MANBAWW FOOTBAWW Is Beginning To Warm My Aorta

MANBAWW FOOTBAWW Is Beginning To Warm My Aorta

Submitted by jhackney on September 8th, 2011 at 11:29 PM

It was a cold winter. Not just because the mercury in my thermometer froze, but because I felt Jack Frost nipping my aorta. The 2010 season ending in disaster sent me into seclusion in an undisclosed location. For what it’s worth, Dick Cheney is a horrible bunk mate and cheats like hell at Risk. I was lost for months being dissatisfied with the Gator Bowl Massacre, the ensuing drama of Rich Rodriguez firing, and HOKE being hired in his stead. My theory was that if you are going to fire a coach, make sure the next guy is better. HOKE to me at the time fell way below this standard. I thought he’d make a good run at the WWE giving the people’s pointer, but not for head ball coach at the University of Michigan. I dropped away from MGoBlog for the winter/spring/and most of the summer. Although I had many items on my plate such as world domination, running up my phone bill on a suicide hotline, and practicing the French Horn in my hang out to piss off Cheney.


After leaving my bunker and pleasantly surprise that the nuclear radiation was fairly low, I began thawing my icy demeanor to prepare for the upcoming season. I began surfing through the posts of MGoBlog for motivation. Even though the quality of the posts was high, I needed something more. I loaded the canoe, grabbed my closest confidant, dipped into my suitcase of goodies and took to Bearwallow Pond. Bearwallow Pond is home to the most fierce man eating chain pickerel known to man. As I came to peace with myself battling the forces of evil and experiencing a full blown visionquest that would make Jack Kerouac blush, I realized that I must buy into MANBAWW FOOTBAWW or never be a Michigan fan once again. I chose the former because not being a Michigan football fan is forfeiting your soul. If I wasn’t a Michigan football fan, I would be destined to hang out in Columbus being a Blue Hornet’s groupie and bestowing myself a wife that I will only meet in the realm of World of Warcraft named Grundela.

September 3rd, 2011. The long cold offseason is over. I finally get to see the maize and blue streak out onto the feet. Unfortunately, I could not see them due to the heavy haze that settled into Midwest that threatened to pose serious health problems to Gorgeous Borges. It was hotter than a pair of monkey balls in July. The on the field reporter had a gadget that looked similar to a speedometer. She claimed it was to read the temperature on the ground. I then became convinced that it was a speedometer when it read 131. That was definitely Denard just walking by.

The first quarter drive by Western Michigan brought back flashes of beavers, atomic bombs, sad kittens, and death. I witnessed a MAC team slice through the Michigan defense like I had many times before. This time was different though. I did not have razor blades and salt readied for added pain because I held out hope err…HOKE. Thankfully the touchdown by Michigan at the beginning of the second brought me back from the edge.

At the beginning of the second quarter I also noticed that Carder was having difficulties with audibles. I have not attended a game since the finalization of the renovations (soon to change). I was pleasantly surprised that opposing teams may now have to worry about hearing the correct calls before snapping the ball. Lay the largest library bullshit to rest.

Western Michigan again began exacting a slow painful mauling of a defense again in the middle of second quarter. It looked as if the defense once again was helpless as earthworms after a rainstorm before the turning point of the game came in the form of a 94 yard interception return for a TD by Brandon Herron. After I completed a whole rearrangement of my house in a reenactment of the Herron return, much to my roommates chagrin, I had a different feeling in the pit of my large intestine. Something broke in favor of the Wolverines at a time when it was desperately needed. It was a fix that was finally met after a three year withdrawal that put most Wolverine fans in Nirvana.

After the turning point in the game, WMU began to cave. I find myself more empathetic for self destructing behaviors after witnessing a horror show full of them these past three years. This may explain my deep connection to self mutilators, Jersey Shore fans, and ohio citizens.

Gibbons is an animal. Not in the way that separates someone for exceptional accolades, but an animal in that he has instincts for inclement weather. After Michigan’s third TD, Gibbons sensed the Monsoonpocalypse barreling down the I-96 corridor.  He missed an extra point. We should have respected his all powerful warning because the series of storms that followed wreaked havoc on the stairs and fabrics that occupied the Big House.

After one restart and another delay, Brandon showed the WMU athletic director his pimp hand and the game was finished. Although the game was a washout win, many fans in and out of the rainpocalypse felt refreshed. There was a new buzz in the air. A buzz filled with HOKE. The defense became aggressive unlike ever before in the A.C. era. (After Carr). Kovacs proved that his blood lust was not a fluke as he single handily made Carder crawl into a fetal position headless, The kicking game was ok?, no beavers were spotted or harmed in the game, and no one feared a Josh Groban rendition. Rainbows, happiness, and FOOTBAWWW had returned to Michigan, or did it?

