basketball finishes which should also help with your indoctrination plan.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:11 PM ^

2003 vs Minnesota. I had to record the game (on VHS) and watched it with no knowledge that we’d won. I kept thinking I should just turn it off and go to bed since Michigan was getting beat so badly. I powered through for the epic comeback.

Loved that team.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:15 PM ^

Speaking of children and trying to get them to become Michigan fans. I just got two foster kids. One is three and a half and I really want to get him jumpman shorts. Any know where I can get little man jumpman shorts in maize and blue??


August 14th, 2018 at 9:15 PM ^

You're overthinking it. They'll either love Michigan football or they won't. I was into it with my dad since I was 6 or 7. Some kids don't really care until they're older. But I know plenty of people who hate school X because their parents tried to cram it down their throats.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:22 PM ^

Personally, I just watch the games with them and let them pick which Michigan stuff they want from mden. They love it when we score or break a big play because I yell and swing them around, and when we get scored on, I shout and curse and let them do it too (the only time and place they get permission to do so). 


They love it.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:29 PM ^

Get a male dog, name it Harbaugh (left).  Get a female dog and name it Maizey (right).  Every kid loves dogs.  When they get old enough to understand where the dogs names came from you explain.  Since they already love the dogs they will of course love Michigan as well.  FWIW I have no children, but I can't imagine this not working.Me & Pups.jpg


August 14th, 2018 at 9:30 PM ^

Wolverine Historian has a phenomenal YouTube channel.

JCBakkar has some great games as well.

Stephen Barnett is a FSU fan but has several Michigan games on his channel.

there are also condensed games that you can find on youtube that put the whole game into 30-45 minutes.

it helps to attend games from a really young age.  my first football memories are of AC and sitting on the old narrow benches in section 5 and then more concrete memories, when i was a little older, of Harbaugh, Jamie Morris, Leroy Hoard, and Jerrod Bunch.  



August 14th, 2018 at 9:34 PM ^

The Game sensitivity training ... Marcus Ray's hit on OSU's All-American David Boston care of our own Ace:




August 14th, 2018 at 9:38 PM ^

Depends on their age, but the big hook that got my two oldest kids excited about Michigan football (when they were 7 and 8 years old) was finding out that there were players named Taco and Butt


August 14th, 2018 at 9:45 PM ^

You are getting a pretty late start on indoctrination.  My daughter could sing Hail To The Victors when she was 1 b/c I sang it during diaper changes and would clap her feet together and raise one up for the hails. She will be 4  Aug 30 and will attend her 4th annual installment of the $5 September opponent that is designed for taking your kid to the big house.  We live close by so it's no big deal if she's toast by half time.  She likes the tailgating, the cheerleaders, frozen lemon ice, the band, and people in our row fussing over her.  She knows that the blue ones are the good guys and that blue and yellow are daddy's favorite colors.  Finer points (the actual game) will be taught later.  When we drive by the stadium we compete to be the first to notice the great big M (scoreboard). The University of Michigan is a source of a great deal of happiness for me and I try to impart every bit of that onto her in the hopes that it is something we can share.


August 14th, 2018 at 9:56 PM ^

Good stuff.  At age 4, my daughter loved to shout BIAKABATUKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unforutnately, I am a less than perfect father.  She went to MSU even though she was accepted to U of M.  I will question some of my support decisions for the rest of my life.