Michigan All-Extracurriculars Team

Michigan All-Extracurriculars Team Comment Count

Seth June 4th, 2018 at 11:22 AM
Hi it's a Norfleet. [Bryan Fuller]

[Site notice: It happened.]

You know those “make your all-time” lists that circulate in the offseason. That inspired me to make some themed versions, sort of like how Ace made his all-Beilein teams last year. Previously: The 5-stars. This week: Extracurricular Entertainment!


Rule: This team is for those who made their contributions off the field. I don’t mean being a quiet model citizen; I mean doing things that we found entertaining, insane, or otherwise meme-worthy.

Cutoff Point: Had to exist in the Michigan consciousness during the Time of Blog (2005-present)


Quarterback: David Cone

Please still exist please still exist please still exist DAMMIT.


Why you gotta use MySpace, Notorious C.O.N.E.? Since stone age social media no longer hosts, former WR Toney Clemons filmed roommate/former QB David Cone in their apartment laying some sick rhymes (free mgoshirt to whoever can track down a copy of the album for us).


Mr. Dave

Fortunately MVictors still has the audio, if the vid is gone for all time. But that video was so good.

Honorable Mention: Denard. How do you separate Brian’s kid’s name, Shoelace, the smile, Whaaaaat?!?, the cover of the last NCAA edition for a decade, and a crumpled up mailbox from the actual dilithium? You can’t, and the purpose of this list is to honor the Coners because these lists otherwise exist just for an excuse to put Denard at QB when you wouldn’t otherwise.

[after THE JUMP: bang bang]


Exit: Wyatt Shallman

Exit: Wyatt Shallman Comment Count

Seth January 19th, 2017 at 4:46 PM


As you likely expected/dreaded by now, Wyatt Shallman’s Michigan career is over. Degree in hand, Wyatt announced on Twitter this afternoon that he’ll pursue a grad transfer for his final year of eligibility:

Injuries held Shallman back from seeing the field for most of his time here. At his first fall practice observers noted Shallman was doing hamstring exercises and a redshirt was all but certain. He took one handoff in the blessedly forgettable App State game, and appeared sparingly on special teams in 2014. Going into 2015 Sam Webb reported a strained calf, and several weeks later Shallman tweeted a photo of himself about to go into surgery. Later that season he took three handoffs late in the Rutgers game, blowing through a couple of tacklers for one thunderous five-yard gain that suddenly reminded us of the player Michigan thought it was getting. But with Michigan’s crowded backfield, Shallman could never seem to break into the running back rotation; if they tried him at fullback it never seemed to stick long enough for the public to get a read.

Off the field, well, we’ve made little secret here that he’s been one of our favorite players since his recruitment—tags on this site include wyatt shallman’s mushroom hair, wyatt shallman’s ferrett, wyatt shallman’s wallaby, and wyatt shallman is metal af. Shallman committed to Michigan early (he was #2 of that 9-commit-a-palooza in February 2012) and was instrumental in helping to build that particularly close 2013 class. If he ever had police show up at his door it was because of a habit of adopting interesting fauna. His playful viking personality was just one of many reasons Michigan fans were excited to see Shallman on the field since his junior year of high school.

That recruiting excitement included three sites (Rivals punted and called him an ATH) ranking him #1 or #2 in the country at his position (fullback), despite that not actually being his position. All rated him 4 stars and around the 6th to 10th player in a strong in-state class, but just about everyone needed a long time to be convinced Shallman wasn’t playing DE, TE, FB, H-back, or whatever. For their part Michigan made it clear he was offered as a running back despite Derrick Green and De’Veon Smith in the class, and each time someone checked in Wyatt was still a back, albeit one who could do lots of other things. Personally I think I finally came over to the idea when Harbaugh arrived, since “multi-purpose, super-athletic, lion-maned, exotic creature-adopting, 260-pound running back” sounded like a thing that should totally happen in a Harbaughffense.

Now we’ll be rooting for someone else to tap that delightful potential. Root strongly—this is a guy who’s been a pleasure to cover over the last four years, and who has done about as much for Michigan as you can from the sidelines.


