also duty-free guys falling over and grabbing their shins
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|14 weeks 5 days ago||Academic reform||
The first major announcement by President Sweatervest: A new four-year major program in Tattoo Arts. Suggested minor: Sports Trophy Marketing.
|16 weeks 19 hours ago||Delayed gratification||
C'mon now, Jameis! All you needed to do was wait a little while longer and you could have bought the whole damn crab.
|23 weeks 5 days ago||Applause||
This piece is a well-deserved tribute to a winner, on and off the court. I can only hope that the applause he gets from the Crisler fans at the final home game will be long and loud. Actually, he deserves "thunderous" applause.
|27 weeks 17 hours ago||New nickname||
Perhaps we should now refer to Spurrier as "The Old Bawl Coach."
|30 weeks 1 day ago||Terry Pratchett on half-full/empty glasses||
"There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!"
|30 weeks 6 days ago||Don't do it, Lewand!||
Get the tattoo, that is. An Ohio State tat could very well be the mark of the beast, and you'll be hounded by Jack Van Impe, Hal Lindsey and others who may peg you as the Antichrist.
|31 weeks 1 day ago||Fractions||
Why worry about the prospect that half the fan base will be pissed off? It already IS pissed off. Or in my case, apathetic. Another coaching change. BFD. Bring on spring training.
|31 weeks 5 days ago||Historical equivalent||
Saban and Kiffin together is the football equivlent of the non-aggression pact between HItler and Stalin ... and it will last just about as long.
|32 weeks 20 hours ago||Misnomer||
With album titles like those, the band may as well change its name to Sex Panther.
|32 weeks 3 days ago||If.....||
the Browns are dumb enough to hire The Vest, then this thread suddenly gains a lot of relevance.
|37 weeks 19 hours ago||Priorities||
My two rooting priorities are:
1. State of Michigan schools over non-state of Michigan schools.
2. Conference schools over non-conference schools.
Regarding #1, go Sparty on Saturday.
Regarding #2, there are times when a rule must be broken. I did root for the Nuts in the national title game against Miami under the mistaken assumption that only one group of criminals was taking the field. If OSU makes it to the title game this year, I won't get fooled again. To hell with those bird-flipping, mouth-breathing, florid-faced, gap-toothed morons. I would even root for the South Bend Pullets before I would Ohio.
|38 weeks 19 hours ago||Tears in hell||
"Gentlemen: The school from Ohio will be bringing fans of a certain bottom-dwelling type to our House. They will include fathers and sons wearing matching sets of buckeye nut necklaces. It is our job to defeat their team and make these goobers cry piterously. . . .pisseously. . . .pattyeously. . . .oh, never mind. MAKE 'EM CRY LIKE HELL!"
|38 weeks 1 day ago||The right word||
Hoke could have used more acidic language than "fickle" (see the Bo Pelini rant against Husker fans). But he still misses the mark. The more accurate word would have been "demanding."
For me, who has been in Hoke's corner, the jury is now out as the team is likely to slip below the 8-4 I had predicted. I hate the bugger, but Dantonio improves the teams he coaches. So did Carr, for the most part (remember how people howled about him?). We are seeing the opposite here and that's on the coaches. Deterioration is not what I want to see as a fan. If that makes me fickle, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
|39 weeks 18 hours ago||All I know is. .||
. . .that one more game like the Nebraska game would have caused me to do a four-day creep. Thanks for the Humble Pie meme. Steve Marriott, music's version of Vincent Smith (tiny but tough), would be proud.
|48 weeks 6 days ago||Wrestling flashback||
What Mr. Hand did was not technically a body-slam. It was a suplex (or as Gordon Solie pronounced it, a "soo-play.") But whatever you call it, the hit was a real slobberknocker (to use another wrestling phrase courtesy of Dusty Rhodes).
|1 year 8 weeks ago||Biting humor||
Guy walks into the bar, sits down and after a while bets the bartender $10 that he can bite his own eye. The bartendder accepts the bet, whereupon the guy takes a set of false teeth out of his mouth and clamps them on his left eye.
