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But how many NFL coaches care about cost-benefit analysis of fourth down strategy?  Or even understand basic statistics?

MAYBE Belichick?

I'm not sure that changing the values of touchdows by +/- 1 point will have much impact on fourth down strategy since that strategy is already overwhelmingly dictated by playing conservatively and following standard protocol rather than by any sort of EV calculations.

Fire Beilein

Uh

No shit

Ew

(comment directed toward Olive Garden, not public masturbation)

Did Dave Brandon tag along too?

Bravo!

Be honored- you have received the elusive Anonymosity Upvote.

We're MICHIGAN. Anything less than 14-0 is unacceptable!

My morbid curiosity got the best of me and I browsed this thread. Oops.

Yeah, Michigan fans!!

We must play like men on Saturday and not get bullied.

Damn right. I can't wait to lay out Calhoun.

Einhorn is Finkle. Finkle is Einhorn.

What's going on with the gray thing on the white uniform's crotch?  Armored codpiece?

Would "Dummy" be short for "Dumbtonio?"

That'll show those dirty $parties

Upvote if you think my avatar is hot

latson3146, grand arbiter of what is and is not "Michigan"

Was Devin seen in Birmingham driving Johnny Football's agent's Ferrari yet?

Big Ten in horrible. PAC-12 is better, but definitely not SEC-good. The PAC-12 has, what, two very good teams and then a bunch of mediocrity?

My hypothesis is that every SEC team besides UK and UT would be in the mix for the B1G championship. Well, a few teams would be more than in the mix; they'd be stone cold locks to win it. But we'll never get to test that theory because the B1G collectively has a pathetic non-conference schedule.

I have it on good authority that Goodell (more like Greenbaydelldouche, am I right?!) is in favor of contraction for the Lions. Expect the league to be reduced to 31 teams within the next four weeks, with Calvin being sent to the Packers. They're just working out the logistics for scheduling. Probably giving the Pack 12 bye weeks and a bye to the Super Bowl. Take it to the bank.

Exactly. Fans get butthurt about losing and then project that onto the players, as if the players go back into the locker room and cry after losing by 50.

Doesn't matter how bad State's offense is if their D keeps scoring like this...

Losing to a D1-AA team is a good start, but they'll need to pad their record with a few losses to the MAC before they'll qualify.

I believe "abstinence" is a big one there, too

Hair Club for Men

Yet another member of the media biased against Michigan.  Disgusting.

I for one can't wait until Michigan shocks the world and this so-called writer.  Nobody is giving them a chance, but I think they can do it.

Louisville by four.

Five words:

We must protect this house

NO SPOILERS!

Politics, religion, pornography, and/or excessive disrespect towards college athletes can [rightfully] earn one the banhammer...

But spam is A-OK

I think you got lost. Let me help: mlive.com

Adidas is planning to make a minor change, though- the jerseys will instead be white with white numbers and white letters.

It all depends on whether an NBA job is above or below the Beilein Ceiling.

Just an observation:

The amount of attention being given to this whole situation, which has little to nothing to do with actual play on the field and ultimately boils down to nothing more than "did some guy lie about having a girlfriend that died?", is further confirmation of my opinion that most sports fans are really just soap opera fans.  The only difference is that this soap opera is about a large man in tight pants rather than a stereotypical fictional handsome two-timing doctor.

See also: Tim Tebow, Tiger Woods, and pretty much anything discussed on ESPN's assortment of terrible programming.

Or DB will say something about needing to "step up the wow factor" and you will begin to see the team in even more unusual uniforms, alternate helmets, different color schemes, etc.

I'm sure my fantasy team would have been sweet, but I moved out of my parents' house years ago so I was ineligible.

The winged helmet is iconic, and I am pretty sure that will never go away.

I wouldn't count on that. All other uniform-related evidence indicates that we WILL see an "alternate" helmet at some point before DB retires, beyond just adding numbers or messing with the finish. My money is on one of these final two Notre Dame games or Michigan's next Rose Bowl appearance.

