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Oh my god, that "Nicki Minaj visits a bar mitzvah" piece.

That was Internet writing and it's freshest and most entertaining.

This was a great read as usual, Brian.

See, the thing about this is

that I'm an idiot.

Fine.

I'll be the asshole pedant to say great joke, Brian, very well done, but it's Perd Hapley.

As an OSU fan

and a person who put a lot of confidence points on Iowa State in his 2011 bowl pick 'em after their high-scoring upset of previously-undefeated Okie State, I have to say that "it's Iowa State" goes a long way, especially in one respect: his QBs that season were unfathomably terribad. I was ripping my hair out watching The Immortal Steele Jantz chucking moonballs and bounce-passing screens all game in their bowl loss to Rutgers that year.

steven'sssssssssssss

LAST NIGHT IN TOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

One thing I have learned from the MGoPodcast

is that Brian and I apparently have nearly-identical musical tastes.

I lol'd

"As long as someone shakes Traevon Jackson and tells him he's not Trey Burke every 30 seconds, they have to be the league favorite."

Actual text message I sent a buddy of mine at 10:49 PM on March 29, 2014:

"Wisconsin would be 10-15% better than they are if Traevon Jackson knew that he's not that good."

Amir

"Amir Williams.There's no nice way to say this. He is not all there."

Been saying this for three years. He has gotten better since he was a freshman, but he still looks like he doesn't know what he's doing at least half the time (instead of 100% of the time, as he did as a frosh). It absolutely blows my mind that he was a five-star recruit coming out of high school. His first year at OSU he looked like he had never played basketball before, and was just some tall guy Matta found on campus and decided to throw out there, sight unseen. He has shown marginal improvement in three years. He is incredibly frustrating to watch.

Well, for me, anyway.

My eyes see what your eyes see.

Ross has a terrible handle, but I think he has cut down on dribbling, except for drives to the hole, in which case he only has to dribble once or twice. His turnover rate was around 25% last year; he's reduced that, but by avoiding dribbling rather than improving his skill level. Whatever, I'll take it.

RE: UM winning at OSU - I know Michigan won in Columbus in 2003 (I want to say Abram, Brown, and Horton were freshmen?). I think that was the last time.

I'm just saying I don't like

I'm just saying I don't like presuming that the guy said something horrible, with absolutely no evidence other than the post-game remarks by Smart. Especially in light of Orr's denial, the investigation (however brief) by Texas Tech, and the video that was released. He might have said something horrible and he might not have. But it seems just as likely to me that Smart is a little bit of a hothead, who gave up being a surefire top-3 pick to come back to college and is seeing that decision kind of blow up in his face a little bit, and who has become so frustrated that he lost his cool at the slightest provocation. I mean, that's stuff we know and can see (his subpar - for him - performance this year, his clear frustration on the court, the aforementioned chair incident). That's stuff we can use to draw reasonable conclusions. Saying "I bet the fan actually said something worse" is just blind speculation, and it just kind of irks me that so many people are still saying it, trying to justify (or at least mitigate) Smart's actions.

What Smart did was unacceptable. It doesn't make him the worst person in the world; he just made a mistake and is being punished accordingly. But it's kind of weird that so many people are trying to drum up justifications for him, based on basically no evidence whatsoever.

Well,

"First, there is no way that guy called Smart a 'piece of crap' unless it was part of a larger stream of profanity."

Why, because there's no way Smart would resort to violent action without being provoked by the guy? Please advise as to what unconscionable insult the chair hurled at him a few weeks ago.

Williams's defense

I don't think OSU's lofty defensive rank is an indicator that he's anything more than adequate. OSU's 2-point defense and defensive rebounding rate are essentially league average. The two areas where the defense excels are three-point defense (going into last night's game, the only B1G team better at preventing opponents' three-point attempts was Wisconsin) and turnover rate (best in the conference). As I said, defensively he's adequate; nothing more, nothing less. Which is much better than he was as a freshman, and which in no way makes up for how terrible he is offensively. He's a 'B' defender and a 'D' offensive player.

RE: OSU

Della Valle is a decent offensive player. He's probably the best jumpshooter on the team and he's got that sneaky-deceptive Euro thing going on his drives to the basket. But he is an abhorrent defender, and I believe that is the reason he doesn't see more minutes.

Amir Williams has improved, albeit not a ton. He was legitimately clueless as a freshman. I remember him coming in to a home game against Illinois and Meyers Freaking Leonard just went around him like Williams was a fencepost in the ground, like, three straight possessions, and Thad took him out immediately. He is now a decent post defender. Not great, but average. On offense, he can finish at the rim, but for various reasons - chief among them the oven mitts Brian mentioned - he gets very few opportunities. He doesn't look as clueless as he did two years ago, but no, he is by no means "good."

I guess what I'm saying is, yes, I would take Jordan Morgan in a heartbeat.

And I believe Miller later

And I believe Miller later said that he was ecstatic that Charles Finley was the only owner who pointed out that TOTAL free agency, while netting the superstars enormous contracts, would retain a buyer's market for all of the other players. He figured the other owners thought Finley was crazy and would ignore his suggestion. Which they did.

RE: the constant pass interference

This is the first time I've noticed a football team employing that strategy, whereas it's been quite common in basketball for a while. VCU comes to mind immediately, as do those Kramer/Hummel/Moore Purdue teams from a few years ago. They go into every game basically saying "yeah, we're gonna get called for 25 fouls in this game, but we're actually gonna foul you 50+ times, and the refs won't call everything." An incredibly annoying, and effective, strategy.

Ohio State fan here

I first want to say that I'm a huge fan of the work you guys do. I devour all the posts on MGoBlog, and because of that, I felt like I had just about as good a handle on the Wolverines as I did my own team. Obviously the offensive explosion from Gardner and company was a huge surprise, so I wanted to get your fanbase's take on the following question, which I present honestly. No trolling, scout’s honor.

