alternate headline: man does job
Orson Swindle: The BHGP post was completely in jest
Though, as always, that's an impressive shotgunning there.
i considered that, i really did
Orson Swindle: They're completely f***ing around.
Brian: aw f***
are you sure?
Orson Swindle: Pretty sure.
But their response could be worth waiting for.
Brian: aw, goddammit
I, uh, well... yeah. Hawkeye State emailed me something one line and to the effect of "you knew I was joking, right?"
Aw... goddammit. I didn't, actually, except for the Ayatollah bit. I did consider it, as mentioned in the header, but eventually fell on the side of "real" because everything else I have seen multiple times on various blogs and message boards. Even though everything in it was really stupid it seemed plausible. I should have known better, as rampant stupidity is most certainly not a part of BHGP's usual repertoire.
I am the stupidest.
The most notable thing that came out of Mike Hart's mouth, and there were many of them, seems to have gone completely unnoticed by the media at large, who bunkered down and relayed Carr's traditional answer to questions of retirement:
"To the best of my knowledge, I'm healthy," said Carr, entering his 13th season as Michigan's head coach. "I don't think there's anything to that. At some point, we're going to all retire and there's always an appropriate time to speak to that issue." ...
"I heard that three or four years ago," Carr said. "I did have a birthday Monday. The older you get, the tougher it gets. Or the tougher you get. One or the other."
This led to a flurry of articles titled much like the above-cited Detroit News piece:
Carr again tackles rumors
Michigan coach, 62, disputes health concerns, says he has no timetable for when he'll retire.
The Free Press put up a Rosenberg column from before the Rose Bowl: "Carr Enjoying Himself Too Much To Retire." The AP had a more neutral article, but one that still focused on Carr's non-denials. But Hart let something slip in the process of demolishing Jim Harbaugh:
I meant to clip it shorter, but the Forcier slam is so relevant I let it go. Anyway, nestled in there: "He could of went... coached at San Diego State [sic], coached at Stanford for a year, and come here." Emphasis mine; [sic] because it was plain old San Diego, not SDSU. Hart tacitly acknowledges Carr's likely retirement in an unguarded moment that's probably more accurate than the vague lack of plans suggested above. Carr may not be retiring for sure, but he's leaning towards it.
(Sidenote: The AP article citing Hart's comments changes his quote!
"There's always a coaching ladder. He coached at San Diego and could have spent a (few) years at Stanford and maybe come to Michigan."
That "year" wasn't plural, you filthy press liars.)
Whenever this stuff comes up I cast my mind back to an interview I saw on local TV before the Ohio State game. I don't remember precisely who it was... maybe Eli Zaret, maybe that guy named "Bernie" whose last name I don't remember, but whoever the sportscaster was apparently managed to get an exclusive heart-to-heart interview with Carr by agreeing that said interview would take place on a golf course. And in this interview he was asked about the prospect of impending retirement. Carr was vague, but said he had a plan, and smiled, and seemed like a man ready to ride off into the sunset. Certain events could change his plan, but if there's an opportunity for him to go out on a good note -- beat OSU, win a BCS game -- I am confident he'll take it.
And then there's the rest of it. Pure smackdown. I addressed this earlier, when it came out; a brief recap:
- When Harbaugh asserts that the football players at Michigan don't end up in astrophysics, he's right.
- I don't have a problem with this. When your school is harder than Notre Dame, football players tend to cluster in the easier majors. This is because they are working a full-time year-round job in addition to being in school: duh. In addition, many football players come from bad high schools and are not admitted for their intelligence but rather their physical ability. Can we stop pretending that a random liberal arts degree is more useful to these players than their status as Michigan football players? We all want them to graduate, to show that they can function in the world well enough to get a degree, but they're learning more about how to succeed in the world by participating in a highly regimented athletics program than by writing a paper on Foucault.
- When Harbaugh followed that up with:
They're adulated when they're playing, but when they get out, the people who adulated them won't hire them.
...he crossed the line. Anyone who went to or watched the Bo memorial knows that there's a tremendous bond between Bo's players, the university itself, and its massive alumni community. Implying that Michigan just discards these guys to fend for themselves after screwing them for four years is obviously, patently untrue.