We Will Both Agree That I Am Mean

We Will Both Agree That I Am Mean Comment Count

Brian November 9th, 2015 at 12:24 PM

11/7/2015 – Michigan 49, Rutgers 16 – 7-2, 4-1 Big Ten


[Patrick Barron]

This was never much of a game; it was never expected to be much of one. The line rose to a whopping 24 points before kickoff. Michigan hit that number early in the third quarter. For big chunks of the first half Rutgers had 55 yards of offense from one run on which Joe Bolden was held rather blatantly and literally nothing else. This was a walkover.

So there's not much emotional impact to be drawn from this one. Other than the sudden appearance of Good Iowa Rudock pretty much everything went as expected. Back in the day I'm pretty sure I shrugged at these games, wrote a couple paragraphs about how this wasn't really a thing, and moved on to gleaning what could be gleaned from an uncompetitive game. More recently that kind of column has been reserved for dismal contests in which a moribund Michigan team gacked it up against, oh, say, Rutgers.

There will come a day in the next couple years when Michigan takes on the dregs of its division and drops the hammer and I say that there's no point in a column. This is not that day. Because last year Gary Nova threw for 400 yards against this defense. Because last year Michigan did the classy thing and apologized for putting a piece of metal in Michigan State's field. We are not yet far enough removed from that to simply shrug.


So at halftime, Rutgers did something dumb. They poked the bear.

"They were just saying things like, 'Oh, it's our time this second half,' 'We the comeback kids,' 'These guys can't really finish games,'" safety Jabrill Peppers said, kind of rolling his eyes at the last remark.

"That's pretty much all I heard."

I'm impressed they hadn't checked out entirely, but it does not do to poke the bear.

"They were excited. They were down, what, 19, and Coach didn't like that they were celebrating," Lewis said. "(He said), 'Put the foot on the gas, finish these guys off.'"

Those were his exact words?

"I don't want to use those words out here," Lewis said, with a laugh.

Many, many opposing fans are going to complain about Harbaugh the jerk, Harbaugh the sociopath, Harbaugh the serial killer who kept stabbing our face long after we were dead. I perused a good number of these comments after this game… for some reason. Wilton Speight played most of the fourth quarter and Michigan put up just 14 points in the second half.

Even so the Rutgers beatwriters are really stretching to make something out of Harbaugh's two-point conversion:

Is there a beef between Rutgers coach Kyle Flood and Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh?

Evidence cited: a two point conversion with 26 minutes left in the game and a couple of coachspeak comments from Flood that could be spun into a veiled shot if, say, you were desperate for anything to talk about after a 49-16 loss. Steve Politi, the guy who wrote that column about Harbaugh being a phony compared to the real Kyle Flood, is trying to stoke the flames by citing the sneaky Jake Butt play—which happened in the first half!—Jake Rudock throwing in the third quarter, and Jabrill Peppers fair-catching punts.

I guess when you cover Rutgers you're on the cutting edge of "not in the face!" research. But it's clear Harbaugh is taking heat here solely because of his reputation.

I am fine with this. At Stanford he told his players to "win with character, win with cruelty." This is what I want a football program to do.

I want it to be angry up 35-16 at halftime. I want it to step on available throats within the rules of the game (except for certain substitution rules). I don't care if someone's feelings are hurt by a justified two-point conversion, or an unjustified one. I endorse all fourth-quarter passes against teams five scores down. I look forward to a point in the future when an apology will not be forthcoming.


Parking God:



this is both #1 and #2 [Fuller]


Known Friends And Trusted Agents Of The Week

you're the man now, dog

#1 Jake Rudock had 13.5 yards an attempt despite two drops from his receivers. Even against an atrocious pass defense, that'll do. Rudock also escaped the pocket and tiptoed the sideline for a touchdown and scrambled for the two point conversion.

#2 Jake Butt had 104 of those receiving yards on four catches. Rudock is now hitting the high window where Butt can show off his height and leaping ability. I have him with zero drops on the year. Butt has 418 receiving yards on the year, almost 150 clear of his nearest competitor… that Minnesota TE who was delivered a couple gifts last week.

#3 Chris Wormley re-asserted himself after a few relatively quiet weeks with two sacks, one on a stunt Rutgers didn't pick up, the other just a straight up pass rush around the corner. Wormley also helped Michigan's rush defense to another dominant day.

Honorable mention: Jourdan Lewis set the single season Michigan PBU record. Jarrod Wilson wasn't hit in coverage and had a pretty spectacular interception. Mason Cole was probably pretty good.