Not that I think Chryst has any reason to go back to Wisconsin, but I'll play:

Kevin Wilson.  He picks up a couple 8-win seasons in the pathetic LITERS division and then bails on the MAC-with-its-own-cable-channel conference to go coach in a conference with some actual decent football teams, the ACC.

STOP BELIEVING SPORTS BY BROOKS

EVERYTHING "REPORTED" BY THAT SITE IS FICTION

IT IS SLIGHTLY LESS RELIABLE AS A SOURCE THAN THE ONION

NOTICE NEWS SOURCES ARE ALSO SAYIN SBB IS THEIR SOURCE

MORANS

All things considered... although this is a big change for the B1G as a whole, this doesn't affect Michigan THAT much.  We are still guaranteed to play 6 of the other 9 traditional B1G teams annually.  We've replaced the others with an annual game against Nebraska, which might be an improvement.  We'll still play one of the other traditional B1G teams or PSU almost annually.

The big overhaul is going to come when Central Florida or Rice or Portland State is added to get up to 16 in a couple more years.  I'm assuming they're just waiting to inevitably reach 16 teams before bothering to rework the divisions.  My other assumption is that when they do rework the divisions, the result will be even more nonsensical with respect to geography and tradition.

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A STUDENT AT THE UNIVERISTY OF MICHIGAN AND ANOTHER STUDENT AT THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY?

A: THE STUDENT AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN, BESIDES BEING IN THE PROCESS OF RECEIVING A SUPERIOR EDUCATION ACCORDING TO VARIOUS SOURCES RESPONSIBLE FOR DEVISING RANKINGS FOR AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES, HAS NEVER HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A BLOOD RELATIVE. THIS PUNCHLINE, OF COURSE, IMPLIES THAT AN OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY STUDENT CHOSEN AT RANDOM HAS A HIGH LIKELIHOOD OF BEING INCESTUOUS.

We aren't.

But that's mostly just because we're too busy talking about State.

No. Minnesota and Iowa are garbage.

+1 for a good, descriptive thread title.

Northwestern 24, Michigan 17

Three reasons:

1. Big Ten is ass.

2. Michigan's two best wins are losses to Alabama and Notre Dame.

3. The only difference between the Big Ten and the MAC is the Big Ten has its own cable channel to show round-the-clock bad football.

Nebraska 31

Michigan 17

rushing yards = 116

Based on this cornerback play, I just checked to see if Tony Gibson is coaching at WVU again. I was moderately surprised to discover he's not responsible for this.

Europeans can relate to napping, and what is there that induces daytime sleeping better than watching baseball? Nothing! So tell him attending a baseball game isn't just any old nap; it's a very special power nap with tens of thousands of your power napping best friends.

Also, if the Tigers play San Francisco, go to the games in SF instead.  1000x better than spending time in North America's version of Afghanistan.

Purdue's regular season basically hinges on their game against Wisconsin, which is a home game for them. They have gimmes against Indiana and Illinois, and then, if they beat Wisconsin, they just need to pick up one win amongst the rest of their soft schedule (PSU, @Iowa, and @Minnesota are most winnable) to get to the magic 4-4 conference record. With that Wisconsin tiebreaker in hand, this will put them in the B1GCG as Wisconsin isn't winning more than 4 conference games- even after conceding Indiana and Illinois, they would need three wins from OSU, MSU, Minnesota, and @PSU.

So I'd say Purdue is the absolute safest bet of anyone to make the B1GCG at the moment. And none of the teams in the Ledge-Ends division appear to be much better than them.

The block Ms inside the numbers are a good start, but what those jerseys really need are block Ms inside the block Ms.

Sure, Denard is fast, but didn't we all come to the conclusion a few years back that Tate Forcier has better "football speed"?  Maybe we should have Tate and Usain race in full pads within a football game?

