MANBAWW FOOTBAWW Is Beginning To Warm My Aorta

MANBAWW FOOTBAWW Is Beginning To Warm My Aorta

Submitted by jhackney on September 8th, 2011 at 11:29 PM

It was a cold winter. Not just because the mercury in my thermometer froze, but because I felt Jack Frost nipping my aorta. The 2010 season ending in disaster sent me into seclusion in an undisclosed location. For what it’s worth, Dick Cheney is a horrible bunk mate and cheats like hell at Risk. I was lost for months being dissatisfied with the Gator Bowl Massacre, the ensuing drama of Rich Rodriguez firing, and HOKE being hired in his stead. My theory was that if you are going to fire a coach, make sure the next guy is better. HOKE to me at the time fell way below this standard. I thought he’d make a good run at the WWE giving the people’s pointer, but not for head ball coach at the University of Michigan. I dropped away from MGoBlog for the winter/spring/and most of the summer. Although I had many items on my plate such as world domination, running up my phone bill on a suicide hotline, and practicing the French Horn in my hang out to piss off Cheney.

 

After leaving my bunker and pleasantly surprise that the nuclear radiation was fairly low, I began thawing my icy demeanor to prepare for the upcoming season. I began surfing through the posts of MGoBlog for motivation. Even though the quality of the posts was high, I needed something more. I loaded the canoe, grabbed my closest confidant, dipped into my suitcase of goodies and took to Bearwallow Pond. Bearwallow Pond is home to the most fierce man eating chain pickerel known to man. As I came to peace with myself battling the forces of evil and experiencing a full blown visionquest that would make Jack Kerouac blush, I realized that I must buy into MANBAWW FOOTBAWW or never be a Michigan fan once again. I chose the former because not being a Michigan football fan is forfeiting your soul. If I wasn’t a Michigan football fan, I would be destined to hang out in Columbus being a Blue Hornet’s groupie and bestowing myself a wife that I will only meet in the realm of World of Warcraft named Grundela.

September 3rd, 2011. The long cold offseason is over. I finally get to see the maize and blue streak out onto the feet. Unfortunately, I could not see them due to the heavy haze that settled into Midwest that threatened to pose serious health problems to Gorgeous Borges. It was hotter than a pair of monkey balls in July. The on the field reporter had a gadget that looked similar to a speedometer. She claimed it was to read the temperature on the ground. I then became convinced that it was a speedometer when it read 131. That was definitely Denard just walking by.

The first quarter drive by Western Michigan brought back flashes of beavers, atomic bombs, sad kittens, and death. I witnessed a MAC team slice through the Michigan defense like I had many times before. This time was different though. I did not have razor blades and salt readied for added pain because I held out hope err…HOKE. Thankfully the touchdown by Michigan at the beginning of the second brought me back from the edge.

At the beginning of the second quarter I also noticed that Carder was having difficulties with audibles. I have not attended a game since the finalization of the renovations (soon to change). I was pleasantly surprised that opposing teams may now have to worry about hearing the correct calls before snapping the ball. Lay the largest library bullshit to rest.

Western Michigan again began exacting a slow painful mauling of a defense again in the middle of second quarter. It looked as if the defense once again was helpless as earthworms after a rainstorm before the turning point of the game came in the form of a 94 yard interception return for a TD by Brandon Herron. After I completed a whole rearrangement of my house in a reenactment of the Herron return, much to my roommates chagrin, I had a different feeling in the pit of my large intestine. Something broke in favor of the Wolverines at a time when it was desperately needed. It was a fix that was finally met after a three year withdrawal that put most Wolverine fans in Nirvana.

After the turning point in the game, WMU began to cave. I find myself more empathetic for self destructing behaviors after witnessing a horror show full of them these past three years. This may explain my deep connection to self mutilators, Jersey Shore fans, and ohio citizens.

Gibbons is an animal. Not in the way that separates someone for exceptional accolades, but an animal in that he has instincts for inclement weather. After Michigan’s third TD, Gibbons sensed the Monsoonpocalypse barreling down the I-96 corridor.  He missed an extra point. We should have respected his all powerful warning because the series of storms that followed wreaked havoc on the stairs and fabrics that occupied the Big House.

After one restart and another delay, Brandon showed the WMU athletic director his pimp hand and the game was finished. Although the game was a washout win, many fans in and out of the rainpocalypse felt refreshed. There was a new buzz in the air. A buzz filled with HOKE. The defense became aggressive unlike ever before in the A.C. era. (After Carr). Kovacs proved that his blood lust was not a fluke as he single handily made Carder crawl into a fetal position headless, The kicking game was ok?, no beavers were spotted or harmed in the game, and no one feared a Josh Groban rendition. Rainbows, happiness, and FOOTBAWWW had returned to Michigan, or did it?