I can speak for myself and I am sure many others are in agreement when through all the celebrating in the American traditional way of killing brain cells with multiple substances at a single time, there lingered a itching worry that this may be the same feeling of after the UConn 2010 win. Notre Dame will be the next test. They have plenty of talent but a habit of Plaxico Burressing themselves in the foot. The defense will surely get a test and save any other bat shit crazy act from mother nature, this will be the first full game of the season. Which means the first fourth quarter of the season. If Gibbons starts missing extra points, head for the hills. If Brian Kelly has an aneurism and collapses on his face, stick around.

We shall be one step closer to finding out if we have caught some wind in our sails to the promised land, or if we will continue to wallow in our own poop deck.


-Go Blue


P.S. Due to insane first week of work, pictures and videos have been excluded. Please don’t hold it against me. I'll find you.

Saturday Campus Plans

Saturday Campus Plans

Submitted by Blazefire on September 8th, 2011 at 11:05 PM

I thought I would check with the board here regarding my plans for the ND game this Saturday. I do not have tickets for the game, bu I am planning to travel to Ann Arbor for the "world's biggest wine and cheese party" (TM).

I have an MRI at U of M hospital Taubman center scheduled for 2:20 PM Saturday. Due to the influx of traffic, I assume I'll need to schedule my arrival for approximately 3 AM last Wednesday to have any hope of making it in time. The appointment should take between 1 and two hours. So, at approximately 4 PM, I will begin my journey here:

If I intend to see and do everything I want to see, I'll need to move quikly. I'll begin by walking south past Palmer Field. At Geddes Ave, I'll hang a right and wander through the Diag, stopping to pray on each cardinal direction around the center. During this walk, I will be tweeting to find out where my peeps at. That will determine my next destination.

From the Diag, I will attempt to make my way towards State Street, singing a marching tune to keep my spirits on my long trek!

After a brief visit at BOX and the other house parties, I will probably continue to head west towards the stadium. It should be approximately 6PM at this point, and the band should be prepping at Ebel field. I will depart from there and wander further south towards the golf course tailgates. I promise not to invest too heavily in the house parties.

After all this wandering, it will be near 7 PM, and time to get into downtown and find somewhere with a television, a seat and a beer.

At this point I will have my legs sent into the shop for their 50,000 mile service. I get it free with the prefered options plan, you know.

You don't think I can do it, do you? You don't think I can walk over four miles, drink heavily, make it through the night game, then walk an additional mile back to my car at the medical center at 11PM, do you? Well fie on thee!

But seriously, if somebody could save me a spot at Bar Louie or BWW who gets there like four hours ahead of time, that'd be awesome.

Update: suspended OSU players took cold hard cash

Update: suspended OSU players took cold hard cash

Submitted by MGoRob on September 8th, 2011 at 11:02 PM

So here I am beating a dead horse.  But why not, it's late.

According to this ESPN article, the OSU Ohio players suspended for the first game were banished for taking cash at a charity event.  Previously, especially those cooler poopers at Eleven Warriors defended these players by assuming they took a gift basket or the like.  Well, in fact, it wasn't.  It was cold hard cash.  And the worst part, they don't seem to come to a concensus why they were given this cash.

The records released Thursday night indicate the athletes gave varying accounts for why they received the money and who they received it from.

Two of the athletes said they believed the money was for working at the event while a third said he believed he was receiving money from a teammate. They were invited to attend the charity event by a former Buckeyes player.

The article further goes on to say that this wasn't an Ohio sponsored event, yet in previous year it had.

All three believed that Ohio State had approved attending the event, even though it had not. Ohio State had permitted athletes to attend the event in 2007 and 2010, however, Ohio State's NCAA compliance department requires that athletes ask for and receive written permission to attend promotional or charitable events.

I'm sorry.  Your coach was fired resigned.  Your program is under intense scrutiny.  And your players are STILL accepting money at sponsored non-sponsored events.

ND Fans

ND Fans

Submitted by Arsenal Fan on September 8th, 2011 at 10:28 PM

Alright gents, I need some help here.  I have been a die hard Michigan fan my entire life, but I have grown up in South Bend so practically all of my friends are ND fans.  So needless to say this week there has been some banter going back and forth, but I am a one man army right now.  So on to my point, any ammunition to use against them would be great.  I have already used the all time record, etc. So anything useful would be great.   Thanks MGoCommunity!  

