Sparty? Are you kidding me? Sparty? Remember when I pioneered that totally sweet comeback led valiantly by everyone's favorite twink, Brady Quinn? I'm so awesome. I coached Tom Brady.
My idea of a romantic getaway is to head to the Motel 6 on the outskirts of South Bend, get a Baskin Robbins Ice Cream cake, and do bad things to my wife.
You haven't lived until you've stuffed yourself with 6 German Chocolate Cakes and felt the excruciating pain of your stomach staples poping and buckling. WOW WHAT A RUSH. IT'S LIKE SKYDIVING FOR FAT PEOPLE.
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