Guess the Presser
November 28th, 2011 at 2:12 PM ^
"I am the second best recruiter in football. Damn I wish I wouldn't have said anything about Greg Mattison."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:13 PM ^
... he's never been affiliated with Papa John
That, or he thinks he can improve on ohio state's student-athlete arrest ratio.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:15 PM ^
"I have it on good authority that Braxton paid for his tatoo. Until I hear otherwise, he will be out starter!"
November 28th, 2011 at 2:16 PM ^
"Tim Tebows not walking through that door"
November 28th, 2011 at 3:46 PM ^
why not? elway will cut him in about 6 weeks. he'd likely make a great video/prayer coordinator. start working his way up to qb coach.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:16 PM ^
unlike my last job, there is no way I'm going to quit when the going gets tough."
November 28th, 2011 at 3:33 PM ^
No, Coach Hoke has "Well" patented for starting a sentence, so Urban will have to come up with something else.
November 28th, 2011 at 7:28 PM ^
It's a running patent belonging to the head football coach at the University of Michigan (Lloyd Carr shoutout).
November 28th, 2011 at 9:04 PM ^
Ah you're right. He starts out by saying "Deeeeerrrrppppp....
November 28th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
Meanwhile, somewhere near Columbus . . . a caller prepares to dial up 1460 AM to complain that they just hired a guy who couldn’t even win the MAC.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
We will be back in the BCS , in two years....when we're eligible to play in bowls again.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:22 PM ^
you will be proud of how many players have been arrested.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:30 PM ^
"Tim Tebows not walking through that door""
Hi Timmy
November 28th, 2011 at 2:26 PM ^
I am in no way, and have never been, affiliated with...
November 28th, 2011 at 2:27 PM ^
"Michigan is just another game. Theyre all important."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:28 PM ^
"Michigan is just another game. Theyre all important."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:29 PM ^
"Michigan is just another game. Theyre all important."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:31 PM ^
Gordon Gee: "I'm very proud to have been hired by Coach Meyer as the current president of Ohio State."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:31 PM ^
Oh shit, i triple posted, does that mean urban will say it 3 times. That will piss off the buckeyes for sure lol.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:33 PM ^
Joking aside, he'll probably say that he'll bring a national championship to Ohio State and make it the best program in the country.
I'm actually somewhat scared with the idea of what Miller could do in his system. That's the only real thing that gets me so far.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:58 PM ^
Oh my god, he'll be so electric. He may just rush for 1200 yards. Until he gets broken in half by the big ten.
November 28th, 2011 at 3:20 PM ^
did you happen to watch the game on Saturday? He ran for 100 yards agains a pretty good defense.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:35 PM ^
He'll say:
"Its too bad the Michigan job wasn't available, Ann Arbor is much nicer than Columbus is. So now I'm here"
fin
November 28th, 2011 at 2:36 PM ^
"I'm going to immediately hit the road and start looking for talent. I'll be starting at the Alpha Chi Omega house tonight."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:55 PM ^
Rim shot for you!
November 28th, 2011 at 3:21 PM ^
For Urban too.
November 30th, 2011 at 1:41 PM ^
another for you!
November 28th, 2011 at 2:38 PM ^
Wouldn't be surprised to hear him say something about visiting our spring training.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:39 PM ^
November 28th, 2011 at 2:41 PM ^
...very lame and P.C. He'll compliment Michigan, and gush over all of our coaches, and will congratulate them on bringing the rivalry back, because they don't want to just beat Michigan (POUNDS FIST), they want to beat a good Michigan team.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:43 PM ^
chest pains and will require a leave of absence until April. Good Night Columbus-
November 28th, 2011 at 2:46 PM ^
November 28th, 2011 at 2:54 PM ^
Urban: "My heart is acting up again, hey you, co-ed, why don't we go to my office so that you can check it out."
