Opponent Watch 2014: Week 8

Opponent Watch 2014: Week 8

Submitted by BiSB on October 24th, 2014 at 10:05 AM

About Last Week:

There was no football last week.

Unfortunately, that is not the case this week.

F*** you, calendar. F*** you.

The Road Ahead:

Michigan State (6-1, 3-0 B1G)

Last game: Won at Indiana, 56-17

Recap: Indiana led this game 17-14 in the second quarter. Which felt like this moment in just about all respects:

Doggie Bag

Eh?

Fight scene notwithstanding, this one was largely the comedy it was supposed to be. True freshman Zander Diamont completed 5 of 15 passes for 11 yards. Of his five completions, two went for positive yardage (through three quarters, he was actually throwing for negative yardage). Overall, he put up -1 yards of total offense. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that before. But he survived, so, yay?

As has been happening with shocking frequency this year, MSU did give up a couple of really big plays. Tevin Coleman rumbled for 65 yards on a simple read option because (a) Ed Davis completely overran the play, and (b) RJ Williamson got distracted by a pretty butterfly and just kinda ran the wrong direction. Then Shane Wynn took a reverse 75 yards for a touchdown which should have been a 10 yard gain, but Kurtis Drummond and Ed Davis took terrible angles, and then it REALLY should have been a 25 yard gain if the 5’7”, 167 pound Shane Wynn didn’t bust through the combined masses of Trae Waynes, Ed Davis, and Montae Nicholson.

Wynn1Wynn2Wynn3

5’7”, 167 vs. 18’6”, 633 pounds. F*** YOU, physics. Inelastic collisions all up in this motha.

This team is as frightening as: The absolute and complete lack of uncertainty associated with this game. It's as if I can actually see the blue troops in one long bloody moment. As if it were already done. Already a memory. An odd, set, stony quality to it. As if tomorrow has already happened. And there's nothing you can do about it. Fear Level = 0. Resignation Level = 11

Michigan should worry about: Yes.

Michigan can sleep soundly about: No.

When they play Michigan:

Eighty yards, Eighty yards,
Eighty yards onward,
All in the valley of Sparty
Rode the Ninety Eight.

"Forward, the Maize and Blue!
"Charge for Paul Bunyan!" he said:
Into the valley of Sparty
Rode the Ninety Eight.

"Forward, the Maize and Blue!"
Was there a fan dismay'd?
Not tho' the Devin knew
Hoke had blunder'd:
His not to make reply,
His not to reason why,
His but to manball and die:
Into the valley of Sparty
Rode the Ninety Eight.

Calhoun to right of him,
Rush to left of him,
Davis in front of him
Pressure'd and blitz'd;
Storm'd at with SAM and MIKE,
Boldly he dropped back at the “Hike”,
Into the 4-3 Over fell,
Into the mouth of Hell,
Rode the Ninety Eight.

Scramble’d all his waggles bare,
Pulling guards they turn'd in air,
Inverted Veers he did run there,
Reading the D-End, while
All the fans wonder'd:
Seven step drops as told by Hoke,
Right thro' the line they broke;
Devin reel'd from the blind side stroke
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then he again huddled up
Did the Ninety Eight.

Calhoun to right of him,
Rush to left of him,
Davis in front of him
Pressure'd and blitz'd;
Storm'd at with MIKE and WILL,
Tho there were so many in his grill,
He who kept lining up until
The clock so mercifully Sparty killed
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of him,
Left of Ninety Eight.

When can his glory fade?
O the wild plays he made!
All the world wondered.
Honour the way he played,
Honour Those Who Stayed,
Noble Ninety Eight.

Next game: vs. Michigan (MSU -17), 3:30 Saturday, ABC

[AFTER THE JUMP: Less Tennyson. Same ennui]

Unverified Voracity Pauses Dramatically And Talks About Justice

Unverified Voracity Pauses Dramatically And Talks About Justice

Submitted by Brian on May 19th, 2010 at 1:05 PM

Advertising note. If you live in Michigan (or, more accurately, if your ISP does) You may have noticed a banner for the Women's Football Academy rotating along the right side of the blog. They've purchased some ad space in support of the blog and I'd encourage anyone who is a qualified for the Academy (read: a woman) to check it out. As with many things related to the football program these days, the proceeds go to an excellent cause.

Poetry_Slam Line two. Dave Brandon is creating a slow motion poem. Line one: "I create the future." Line two:

Michigan athletic director Dave Brandon: 'Change is in the wind'

Poem to date:

I create the future
Change is in the wind.