So, yeah, Hart and Carr were right to respond to Harbaugh's assertions harshly. Maybe "I wish he never went to Michigan" goes a bit too far, but, whatever. Harbaugh's shown himself a hypocrite with the Forcier transfer and is either ripping on his teammates from 20 years ago or the current players at Michigan, who he has no knowledge of. As soon as those words came out of his mouth every Notre Dame and Ohio State recruiter had forwarded them to every recruit considering Michigan. He clearly cares nothing for the fate of the program after being passed over for the quarterback coaching job, and more damning yet he's sticking to his guns. From the Jamie Morris article:
"I said, 'Jim, here's my question for you -- do you really believe the comments y
ou said, or are you saying them to make you look good?'â€‚" said Morris, who works in the Michigan athletic development department.
"He said, 'I believe them.' And I said, 'Would you have said it if (former Michigan coach) Bo (Schembechler) was alive?' He said, 'That's not the point.' And I said, 'That's exactly the point. You didn't hurt Michigan, you hurt your coach, and you hurt the guys you played with. These are the teammates you turned your back on.'â€‚"
Morris said Harbaugh became upset.
"We said, 'We're not friends anymore,'â€‚" Morris said. "â€‚'You lose my number, I lose yours.'â€‚"
Harbaugh also stuck to his assertion that Pete Carroll would be in the NFL next year. We'll see how that works out.
So, for the record, I have no respect left for Harbaugh either. The only person he's looking out for is himself, and in doing so he's harming the program that put him in a position to lose by 80 to USC this fall. I assume the reason is that he's just not that bright and doesn't realize how offensive his comments are -- he continues to poke the grizzly bear of college football with a stick despite being armed only with a pocket knife, albeit one with a really friggin' great SAT score -- and that he might come around and apologize at some future date. If so, fine. We're okay. But he's teetering on the edge. He's...
Elsewhere: MVictors says "over the line"; marks it zero. Autumn Thunder does its inimitable thing. The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, where I stole the audio from, has 6 full minutes of Hart speaking plus Henne and
Carr Long interviews.
Michigan coach Lloyd Carr announced today that three players â€” tight end Carson Butler, cornerback Chris Richards and defensive end Eugene Germany â€” are no longer part of the program.
Brief impact breakdown...
Richards. Someone else has to join the kick coverage team.
Germany. Flashed considerable talent at defensive end a year ago and may have been a contributor. Probably not a huge impact, as I chalk Carr's bizarre claim that Adam Patterson and Brandon Graham were likely to "move inside" to excessive grumpiness. Was likely to be Tim Jamison to Jamison's Rondell Biggs this year. Hurts depth but with a couple guys with good potential behind the projected starters it shouldn't be a huge deal.
Butler. At least we know now why he couldn't get a snap count right last year: he's miraculously dumb. Two days after the contentious spring kickoff press conference in which he was one of the guys Carr said was "possible... maybe not probable" to return, he gets hammered on St. Patrick's Day and beats the hell out of some student. From the Daily:
One resident said that before the incident, he heard the victim ask someone in the hall if he could use an iron. The resident then didn't see the victim for less than seven minutes.
When the victim returned, blood covered the side of his face and he was having difficulty talking, the resident said.
Why did this happen? Because Chris Richards thought the student was a different guy who was "talking crap" in class:
The student, Walter Myers, told The News on Wednesday that he went to a friend's room to borrow an iron when another person in the room - whom he later identified as Richards - accused him of "talking crap'' in a class.
"I don't know who you are,'' Myers said he told Richards. "I don't know why you're bothering me.''
Richards then punched him, Myers said, before another person in the room joined the beating.
(I'll further note here that the Ann Arbor News had the most comprehensive and interesting article on the galaxy-spanning stupidity going on here, which makes them 2/2 in major UM stories over the past couple weeks after they blew up everyone except Rosenberg about the basketball coaching situation.)
