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10/15/2022 – Michigan 41, Penn State 17 – 7-0, 4-0 Big Ten

Yappiness varies by game when you're in the stands, and largely depends on what kind of opposition fans you get near you. I remember one particular Iowa game when seemingly everyone within earshot was giving the business to an oversized, corn-fed Hawkeye fan who the term "This Fuckin' Guy" was invented for. There is a 1000% chance that after the game he descended on the local message board and typed out a screed about how rude and terrible Michigan fans are. This is in total opposition to the rest of the Iowa fanbase, lovely people one and all, but sometimes you just get a guy. Not just a guy. A This Fuckin' Guy. A TFG. 

There was a Penn State TFG near me, and when Michigan broke Penn State's back with consecutive touchdown runs of 60+  yards he started loudly complaining about all the holding Michigan was getting away with. There were about three Michigan fans inclined to chirp back about how the scoreboard said Michigan many, Penn State considerably less (but not nearly as less as they deserved). They pointed out that Michigan had 300 rushing yards and counting, and that PSU had exactly three good plays all game.

They were correct. Also at various points all three of them had loudly complained about Michigan's playcalling in the game where Michigan had 300 rushing yards and counting. These fuckin' guys. Any neutral who happened to be within earshot learned everything they needed to know about the two participating fanbases in the course of about three minutes.

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As the teams headed to the locker room at halftime a similar scene unfolded in the tunnel.

Some halftime tunnel shenanigans happening. pic.twitter.com/FwxgXdO7jj

— Isaiah Hole (@isaiahhole) October 15, 2022

I imagine the Penn State roster's version of Jesse Pinkman started woofing something or other, and things descended from there until there was a generalized hooting, some pushing back-and-fourth, and the hurling of ineffectual but tasty projectiles.

Yesterday I found a few PB&Js squashed on the floor outside our locker room

I thought it was an unsuccessful attempt to sneak food to the sideline…

Turns out they had been thrown at our players during that… Jam up… in the tunnel 😂 pic.twitter.com/ViumYFYeRf

— Abigail O'Connor (@A_OConnorRD) October 16, 2022

Michigan came out to do the same things they were doing in the first half. Penn State hung on by a thread, just hoping to stay in contact. Once they fell out of striking range they flopped down on the ground, spent, and let Michigan run them over some more. What's one more tire track at that point? Maybe this one will make the whole thing look like a tribal tattoo.

This was eventually reminiscent of another Michigan-Penn State game in blog history, the one where Alan Branch made Anthony Morelli very flat. I went to that game, and winding through the hills in the aftermath of the game listening to the shell-shocked Penn State postgame show was an injection of pure schadenfredue. This quote from former PSU receiver Chafie Fields led the game column:

"If you put a pit bull in a ring with a chihuahua, don't expect the chihuahua to win."

Michigan also went to 7-0, 4-0 after that game. The main difference was the final score. Instead of the outrageous blowout Michigan put up Saturday, that game was 17-10. When you put Mechagodzilla in a ring with a chihuahua, sort of thing. Glancing up from the field to the increasingly outlandish scoreboard gave the observer a chill down the spine. The Pit Bull game was in 2006. Something else happened in 2006 that two fanbases are now barreling towards. If a train leaves Columbus at 100 miles an hour at the same time a train leaves Ann Arbor, what happens in the aftermath of their collision?

A few hurdles remain, but in Michigan's case they're a Michigan State program functionally entirely on transfers and spite and an Illinois team that is so far removed from success that they are merely surgent, no "re" involved. Focus up on the bye week, take MSU seriously but not literally, and toot toot all aboard for destination: carnage.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

"I should have transferred to Michigan" –Oluwatimi [Barron]

you're the man now, dog

#1 The Offensive Line. When you rush for 400 yards and two different backs go for a buck fifty and you're one ankle tackle away from sending CJ Stokes to the races as a third exclamation point, you get to be the KFaTAotW notwithstanding any attempts to grade you out like you're a Penn State OL that generated 35 yards on 12 carries for their backs.

#2(T) Blake Corum and Donovan Edwards. I imagine this one is relatively self-explanatory. Three points each.

#3 Mike Morris. Hard to pick out a defender based on raw numbers since snap counts were so low. Morris was Michigan's most consistently impactful defender, starting the game off with a Graham and Jenkins-assisted TFL on third and one, batting a pass down, registering a QB hurry, and nearly stuffing the fourth and goal PSU touchdown if he'd just gotten a little help.

