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SoullessHack

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Recent Comments

Date Title Body
1 week 6 days ago Great stuff

And fantastic idea to stop to speak to Laura Hoke.  Thanks for typing this up.  

4 weeks 3 days ago Your friend either has no idea what he's talking about...

... or you misunderstood him.  

 

There is a distilling region of Scotland known as the Lowlands, which produces whiskeys that some people call "Lowland Ladies" because they are lighter and easier to drink than almost any other type of scotch.  Conversely, the Laphroaig distillery, which is located on the sland of Islay, produces incredibly full-bodied, peaty, oily, almost medicinal whiskeys.  There is simply no way anyone who knows anything about scotch would ever say "Laphroaig is for ladies."  

 

Speaking of Laphroaig, although I have a bottle of Quarter Cask on my shelf (and I absolutely love it) I'm celebrating World Whiskey day with High West Rendezvous Rye poured over a really big ice cube.

8 weeks 5 days ago Whoops

Whoops, meant to reply to OP

10 weeks 6 days ago Chris Webber aside..

... that letter was downright creepy.  I can almost guarantee you that it's disconcertingly similar to fanmail Webber received when he was at the height of his playing days.  Honestly, how many variations of the following letter do you think Chris Webber has received:

 

Dear Chris Webber,

 

I've loved you for decades.  No one undestands you the way I do, because I also went through (RANDOM EXPERIENCE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING).  Look at how I altered my appearance to look more like you!  Please pay attention to me.

 

Sincerely,

 

Fan Who Spends Way Too Much Time Thinking About You And Has Clearly Lost Perspective

 

That this guy is an Associate Professor is only slightly less embarrassing for the University than the Ed Martin scandal.

11 weeks 2 days ago Treyus Ex Machina

This.  This is the name.  Put it on the board.

12 weeks 5 days ago Dude. Awesome.

You win the Deep Woods Off Player of the Game award for typing this up.  Bravo and thank you.

13 weeks 2 days ago Useless guesses

1) Fact.

 

2) As someone else said, "Who the hell else is it gonna be?"

 

3) Fact: Kalis and Braden, who will start over Chris Bryant, which will cause much muttering and chin-pulling and scrutinizing on the part of the MGoPriestly class.

 

4) Fiction.  I expect the Spring Game to be an homage to the Stately Offenses of Yore.

 

5) Fiction. 

 

6) Fiction, but he will get heavy rotation.

 

7) Fact.

 

8) Fiction.  Lost in the discussion of Desmond Morgan's height and weight vs. the ideal MLB measurables is what Brian discovered in many a UFR last season.  When Desmond Morgan hits you, you stop.

 

9) Fact.  Because of blind hope.

 

10) Fact.  Gulp.

 

16 weeks 22 hours ago Ugh...

"Interesting to note that former DL coach Montgomery is not even mentioned."

 

Seriously?  The man leaves UM for a job with 1) higher pay and 2) more responsibility and now we're all going to act like girls with too much makeup and too little clothing, dancing drunkenly at Ricks RIGHT IN JERRY'S FACE so he KNOWS that we're totally OVER him.  

The fact that you, OP, mentioned Jerry Montgomery is a lot more revealing than the fact that the article you linked to didn't mention him.  Get over it.  Don't be that drunk girl at Rick's.  

16 weeks 2 days ago My two cents...

... for Unsolicited Advice Fest 2013 is as follows:

 

1) I think a great many people are conflating their feelings about Brian's writing with the results of the 2012 football season.  This is a UM sports blog, and that means it's a UM Football blog.  Having listened to Gary Grant, Roy Tarpley, Antoine Joubert, et al on the radio in my bedroom as a kid I'm as happy as anyone about the Great Basketball Renaissance.  But the Michigan Athletics brand begins and ends with the helmet.  Them's the brakes.

Getting pancaked in the season opener really took the wind out of the football season's sails.  After that, Denard's performance and injuries prevented any kind of consistent momentum.  It would have been one thing to see a senior Denard Robinson put a flawed team on his back and heroically carry them to an 8-5 record while shredding the individual record books in the process.  Instead, we got the Notre Dame game.  And the relief of breaking the losing streak to Michigan State was followed by... the Nebraska game.  Feel the excitement!

2) A message for Brian.  I'm just going to put this out there.  If you like it, you can take it.  If you don't, you can send it right back:  Don't listen to one f-ing word anyone on here has to say about your writing.  Not one.  You created something from nothing.  This entire blog sprung from your head like Athena.  So in the words of Mr. Earlie Johnson, aka the Hugh Hefner of Muskegon (we all saw that column, right?), just "do what you do," man.  Just do what you do.  

16 weeks 2 days ago This

However, I would argue that what you describe isn't the "other point."  It's the main point.  

 

18 weeks 3 days ago Totally agree

Both Ty Isaac and Leon McQuay-- and their parents -- had plenty of time and resources to discern which college was right for them.  If they were as dilligent as they claimed to be, there should be nothing particularly surprising about this move.  In fact, as Steve Lorenz put it on Twitter last night, Lane Kiffin firing his OC two days after Signing Day is "the most USC thing ever."  The fable of the Scorpion and the Frog has appeared in multiple cultures on multiple continents for literally thousands of years.  These recruits and their parents have only themselves to blame if haven't gotten the memo by now,

 

19 weeks 5 days ago Totally agree...

... re: your point about the Fab 5 being a better collection of talent while the current group might be a better team - especially when you factor in the respective coaches.

Take a look at each group's top three players - Webber/Rose/Howard vs. Burke/Hardaway/Robinson. Really hard to argue that the latter group is more talented. But after that, I'd take Stauskas/Morgan/McGary and the rest over King/Jackson/Voskuhl and company.