KFaTAotW Standings.

9: Jourdan Lewis (#1 UNLV, #1 Northwestern, #1 MSU), Jabrill Peppers(#2 BYU, #2 Northwestern, #2 MSU, #1 Minnesota)
6: Chris Wormley(#2 Utah, #1 Oregon State, #3 Rutgers)
5: Jake Butt(#1 Utah, #2 Rutgers)
4: Maurice Hurst (#2 Maryland, #2 Minnesota), Jake Rudock (#3 Northwestern, #1 Rutgers)
3: De'Veon Smith(#2 Oregon State, #3 BYU), Ryan Glasgow (#1 BYU), Desmond Morgan (#1 Maryland),
2: Ty Isaac(#2 UNLV), Willie Henry(#3 Utah, #3 MSU).
1: AJ Williams (#3 Oregon State), Channing Stribling(#3 UNLV), Blake O'Neill(#3 Maryland), Drake Johnson(#3 Minnesota)

Who's Got It Better Than Us Of The Week

This week's best thing ever.

Jabrill Peppers does his Denard-vs-WMU impression.

That acceleration after he dodges the tackle is ridiculous.

Honorable mention: any number of pinpoint midrange Rudock passes but we'll go with the 50-yard catch and run to Butt; Jarrod Wilson's un-boring interception; Smith rips off a big run late on a textbook power play; Harbaugh goes for two for Reasons.


Utah: Crazy #buttdown.
Oregon State: #tacopunts.
UNLV: Ty Isaac's 76 yard touchdown.
BYU: De'Veon Smith's illicit teleporter run.
Maryland: Jehu Chesson jet sweeps past you.
Northwestern: Chesson opening KO TD.
MSU: the bit where they won until they didn't.
Minnesota: form a f-ing wall.
Rutgers: Peppers as Denard.


This week's worst thing ever.

A weirdly short kickoff from Kenny Allen is returned for a touchdown.

Honorable mention: Targeting overturned; Rutgers rips off a 55-yard run thanks in large part a pretty obvious hold on Joe Bolden; Michigan struggles to run yet again.


Utah: circle route pick six.
Oregon State: Rudock fumbles after blitz bust.
UNLV: Rudock matches 2014 INT total in game 3.
BYU: BYU manages to get to triple digit yards in the last minutes of the game.
Maryland: Slog extended by deflected interception at Houma.
Northwestern: KLINSMANN OUT
MSU: Obvious.
Minnesota: The bit where the lost it until they didn't.
Rutgers: KO return given up.

[After THE JUMP: no ghosts this week, tiniest band ever, screens, defense hole-seeking]


Wyatt Shallman's Out For A While

Wyatt Shallman's Out For A While Comment Count

Brian September 18th, 2015 at 12:33 PM

Shallman just tweeted a picture of himself apparently about to undergo surgery:

I don't like needles either. No idea yet what it is or how long he'll be out. Shallman at least has his menagerie of magical animals to keep him company.


Monday Presser 9-14-15: Jim Harbaugh

Monday Presser 9-14-15: Jim Harbaugh Comment Count

Adam Schnepp September 14th, 2015 at 6:02 PM



News bullets and other items:

  • There’s no timetable for Jourdan Lewis’s return (though he was listed as a starter on the depth chart provided to the media today)
  • Chase Winovich, Ty Wheatley Jr., Mike McCray, and Wyatt Shallman are all injured, though three of those four could return to practice today.
  • Joe Kerridge was injured Saturday. Harbaugh said they’ll get more information on the injury today.
  • Redshirting Shane Morris is “a consideration.”
  • Tom Strobel switched to TE in the spring, then back to defense, then back to offense about a week ago. Harbaugh thinks he’ll stay on offense, but considers him a two-way player.

Jourdan [Lewis] exited the game with what was diagnosed as a concussion. Do you have an update on him, and how long do you think he’ll be out?

“I don’t know. Uh…never really gotten into the business of predicting, especially when it comes to concussions. He’ll be evaluated by the doctors.”

There’s been a lot of talk about progression from game one to game two. After you watched the film, what jumped out the most to you as far as steps taken between those two games?

“It was a positive step in a lot of areas. Biggest one was got the satisfaction of a win. Lot of hard work put in, and that will continue this week.”

