Sorry Guys...

Sorry Guys...

Submitted by 1464 on April 9th, 2011 at 11:55 PM

Sooo...yesterday, in that thread we weren't supposed to pick Michigan to win, I unloaded this doozy.  I was strictly doing this to ruffle the feathers of all those 2012ers who think that what we say will effect the outcome of the game.

I, for one, am pretty confident that we will win this game.  I also think it is time that the refs start calling the game in our favor, so I think we will also get the beneficial edge in calls.  I also can't imagine us losing the game in overtime, I am completely sure that will not happen. 

Triple jinx.  Ouch.  Gentlemen, as I'm sure that you'll need a whipping boy, I volunteer myself.  If it helps, I can force myself to feel pretty confident that Denard will not win the Heisman, and we will lose to OSU in football this year.

The TWIS Razor

The TWIS Razor

Submitted by Meeechigan Dan on November 24th, 2010 at 10:06 AM

I can honestly say that, deep inside, I haven’t entertained the idea that Rich Rodriguez should be replaced this year. And, as you all know, Meeechigan Dan was routinely consulted by Bill Martin and, quite frankly, is on David Brandon’s speed dial. It’s a heavy responsibility that I shoulder for all of you.

Last year, firing RR occurred to me more than once during the slide because his offensive genius was theoretical. This year, it is fact. In September, I formally acknowledged this genius, and the lack thereof on the other side of the ball. Fortunately, for the rational, there is perspective…

 

One of my favorite features is This Week in Schadenfreude (TWIS). When any of my teams is winning big games/playoff series, I gluttonously partake in the ‘freude, trolling competitive sites, rarely commenting, but soaking in the complaints about officiating, lucky bounces and questionable coaching decisions like Thomas Covenent in Andelain. Let’s face it, the ‘freude is what it’s all about; it is “Little Brother” and 2-10-1; it is watching damefan1’s videos and was Manningham’s catch against Penn State; it is the coin in which fans are paid for their loyalty.

 

For schadenfreude to have gravitas, a team must dominate over time. Red Wings schadenfreude is classic example; the spitting hatred of the unwashed directed at a dynasty is a fine wine to be enjoyed. Conversely, is such a thing as Lions schadenfreude even possible? No.

MSU currently enjoys a certain cheap ‘freude, like a bad pool player who pockets the nine ball on a lucky combination; no one with a larger view of the contest expects the less-skilled player’s luck to hold up and his “Nyah, nyah, nyah!” will soon be forgotten, decorum will return, and order restored to the universe. On the other hand, OSU has become a stuffy commodities firm trading in an endless supply of Michigan schadenfreude by the container car, moving it from train depot to seaport to FedEx hub with a certain dry efficiency; all we can think about is that, being first to the buffet table of decade long dominance, we didn’t extract our proper, sustaining share of the ‘freude in the 90s and now it’s gone forever, to be quietly laughed at by any Buckeye fan hearing our plea.

I tip my hat to the author of TWIS for obvious reasons, but Mr. Cook deserves subtle credit for something more: TWIS emphatically argues that RR should be retained.

From the narrow view of a football fanatic, the stupidity of the coaching staff always seems like a reasonable proposition and the coaching change “fix” that is universally talked about in TWIS a GPS-equipped life raft floating off the bow of the Titanic. One fanbase’s coaching complaint appears to be justifiable rage and frustration. Collectively, the sameness of fans’ contempt for coaches that had been formerly praised is bipolar.

Look at the last dozen or so national champions:

 

Year Team Coach
1997 Michigan Car
1998 Tennessee Fulmer
1999 FSU Bowden
2000 Oklahoma Stoops
2001 Miami Coker
2002 OSU Tressel
2003 USC Carroll
2004 USC Carroll
2005 Texas Brown
2006 Florida Meyer
2007 LSU Miles
2008 Florida Meyer
2009 Alabama Saban

 

Stoops, Meyer, Brown, Miles, Bowden, Fulmer, Carr and even Tressel. I don’t have the dedication to journey back to those championship years and catalog the glowing quotes describing the brilliance of Urban Meyer and Bob Stoops, the seasoned wisdom of Mack Brown and Bobby Bowden, the eclectic genius of Les Miles, but they exist. And while they have yet to lift the ugliest trophy in sports, we’ve all breathlessly heard about rising stars Brian Kelly, Greg Schiano. Mark Richt, Randy Edsall, Jeff Tedford and, yes, Rich Rodriguez. Glowing comments about brilliant coaches at the peak of their skills.

Urban can't be happy and he can't reload the spread option with a prostyle quarterback. He can't go prostyle with an offense built for the spread option with speed backs. He is stuck in a mediocre second tier hybrid offense. If Urban can't fix this, I expect he will leave. Does anyone see a solution for this year or next year?

This year’s performance is not just the worst job of coaching we have seen in the Mack Brown era, it is without any real question at all one of the very worst coaching jobs in modern football history.  I can’t think of a single instance in which any coaching staff has done less with more talent or inherent program advantages than this staff has accomplished this season.

A combo here!

Is Les Miles a better college football coach than Bobn Stoops?

When Bob looks into the mirror tonight, he will see a glimpse of someone who quit

 

I hate you, Brian Kelly. I hate your fucking lesbian golfer visor. I hate your fucking offense that looks like Oregon’s offense on quaaludes and holds the ball for 2.5 minutes a game. I hate your fucking Dance of the Backup Quarterbacks playcalling system. I hate your fucking Baaaaaahston accent as you blame the players and get high on the smell of your own fucking farts.

(All quotes above taken from the TWIS weekly column.)

And more. From 30,000 feet, I gaze upon the sameness of serious football fans suggesting that once brilliant men have lost that brilliance and become Gerry Faust overnight. William of Occam might suggest that, if a successful coach remains the same and the players change, it’s the players that are responsible for the change in fortunes. Particularly when great players are replaced by young or less talented players.

About mid season, TWIS was a slap in the face for me, a realization that definitely proven coaching commodities do not become dumb overnight. Yes, perhaps there are structural reasons for hard times (the game passing you by [Bowden, Carr], personal issues [maybe Meyer], selecting bad DCs [RR], etc.) and those are fair game; RR’s fate ultimately hangs on his management of the defense, which is, I hope for my mgopoint total, ironic. But RR was a proven coach at WVU authoring one of the most revolutionary performances against Oklahoma, and he has duplicated that offensive success under duress at Michigan. Yes, his decision-making on defense concerns every one of us, but he is responsible for Jeff Casteel (not vise versa), and should have another two years to figure that out.

Gotta go. Brandon is calling.

Brian - Need some TWIS ammo?

Brian - Need some TWIS ammo?

Submitted by 1464 on November 7th, 2010 at 11:02 AM

This may be the best internet rant I've seen, ever?   It tackles virginity, weight lifting, money, stereotypes, caps lock, misspelling, and symboled out swear words... it's... perfect.  Courtesy of the Illinois Rivals free board...

 

YOU HATERS OF ANOTHERS THOGHTS ARE BITCHES. I KNOW NONE OF YOU GET SEX. I KNOW NONE OF YOU LIFT WEIGHTS. I KNOW NONE OF GOT MONEY. I KNOW NONE OF YOU GOT A LIFE. WHAT KIND OF BITCH CRIES ABOUT CAPS? THIS FORUM IS FOR FOLLOWERS. B!TCHES WHO CO SIGNS ONEANOTHERS THOUGHTS. @#%$ SUCKERS IF YOU WILL. I WOULD LOVE TO VISIT YOU B!TCHES DOWN IN YOUR RED NECK ,COUNTRY, FARMING PART OF ILLINOIS. BUT YOU ARE YELLOW BACK COWARDS. I AM A REAL MAN WITH REAL THINGS TO SAY. YOU WHO HATED ON ME ARE ALL @#%$ SUCKING, DADDYFCKING,COWARD ASS,CAPS OFF BITCHES. YOU CANT KICK ME OFF THIS FORUM I CHOOSE TO LEAVE. GO SUCK NICK SMITHS @#[email protected] AND TELL HIM HE'S GOOD. YOUR IN LOVE WITH SKINNY ASS WHITE BOYS WHO GET BEAT DOWN. YOU MUST HATE BIG BLACK MEN DOWN LOW. YOU ALL ARE FAKE ASS FANS. THATS WHY YOUR ALL LIVING LIKE YOU DO. YOU LOSERS. DONT EVEN RESPOND B$TCHES. IM GONE. IM GOING TO COME DOWN THERE AND @#%$ YOUR DREAM GIRLS YOU HILLBILLIES.

Also, while I pretend to have your attention, there is one stat I haven't seen about the game yesterday... was 65 the most points a team has ever scored in a losing effort?  I've seen all the combined point total stats, but I'd have to go out on a limb and say that scoring 65 points and losing has to put you at the top of a list somewhere...

EDIT: I guess this actually isn't in reference to the Michigan game.  This is the 5th most recent post on the Illinois board, but it came from April of this year... that's pretty pathetic.

This Week in Schadenfreude (TWIS) now up at SBN

This Week in Schadenfreude (TWIS) now up at SBN

Submitted by oriental andrew on September 14th, 2010 at 2:09 PM

Week 2 TWIS is finally up!

http://www.sbnation.com/2010/9/14/1686138/this-week-in-schadenfreude-fcs

As expected, Tears of Unfathomable Sadness go to VT (with a twist!).  You'll have to click through to find out who is Scott Tenorman and the winner of the internet.