Honorable mention: JJ McCarthy kept the offense moving and his legs were crucial even when not in direct use. Ronnie Bell didn't have a ton of yards but had a third and twelve conversion on which he had no business converting, and then he deployed Swag™. Nobody throws at Gemon Green anymore. Junior Colson put his nose in the right places. Jake Moody was 4/4 on field goals.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

27: Blake Corum (#2 CSU, #2 Hawaii, HM UConn, #1 Maryland, #2 Iowa. HM Indiana, T2 PSU)
19: JJ McCarthy (#1 Hawaii, #2 UConn, HM Maryland, HM Iowa, #3 Indiana, HM PSU)
16: Ronnie Bell (HM CSU, HM Hawaii, #1 UConn, #2 Indiana, HM PSU), Mike Morris (T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland, #1 Iowa, T1 Indiana, #3 PSU)
12: Mazi Smith (#1 CSU, T3 Hawaii, HM Maryland, HM Iowa)
11: The Offensive Line (#3 Iowa, #1 PSU)
8: Kris Jenkins (#3 UConn, T3 Hawaii, HM Iowa, T1 Indiana)
7: Gemon Green (HM UConn, T2 Maryland, HM PSU)
5: DJ Turner (T2 Maryland), Junior Colson (#3 CSU, HM UConn, HM PSU)
4: Eyabi Okie (HM CSU, HM Iowa, T1 Indiana), Luke Schoonmaker (T3 Maryland, HM Iowa, HM Indiana), Donovan Edwards (HM Hawaii, T2 PSU)
3:Derrick Moore (HM CSU, T1 Indiana), Jaylen Harrell (HM CSU, T1 Indiana), Mason Graham (HM Hawaii, HM Iowa, HM Indiana)
2: Roman Wilson (HM CSU, HM Hawaii), Max Bredeson (T3 Maryland), Joel Honigford (T3 Maryland), Mike Sainristil (HM Maryland, HM Indiana), Rod Moore (HM CSU, HM Indiana)
1: Braiden McGregor (HM CSU), Makari Paige (HM Hawaii), Rayshaun Benny (HM Hawaii), Cornelius Johnson (HM Hawaii), , AJ Henning (HM UConn), Caden Kolesar (HM UConn), RJ Moten (HM Maryland), Jake Moody (HM PSU).

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Corum puts what feels like the nail in the coffin one play after Edwards staked Michigan to a lead it would not relinquish.

Honorable mention: The Edwards thing. McCarthy hits Johnson on a 30-air-yard pass on a waggle rollout(!). Manny Diaz puts five in the box on third and long and gets what's coming to him. Michigan punches PSU off the field on third and one on their first drive, setting the train in motion.

?MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

An attempted pass to Corum in the flat goes bat-helmet doink-pick six, briefly staking Penn State to the most improbable lead in recent Michigan football history, give or take the 2008 Wisconsin game.

Honorable mention: Sean Clifford keeper goes for 60+, setting up Penn State for their other touchdown. McCarthy overthrows a likely touchdown on a Donovan Edwards screen. Clifford puts one right on the money to set up a go-ahead third quarter field goal.

FORMATION NOTES: Michigan used a ton of tight ends.

I charted 10 plays with three tight ends—we're still considering Bredeson a TE and not a hybrid—and another 19 with two. There were almost none with zero. Since there's a chunk of passing downs in there, a majority of Michigan standard downs had two tight ends or three.

Other than that not a whole lot of formation hijinks. Michigan did run a two-back formation out of the gun for the first time this year:

This was the wheel to Corum with Bredeson staying in to protect. You better believe that's going to be the #1 thing opponents expect out of this formation after M put this on tape.

Maryland alternated between a bunch of different fronts but never beefed up to match Michigan beef, with the results you see in the box score.

SUBSTITUTION NOTES: Just McCarthy at QB. Almost just Corum at RB; Stokes fumbled his first carry and Isaiah Gash got a couple of runs. OL was Hayes/El-Hadi/Olu/Zinter/Jones the whole way. WRs were the usual at this point: Wilson/Bell/Johnson clearly in front of Henning/Anthony, with cameos from Walker and Clemons. TE was without Erick All, and virtually all snaps were sucked up by Schoonmaker, Bredeson, and Honigford. Loveland and Hibner had cameos.

[AFTER THE JUMP: a palpable opponent]

Mailbag! Most of these are twitter questions. I'm not answering anything that's directly addressed in the upcoming season preview, so if your question didn't get picked maybe that's why. Maybe.

does BPONE fit under any of the categories of mental disorder listed in the APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders?

— RYCERATOPS ᕕ[ ᐛ ]ᕗ (@ryanmopo) August 20, 2019

The Black Pit Of Negative Expectations is not a mental disorder, it is a defense technique based on a rational extrapolation of past feelings to future events. BPONE trades lower highs for higher lows and is thus a wise approach for people who may wander into the streets to rend their clothing and wail without BPONE.

BPONE is therapeutic. Never tweet during BPONE.

If McCaffrey plays every game, is it a couple of 2nd Quarter drives, or is it a couple of one-off plays each game? Or something else?

— Jonathan Drouin (@JonDrouin) August 20, 2019

To me, "play every game" implies more than some goofy one-off trick plays. If I had to bet, we're going to see McCaffrey get one or two drives per game. This isn't a Henson/Brady situation where the starting job is truly being contested during the season—Patterson is the starter. It is a spot where Michigan has so much faith in their backup QB that it makes sense to get him some meaningful reps in case Patterson is unavailable at some point.

[After THE JUMP: quit asking me about worst case scenarios you BPONE maniacs]