Do you expect to have Jourdan on Saturday?

“Again, I’m just not in the…uh…predicting of that. Not my area.”

You mentioned Chris Wormley on Saturday as a guy you wanted to single out. He’s had kind of a breakout first couple games of the year. What’s been the big difference for him flipping the switch or whatever to get him where he is now?

“I think he’s a very talented player that’s, you know, improving and getting better every day. Very graphic on Saturday. Thought he played a tremendous game. Probably our best defensive performance was Chris Wormley.”

[After THE JUMP: The nervous system wages war on the body]


Preview 2015: Running Back

Preview 2015: Running Back Comment Count

Brian August 27th, 2015 at 4:21 PM

Previously: Podcast 7.0. The Story.


-This preview, two years ago


-This preview, last year


Rating: 3

De'Veon Smith Jr. De'Veon Smith Jr. Ty Isaac So.*
Ty Isaac So.* Derrick Green Jr. Drake Johnson Jr.*
Drake Johnson Jr.* Ty Isaac So.* Karan Higdon Fr.

This was a straight-up mess for much of last year. De'Veon Smith and Derrick Green had little idea of what functional blocking looked like (understandable after 2013) and a tendency to run at random. If—and this is entirely hypothetical—you were to rewatch some of these runs in detail you may—again, entirely hypothetically—find yourself reduced to screaming Happy Gilmore quotes about being too good for your home and then self-abasing because Happy Gilmore is a very bad movie enjoyed only by children and Ace. Hypothetically.

Late in the year Michigan tried out Drake Johnson and Justice Hayes and that went better, particularly with Johnson. Over the last four games of the season—Indiana, Northwestern, Maryland, and Ohio State—Johnson got the plurality of the carries and averaged 6.0 yards a carry to Smith's 4.7. Johnson had a reasonable day even against Ohio State, with 15 carries for 76 yards… and then he tore his ACL. Again. Sam Webb reported he only got fully cleared on Monday.

So it's back to those other guys, oh and Ty Isaac. Let's try it again, this time with coaching.



HAIR ZOOM 2015 [Fuller]

Last year:

My Bayesian estimation is that Smith has a tiny lead that wouldn't even be worth mentioning except for the fact that I have to talk about someone first.

This year: ditto.

The first arbitrarily ordered running back is DE'VEON SMITH. Your author does admit that the order of this list may contain some meaning. He is of the opinion that Smith is the most Harbaugh-friendly of the guys currently on the roster.

At his best, Smith is a beefier version of Mike Hart. He's got great balance and generally feels like a nuclear-powered icebreaker.

If you're in an offense where the line consistently delivers you three yards, Smith's ability to bash out another two or three with his balance and power is hugely powerful. That turns third and medium into third and short or a first down. It radically changes the percentages you're working with. This is the kind of gentleman Harbaugh made some headway with at Stanford. Going over all my Smith clips from last year is an exercise in YAC YAC YAC, to the point where the times he doesn't scrape out something after contact come as a shock.

[After THE JUMP: Smith downsides and three other arbitrarily ordered guys.]


Unverified Voracity Consults You Real Good

Unverified Voracity Consults You Real Good Comment Count

Brian August 18th, 2015 at 11:22 AM

The saddest legend. Is Toys R Us headquartered in North Carolina?

Why stop there, NC State? You've honored a gentleman you chased off your campus for playing baseball who finished his Wolfpack career with 7.2 yards per attempt. Once you've broken down the walls between that gentleman and a legends patch there are no barriers left.

Who's wearing 23 for you? He's now the Michael Jordan memorial (probably) tailback. He played somewhat near your school, after all. Jordan Spieth—certainly a carbon-based lifeform—does not have a number, so you can put a patch for him on all your jerseys. Dr. Manhattan may be fictional, but that doesn't have to stop you, NC State. Six words: NC State legend Dr. Manhattan cosplay.

Boom. You just got wow experienced. That will be one million dollars for consulting. Make the check out to Boom Wow Experienced Dot Org Net Inc.

On Samuelson's exit. Dan Samuelson was extremely candid with Nick Baumgardner in the aftermath:

"It had been a tough two years, not seeing the field and really not ever hitting the two-deep spot," Samuelson said Saturday. "I just realized, this is my third season, my chances of playing still aren't very good. I decided it was time to make a change and head somewhere where my chances were a little better.