I can speak for myself and I am sure many others are in agreement when through all the celebrating in the American traditional way of killing brain cells with multiple substances at a single time, there lingered a itching worry that this may be the same feeling of after the UConn 2010 win. Notre Dame will be the next test. They have plenty of talent but a habit of Plaxico Burressing themselves in the foot. The defense will surely get a test and save any other bat shit crazy act from mother nature, this will be the first full game of the season. Which means the first fourth quarter of the season. If Gibbons starts missing extra points, head for the hills. If Brian Kelly has an aneurism and collapses on his face, stick around.

We shall be one step closer to finding out if we have caught some wind in our sails to the promised land, or if we will continue to wallow in our own poop deck.

 

-Go Blue

 

P.S. Due to insane first week of work, pictures and videos have been excluded. Please don’t hold it against me. I'll find you.

Baseball BTT: It's Iowa Again

Baseball BTT: It's Iowa Again

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on May 29th, 2010 at 12:40 AM

 should have won 
Brosnahan Dealing
Photo by
MGoBlue.com

Michigan
(35-21, 15-11)

vs

Iowa
(29-27, 15-12)

Saturday 3:35pm ET
Bill Davis Stadium
Columbus, OH

TBA vs TBA
Stats Audio   TV:BTN  
Notes: Michigan is 102-45 all time.
Iowa is 2-1 in the tourney, 0-1 vs UM.

Season Series

2-5

3-5

 

7-5

18-4

Michigan lost to Minnesota 4-3 in 11 innings in one of the most thrilling Big Ten Baseball games in this writer's recent memory. The loss was pretty tough to take, but at the same time, Michigan doesn't seem to be stunned. The Wolverines will face Iowa in the loser's bracket for a chance to face Minnesota again in the Championship rounds.

Follow the jump for extremely abbreviated preview.

Baseball BTT: Iowa Recap & Minnesota Preview

Baseball BTT: Iowa Recap & Minnesota Preview

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on May 28th, 2010 at 12:07 AM

 nick uban goes kayak 
Nick Urban, Going Yard.
Photo by
MGoBlue.com

Michigan
(35-20, 15-10)

vs

Minnesota
(28-28, 16-9)

Friday 7:00pm ET
Bill Davis Stadium
Columbus, OH

Bobby Brosnahan vs TJ Oakes
Stats Audio   TV:BTN  
Notes: Michigan is 85-86 all time.
Minnesota is 1-0 in the tourney.

Season Series

Minnesota Recap

7-14

 

4-5

2-1

Michigan defeated Iowa in an absolutely dominating performance, winning 18-4. With the win, Michigan moves on in the winner's bracket to face the #1 seed Minnesota Golden Gophers. For Iowa recap and a look at Minnesota, follow the jump.

Baseball: Northwestern Recap

Baseball: Northwestern Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on May 17th, 2010 at 12:06 AM

the captains Oh Captains, My Captains

That just happened. Michigan wins the series 2-1 on the most stunning senior day in recent memory. This series has it all - A pitcher's duel, a stunning heart breaker, a come-from-behind win on senior day featuring the two co-captains completing a walk off. If you have ever been a baseball fan, this was the series for you.

Game One

Box Score R H E
Northwestern 0 1 0   1 0 1   0 0 0   3 9 3
Michigan 2 0 0   0 0 1   1 0 x   4 10 0

W – Gerbe (2-0)… Save – Burgoon (9)

Game one was the pitchers' duel. Michigan managed the early lead thanks to a leadoff walk of Patrick Biondi. After going to third on a perfectly placed hit and run by Toth, going right through the hole vacated by the second baseman, LaMarre would knock him in on a would-be double play, but Northwestern's second baseman double clutched, giving LaMarre just enough time to beat out the throw. After Berset's single, Crank would line out deep to left, gaining an easy sacrifice fly, and Michigan led 2-0.

oaks

Alan Oaks was on the mound for Michigan and had a pretty good game. In his 6 innings of work, he gave up 7 hits and 3 runs. Two of those came in the form of solo home runs by Northwestern's third baseman Chris Lashmet. The third run also involved Lashmet. In the 6th, he would single and score on a Zach Morton double that screamed past a diving Lorenz and took a strange hop off the wall, evading Ryan LaMarre in left.

LaMarre would lead the response for Michigan, knocking a triple off the center field wall. This set up Chris Berset up for an easy RBI single.