The bartender grumbles and hands over the $10. The guy says, "That really wasn't fair. I'll bet you $20 I can bite my other eye." The bartender thinks this is a sure bet and accepts. The guy then takes out his right eye, a glass eye, and bites it. Now the bartender is furious and slaps a $20 on the bar.
"Now I really feel bad," says the guy. "Tell you what. I'll give you a chance to win $50. I'll bet you that if you slide a shot glass down the bar past me, I can piss into it without a single drop going outside the glass."
The bartender thought and said, "Okay pal, you're on!"
He went to the end of the bar, slid the shot glass and the guy totally missed, leaving the bar dripping.
"Well, I guess you finally lost!" said the bartender in triumph.
"That depends on how you look at it," said the guy. "See that table full of guys over in the corner? I bet them $100 that I would piss all over you bar."
|1 year 10 weeks ago||Hit parade||
Tennessee, UCLA and Kansas.
|1 year 11 weeks ago||Out of position||
Start him at LB. My memories of getting too near a sow with piglets remind me that his species has incredible closing speed.
|1 year 12 weeks ago||It's 1969 okay||
I pick Don Moorhead, because he's a homeboy (from South Haven) and because he was QB in my favorite game in Michigan history, the gigantic upset in 1969 over Ohio.
Then Rick Leach, the guts and glue of the Maize and Blue.
Then Denard, for "guts and glue" brought forward into the 21st century.
|1 year 15 weeks ago||Inferiority complex||
Yes, they have a little brother complex, but you would too if you had an entire classification of jokes aimed at you. I'm referring to the "Aggie joke" humor subgenre, which I didn't know about until living in Texas. Example: What's the best thing to ever come out of College Station? Highway 6. Did you hear about the Aggie whose dog kept getting hurt while chasing parked cars? The Sparties have no idea how bad it could really get.
|1 year 17 weeks ago||Confusion||
The Cubs have been confused since 1908.
|1 year 22 weeks ago||No connection||
This son of the ould sod (Shaw and Callahan) reminds you that the Irish saved civilization long before Sparty started destroying furniture.
|1 year 23 weeks ago||Wardrobe malfunction||
Whoever is coming up with these designs must hate athletes and wishes to denigrate them by making them play wearing pajamas. At this rate, the sneaks will look like those bunny slippers Ralphie was forced to wear in "A Christmas Story."
|1 year 24 weeks ago||The Godfather of Soul||
The event: Losing to Ohio State
The catharsis: "The Big Payback" by James Brown. JB is great blowing-off-steam music, great house cleaning music. . . .just great in general. And "Talkin' Loud and Sayin' Nothing" gets heavy rotation after any episode of Urbanspeak, Geespeak and Smithspeak.
|1 year 26 weeks ago||Escalation||
Bop-era jazz (Bud Powell, Thelonious Monk) until my deadlines are met.
In the afternoon, I'll be in the mood for some old-fashioned Detroit high energy: MC5, Wayne Kramer, The Racketeers, Sonic's Rendezvous Band. Kick out the jams and let it snow.
|1 year 27 weeks ago||This is. . .||
Ohio hooey. And that's the foulest, smelliest kind.
|1 year 27 weeks ago||A modest proposal||
Marcus Ray should have a five-minute conversation with the kid. That should take care of it. Now let's light up and just move along.
|1 year 28 weeks ago||Title tracking||
At first, the title suggested a humorous OT, but now I understand the lacross angle.
And yet, if you really want to discuss B1G expansion, how about competition between hospitals? We could stage individual events in operating rooms witih spectators — but no cheering or Junior Mints allowed. Recruiting "hello" posts on this blog could include "fake incision times."
|1 year 29 weeks ago||Progeny||
The behavior of Titus Young Sr. imperils the future of Titus Young Jr. Those tender father-son teaching times will no doubt include such nuggets as "Don't be disrespected," "Learn how to handle your bidness" and other phrases intended to excuse sociopathy. A pox on him. Trade him to the Raiders.
|1 year 30 weeks ago||The next level||
Wherever he plays, Denard will be a work in progress. But I think the best solution would be to develop him as quickly as possible as a kick returner while he matures into a WR. He could be the new Devin Hester, now that the present one seems relatively uninterested in going on.