"I just felt like it wasn't the best fit for me anymore."

Samuelson says he was third string throughout the spring and summer, and was told to focus on gaining more weight this offseason by Michigan's coaching staff -- something he says he accomplished after wrapping spring ball at 6-foot-5, 289 pounds.

But once camp began, Samuelson says he began to realize he wasn't making any progress when it came to Michigan's depth chart.

These days it's tough to play at less than 300, and Samuelson struggling to get up to 290 in his third year means the writing's on the wall. Samuelson made no bones about it.

Injury scares. While it seems Bryan Mone is going to be laid up for a long time with the broken ankle everyone says he's got, rumors that two more players were down for the count seem overblown.

The way this generally goes is several sites report the same thing without names, but with each one using a different set of parameters to indicate who it is (offensive freshman expected to contribute, etc.) people can deduce who the players in question were. Then the sites are like "right, those two guys" in follow-ups. It's a quality system. I enjoy it.

Anyway, in this case the two injured gents were TJ Wheatley and Wyatt Shallman. Steve Lorenz reported that Wheatley had a knee thing that was just a strain, not torn ligaments; Sam Webb reported that Shallman has a strained calf. Both are missing practice time and may miss a game or two but should be back early in the season.

This is a bad article. There are many bad articles. I don't often point them out these days, but this one is special. It is a column in Psychology Today titled "Obesely Speaking" about something something Harbaugh intermittent reinforcement SCIENCE:

We are also drawn to Harbaugh because we are a social species, and instinctually we know that we are only as strong as our weakest, as healthy as our sickest, as wealthy as our poorest – though we’ve lost sight of that. Hence, his many humanitarian deeds add yet another level of appeal.  I asked several Internet social media groups, such as Michigan Football HQ, The University of Michigan M Club, Michigan Proud and True, Big Ten Talk etc. why they liked Jim Harbaugh. U of M alumnus, Bruce Laing, encapsulates the majority opinion: He will instill toughness and accountability in the athletes, posted Laing in the University of Michigan M Club.  Our children's futures are vital, so we embrace the importance of education, accountability and toughness because they galvanize that future; yet  another reason Americans are drawn to Harbaugh.

Woof. The saddest part of this article is that it has 80(!) references to scientific papers at the end of it. Hopefully the guy just writes his columns such that all those papers are always at the end and he just C&Ps it. As good an explanation as any.

Well done. EDSBS commentariat member Tim Hodgson undertook an experiment:

Undertake your experiment today!

No union for (just) you. The National Labor Relations Board turned down Northwestern's attempt to unionize yesterday with a ruling reminiscent of Kirk Ferentz facing fourth and two in the opponent's territory:

"In the decision, the Board held that asserting jurisdiction would not promote labor stability due to the nature and structure of NCAA Division I Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS)," the NLRB wrote in its decision. "By statute the Board does not have jurisdiction over state-run colleges and universities, which constitute 108 of the roughly 125 FBS teams.

"In addition, every school in the Big Ten, except Northwestern, is a state-run institution. As the NCAA and conference maintain substantial control over individual teams, the Board held that asserting jurisdiction over a single team would not promote stability in labor relations across the league.

"This decision is narrowly focused to apply only to the players in this case and does not preclude reconsideration of this issue in the future."

They punted. That's disappointing and a bit nonsensical. Matt Hinton points out that this is a federal agency explicitly concerned with a "level playing field" that does not exist and never will. By shooting down this case, the NRLB forces any unionization effort to be held over at least all private schools and probably something even wider than that.

There is short term relief here for the NCAA; in the longer term this is going down in court.

Etc.: Wheatley profiled. 1981 SI piece on Bo is gold. The first-ever sports team at Michigan. Do not read, Gary Danielsn. Also do not read, Gary Danielson. Here is a week old piece on Kevin Tolbert I meant to link earlier.


Media Day Interviews: Wyatt Shallman

Media Day Interviews: Wyatt Shallman Comment Count

Ace August 12th, 2015 at 1:01 PM

The flow is strong with this one. [Upchurch]

Versatile redshirt sophomore Wyatt Shallman has garnered attention for both his potential fit in Harbaugh's offense and his unusual taste in pets. We covered both topics in a one-on-one from last week's Media Day.