It seems like Al Borges spent every week after the Notre Dame game, in face of rapidly diminishing offensive returns, saying that the team was running optimal plays and just needed to "execute better." The writers of this site, especially Brian and Ace, repeatedly called for a change in gameplan, to focus more on the offense's strengths (namely spreading the field and relying on Gardner and a pretty good WR corps, IIRC). The offense got worse and worse until the OSU game, when they appeared to go primarily to the shotgun passing game and implement many of the contraints that the writers here, and the fanbase as a whole, seemed to have been clamoring for (the bubbles, the "go-up-and-git-it," etc.). So I respectfully ask, quasi-multistate bar exam style, that you select the "most correct" statement from the list below:

(A) Borges is incredibly stubborn/stupid and finally, after 11 games, decided of his own volition to call plays that cater to the particular strengths of the offensive roster.

(B) Borges is incredibly stubborn/stupid and, going into the OSU game, Hoke had to step in and demand the playcalling/philosophical changes the team exhibited in the OSU game.

(C) Borges ran the longest, most damaging rope-a-dope in college football history, saving the "real plays," so to speak, for the OSU game.

(D) There was no substantive change in the philosophy/playcalling, and the team really did just "execute better" in the OSU game.

(E) There was no substantive change in the philosophy/playcalling, and Gardner just played the game of his life.

(F) There was no substantive change in the philosophy/playcalling; Ohio State's defense just played terribly.

(G)  (A) and (C)

(H)  (D) and (E)

(I)  (D) and (F)

(J) Other (please specify)

Cheers, and good luck in your bowl game. Bee One Gee, etc.

FWIW

Penn State had gone for it on fourth down at the OSU 25, and the officials pretty obviously screwed up the spot. Meyer had the choice of either saying "eh, go ahead and have your first down and keep your drive going," or "screw that, we're taking the ball back." He chose the latter. I would hope most coaches would as well.

RE: The BCS: the American Conference (or whatever the hell the corpse of the Big East is called) is still an auto-bid conference, and it's because they're so crappy that we are possibly (probably?) going to see Central Florida, Northern Illinois, and Fresno State in BCS games this winter.

I had forgotten about it

I remember at the time I had recently read and throroughly enjoyed Blink, and as I progressed through the article I kept going, "Oh god, he's not gonna take that information and extrapolate that... shit, yep, there, he did it." So dispiriting at the time. Now it's just funny.

My HS varsity team played a

My HS varsity team played a lot of 3-2. On a possibly-related note, we were not very good.

I used to agree with you

Maybe it's the case that, for me, the "illusion of the supernatural" is simply gone.

I didn't play organized basketball after high school, but I had a couple of moments then where I felt like there was no way I wasn't in "the zone." I remember one game where I made four three-pointers in the fourth quarter, and for years reflecting back on the game I remembered feeling like each shot was so ... I don't know... inevitable. I would use phrases like "the basket looked like it was the size of a swimming pool" and "I don't know, man, I just knew it was going in." And for years, you couldn't do anything to convince me otherwise. Hell, it's still vivid in my memories.

But now there's a larger part of me that wonders if it's just confirmation bias. Like, are there numerous other times when I hoisted triples and thought "oh yeah, I'm totally feeling it," only for the shot to rim out, and my mind just forgot about it or dismissed it, choosing to remember the times it came to pass? Quite frankly, that seems more likely than being in some mystical "zone" where everything I do works out.

And that's why I look with skepticism at most sportswriters, whose stock-in-trade is grafting narratives onto events that are largely random. I can't help but view things in terms of probabilities. KenPom (I think) said that with about 2:30 left in the Kansas game, Michigan had a 0.5% chance of winning. As unlikely as it was, approximately one time out of 200 it would happen. This was that time.

A large part of me wishes I still believed in stuff like "will to win" and the power of "grit." But I just don't. And that's why when I read things like "Trey Burke wanted it more," I can't help but think to myself, "did he 'want it more' the first 38 minutes of the game? If so, why didn't he do anything about it? If not, why not?"

That being said, this is beautifully written and an enjoyable read. And that's coming from an OSU grad. Good luck in the FF. Bee one gee uber alles.

Norlander

During the regular season I occasionally listen to Norlander's podcast, but have been listening to most of them leading up to/during the tournament. He definitely didn't pick them in that column because it's "trendy." He's been banging the "Am I the only one who still believes in Michigan?" drum for two solid weeks. I'm pretty sure he picked them to go to the final four when the brackets were first announced, so I guess it's not surprising that he's sticking with that pick.

Rob Parker

Is very interested in this Cornballer you speak of...

I couldn't help thinking of

I couldn't help thinking of this post, and specifically that Glockner article, while watching Boise play last night. They looked like a JV team.

Well...

"Gonzaga is extremely unlikely to lose"

Seeing as how they won their conference tournament last night, I'd say it's about as unlikely as possible.

HEY-O

The guy Roundtree was trying

The guy Roundtree was trying to block is safety Ohrian Johnson, not linebacker Ryan Shazier. OSU had five DBs on the field that play. FYI.

Whoa whoa whoa

Dusty Baker?

WOOOOOOO Go Villa! Beat Arsenal last week, and taking down Manchester United tomorrow! WOOOOOOOO!!!!
I read somewhere ... that General Motors is looking into harnessing SEC speed as a power source for their hybrid cars. One 4.3 40-yard-dash is roughly equivalent to a 25% increase in vehicle horsepower, if I remember correctly.
I'm tempted... ... to get all Pirsig on you and ask you to define "Quality." But I'm not an asshole. Well, I AM an asshole, I'm just not being one now.