And Coach B vs. Coach F? Um... not even close.

19 weeks 5 days ago Nothing against Trey Burke...

... but did you ever see Chris Webber play in college?

28 weeks 4 days ago "Bunch protectors"

I remeber reading an SI article where Bo mentioned that the trainers had to create special pads called "Bunch protectors" because Jarrod Bunch kept hurting people during blocking drills.  So JB gets the nod.

 

And now I realize that I can't edit/complete my original post.  SoullessHack, Jr #2 strikes again.

 

28 weeks 4 days ago I'm going to date myself, here

 

... but most of these players will be from my personal "Golden Era" of Michigan football, which does not necessarily correspond to success on the field as much as it reflects a time in my life when I was old enough to understand and watch football, but still young enough that these players seemed like 20-foot tall diamond-crusted demi-gods.  Not all of them.  But most.
 
Coach- Bo.
 
QB- Jim Harbaugh
RB- Jamie Morris
FB- Jarrod Bunch
WR- Anthony Carter
WR- Desmond Howard
TE- Paul Jokisch (Yes, Paul Jokisch.  Because I can neither describe nor explain the joy Paul Jokisch receptions gave me as a youngster.  They didn't come often, but they always seemed to come on 3rd and 8, and they always seemed to be for 15+ yards.)
TE- Derrick Walker
T- Greg Skrepenak (er, legal "troubles" aside)
T- Jake Long
G- Steve Hutchinson
G- Mark Hammerstein
C- David Molk
 
 
DE- James Hall
DE-
DL- Mark Messner
DL-
LB- Andy Moeller
LB-
LB-
CB- Leon Hall
CB- Charles Woodsen
S- Tripp Welbourne
S-
 
P-
K-
KR-
KR-
PR-
PR-
 
Crap.  SoullessHack, Jr #2 just woke up.  More later.

 

29 weeks 4 days ago Stauskas!

Holy crap!

29 weeks 5 days ago That 1986 Minnesota game

Still breaks my heart to this day. It was my first experience dealing with a shocking, out-of-nowhere upset of my favorite sports team, and my 11-year-old brain just couldn't comprehend what was going on.

Why does that guy for Minnesota keep running for 1st downs on 3rd-and-long? Why can't they just TACKLE him?! This isn't supposed to be happening!

Ugh. I can still hear Howard King saying, "Ricky Foggie the ball carrier..." (which seems like such an odd phrase today, but somehow our never struck me as odd back then).

29 weeks 6 days ago Stauskas being inserted for D?

After TB's first free throw to put Mich up 58-62. Interesting, given that the CW is that his defense is preventing him from starting.

35 weeks 6 days ago Amazing

My God -- it's full of stars!

40 weeks 1 day ago Two things

1) Blockquoted in MGoBlog = the highlight of my career. I'm not joking.

2) SoullessHack Jr is definitely a kicker. But probably not for three hours. Probably.

40 weeks 1 day ago Similar feelings to Brian

I felt the same thing you did, Brian, though for different reasons. Work, life, having kids and the crushing Alabama defeat left me feeling the exactly the way you described.

I was on my couch, not in the stadium (get off my back, I'm 2500 miles away). I was wearing my t-shirt. My two year old son was beside me, cheering gamely for "Deenarr WOB-inson!" as the team stood on the sidelines before kickoff. (SoullessHack, Jr. refers to both #16 and the entire team as Denard Robinson... although any non-Denard player is "the guy.") It was nice. Nice. Not the gut-churning excitement I've felt every other year. But it was nice. I guess.

Then Denard made the MLB miss. I counted three steps straight upfield and said, calmly, "They're not going to get him. SoullessHack, Jr., though, jumped up on the couch and started screaming, "DENARR WOBINSON DENARR WOBINSON! RUNNING! RUN RUN RUN!" When they cut to the cheering crowd, SHJr took his cue began to clap and jump up and down.

"HE DID IT! DENARR WOBINSON RUN SO FAST WIFF DA FOOTBAWL!!"

Yeah, the defense probably stinks. The OL will be a continuing source of mysterious disappointment all season long. Borges will have to cobble together an offense from a grab bag of nonsense like freshmen TEs, converted QBs and that flea flicker play from Tecmo Super Bowl. But there's worse things than watching SHJr watch Denarr Wobinson will run so fast wiff the footbawl.

42 weeks 1 day ago Arrrgh

Stupid phone.

Breaks are after "money," and "breaking."

42 weeks 1 day ago Seconded

I was also very confused by this.

42 weeks 1 day ago Haiku

Great sea of money
Proud Tide rolls before breaking
Muppets, friend, muppets

42 weeks 1 day ago Nice work

The "shoelaces in the wind" gets my vote for best haiku as of 10:24 am Pacific time.

42 weeks 4 days ago Chris Bryant

IMO, the most revealing part of the Borges video is when he's asked about the injury to Chris Bryant. Paraphrased question: Does Chris Bryant's injury make you worry even more about OL depth? Paraphrases answer: Not really.

Sounds like Burzynski and Kalis would be the next two guards off the bench -- even before Bryant's injury.

47 weeks 4 days ago High West Rendezvous Rye

One ice cube.

48 weeks 4 days ago Ardbeg

Couple drops of water.

50 weeks 3 days ago HA

You've obviously never spent significant time around actresses.

1 year 1 week ago Excellent advice

Real quick, though: When SHOULD someone "spout" their ignorance, if not "when (they) don't know what they're f-ing talking about"? Isn't that the only time one is able to spout one's ignorance?

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