What are you playing this year?

I’m playing running back.

How comfortable are you at the position and how do you feel you fit in with the offense this year?

I feel I fit in great. You need a stable of running backs and can fit in that stable real well. I’m real comfortable with it. They lay out the offense pretty well for us so it’s easy to learn, easy to understand, so you’ve just gotta make sure you’re paying attention when you’re in meetings and stuff.

Word is practice is pretty intense. How would you compare the style from this spring to previous years?

Football is football, so it’s not too different. Obviously every coach is going to have a different format, but we got out there and competed this spring, and it’s the same with other coaching staffs around college, you just get out there and compete and play football.

What would you say is the biggest shift for you guys so far from an offensive philosophy standpoint? Is there anything that’s markedly different with the offense right now?

There’s going to be [a] difference as soon as you get a new coach. We’re really priding ourselves on running the ball, we did a lot of that this spring. Our fullbacks and our other running backs, they pride themselves on getting yardage. That’s kind of our mindset, just getting those yards and getting the yards after contact, too.

It’s the first year in forever that Fred Jackson isn’t the running backs coach. How’s the transition going from him to Tyrone Wheatley?

It’s been great. Coach Jackson was a great coach. I’m going to miss him. He’s a great man too, he taught me a lot. Coach Wheatley, he’s a great coach, and I’m not taking anything away from Coach J but he brings his own little style, and it’s fun to learn everyone else’s little style.

Has he been showing you guys his highlights?

Not really, but he still lets us know that he can play. His cuts… he likes to get into drills and do a little bit of showing the drills fast, so he still shows us a little bit of that, that he can still move the way he does.

So he can still move pretty well?


What was stranger: having the police show up at your front door about a wallaby or seeing your head coach shirtless at a camp in Prattville?

Probably the shirtless head coach. I got a couple other housemates that might be more at fault about the wallaby, so that wasn’t that crazy of a situation. But, yeah, seeing Coach Harbaugh shirtless was kinda wild.

As a team, how do you guys react to seeing a coach that’s way more in the news than Hoke ever was?

It’s just interesting. The personality that you see outside of everything here is the personality we see all day, so he’s not putting on a show. Coach Harbaugh is who he is. He’s an interesting dude. He’s intense.

I’ve gotta bring it back to the wallaby. You guys have a real live Australian now on your football team. What was Blake’s reaction to that whole thing?

He basically said wallabies are like varmint in Australia, pretty comparable to squirrels, so I don’t know why everyone was freaking out about that. People like to get any story they can have and hold onto it so how about a couple college kids with a wallaby. It was not even smart to have everyone freaking out about that. It wasn’t a big deal.

What’s the goal for the team this year, and for you personally, what’s your mindset heading into the season?

Personally it’s just to help the team any way I can. I think that’s everyone’s mindset. If you’ve got everyone working towards the same goal you’re more likely to achieve it. So we’re just working to get better and to get this team better, just doing the things we need to do.


This Is Not A Drill: Michigan Football Has A Marsupial

This Is Not A Drill: Michigan Football Has A Marsupial Comment Count

Brian June 26th, 2015 at 10:53 AM

They don't know what kind of marsupial it is.

Go big or go home.... New member of 1401 south state #kangaroo #imnotevenjoking

A photo posted by Wyatt Shallman (@thepeoplesrepublicofshallman) on

The internet helpfully pointed out that keeping wildlife, uh, a gravid marsupial, for uh, you know, domestic…


…ain't legal. Also, Mariaklots is correct. That thing is a wallaby. Shane Morris had zoobooks and knows.

No word on the ferret, or which of the many splendiferous names I offered up was eventually chosen. (I have money on Ferret Bo Jackson.)


Today In Michigan Fire Emoji Twitter

Today In Michigan Fire Emoji Twitter Comment Count

Brian June 18th, 2015 at 11:30 AM

We might have to have a Twitter of the Year bracket if things keep going in this direction. First, Jack Wangler helps out Justice Hayes!

And then there's Jourdan Lewis with his best Marshawn Lynch impression.

I would support Lewis extending this impression to all media interactions, getting everyone all furious at him, and then dropping the charade in the middle of a press conference for seemingly no reason.

Also, this post reminded me that Wyatt Shallman bought a ferret. This has been the best offseason.