Weekend Visitors

Weekend Visitors

Submitted by Knappster on September 8th, 2011 at 9:27 PM

Can we compile a list of who's confirmed/might come?

I thought I saw somethiing on Twitter saying that Darboh is taking an official to Wiscy this weekend.  Over UM-ND?  Interesting.

Any word on Dunn?

Scout is saying the list is up near 40.  Recruiting Roundup should be good tomorrow morning.

Brian on WTKA Recap, 9/8/2011

Brian on WTKA Recap, 9/8/2011

Submitted by Bocheezu on September 8th, 2011 at 8:10 PM

First Segment:

New scoreboards.  Some issues/complaints.  Just not up to speed with scoreboard capability?  No yardline or yardage.  Replay capability much better than old scoreboard, obviously. 

Offense vs. WMU.  Only 39 plays on offense, was it enough?  Brian worried about Denard accuracy, even before rain came.  Was perfect against UConn last year, big difference to performance against WMU (9/13 where he got bailed out on 3-4 throws).  About all you can take away from the offense.

Running backs.  Vince Smith first guy to take power off-tackle.  Brian likes Fitz a lot; speed where he bounced it outside on run near the end before game got called.  Maybe he can make yards that aren't there.  Shaw fast but inconsistent.  Fitz made "maybe one dodgy read" but otherwise hit the holes he should.  Will be an upgrade at RB just because top two guys are healthy, unlike last year.

Offensive line.  Lewan graded out the best; Schofield OK but allowed the most pressure.  Brian's grading system last year was very friendly to Molk due to reach blocks; wasn't asked to do that against WMU.  Most plusses will go to Lewan and Omameh on the year probably, due to power running.

Shotgun.  Being vanilla by doing the same things that ND has seen before.  Didn't show a whole lot of power plays.  Brian still skeptical of Denard under center compared to threat of running under shotgun.

Receivers.  Grade: Incomplete?  Only one guy caught two balls.  Brian pleased; only drop was the Dileo "drop" on a bad Denard throw during the downpour.  Several big grabs; Roundtree/Koger.

First email about the offense and how Borges will attack the ND defense.  Brian curious about ND QB draw defense/adjustments; Denard showing QB draw, then passing.  How will Borges adjust to their defense of that play?

Comparison of the game weather to Virginia '95, ND '98, UCLA 2001; all very hot.  Then the rain just shifted everything...biggest weather change since Purdue '95. 

Defense.  First drive defense always seems bad throughout the years.  Defense couldn't even get lined up correctly; Avery 1 vs 2.  Crazy amount of rotation in the front seven with different batch of players every couple plays.  Special circumstances due to heat?  Defense vs. no huddle offense; shouldn't be an issue because they've seen it all the time.  Fewer misalignments as game went on.  Halfway through 2nd quarter, Mattison bringing a safety down in the box and blitzing; brought the house 3 times in a row.  Carder chucking it off his back foot just so he wouldn't get hit anymore by Demens.  Blitz packages got to QB "even more than you realize."  Blitz packages vs. ND will probably be more expansive.  Michigan only rushed 3 guys once vs. WMU, compared to all the time last year.  ND will probably pick up blitzes better.

Defense UFR.  Kovacks had a great day, period; more than just the two blitz sacks, but cleaning up other people's messes as well.  Wait-and-see on Roh and Martin.  Reason blitzes got home was because Martin was getting double teamed.

Punt game passable.  Brian misses spread punt.  Reason it's swept through college football; it's more effective.

First call.  The last time the defense was in a QB's head and sped up a QB's internal clock.  Brian thinks first time since Anthony Morelli in 2006.  Blitz packages between Mattison and GERG night-and-day.  Secondary really not that different from last year, but still able to get to the QB and force turnovers.  Mental strain of being a QB and not knowing where the blitz is coming from.

Second call.  Ball control game, possession offense, and how it effects the game vs. ND.  With Denard, sometimes you just have a wide open TDs.  Brian thinks any score is good whether it takes a long time or not; just take what the defense gives you.  ND has undersized NT that's more of a quick guy; maybe power more effective than stretch running.  See how ND adjusts this year to Denard.

Second Segment

Craig Ross is in.

First call.  Inside College Football; ND TE guy mentioned that in the last six games the ND defense has only allowed 7 TDs.  How will new offense work against that defense?  Ira: Who are they playing?  Garbage schedule at the end of last year.  Brian doesn't think USF had a pulse once they got up 16-0; once lead got whittled down to 9, went right back and scored.  Going back to Navy game where they made no adjustments and just got destroyed.  ND defense is an open question; no consensus opinion. 3-4 base defense hard to run without space-eating NT.  Ian Williams graduated, new guy undersized as well.  Brian does like their safeties and thinks Te'o is good, but ND benched Calabrese and have new-ish OLBs.  Craig: we're a lot better offense than USF; ND defense is a question mark.

