Twas' The Night Before The Game

Twas' The Night Before The Game

Submitted by Steve Lorenz on November 25th, 2011 at 7:46 PM

This is my pre-game contribution, hope everyone enjoys it. Special thanks to Left Hand Milk Stout: 




Twas the night before The Game, when all through the den
Not a person was sitting; everybody would stand
The memories were hung over the flat screen with care,
In hopes that the kickoff soon would be there;

The families were nestled all snug in their threads,
While visions of the Sugar Bowl danced in their heads;
The wife in her snuggie, and I in my hat,
Were getting pumped up to beat the players with tats,

When on the TV there arose such a chatter,
I sprang from the recliner to yell “What is the matter?”.
All over the room I flew like a flash,
Screaming and yelling “Kirk Herbstreit's an ass”

The moon reflecting on the grave of great Bo
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the Big House below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a defensive coordinator and coach others fear

With a defense like past that helped us evoke,
I knew in a moment it must be Coach Hoke
More rapid than Denard his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Kovacs! now, Demens! now, Morgan and Ryan!
On, Countess! on Gordon! on, Van Bergen and Martin!
To the top of the Big Ten! To a BCS bowl!
Now blitz away! blitz away! blitz away, go!"

As dry leaves that before the wild game fly,
When they meet with a Buckeye, mount to the sky,
So up to the edges the backers they flew,
With an effective scheme and confidence too

And then, in a instant, I heard on the tube
The thrashing and mashing of their running back Boom.
As I pumped both my fists, and was turning around,
Down the sidelines the Coach came with a bound.


He was dressed in short sleeves and all covered in sweat,
And he'll never wear red let us all not forget
A mangled up headset lay down on the ground
As he looked like a coach who was making them proud.

The end of a donut he held tight in his teeth,
It was plain with no sprinkles and looked like a wreath
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he yelled like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly good coach,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
Many points of his finger and twists of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the press boxes; then turned with a jerk,
And pointing his finger with the audience in tow
Gave a quick nod as they yelled “Beat O-H-I-O”

He sprang to his team, to the guys gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, after victory's delight,
"THOSE WHO STAY WILL BE CHAMPIONS, and to Ann Arbor good night!”



Here is what I imagine will happen for The Game

Here is what I imagine will happen for The Game

Submitted by Serth on November 24th, 2011 at 11:55 PM

Tomorrow, Brady Hoke makes an announcement: '#16 will not be playing in Saturday's game'.  A flurry of questions from the media are flying, rumors go crazy: WHY!?  

TSIO rejoices and quickly changes all of their defensive game planning and works overtime to prepare accordingly.

It is The Game.  The first offensive series happens for Michigan and we see Gardner takes the first snap.  It's a power run to Fitz, as he takes it 5 yards on first down.  The crowd is shocked.  TSIO feels relieved.  

But what's this?  A new lineup we haven't seen before.  Who is that coming into the game?  A #1 trots out onto the field lined up in the backfield.  It is a direct snap to #1 and he charges the line for a run, but instead drops back, and throws it spot-on downfield, in-stride, to a galloping Hemingway.  

Michigan's first Six.  That #1 is none other than Mr. Denard Robinson.


OT: RR's Welcome: Blasted in the Tucson Weekly

OT: RR's Welcome: Blasted in the Tucson Weekly

Submitted by Humen on November 23rd, 2011 at 9:22 PM

New Arizona head football coach Rich Rodriguez received an interesting welcome from the city's weekly newspaper. The story can be found here. 

The article claims that: 



Rodriguez's record is terrible—when it comes to ethics, if not on the football field. At West Virginia University, he skipped town for greener pastures shortly after signing a new contract. His December 2007 departure was so ugly that he didn't even bother to coach his team in their January 2008 bowl game. West Virginia wound up suing Rodriguez for breach of contract—and eventually got all the money it sought in a settlement.

What did Rodriguez do at his next stop, the University of Michigan? He violated several major NCAA rules. When players came forward to discuss the violations—which included Rodriguez and his staff making players practice longer than the rules allow—he denied he was in the wrong. "We go by the rules," Rodriguez said.

Later, the university admitted to the rules violations.

Now, after those disgraceful activities, he's the new UA football coach, with a five-year, $9.55 million contract—with incentives beyond that.

In making this hire, UA athletic director Greg Byrne proved the above point: At the UA, money and winning are apparently more important than academics, fairness and ethics.


For anyone who has sniffed Three and Out, this letter from the editor seems especially absurd. It really demonstrates the power of the media over the masses--and the power of the media within itself. It's a shame that Rodriguez is being welcomed in this fashion. Most of us know him as the coach who lost big at Michigan, but we also know him as a good guy who cared greatly about his players. 



What are you thankful for on Thanksgiving week?

What are you thankful for on Thanksgiving week?

Submitted by Noleverine on November 19th, 2011 at 10:32 PM


On the week of Thanksgiving, it is important to look back and consider what we are thankful for, both as human beings and Michigan football fans.

I am thankful for Brady Hoke, our tremendous head coach.  I am thankful for Mattison, our NFL DC who turned things around so much more quickly than anyone could have ever imagined.  I am grateful for Borges, who despite some disagreements we have had this season, seems to have quite a pair on him when calling plays. 

I am thankful for Mike Martin, Ryan Van Bergen, Troy Woolfolk, and the rest of the seniors for sticking with it through the most tumultuous career any players have ever had at Michigan.  I am thankful for Jordan Kovacs and his inspiring story.  I am grateful for Denard, Fitz, and the rest of the team, for representing the program in a way that would make Bo proud, and for sacrificing as much of their time as they do so that we may enjoy our Saturday afternoons.

I am thankful for 9-2 and a shot at a ten-win season.  I am grateful for a possible chance to play in a BCS bowl for the first time since '06.  I am thankful for the direction this program is heading, and the quality young men it will continue to shape.  But most of all, I am thankful for a chance to smack Ohio State in the mouth, stand over them, and let them know that “WE’RE BACK!”