Free Cooper Barton; the brave five-year-old Oklahoma wolverine
By now everyone has heard of the five-year-old who dared to wear a UM T-shirt to his Oklahoma kindergarten class. He has become a symbol of the the fight against mideaval Oklahoma laws that not only force five year olds to hide their Michigan logos but can also can turn kindergartners into criminals for:
1. making ugly faces at a dog.
2. taking an elephant into the downtown area
3. biting another's hamburger.
4. wearing shoes to bed
5. having the hind legs of farm animals in his boots
6. molesting an automobile OR
7. opening a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
I kid you not. These are real Oklahoma laws!
So, how can a kindergartner fight cops, who enforce such unjust laws? Is there anything we can do to help poor Cooper Barton?
I suggest a new UM jersey that says:
"Free Cooper Barton": the brave five-year-old freedom fighter from Oklahoma.
Please feel free to share your other ideas.
/s
http://www.ahajokes.com/oklahoma_jokes.html
http://www.detroitnews.com/article/20120823/SPORTS0201/208230432/1131/s…
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:29 PM ^
when does actual football start?
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:43 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:29 PM ^
who's ready for in-season posting requirements?!
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:38 PM ^
A refresher for those who might have forgotten:
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:44 PM ^
... referencing in-season posting rules is "off topic" but this post isn't? Thanks for clearing that up.
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:46 PM ^
I'm torn. I'm ready for in-season posting requirements, but the season isn't ready. (isn't here yet.) If they were in place, there might be no posts at all!! The best I can say is I'm ready for more substantive posts. Perhaps reviews of restaurants in Ann Arbor? Pictures of new campus buildings?
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:31 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:33 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:33 PM ^
I have a belly-button.
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:34 PM ^
I don't get it.
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 PM ^
The jokes that you've made over the years - I don't really get them. But the fact that you're making them? I respect that.
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:48 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:37 PM ^
fight the power mang
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:38 PM ^
I tend to believe that molesting an automobile should be against the law. Maybe it's just me...
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:19 PM ^
I'd put biting another person's burger at the top of that list. I'd throw someone in jail for that.
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:01 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:46 PM ^
Is this "/s" really necessary?
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:37 PM ^
I am thinking of using one of the following next time:
/Don't Take Life So Seriously. It Isn't Permanent
/Those who laugh last think slowest
/Every One Has The Right To Be Stupid But You're Abusing the Privilege
/If I got smart with you how would you know
/The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 PM ^
Sad lack of confidence is sad.
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:01 PM ^
Your comments about a lack of confidence betray your own concerns, not mine.
I do agree that the /s symbol is no remedy for the unimaginative, humorless, vindictive, weak, or tedious
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:49 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 3:51 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:02 PM ^
I'm gonna go ahead and say the anti molesting cars law should stay on the books
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:11 PM ^
Made me think of Will Campbell. What would the kids look like if he mated with one of these dinky electric cars?
https://www.google.com/search?q=smallest+cars&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs…
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:47 PM ^
It's just so hard to tell if it's consensual nowadays.
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:13 PM ^
But I think that Pinto is really into me.
August 23rd, 2012 at 4:52 PM ^
a box of Michigan shirts to that elementary school, just for the hell of it.
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:01 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 6:57 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:28 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:35 PM ^
If nothing else, the comprehensive list of Oklahoma laws behind the link was amusing. I would imagine that the famous Blue Whale of Catoosa will be relieved to hear that whaling is illegal in the state of Oklahoma. The other interesting one - apparently, if you solicit a hooker, your name and photo must be on television, so I assume the local news has endless filler material here.
August 23rd, 2012 at 5:52 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 7:00 PM ^
August 23rd, 2012 at 7:21 PM ^