"Though I received no official response to these sophisticated and elegant tweets to the Illini Athletic Department, I would like to think that Beckman spent the evening prank calling everyone in Illinois named George McLellan and then ordering an absurd amount of hats off an internet haberdashery to hoard in his home's hat annex."
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|15 hours 39 min ago||My dog weighs 8 pounds||
That's crazy small for a dog. Are you sure it's not a guinea pig?
|17 hours 45 min ago||My dog would be a trainer or water boy||
He's slow, not very agile, and scared of loud noises.
|17 hours 47 min ago||MGoBlue doesn't list Russell as B1G POY||
And Wikipedia says the award didn't begin until 1985
|19 hours 58 min ago||Here's the list of B10 POYs|
|20 hours 13 min ago||That's two straight B10 Player of the Year awards||
Can't imagine that's been done too often.
|22 hours 59 min ago||I think you've got that one backwards.||
So you're saying that Izzo is an irresistible force and Mitch is highly movable? OK then.
|1 day 24 min ago||a recently made up war between "science" and "the church"||
Since you broke the seal, I'm jumping in.
The war ain't made up, pal. It might not involve the Catholic Church so much these days, but if you think that there isn't open conflict between a large number of certain churches in the U.S. and the real scientific community, you ain't paying attention.
|1 day 32 min ago||I have an easy role for Mitch if we play MSU again||
Put him out there on a fast break after Izzo has started edging his way further and further out onto the court.
Irresistible force meets highly movable object.
|1 day 17 hours ago||I'm no real fan of Izzo||
but I'm not going to begrudge him or any other coach—obviously including Beilein—the right to get angry with the shit that a small number of fans say and do, nor would I get upset if they simply cold-cocked the asshole. There are few of us here would be able to restrain ourselves in these situations. That assclown student who got in the face of the Hawaii coach and then started motioning like he wanted to get it on is lucky he didn't get the beatdown he thoroughly and richly deserved.
|1 day 21 hours ago||McGary breathed too hard on a AZ player & got called||
Totally legit call... Mitch didn't brush his teeth that morning so his breath was pretty bad.
|1 day 21 hours ago||My father-in-law lied about his age and enlisted in the Navy||
at 17. He ended up at D-Day on a Higgins Boat ferrying troops to the Omaha Beach meat grinder. Never talked about it much until the 50th anniversary of the Normandy Landings. First and only time I've ever seen him in tears.
|2 days 5 hours ago||Virtually all of these players were in diapers in 1997||
To them CW is just some old guy from the misty depths of time.
Oh wait, that's me.
|2 days 13 hours ago||I'm just here for the negbang||
Just wish I could neg more than once in situations like this
|2 days 17 hours ago||Gotta shoot better than 4-15 for the three||
We took advantage of the free throws and turnovers, but shooting that poorly from long-distance is not a recipe for success in the NCAAs.
|2 days 17 hours ago||Warning Beilein for that while Izzo and Crean wander all over||
is like John Wayne Gacy's neighbor getting a ticket for not mowing his lawn.
|2 days 19 hours ago||espn hates us....has us as a 5 seed below wisky and state||
From a psychological standpoint of starting the tourney pissed off with something to prove, I'd rather see us at a 5 seed than a #1 seed.
From a program standpoint, you'd always like the #1.
|2 days 21 hours ago||ad museum?||
Is this an autocorrect?
|3 days 3 hours ago||Bosco syrup? You're revealing your age.|
|3 days 3 hours ago||Don Bosco?||
Wasn't he one of the mob bosses at the five families meeting called by Don Corleone in Godfather I?
|3 days 4 hours ago||Welcome to the neighborhood bro.||
I predict he'll be vacationing in La Paz before too long.
|3 days 5 hours ago||Most of our fans are mental pussies||
Your views are interesting and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
|3 days 17 hours ago||I have a confession to make||
For some bizarre reason I cannot explain or justify in any rational way,
I like Bo Pelini.
|4 days 2 hours ago||OK, so bracketmatrix.com has weighed in||
but what does dominatrix.com have to say?
|4 days 5 hours ago||Well, that's not good news.||
Did you ever really think Rosen was remotely likely to commit to UM?
|5 days 29 min ago||so they can take on the challenges and intense play of March.||
Yes, because the current uniforms have proven to be entirely insufficient for the rigors of playing two games in three days.
Whatever. The rubes and suckers will eagerly shell out $90 for the top and $65 for the shorts and David Brandon will pour himself another snifter of brandy to celebrate another marketing coup. After all, it's for the kids.
|5 days 3 hours ago||I'm not sure why people are bummed by them.||
Because in any group of people, there are a few who just cannot manage to not be whiny, petulant children at every opportunity.
|5 days 4 hours ago||so I could be overreacting.||
I'd say you are. Are the Fab Five taking out full-page ads in the NYT to express their opinions, or are they simply answering questions that are being lobbed at them? Ray Jackson is hardly somebody who's been a quote machine.
|5 days 5 hours ago||I am worried that programs will snatch up Bacari and Jordan.||
You should stop worrying about the inevitable. One or both of those guys will be gone to a head coaching job before long. The one thing that will keep one of them here is the chance to take over for Beilein once he retires.
|5 days 5 hours ago||a wholphin.||
Also known as a LOLphin.
|6 days 3 hours ago||"Liberty Street pizza"??||
There was never a business by that name. You're thinking of Thano's Lamplighter on Liberty, which was the unofficial "training table" of the basketball program back then.