alternate headline: man does job
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- 7 years 9 weeks
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|20 hours 49 min ago||Puppies all over the||
Puppies all over the world
Start a Pug train, Pug train
|21 hours 33 min ago||(No subject)||
|1 day 18 hours ago||"NOT FTL. But||
"NOT FTL. But transmissable"
Reminds me of a date I once had....
|2 days 17 hours ago||Tackle Basketball, now||
Tackle Basketball, now there's a sport. We used to play in the snow wearing football helmets, moon boots, and snowmobile suits. Getting body checked into the house (driveway court) always sucked/was glorious.
We also had a hybrid Tennis - Dodge ball game. There was a woodpile on the property boundary with our neighbors that served as a net. Each yard had monster walnut trees that would drop these incredible green projectiles all over the yards in early fall. One hand would hold a steel trash can lid used as a shield while the other held a tennis racket used to zing green walnuts at your opponent in the next yard. Man would those leave a welt when you failed to block or dodge.
|2 days 20 hours ago||(No subject)||
|1 week 18 hours ago||Very well, where do I begin?||
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloé with webbed feet.
My father would womanize; he would drink; he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament ...
My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon ... luge lessons ... In the spring, we'd make meat helmets ... When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds — pretty standard, really.
At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Vilmer ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum — it's breathtaking ... I suggest you try it.
|1 week 22 hours ago||Well, you did just do the||
Well, you did just do the very thing that you are calling the blog "the worst sometimes" for so yeah.......
|1 week 1 day ago||Coach absorbs the life force||
Coach absorbs the life force of his vanquished foes and is therefore immortal.
|1 week 1 day ago||the winningest coach in||
the winningest coach in
He'll make Saban look like a chump before he's done.
|1 week 2 days ago||I took a bazillian pics. Too||
I took a bazillian pics. Too many for me to sort through tonight. I'll try to have em posted tomorrow afternoon.
|1 week 3 days ago||I had an uncle that died from||
I had an uncle that died from ballz lock. Too soon man. To soon....
|1 week 3 days ago||Monsters....||
|1 week 3 days ago||1. Start a podcast called||
1. Start a podcast called "Ballz Talk"
2. Talk about ballz.
|1 week 4 days ago||With the ugly||
With the ugly Kardashian.
Lamar, oh, sorry yo, we done both set the bar low.
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||It didn't occur to me to make||
It didn't occur to me to make you monkeys entertain for my extra ticket. Well played Fab. Well played....
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||Responded. I made a donation||
Responded. I made a donation to Chad Tough already for the tix but I strongly encourage you to do the same anyway :)
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||My reciept says General||
My reciept says General admission so it's first-come I suppose.
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||Ticket has been claimed.||
Ticket has been claimed.
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||Yes but I have a personality||
Yes but I have a personality to the best of my ability.
|2 weeks 21 hours ago||Shoot me an email to||
Shoot me an email to [email protected]
Reply to me here with the email you'll use so I know its you.
|2 weeks 23 hours ago||Matt Millen guessing at this||
Matt Millen guessing at this for all of eternity and still getting it wrong seems about right.
|2 weeks 23 hours ago||(No subject)||
|2 weeks 1 day ago||Please tell me whyyyyyyy my car is in the front yard|
|2 weeks 1 day ago||"insanely hot and, as it||
"insanely hot and, as it turned out, actually insane"
Amazing how that works.
|2 weeks 1 day ago||I did some of my best work||
I did some of my best work drunk.
|2 weeks 1 day ago||I attended grade school with||
I attended grade school with a girl who was pretty but beanpole thin. Like wow-I-can-see-your-skeleton thin. We'll call her Christie. Nice girl too and I was friends with her but never beyond that. Graduation came and as is typical, we drifted in different directions.
Four years later, I was hanging at the county fair with some friends and rubber-necked this gorgeous blond that walked by. Turns out it was Christie and boy-oh-boy had she filled out. Could have (should have) been a model. I ditched my friends, (of course I did) and spent the rest of the day with her. Made a date and went out that, and the following two nights.
In our time apart, Christie had become a remarkably successful stripper in Indiana of all places. The kind that could freelance and make bank traveling to multiple strip joints. On our third date, I got a private demo ;)
So here's the payoff. She stayed at my apartment that night. When we woke in the morning, we had quite the heart-to-heart before we even got out of bed.
Christie "I'm not going to quit you know"
Me "Um, what"?
Christie "I'M not going to quit stripping. If you can't deal with that then this can't work"
Me "It's not like I'm taking you home to mom, you're a stripper"
That was the day that I learned the scope of a woman's wrath. It didn't take her long to get dressed and leave but she screamed the entire time while occasionally hurling objects at me. Kind of a jerk move in hindsight but in my defense, I was young/foolish and it just came out. I haven't seen her since.
|2 weeks 2 days ago||Congratulations Brian! The||
The world has just changed for you in so many (wonderful) ways.
|3 weeks 18 hours ago||There's an obvious absurdity||
There's an obvious absurdity to what I had said. People getting internet angry over a 43 year old award-winning magazine cover is fairly commonplace so please excuse :)
|3 weeks 18 hours ago||Angry much? Happy Friday!||
Happy Friday! :)
|3 weeks 19 hours ago||wooooooooosh....||