Co-ed: "Oh, hey, ummmmm, heheh I go to Ohio so I don't really know what side of the body the heart is on, lol, hearts, smiley face"
Urban: "Why don't I teach you?. Why don't you go ahead and take your shirt off so I can help you find your heart?"
Co-ed: "Hehe ok, if you say so, xoxox. You seem trustworthy lol, hearts."
Urban: *evil cackle*
November 28th, 2011 at 2:54 PM ^
Would be sweet if Ohio has been telling Meyer that the NCAA is not coming down on them just so he'll sign then WHAM, Bowl bans/Recruiting restriction. They've been lying about everything else why stop now.
Seriously, maybe Urban says his player arrest record won't follow him at OSU, he'll promise not to tell recruits that "God" told him to come to OSU and players will not get rides/tats bought for them....Hell nevermind OSU has found the perfect coach for them.
November 28th, 2011 at 3:02 PM ^
He will save all the good one liners for halftime of the Duke - OSU basketball game. Book it.
November 28th, 2011 at 2:58 PM ^
...sitting on my cooler when God told me he wanted me to coach in the world's largest toilet, The Horseshoe."
November 28th, 2011 at 2:59 PM ^
"...and as my first official act as head coach, I am terminating Gordon Gee effective immediately."
November 28th, 2011 at 3:02 PM ^
deservedly facing years' worth of sanctions and other penalties, I promise to stick it out here for a minimum of ten years. The terms of my contract will not be made public and are not subject to Ohio's "sunshine" laws since it was negotiatied in secret in Bolivia."
November 28th, 2011 at 3:01 PM ^
As much humor as I find in the Urban+Co-Eds stories, is there any basis to this? Similar to the CRAIG JAMES DID INDEED not KILL FIVE HOOKERS, I'm jw where it started!
November 28th, 2011 at 3:10 PM ^
that Craig James did not kill five hookers? I disagree.
November 28th, 2011 at 4:02 PM ^
Urban's "stress" being caused by the consequences of hooking up with a co-ed is a very popular rumor in G'ville. The other, less-popular one is that alums, led by Scot and John Brantley III, pressured Meyer to change his offense for double-legacy QB John Brantley IV
I'm guessing both contributed. In this day and age, though, I am very surprised that a high-profile college coach could keep an affair with a coed quiet. So, even though it sounds more likely on the surface, I am still trying to figure out how it could have happened with no publicity.
Ultimately, though, since the co-ed rumor will yank a Buckeye's chain much more effectively than the other one, I now "believe" the co-ed rumor. Since I would imagine that Meyer is soon to make the transition from "beloved former coach" to persona non grata in G'ville, maybe we'll see more coming out of there soon.
November 28th, 2011 at 3:08 PM ^
He announces its ok to call him just Coach because the Ohio fan base can't accept they hired a guy with the initials "UM"
November 28th, 2011 at 3:26 PM ^
"This would be the only job I would get back into coaching for."
"I talked to my family and we made the decision together."
November 28th, 2011 at 3:51 PM ^
all I hear is "blah blah blah money blah blah I'm a dick blah blah"
November 28th, 2011 at 3:33 PM ^
This is Michigan, fer godsakes!
November 28th, 2011 at 3:36 PM ^
That was Michigan, fer godsakes!
November 28th, 2011 at 3:47 PM ^
He will announce that 1/4 of all ESPN on-air CFB personalities will be joining his staff - Spielman as LB coach, Smith as RB coach, Herbstreit and Co-Ed coordinator, and Corso as, ah fuck it.
November 28th, 2011 at 4:01 PM ^
he'll end up saying something to the effect that he'll run a clean program. i think his current agenda aside from shoring up dunn and other last second 5 star recruits is to send a message to the ncaa that he'll "take care of things" to avoid major penalties.
my hope is by the time it crawls out from under the penalties this arrogant, win at all costs program justifiably deserves, meyer will be starting to flame out and get tired just like he did at florida.