We do know that Bolt would destroy Sam McGuffie in a race though- Sam just doesn't have that top-end speed.

If Campbell has even half the lateral movement that his left eye does in that picture, he'll be good to go.

They need to invent some kind of turf that isn't conducive to speed. Something that has the "slowing" quality of natural grass.

<smartass>Well, one option that has the "slowing" quality of natural grass is natural grass. </smartass>

Overall, it seems like a reasonable idea, but I don't know how much of a difference it would make- the game is played by slower, smaller players at the high school level but my understanding is that head injuries are pretty common even at that level.

This never would have happened if they had a strong leader in the clubhouse like a Brandon Inge.

The team will soon go to shambles.  They need a leader.  You know, a Brandon-Inge-type.

Without a clubhouse leader, a real team guy, like an Inge, I predict 35 wins this year.

Who on this team will provide the leadership, the grit, the hustle, the leadership, and the hustle you need to win?  I don't see any Brandon Inges on the roster.  35 wins.

Sure did!  But nobody in my family, including myself, has ever exhibited much interest in baseball, so the few games I saw there had no sentimental value to me.  More importantly, I was still a pre-teen the last time I was there and I distinctly remember being frightened by the trough urinals.  So there's that.

Thus, my cold-hearted and barely-informed opinion that Tiger Stadium was a dump.

EDIT: I'd like to add that I'm shocked that my original comment still has positive points.  I thought my trolling was blatant, but maybe I should've added a trollface.jpg to really drive the point home?

Tiger Stadium was a dump and its neighborhood looks like something out of Uzbekistan, but not the nicer parts of Uzbekistan of course.

Here's to progress!

Curses aren't real.

Sourcing SbB should be grounds for a ban. If you believe anything anything from him/them, then you've probably also wired money to a man in Nigeria so you can receive your multi-million dollar inheritance. Good luck on getting that inheritance, OP.

I believe you are correct.  If this wasn't the case, we'd often see a hacker hit a slice that kept curving until it came back towards him.  I've never seen anyone boomerang a ball.  No matter how much sidespin you put on the ball, it eventually stops curving.

POUND GOB LUE!

POUND GOB LUE!

POUND GOB LUE!

Petrino is of the ilk unashamed to enhance the prospects of those who would gladly destroy the opportunities of the most worthy among us; exchanging duty for any and every subsumed illusion from which they might seek opportunity to satiate their preferred fidelity to conspiritorial debauchment, determined to prop up their failed self-interest.

wut

When did Michigan hire Danny Devito??

Lehigh lost.  Now my bracket is FUCKED.

I'm sorry for your loss. Do you have an address I can send a sympathy card and flowers to?

Dullest thing to hear other people talk about:

a) their dreams (sleepy-time dreams, not goals-and-aspirations dreams)

b) their children / grandchildren

c) their fantasy teams

d) their brackets

And of, course, the correct answer:

e) all of the above are equally likely to induce severe zoning out

Taybor "Salmonella" Pepper

Lose today: 7 seed
Win today and then lose to Wisconsin: NIT bid
Win today and then lose to MSU: 1 seed
Win BTT: 5 seed, BUT first three games will be moved to Crisler

Just epinion.

Rumor has it that her team lost to a team of 9th grade AAU all stars. Can you confirm?

Will we only be able to vote for people, or can we vote for inanimate objects that have been important to Michigan athletics?  For example, I'm thinking Tommy Amaker's tutleneck, Rich Rodriguez's red arm band, Lloyd Carr's alleged transfer papers, and Marlin Jackson's bottle.

Thanks, I'll hang up and listen.

I accept your offer.  However, I do not possess a PS3 or an NCAA foot-ball video game.  I will instead mail you my play selections and you will perform the simulation.  Also, I shall manage Rhein Fire rather than Indiana Hoosiers.

