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- 7 years 38 weeks
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|3 days 1 hour ago||Oh shit. This story is so||
Oh shit. This story is so spicy, that woman would want to have it deported.
|3 days 2 hours ago||Not exactly wacky, but I have||
Not exactly wacky, but I have a coworker who constantly burps and farts. At first I thought he might be sick, as I am no stranger to GI issues, but it kept going. He's also putting a huge amount of force behind these farts, so it's not like they're just slipping out. Nobody seems to acknowledge them either. I'm relatively new and I presume this guy has been around for a long time. Nobody has called him on his shit.
|3 days 4 hours ago||I basically celebrated 420 on||
I basically celebrated 420 on Good Friday, so I'll sit out today. Plus I have work and I'm a bit of a lightweight.
|4 days 43 min ago||Why? Do they have a prison||
Why? Do they have a prison there?
|4 days 2 hours ago||Be dangerous ;)||
Be dangerous ;)
|1 week 3 days ago||I'm glad you clarified that||
I'm glad you clarified that C-word. I wouldn't want you to break your mother's heart :P
|1 week 3 days ago||I only have three days off,||
I only have three days off, but I'm going to eat some pot brownies tomorrow, party with my future wife on Saturday, and hopefully play hockey on Sunday. Should be a good time.
|2 weeks 2 days ago||I took a big vacation to the||
I took a big vacation to the USVI a couple years ago. My first day there, someone from work texted me about getting some raw material. I responded "I'm on vacation this week" and he sent me a frowny face emoji. This dude was in his 50s.
|3 weeks 2 days ago||My fiance was a Spartan fan,||
My fiance was a Spartan fan, but she enjoyed watching sports with me and hated watching MSU play this season, so she crossed over. It might be related to some sort of Pavolovian response, too, since I'm definitely more DTF when UM wins.
|3 weeks 4 days ago||:D D: :D D:||
:D D: :D D:
|4 weeks 2 days ago||You are pathetic.||
You are pathetic.
|4 weeks 5 days ago||Yes, have some!||
Yes, have some!
|4 weeks 5 days ago||Duck heart is one of the most||
Duck heart is one of the most delicious things I have ever tasted.
|4 weeks 6 days ago||I've always felt that his||
I've always felt that his eyes came straight from the uncanny valley.
|5 weeks 3 days ago||It's cheap, easy, and||
It's cheap, easy, and permanent. I think it was about $300, but insurance covered it. In my case, my SO had an IUD, but they had to remove it a few weeks later due to some cervix issues. All-in-all, I simply don't need to worry about pregnancy any longer.
|5 weeks 3 days ago||I had my vasectomy in March.||
I had my vasectomy in March. Staying home from work with frozen corn on my balls while watching Basketball would have only been better had I not had two healing incisions in my scrotum.
|5 weeks 3 days ago||The sedation is pretty||
The sedation is pretty fantastic. You wake up feeling a little tipsy, in a good way. I have had three colonoscopies in my 20s because of some GI issues, and I have never experienced what the prep does to your ass in any other circumstance. The most satisfying feeling is being able to eat after the procedure is over and just gourging yourself.
|6 weeks 3 days ago||Lost power at work, but not at home, so I get to||
Lost power at work, but not at home, so I get to watch the game.
|7 weeks 3 days ago||Glotzer's Stat Mech class was||
Glotzer's Stat Mech class was probably the most difficult class I ever took, but it was insanely interesting.
|7 weeks 4 days ago||He's melting.||
|8 weeks 2 days ago||#NoPolitics on Flat||
#NoPolitics on Flat Earthers!
/s if it wasn't obvious
|8 weeks 3 days ago||If you sit on your dick and||
If you sit on your dick and make it really numb, it feels like you're jacking off a stranger.
|8 weeks 3 days ago||Then shouldn't your son be||
Then shouldn't your son be sleep deprived? /s
|9 weeks 5 days ago||I don't trust people who||
I don't trust people who don't use birth control.
|9 weeks 5 days ago||This went in a less vulgar||
This went in a less vulgar direction than I expected, and that somehow makes me feel refreshed.
|9 weeks 5 days ago||I got my fiance a "craft your||
I got my fiance a "craft your own wine" kit, but it won't be here until tomorrow. She works late tonight so we got frogurt yesterday to celebrate. She also got me tickets to see the Detroit production of Rent, so I'm super jazzed she decided to celebrate this year.
|10 weeks 5 days ago||I can't tell if this is a||
I can't tell if this is a joke or if you're really that stupid, but I think your signature gives it away.
|10 weeks 5 days ago||Bah||
|10 weeks 6 days ago||<blockquote>Bill Belichick||
"Bill Belichick said (you can’t find many) guys that weigh 350 pounds and are athletic and long like he is; I mean they don’t grow on trees…"
Underrated comment right here.
|11 weeks 3 days ago||There used to be tests for||
There used to be tests for voting. I don't think bringing them back should be something to strive for.