Second call.  Front four not getting penetration and requiring blitz against WMU.  Craig: we got pressure with four guys.  A lot of zone blitzing.  BWC in coverage one time even.  Pressure coming from all over.  True that depending on the blitz is not necessarily good and opens up the possibility of getting exploited, but still way better than last year's defense.  Craig concerned about run defense.  Brian says that many of the bad things that happened Saturday were result of Beyer in DE/SAM spot he's not ready for (he'll get better; only a freshman).  Fitzgerald a big downgrade from Demens.  Worried about WILL; Herron had really poor day outside of the 2 TD plays; late reacting, did not fill holes, lost leverage.  A lot of rotation at WILL likely.

Third call.  Music at the game, PopEvil song while running out to the banner.  Brian doesn't know if that was a screwup or not and if they cut it late.  Brian rage about RAWK MUSIC and the overall stadium experience/tradtition.  Don't want to be like everybody else.  Ira: Michigan football is not the NFL/NHL; doesn't need gimmicks.  Craig: Neil Diamond is wretched.  Bodies hit the floor, etc.

What will happen on the field?  Craig: a lot of questions with both defense.  Michael Floyd is scary.  Brian: Rees out there is good; sophomore and not mobile, lower ceiling than Crist.  Craig: win by FG after listening to Brian.  ND favored is good for us; favorites 3-19 against the spread.  Key matchup: Floyd vs. Woolfolk.  Floyd will get at least one deep pass, we need to break up a few.   

Fourth call.  Not worried about ND; ND needs to be worried about themselves with turnovers and penalties.


Desmond pwns holtz

Desmond pwns holtz

Submitted by Wolverman on September 8th, 2011 at 7:22 PM
"You are a legend because your team wasn't tough enough to run the ball." Holtz to Desmond
"I'm a legend because your defensive backs weren't coached well enough to stop me." Desmond to Holtz
 He could just said well you talk with a lisp! but Desmond took the high road.…

Thursday night what are you drinking

Thursday night what are you drinking

Submitted by cargo on September 8th, 2011 at 7:17 PM

Since my room flooded about 4 feet deep, and being a previous college student who started football drinking on thursday(meaning there are plenty who have started) here is the first ever pre what are you drinking friday night thread.


Personally since like i said east coast flooding ruined most my shit,3/4 a bottle of makers mark.

SPOILER ALERT - Under the Lights Activities

SPOILER ALERT - Under the Lights Activities

Submitted by TrppWlbrnID on September 8th, 2011 at 4:10 PM

from the University's website, a schedule of the activities for under the lights gameday.

pom poms - not a fan

techno - not a fan


Saturday, Sept. 10 -- Michigan vs. Notre Dame ("Under the Lights"), 8 p.m.

Giveaway: 100,000 Pom-Poms

• Michigan Moments: 1971 Michigan Football Team
• Desmond Howard College Football Hall of Fame
• 9/11 Tribute
• Michigan Sport Spotlight: Ice Hockey, Men's Basketball, Women's Basketball, Volleyball

Michigan Marching Band Halftime Show -- "Techno"
• What is Love
• Till the World Ends
• Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
• Blue
• Dynamite
• Heaven
• Everytime We Touch


[edit] prior to the game

FanFest -- Starts at noon for Notre Dame game
Fans can visit FanFest on the southwest corner of Main St. and Stadium Blvd., across from Michigan Stadium. Hosted by U-M Athletics partner IMG College, FanFest will feature interactive games for fans of all ages in addition to giveaways and samples from clients. Fans will also be able to get their photo taken by the Big Ten Network with an eight-foot Charles Woodson bobblehead.

Tailgate Show -- Starts 2.5 hours before kickoff and runs 90 minutes
Situated on the same corner as FanFest is the location for the "Tailgate Show," which will air on the Michigan Sports Radio Network.

Michigan Marching Band
• Friday -- Afternoon rehearsal, 4:45-6:15 p.m.
• Friday -- Grand Re-opening of Elbel Field, 7:30 p.m. (games and prizes)

• Saturday -- Band Rehearsal in stadium, closed to public
• Saturday -- Percussion Step Show, 6:30 p.m., Steps of Revelli Hall
• Saturday -- March to the Stadium, 7:10 p.m., Revelli Hall