Offseason snowflakes
Every offseason is born with a terminal diagnosis - 8 months to live. It's been a long and painful fight, but now this offseason is in its last throes of existence, I'd be interested to recap all the stories and non-stories of the year. A last chance to air your grievances, provide your insight, get in your digs, or press your tongue to your cheek. Tonight the offseason officially comes to a close, with the Michigan season close on its heals.
As we look back at the long winter, we must also prepare for the next cold spell. So what 2014 offseason ESPN regurgitations are you sick of before they even start? More Johnny drama? Countless speculations on the playoff selection process? The SEC's 8th MNC?
Topics to opine from this offseason:
- The Frank and Devin bandwagon.
- Lewan's return.
- Meyer practicing santeria to possess Hernandez' body and hate murder people.
- Kids signing things, possibly for money.
- Offensive Weapon.
- All of the recruits.
- Conversation on the body composition of other men, with creepy undertones.
- When will "The Hit" no longer by the hit?
- Umm... Miley Cyrus?
August 29th, 2013 at 12:07 PM ^
Jesse Palmer's glasses. Atrocious.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:27 PM ^
I feel as if he is trying to bring back the 60s style of glasses. No one should have glasses these days anyway. Get contacts or LASIK surgery.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:45 PM ^
Clearly, you aren't familiar with the term "hipster."
August 29th, 2013 at 12:50 PM ^
It's intriguing how you can be douchey without even trying.
Contacts come with their own set of issues (I use them, but I also have glasses because they can only stay in for so many hours of the day), and not everyone is eligible for LASIK.
I'm not sure what your deal is with glasses.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:27 PM ^
Some people just prefer glasses. No big deal.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:03 PM ^
They make him look like Ed Helms.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:58 PM ^
The glasses are bad, but fergodsakes I wish he would wear a shirt that actually fits him. Drives me nuts everytime I see it.
August 29th, 2013 at 2:07 PM ^
Good lord you're a dick. I almost got Lasik, but it turns out it would have fixed my (slight) near-sightedness by sacrificing some of my near vision. Since my near vision is what I need 90% of the day, I said no thanks. Is there anything about which you're completely ignorant that you don't have a strong opinion about?
August 29th, 2013 at 2:22 PM ^
I agree - no glasses. Also, no one should ever wear a belt nowadays, we invented elastic, remember? Get with the times. Same with a watch - you have a clock on your cell phone, right?
August 29th, 2013 at 5:27 PM ^
Belt - my waist line tends to fluctuate throughout the year. The elastic might loose it's elasticity after a while.
Watch - agree 100%.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:08 PM ^
You forgot one of the biggest off-season snowflakes. The Incredible Disappearing Girlfriend of Manti Teo.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:17 PM ^
That's true. And it doesn't feel like we got a solid resolution to the matter, or maybe I tuned out to that storyline before the resolution.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:31 PM ^
I don't think there ever was a resolution. Teo said he was duped. There was some guy who claimed to have done it. Everyone kind of scratched their heads, chuckling awkwardly then sort of moved on.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:12 PM ^
where that dude got signed by the Tigers and is platooning I'm left field.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:15 PM ^
The Tigers player is a DIFFERENT Tuiasosopo.
August 29th, 2013 at 2:04 PM ^
who played D-line for the Seahawks either. My whole world is spinning out of control.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:35 PM ^
that I am still totally fascinated by the fake dead girlfriend story?? That was too weird...
August 29th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^
I, too, wish the Te'o story never die. It's the most awesomly weird story in the history of sports and it happened to ND.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:28 PM ^
Going to have to beg to differ here. It was a highly creepy story to me and I still don't see why anyone outside of Teo needed to know about it.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:33 PM ^
A very large part of Te'o's rise to the Heisman conversation involved the media narrative about his cancer-striken girlfriend. He cited her in his speech at the Heisman ceremony, which was after he could reasonably cling to gullibility. Given that we live in a world where people DO draw their motivation from cancer-striken loved ones, the public most definitely deserved to know that this one was entirely fraudulent.