I'm petitioning BRAIN to change the name of the board to "MGoTalkAboutStateBoard"

Wait, did the Steelers trade him or is he a free agent?

I'd skip hiring coordinators and ask for a raise.

Hey, VT, here's a better solution: have the wherewithal to pay the replay official $10K before the game, like I did.

OMG THIS TEAM FUCKING SUCKS BECAUSE THEIR LOSING (even though they're playing a 2 pm non-conference road game in the middle of the conference season, four days after winning their big rivalry game and thus a letdown, or at least a slow start, was inevitable) AND I HATE THEM

Dantonio got into a fight with Finland?

TB, aka The Consumption

On the plus side, Stonum evidently wasn't drunk when he was pulled over this time, so I suppose that shows progress, right?

Who knew that the U in FIU stands for "High School" and the F stands for "JV"?  I wonder what the I stands for?

I'm irrationally angry because my pick 'em is pretty much shot after putting high confidence in USU, SDSU, and FIU.  I guess in the world of the shitty conferences, 7 point spreads actually mean "coinflip, but with more fumbles."

And in the goal-line situation He threw His Jump Pass, and it was good.

~Loeffler 4:11

I was talking more about the play clock than the game clock.  If I'm down 1 or 2 in field goal range with a reliable kicker, I'd rather have, say, 5 seconds and one timeout than 35 seconds and no timeouts.  That way, I can call the timeout and have a little extra time to make sure the right personnel is out there, let my kicker get comfortable and hopefully eliminate the delay of game or false start you occasionally see on field goal attempts.

In general, yeah, you're better off using that timeout on defense.  That's why coaches do that most of the time.  I just don't think it's a hard and fast rule.

Greatest golfer of all time. Nobody will ever break 40 for 18 again.

The game is North vs. South, with all the B1G represented by the North team.  So, they'll be teammates.

LOL GOOD ONE!

cuz "lier" (sic) rhymes with "Meyer"

Wish I'd thought of that myself :( :'( :[ :-( :-{ :p

Grow up and use his proper name, "Dick Fraud"

Jeez

As bad as the Kandi Man was, at least the Clippers got a few mediocre years out of him.  Oden has only played 82 games total in four (soon to be five) seasons.

If I know Joe, and I think I do, that "something" will be to sign a few more shooting guards.

HAI GUYS, DONT WORRY, IF MICHIGAN IS TOP 14 THEY GET AN AUTOBID SO I THINK WERE IN NOW CUZ HOUSTON LOST, RIGHT?

Craig James is unimpressed with nontraditional punt formations.  Craig James also [allegedly] has bloodlust wrt prostitutes.

A UCLA win would've been helpful (even if unrealistic)- UCLA would've just taken Oregon's place in the Rose Bowl and Oregon almost certainly would have slipped down behind Michigan in the polls.

The lack of 60+ point games in 2006 is unsurprising- that was the year they screwed with the clock rules.

Two and Out: the Behind-the-Scenes Story of Arizona Football and the Coach Who Was Deported

902

Congratulations to all who attended for being a part of the largest crowd watching Nyan Cat anywhere in America that day!

In that first picture, I'm imaging Floyd playing a clarinet as he high steps down the field.

When did Musberger start calling all the players by their first names?  Did I just never notice this until now?

It's like listening to George Blaha call a Pistons' game.

500

Beth Mowins is miles beyond Pam Ward in terms of competency.  In my opinion, she's a generic, average football announcer, but with a female voice.  Frankly, in the standard Mowins-Bellotti pairing, Bellotti is the one who is tough to listen to.

Pam Ward shouldn't be allowed near sports.

Michigan, 21-20

So, given how putrid EMU normally is at football, the CMU-WMU game is typically the rare DOUBLE TROPHY GAME?!

Benard Peirce Just would tear up the B1G.  I heard BPJ runs a 4.1 40 and benches 800 lbs.

You forgot to end your sentence with a period.