OT: The Friday "What are you up to?" Posbang Thread
Its that time again. Time for a good Friday posbang!
What are you all up to today? Have you found a way to avoid being productive on this sunny Friday? Are you doing anything interesting this weekend?
Me, I'm sitting here at my desk as usual, trying not to get carpal tunnel syndrome as I hammer out document after document. Howard Stern is talking in the background, providing another distraction to get me through the day, which includes me trying very hard to keep my composure with a lawyer for Comerica about language in a document. Who would have thought a mid-sized bank like Comerica would be so difficult to deal with!?
As for this weekend, I have a nice little Saturday planned. Going to take my oldest to a gourmet breakfast at IHOP and then hit the storage unit to move crap out of our house so we can put it on the market. (You'd be amazed at the amount of kids sh-t that you accumulate in just four years.) Maybe I'll cut the grass too. Not sure. Not sure if I'll have enough time.
(For all you Battlefield 3 players out there: Have you purchased the Premium add-on yet? Any thoughts on the new weapons? For you PS3ers, I set up a new platoon called "MGoBlog" (clan name "MGo") if any of you want to join. I'm playing under a different PSN these days so friend me up. I'm still playing late-night so if any of you are up late playing too lets squad up.)
[EDIT: Almost forgot to upvote my own thread . . . Done.]
I LOVE him, but I'm not IN love with him.
The knife to the heart phrase. How do you know if that's true? I assume you haven't been intimate so you really don't even know if you could fall IN love with him. You have to love a personality before you can love-love the person. That "not IN love with him" excuse is the classic girl avoidance tactic. The girl (or guy, I guess, but that's much more rare) is too scared to make the leap so, inevitably, the friendship ends. Sorry if I'm coming off like a jerk - this one is just near and dear to my heart. Of course, it all ended well. But I could have avoided a lot of heartache if I had just made the other girl put up or shut up long before I eventually did.
So why not give it a try? Be a 21st Century woman and make the first move. See what happens! It can't be any worse than it is now, can it? If anything, at least you'll be able to say you tried.
There's probably something to that. I would totally give it a try. I've ended things with two men in the past year because I didn't find them as interesting as him. But if he isn't even answering e-mails about a baseball game I don't really know what my "in" would be. #MGoJenProblems
Do whatever it takes. Don't let any more time pass - the moment grows more and more stale as the days pass. He might not respond to an email or return a phone call, but he's reading and listening. Showing up at his door might be a bit too much for you (I wouldn't have the guts to do it myself) so write a letter. If there's any chance you could fall IN love, don't let that possibility pass simply because it will mean there's some work involved. You know it will be worth it in the end if things work out! I know all this sounds corny like some silly movie but, in this case, its real. DO IT!
My stomach just dropped reading this. I HAVE to do it. So what do I say? Do I tell him everything?! Like mail him a letter and tell him everything? You, sir, may have just changed my life.
Do what you feel most comfortable with. If its writing a letter, see if you can deliver it in person. You don't have to say a word - just hand him the envelope, turn around, and walk away.
Just lay it all out. Tell him he's the most important person in your life and its horrible seeing the friendship end so abruptly. Tell him that maybe you've been blind or denying it, but the time and "distance" has made you realize that he's the one for you. That nothing can be worse that what you feel right now and it made you appreciate him more and want to be with him. To give "it" a try and see what happens. Tell him that if he really wants to end the friendship and go separate ways you will respect his decision but that you want the friendship and more.
Basically, just tell him what you feel. Nothing worse can happen. If anything, you might amaze and impress yourself by putting yourself out on the limb. If the limb breaks, you'll be sad and maybe a little embarrassed but you'll feel proud and powerful! Trust me. I'm a moderator. And I know a lot of sh-t.
I'm literally crying in my office. I'm terrified. That means this is what I have to do, right?
Thank you soooooo much for everything!
PS if my life were a movie, I think this would start playing right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBULAkLKfzg
Stop crying and get to it! If this is what you want, get it in motion. It'll be much easier once the ball starts rolling than sitting and thinking about it.
More advice - type the letter first so you can edit easily. Once you have a good final draft, then handwrite it. Even better, if you have a signature perfume, spray a bit on the paper. If he really feels like all guys feel about their girl "friends" he's going to melt. After that, enjoy! The next time you see him in person will be like going on a first date. Pretty cool feeling when you're with someone you've known forever!
**Disclaimer: If this does not work, you did not get any of this advice from me. Blame it on M-W instead.
P.S. Never, ever post a Debbie Gibson video on the Board again. Use this for inspiration instead . . .
If not, she'll know.
Actually got one of those "tired with games, want something more" emails myself. And if you don't want to lose it, you respond.
Okay super girly question:
If it was "meant to be" wouldn't it not be this hard? If he cared about me wouldn't he have said something by now? When you love something this much do you fight for it or do you let it go and leave it up to the universe to handle?
Good thing this is the pos-bang thread.
Hollywood myths. All the best stuff is the hardest and takes the most work. And guys are just as chicken as girls, so if you haven't said it all out there, why would he have? If anything, that is part of the relationship women control. Another myth- that you just know it right away. Sure, there are cases it happens. But just as often it's not the fireworks that slowly fade, but the things that slowly build into something great.
Another one - It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Crap. One hurts, and the other doesn't matter at all. But the former pales into what's really true....
Edit: Too....narrow....for....gifs....
Of all the words of mice or men, the saddest are "It might have been"
Not knowing...or wishing you did? That's what will REALLY haunt you. For a lifetime. Rejection, pain? You get over that. What if...? That'll stick with you.
interesting to follow throughout my day. Jen, please keep us updated on what happens! I need to know now. Now go get this guy!
Agreed. Best of luck, Jen, and we want to know all about it!
hmmm then he'd knwo that i bought him a ticket to bamabowl when i bought mien (i knew someone who knew someone and got them from the AD)--dipped into my savinags to get it for him bc he said he couldnt afford to go. oh PS thsi is while he was still withhis exgf. he has no idea. OHWELL
bahaha. let's be honest, i love him. aslso for drunk posting see my twitterl. ooopsdf
So methinks you doth protest too much. And Profit is right, at this point, is a bf-gf break up going to be any worse than this? If it's anything like most relationships, it'll give you lots of reasons to start not liking each other and making a break up easier. Things don't get real till you're laying naked next to someone.
But yeah, you may have told him that exact line, and he's not going to repeat it back. No guy I know is going to tell a woman he loves her unless he's IN love with her. And as said before, knows he's not going to freak anyone out by doing it. Guys don't "love" their girl-friends....just their girlfriends.
Continuing my advice through video (because it's funny, but it's true)-
But I didn't mean just the sex. I just meant a relationship that would include things like that. And not just all the shoulder crying and fun hang outs that never grew into a relationship that was more romantic.
Edit: I also have to agree with the competitive nature of it. There is something exciting about the chase. But I feel for the ladies too. I've been rejected far more times than I've had to reject someone (part of being a guy; partly having champagne tastes on a beer budget), but as much as it sucks to be dumped or whatever, it's far worse (for me anyway) to tell someone "yeah, I like you...but not that much." I'd rather be the hunter than the hunted.
Hey now, don't bad mouth the beer.
Yup, it's the valium.