So, yeah, you're gone, and for such a good reason. You don't come into the WQ lookin' for no iron! I'm about to get in an elevator, wait for five minutes when I could have easily taken the stairs, and then furiously swipe my MCard in the door for another five minutes to get into that stuff!
Ah. Anyway. Butler's loss is a definite blow as opposed to Richards (who?) and Germany (possible blow). Though Mike Massey was nominally #1 on the depth chart in the absence of Tyler Ecker -- what is with Michigan and remarkably dumb tight ends? PITCH IT TO BREASTON aaaaargh -- it was Butler who looked a future star. Last year Michigan's new zone running game featured a ton of two-tight end sets that seem infeasible now that the choices past Massey are Chris McLaurin, a guy who moved to tight end because a shoulder injury made OLB unfeasible, Andre Criswell*, a last-second two-star recruit who was a fullback until this spring, and two freshmen, one of whom is currently a 215 pound wide receiver. Will we see more fullback sets? Michigan has one fullback on the roster with the early departure of Will Paul and the move of Criswell, and that's true freshman Vince Helmuth. Michigan's critically short of guys for jumbo sets.
I will note that Ohio State's offense managed to scrape by this year with something called a Rory Nichol at tight end after they lost their own dunderheaded TE, Marcel Frost. With a plethora of receiving targets available -- come on, Arrington, let's get it together -- the actual negative effect on the offense is yet to be seen. I am leery about the possibility that our third-and-short conversions get even worse next year.
*(It's deeply ironic that Michigan picked up Criswell mostly because they had an extra scholarship slot available and gave it to a program guy with impeccable work ethic and character who they had discovered because he was a high school teammate of Butler. The irony reaches mindblowing levels if Criswell takes Butler's job because of it; should he end up an All-American, thousands of reformed Gen-X slackers will have their heads retroactively explode in 1992.)
What about Adrian Arrington?
Still hanging on. Apparently attended this week's press conference. Not in the habit of kicking the shit out of random civilians.
I wonder if this will result in an offensive lineman moving out to TE. A few classes ago Michigan brought in two tight ends with the intention of moving them to the offensive line. Mark Ortmann has established himself as a contender for the right tackle spot and is likely to valuable to move, but Tim MacAvoy seems buried in the interior. If we need a guy to come in on third and one to plow someone he might be our best option, though he's likely to be too clunky for regular deployment.
The Detroit News recaps the recent shenanigans within the program; mostly stuff you've heard before except for this bit:
And backup defensive end Eugene Germany was ticketed for marijuana possession in Ann Arbor on Feb. 12, according to court records. But Germany, who admitted responsibility and paid a $50 fine, recently was granted a release from his scholarship so he can transfer.
With the assumed dismissal of Butler, that would bring us to two of the three bad actors called out in the spring press conference already gone; now we're just waiting on Arrington's fate. Dude: you're from Iowa. Let's get some sensibility up in this place. You can either return to the land of cows and corn or play in the NFL. This is not a hard decision.
Gracias to commenter RossMBA, who pointed out that my assertion about the unimportance of the Germany possession charge was really wrong here.
...and probably Chris Richards, who is apparently named "Christian." He's not acting very Christian these days. From MLive:
Two University of Michigan football players are accused of attacking a fellow student in the West Quad residence hall for no apparent reason on St. Patrick's Day.
Carson Butler, 19, and Christian Richards III, 19, were arraigned today in 15th District Court on one count of aggravated assault and one count of assault and battery each. They were released on $5,000 personal bond and have a pre-trial hearing March 27.
Richards had some unreported legal issues earlier this year:
In addition to the charges stemming from Saturday's incident, Richards has another case pending. He was charged with illegal entry on campus last year. Richards failed to appear for his arraignment on that charge, and a bench warrant had been issued for his arrest.
With Butler already hanging by a thread -- he was one of the three who were "possibly... maybe not probably" going to get back this year -- this has to end his career at Michigan. Richards is probably also going to get the hook, what with the breaking and entering and skipping out on arraignment and then beating the crap out of a random student. Scholarship count for '08 now at 15.
Update: hey, these are our first Fulmer Cup points ever. Too bad it's not something innocuous like speeding tickets and will actually cost is a potential starter.