August 29th, 2013 at 2:19 PM ^
This. If he didn't want people to know about his cancer girlfriend (who he had never met) then he didn't have to tell the whole country about it. But he either got mega-duped, or something way worse (better?) is going on. In either case, I absolutely love it.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:45 PM ^
is at a game where ND is the visitor this year (say for UTLII)- there will be some epic signs about dead fake girlfriends
August 29th, 2013 at 12:11 PM ^
-Frank Beckmann
-TheGhostOfDudes meltdown(s)
-Rutgers' athletic department woes
August 29th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^
So, is the board still haunted by some former coach?
I actually don't mind him, he has the subtleties of trolling down pat. Make a few cogent points, then intersperse them with flamebait. Blatant trolls are no fun.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:16 PM ^
My off-season went as follows:
Michigan Basketball is back!
Oh man, wish they could have won that game
Wow Michigan BB Sucks...waaay too many Freshman
I think we have a chance to win the B1G....
nope maybe not
Hey we look good...final 4?
We're in the final 4!!!
Screw you ref...that was a block
GOOD BYE ALL OF M BBALL players (oh wait, only Trey and Timmy...(we can live with that)
Followed by:
Tigers are going to win 150 games
FIRE LEYLAND
WTF VERLANDER
Hello: Max Schrezer
WTF VERLANDER
Suck it Tribe
World Series here we come
FIRE LEYLAND
WTF VERLANDER
August 29th, 2013 at 1:06 PM ^
Jake Ryan tore his ACL? FFFFUUUUUU!!!!
Ryan Bellomy tore his ACL? FFFFUUUUUU!!!!
Jake Ryan may be back in the line-up by October? Woo hoo!
Ryan Bellomy won't, so long Shane Morris redshirt.
Amarah Darboh broke his foot? FFFFFUUUUUU!!!!
August 29th, 2013 at 3:22 PM ^
Ferris... Russell.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:17 PM ^
So is this just an open thread? Not criticizing, as I am about to participate just for fun:
So this offseason was filled with tons of discussion on redshirts. To burn them or not to burn them. My view - perhaps contrary to many on this board - is that for this upcoming season, if the true freshman is even incrimentally better than the other players on the roster, the true freshman should play. This includes on special teams - many of our incoming kids are really athletic - let them play on special teams if it is an upgrade over the existing talent.
My reasoning: In prior years, we have had to agonize over burned redshirts because we desparately wanted another year with the player. The reason for this was that the outgoing talent was usually significantly better than the incoming talent. Not critizing any of our current or recently-departed players, but that's the truth. For where our program is now, the incoming talent in upcoming classes (think of Harris, Harris, Peppers, Cambell, and perhaps Hand and a few others) looks to be at least as good, and in some cases perhaps even better, than the talent that is just coming in now. our recruiting is ramping up. So, if player X is only here for four years, and not five, so what? The "next guy up" will likely be at least as good. So, given our recruiting trend, I say play any true freshman that can increase our chances of winning, even if incrimental, and don't worry about burned redshirts.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:25 PM ^
I feel like Michigan football titles are like cicadas, they come around every 17 years (at least since I've been born). Which means that next year is our year. I'd say play as many young players as you can to get them game experience for next year. If a departing senior is only marginally better than a young player, play the young player. I know Hoke wouldn't see it that way, as seniors earn their spot. But as far as strategy goes, it's pretty sound.
August 29th, 2013 at 9:00 PM ^
We've won five Big Ten chsmpionships and one National Title, right?
August 29th, 2013 at 12:23 PM ^
It was the best of times (MBB Went to the NCAA Champsionship game), it was the worst of times (Jake Ryan's ACL, Bye-Bye Denard/Binkie, No football for 8 months...and yes, Miley Cyrus).
August 29th, 2013 at 12:41 PM ^
The Frank and Devin bandwagon: All for it. Love it when UM gets some love in the national press. Personally, I'm on board for Frank and cautiously optimistic about Devin. (The pessimist in me would rather be disappointed in a DE with young and talented back-ups and pleasantly surprised by a world-beating QB.)
Lewan's return: Also all for it. See above about UM and national press. Speaks well to the program culture and the player.
Meyer practicing santeria to possess Hernandez' body and hate murder people: My tune might change, depending on if or what comes from Rolling Stone's accusations. Seeing OSU get dragged through the mud is fun, but weakly tying a coach to something like murder years removed is pretty unseemly. And the reaction around here can be pretty disappointing in that regard.