Oaks would open the 7th with a hard hit double, and the bullpen would take over for Oaks after that, with the game tied at 3 a piece. Gerbe would give up a sac bunt to move the runner to third, but Mike Dufek made a great play on a slow roller by the next batter to gun the runner trying to score and preserve the tie.

In the bottom of the 7th, Biondi got the offense started on a two-out rally. His walk was followed by back-to-back singles by Toth and LaMarre to bring in a run. With the lead, 4-3, it was all Burgoon from here on out.

Notable Stars

  • The Pen – 3 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 1 K, W, Save
  • Anthony Toth – 3/4
  • Ryan LaMarre – 2/4, 2 R, 2 RBI, 3B
  • Game Time: 2 hours 35 minutes
  • Attendance: 1385

Notable Goats

  • Coley Crank – 0/3 RBI, 3 LOB, SACF

The rest of the series, including the THRILLING CONCLUSION, after the jump.

Baseball: Northwestern Preview

Baseball: Northwestern Preview

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on May 14th, 2010 at 3:55 PM

Michigan (29-18, 10-8)

vs

Northwestern (21-27, 10-8)


Friday 6:35pm ET, Ray Fisher Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI
Alan Oaks (4-5, 3.75 ERA) vs Eric Jokisch (4-5, 4.59 ERA)
Stats Audio (WCBN)   BTN.com ($)  
Notes: Michigan is 108-27 all time, Last year: 1-2 series loss. Jokisch
is a LHP.

Michigan

vs

Northwestern


Saturday 1:05 ET, Ray Fisher Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI
Bobby Brosnahan(5-4, 4.64 ERA) vs Francis Brooke (5-3, 4.28 ERA)
Stats Audio (MGo)   BTN.com ($)  
Notes:

Michigan

vs

Northwestern


Sunday 1:05pm ET, Ray Fisher Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI
TBA vs TBA
Stats Audio (MGo)   BTN.com ($)  
Notes: Could see Katzman or Sinnery.

It's the first round of Big Ten Elimination as we've reached the final two weeks of regular season Big Ten baseball. Michigan faces one of the three other teams tied for the Big Ten lead in the Northwestern Wildcats, a team with a solid pitching staff and a surprisingly decent offense that came together just in time for conference play. This is also a series for revenge as Northwestern was the team to knock Michigan out of the Big Ten Tournament in 2009. Vengeance must be had.

Quick look at the midweek game against Michigan State, as well as a preview of Northwestern after the jump:

Baseball: Minnesota Recap

Baseball: Minnesota Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on May 9th, 2010 at 6:55 PM


What a dump…

Michigan took it on the chin this weekend, dropping two games to open the series at Minnesota, but they battled back to win a close game three and keep pace with the Big Ten Joneses. Recaps, thoughts, and the opening stanza to a MICHIGAN STATE HATE mid-week series after the jump. And no, no pretty pictures as baseball can't be pretty in the Metrodome.

Baseball: Conference Midpoint Recap

Baseball: Conference Midpoint Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on April 25th, 2010 at 11:43 PM

Side Note: Derek Dennis's status is day-to-day with an undisclosed injury.

With half of the Big Ten regular season complete, it's time to take a look at the conference to see where Michigan is and what it will take to get a good seed in the Big Ten Tournament. In this post, we'll walk through the series we've already completed and then look at the opponents we still have on the schedule.

So, for all you late comers to the baseball season, here's what you need to know.

Where We've Been

@Indiana

Series Record

2-1

Indiana Recap

Scores

16-10

6-4

6-26

Game One

Wild and crazy high scoring affair as it goes back and forth
after Michigan was all but dead early. Dufek wins it in the
10th with a RBI double. Two bench clearings. Crazy.

Game Two

Brosnahan is sporadic but his emotion carries him through
for the win in a well pitched game by both teams. Michigan's
early lead is enough to get by.

Game Three

Katzman makes the start and can't get through the first. Yours
truly quits the game early as Michigan was down 17.

Outlook Then

For as exciting and tense as the first two games of the series
were, the last game left a sour taste in the mouth. IU was
better than expected and Leininger is the real deal.

While not much has changed in terms of outlook, Indiana hasn't turned out just as good as I expected either. They've been quite inconsistent, with their top hitters going ice cold the weak after they torched us. That freeze of course happened against Ohio State, giving the Buckeyes a pretty easy 2-1 series victory. They did sweep Iowa, though, something Michigan couldn't do.

Purdue

Series Record

2-1

Purdue Recap

Scores

5-8

6-4

9-4

Game One

Alan Oaks continued to struggle and Michigan could do nothing
with Purdue's Matt Bischoff in the loss.

