How Hot is Denard - A Scientific Inquiry

How Hot is Denard - A Scientific Inquiry

Submitted by Blazefire on January 6th, 2013 at 2:14 AM

The end of Denard Robinson's Michigan Football career leaves us to ask many important questions into what his time here meant, in so many different ways. We can ask wherre his stats rank among all time greats. We can ask if he will ever be equalled. We can ask about intangibles and what he meant to the program. But I intend to answer a much more lasting question. How hot is Denard Robinson?

Yes, everybody wants a piece of Denard, and who could blame them? But that's not good enough. Below, you will find a scientific inquiry into the actual heat of one Denard Robinson.

In order to answer this question, we must establish a few points. First, Mirriam-Webster defines a calorie as such:

a : the amount of heat required at a pressure of one atmosphere to raise the temperature of one gram of water one degree Celsius

Two (Wikipedia):

Blood is approximately 92% Water by volume.

Your heart volume is approximately 280cm3, or .28 liters.

Therefore, your heart contains approximately .2576 liters of water, or 257.6 grams.

According to super-reputable web sources (http://www.nutristrategy.com/activitylist3.htm), a 180lbs man burns the following number of calories while running.

Miles per Hour Calories Per Hour Calories Per Mile
Running Calories Burned
5 654 130.8
5.2 735 141.3
6 817 136.2
6.7 899 134.2
7 940 134.3
7.5 1022 136.3
8 1103 137.9
8.6 1144 133.0
9 1226 136.2
10 1308 130.8
10.9 1471 135.0

As you can see, Calories do not increase per distance as speed increases, giving us an average of approximately 135.5 Calories per mile or .026 calories per foot (.077 Calories per yard)

Denard Robinson's Carreer rushing stats, as retrieved from ESPN.com:

Denard Robinson Career Rushing
2009 351
2010 1702
2011 1176
2012 1266
Total 4495

 

 

 

 

 

Add in about 1000 lateral yards and Denard Robinson finishes with a total of 5495 yards run inside gameday football stadiums.

A quick bit of math at .077 cals/yard X 5495 yards = 4231.15

4231.15 / the 257.6 grams of blood in your heart = 16.425 degrees celcius or 61.565 farenheit. Added to regular body temperature of 98.6? 160.165.

The American Burn Association has this to say:

How hot is Denard Robinson? He makes your heart burn, baby. He makes your heart burn.

EDIT: My late night, drunk-ass math skills fail me. I'm sorry to say this, but Denard does not make your heart burn. He only warms it.

5495 yrd x .077 cals per yard = 423.15 cals/257.6 grams of water = 1.64 degrees celcius, or just enough to send you to bed with feverish sweats. Somehow... that seems hotter to me.