Kids signing things, possibly for money: It's a conversation that won't go away for a lot of reasons (e.g., people willing to give college kids who aren't allowed to hold jobs lots of money for no real work, the NCAA's unwillingness to enforce their own rules). It's a good off season discussion, but I'd rather just think about the sport. I will be happy if I never have to hear the name Manziel again, though. I just really, really do not care.
Offensive Weapon: See answers #1 and #2. I'd love for Denard to be a constant topic of conversation. I don't think it's likely, unfortunately. But I'd love it. Plus, it'll make my last round fantasy football pick look like genius!
All of the recruits: Aside from reading mid-season "Hello" posts, I'll be more concerned about the current team and the performance on the field. Personally, I'll be tuning out a lot of recruiting chatter.
Conversation on the body composition of other men, with creepy undertones: I love the term "sack master." I hope to hear it early and often. See anser #1.
When will "The Hit" no longer by the hit?: Never. As much as Michigan fans hate seeing it, it was a monster hit. It gets talked about and shown over and over for a reason. Yes, it was a missed blocking assignment. It was also an absolutely brutal looking hit that caused a fumble (which Clowney recovered himself, one-handed), knocked the helmet clean off Smith, and came after that bizarrely horrible 1st down call. It's not going anywhere.
Umm... Miley Cyrus?: I have no opinion about her. I didn't see the VMAs and don't think I've ever heard one of her songs. But I hear she's racist now, so "nay," I guess.
EDIT: I think I misunderstood the point of this thread, but I don't care. The world deserves to know my thoughts on the above topics!
August 29th, 2013 at 12:29 PM ^
Fo sho, fo life!
August 29th, 2013 at 12:31 PM ^
Please never never bring up Miley Cyrus again. Mighigan Men just say No to Miley.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:20 PM ^
While in agreement, I realized I was nodding my head like, "yeah".
August 29th, 2013 at 12:36 PM ^
I don't see athletes being paid anytime soon. Largely because the matter is sooo much deeper than just saying, "here is money, don't cheat." There are incredible legal and equality issues to face that could ruin college sports.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:40 PM ^
What I will be sick of in 2014:
How will Shane Morris replace the Heisman winning Gardner who left his NC winning UM Wolverines to go pro.
The new head coach search for OSU due to the early retirement of Urban Meyer due to health reasons/realization that after consecutive thumpings from TTUN hes not in Disneyland anymore.
The debate of how many triple crowns Miguel Cabrera can win consecutively.
How much will it take to sign the World Series MVP Max Scherzer to an extension.
And lastly, although not as national, who will the lions hire to replace their HC and GM after yet another non-playoff season.
Okay so the 1st 4 are pretty farfetched I know.....
August 29th, 2013 at 12:50 PM ^
The Frank and Devin bandwagon -
I would say that Frank taking reps opposite Lewan and having to try and beat Lewan in practice will definitely pay dividends, and I think Devin is poised to do some great things in this offense now that it is what the staff wanted in the beginning, it seems.
Lewan's return -
Having his leadership in a mostly young unit for one more year will definitely be beneficial.
Meyer practicing santeria to possess Hernandez' body and hate murder people -
I'll be interested to see what is in the Rolling Stone story, of course, but for now, I will take Meyer's reaction that he is rather haunted by the idea that Hernandez turned out to be what he is as genuine.
All of the recruits -
Spots in these classes fill up quickly - reserve yours now, right? This staff's very deliberate, targeted and brilliant approach to recruiting, in concert with the culture of "team" and "family" will set this program up for great things for a long time.
When will "The Hit" no longer by the hit?
I want ESPN to show Clowney getting hit in the junk in that game. Fair is fair.
Umm... Miley Cyrus?
Until Monday afternoon, I owned a foam finger. This is no longer the case.
August 29th, 2013 at 12:58 PM ^
The header to the jibblies was pretty epic in its own right.
August 29th, 2013 at 1:08 PM ^
So I'm just going to post 3 things that made me happy:
- MBB Success
- Lewan's Return
- DG Hype
Recruiting success has also made me happy, but that's not all offseason.
3 things that made me sad...
- Ryan's injury
- Darboh's injury
- Green finishing camp at #5 or #6.
August 29th, 2013 at 2:29 PM ^
I can't wait for the hit to go away. That said, tonight I'll see it another 39 times.