That is all. Oh: peanut gallery request for Dave Brandon Poetry Slam image to go with what promises to be an electric ongoing feature.

CEASE INSANE DIVISIONAL SPLITZ KTHX. If the Big Ten expands, Michigan and Ohio State will be in the same division:

"I think what’s probably most important is that you play them every year,” Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez said Tuesday from the Big Ten spring meetings. “For us, it’s always been at the end and that’s always had a great buildup and excitement to that, so you would think that would be part of the conversation. But there’s a lot of factors in play. I have not put a lot of thought into it.”

Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith said that issue is “very important” to him.

“At the end of the day when I look at things quantifiably, I’ll determine how hard I jump on the table,” Smith said. “But I can’t say for sure how high a table I’ll jump on. I have to wait and see.”

I have no idea what the hell Smith means by that but I'm sure if it's translated from Buckeye it means "beer fire bad. Michigan-Ohio State rivalry good." Bloggers still creating wildly impractical expansion scenarios—losers—can cut out the ones where Michigan and Ohio State do not play every year.

Getting way ahead of ourselves. Penn State rotates off the schedule next year along with all nonconference road games. (Also Purdue.) Minnesota and Northwestern return. The resulting schedule looks… well, it looks as easy as these things get short of moving to the WAC:

2011 Michigan Football Schedule

Date Opponent
Sept. 3 Western Michigan
Sept. 10 Notre Dame
Sept. 17 Eastern Michigan
Sept. 24 San Diego State
Oct. 1 BYE
Oct. 8 at Wisconsin
Oct. 15 Indiana (Homecoming)
Oct. 22 at Michigan State
Oct. 29 at Iowa
Nov. 5 Minnesota
Nov. 12 Illinois
Nov. 19 at Northwestern
Nov. 26 Ohio State

Eight home games, no Penn State, OSU and ND at home: that will be a put up or shut up type of schedule.

I don't understand why people keep falling out of the boat when I push more in. Hardcore Michigan recruitniks will have a vague recollection of Star Jackson, the dual-threat quarterback who was briefly on Michigan's radar during Rodriguez's first-month quarterback scramble that landed Justin Feagin and whiffed on Pryor, BJ Daniels, and everyone else. Jackson was committed to Alabama and stayed committed despite the Michigan offer. Today, he's announcing a transfer.

As far as Crimson Tide transfers go this one is near the bottom on the sketchiness scale: Jackson was third-string after spring practice and the Tide have hyped incoming freshman Phillip Sims joining the team this fall. Quarterbacks have a hair trigger these days when it comes to transfers. Even so, it takes a robot to say this with a straight face:

"We hate to see any player leave the program, but quarterback's kind of a unique position where one guy can play, and we have a lot of competition there right now. Greg's the starter coming back, AJ has done a fantastic job of improving, Phillip Sims came in at mid-semester and showed a lot of promise this spring."

Alabama oversigned by ten this February. Yes, again. They have six more guys to go. Jackson battled an academic suspension in spring, and given the state of the depth chart you have to wonder how invested Alabama was in getting him through that.

Now: which offensive lineman who isn't panning out will get a medical scholarship?

This is a problem? Apparently the one person on the planet with both a deep personal animosity towards the San Diego State football program and a connection to Michigan is Tate Forcier:

Honestly, San Diego State is a team right in my backyard and they didn’t show me any love or attention. Coach (Chuck) Long didn’t pay much attention to me, which was surprising because I showed some interest in them.

Son of a bitch. Grab the influenza and burn the boats: there's an indigenous group of homicidal, gold-hoarding polytheists to beat by at least three points.

Actually: maybe David Underwood also hates SDSU. Maybe he blames it all on them.

(HT: DocSat.)

Zinger. Rodriguez speaking about the ACC's Big East raid, which happened while he was the coach at WVU:

“I think it caught a few institutions off guard and it probably institutionally taught a few lessons that, hey, we better be prepared for that the next time,” Rodriguez said. “I don’t know all the factors, but I’m sure there’s a few more buy-ins and buy-outs and things like that. I know all about buy-outs."

Zing! Wait, he zinged himself. Someone at this to the list of Rodriguez Humiliations that will be read over the loudspeaker before every game this fall.

Etc.: Even more python parsing of MGoBlog reveals that the words "Harbaugh," "mom," and "penetration" have each been deployed exactly 128 times. Isn't that was the Les Miles rumor? So much for python. Maize n Blue Nation gets detailed on the new turf. Beilein is heading overseas with the team if they can work something out.