Game Two

Big inning early and a solid Brosnahan start allows Michigan to
coast to a victory with Burgoon locking down the 8-9th.

Game Three

Brandon Sinnery gets his first start and makes good. A 7-run
4th inning caps off Ryan LaMarre's POTW winning series.

Outlook Then

Michigan is going to continue to make decent to good pitchers
look great. We're hitting well overall though, and attendance
has been great. We'll take 2-1 if the loss is Bischoff.

The loss to Bischoff is still nothing to worry about. It really would have helped for Michigan to get a sweep. Ohio State isn't on their schedule, but I'm not sure if that helps or hurts us. Purdue may be able to steal a game from the Buckeyes, or they may get blown out in all three.

@Illinois

Series Record

2-1

Illinois Recap

Scores

17-1

2-6

11-4

Game One

Alan Oaks is back! 8 innings of great pitching and the offense
explodes for 17 runs? We're rolling.

Game Two

The bats fall asleep and Brosnahan has his shaky start that
should be good enough for a win. Bad defense doesn't help.

Game Three

After 3 ugly innings by both teams, Tyler Burgoon steps in and
shuts down the Illini for Pitcher OTW honors. Offense explodes
late, sparked by POTW Patrick Biondi.

Outlook Then

2-1 series win over a BTT contender will work. We really had
a good chance to sweep if offense can stay consistent.

Things haven't changed much here in a week. Illinois lost 2 of 3 at Michigan State, which means the Spartans are just keeping pace with us.

Iowa

Series Record

1-2

Iowa Recap

Scores

2-5

3-5

7-5

Game One

Jarred Hippen is really good. He overshadowed anything
Michigan related in this game.

Game Two

Due to rain in the forecast, it was a double header, & Hippen
momentum carried right through game 2. Michigan grabbed an
early lead then blew a big inning. Brosnahan's luck runs dry.

Game Three

Michigan jumps ahead and, for the most part, stays ahead.
Offense finally shows up late in the game.

Outlook Then

1-2 isn't going to cut it. Losing one to Iowa in the Hippen
start would have been alright. Letting game 2 get away
shows lack of leadership.

That happened. Nothing has happened in our season and it still stings. I can't wait for this weekend to come so I can get it out of my head. Plus, the Buckeyes did us a favor losing a home series to Penn State just so we could keep pace.

After the jump, we look at the present and then haphazardly predict the future.

Baseball: Notre Dame Recap

Baseball: Notre Dame Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on April 22nd, 2010 at 3:46 PM

he catches this Web Gem Happens. (photo from MGoBlue)

Michigan took two games against a weak opponent that is still looking to wake the echoes and return to glory from their days when Paul Mainieri, current coach at LSU, was still in South Bend. In Notre Dame's first visit to Ann Arbor since 1977, Michigan won a closely contested game, and the next night, the Wolverines pounded out a huge win.

Abbreviated midweek recaps and thoughts after the jump.

Baseball: Illinois Recap

Baseball: Illinois Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on April 18th, 2010 at 9:30 PM

 oaks stare down

Guess who's back? Courtesy of Illinois Baseball Report

Michigan (22-12) went into Champaign looking to keep pace with the league leaders and came out with a 2-1 series victory over the Illini to keep a hold of their first place tie with the Buckeyes at 6-3 in conference. The series definitely had some wild moments, including a Michigan offensive explosion on Friday accompanied by a sterling start from Oaks. That was followed up with a Michigan collapse on Saturday and a hard fought but ugly game on Sunday.

Full Recap after the jump:

Baseball: Purdue Recap

Baseball: Purdue Recap

Submitted by formerlyanonymous on April 11th, 2010 at 9:06 PM

Michigan moved to 18-11 and 4-2 in Big Ten play this weekend with a series win over Purdue at Ray Fisher Stadium, 2 games to 1. Ryan LaMarre was the big story of the weekend exploding for a 9/13 batting average in the 3-hole for your Wolverines.

UPDATE: Ryan even earned POTW honors in the Big Ten:

LaMarre earns his second career Player of the Week honor and his first this season after leading Michigan to a series win against Purdue over the weekend. The outfielder hit .692 and slugged 1.077 on the strength of three doubles and a triple vs. the Boilermakers. He also recorded three hits in every conference game, extending his hitting streak to 10 games dating back to last season. Against Central Michigan on Wednesday, LaMarre made his first start since suffering an injury at Texas Tech on Feb. 20. He went 1-for-3 with a run scored and an RBI in a 13-7 win. In eight appearances this season, LaMarre has four multi-hit games and is hitting .519 with a .704 slugging percentage.

Full recaps and series thoughts after the jump: