notre dame

Also: Steve Brown's interception.

If you had to describe Jimmah's performance via the medium of embeddable flash video, how would you do so?

Chart?

Chart. It's even respectable.

There's some saying about popsicles and the mutual sucking-upon of?

Yes. Let's not just yet. Anyone who watched that game could tell you that it
said more about Notre Dame's offense than the Michigan defense, especially after the Oregon debacle. We are not "back" or whatever yet.

So, then, what can we take from Eastern Michigan-equivalent?

I am heartened by a couple of very nice plays by Tim Jamison against Sam Young, including one where he split a double to sack Clausen. Also, Thompson may be a middle linebacker suited to banging heads with PSU's between-the-tackles running style. He made a couple nice plays against actual blocking this game and looked much better in general; his interception is something I could totally see Morelli doing and very heartening in the face of an excellent Nittany Lion tight end. Donovan Warren continues to be competent but a shady tackler -- might want to keep him away from Derrick Williams.

But the big hope is in the person of Brandon Graham, he of the 3.5 sacks and burly defensive presence capable of sliding over to defensive tackle and resting Terrance Taylor. When he is a defensive end Crable can slide back to linebacker and fill the role he had a year ago as a blitzing, harassing nightmare for opponents instead of an undersized defensive end with no hope of leverage. It's impossible to tell if he is for real... let's hope he is.

Heroes?

The Notre Dame offensive line.

Goats?

None. It was 38-0.

What does it mean for Penn State?

Who can say? I wish there was all sorts of useful information to pull out here but there is not. There is the suggestion that Michigan can have its way with a non-running quarterback and a weak offensive line. Brandent Englemon seems unlikely to screw up -- love you, Brandent -- and the Nittany Lion offense remains thoroughly untested. But when the Michigan defense has been tested, it fails. I have no idea what will happen.

Visual evidence. Baxter Allen -- winner of the ill-fated banner contest -- sends along an artists rendition of yesterday's "M as dinosaur" flight of fancy:

It's uncanny!

It is I. Interviewed at The Big Picture, if you have interest in that sort of thing.

Hockey approacheth. Yost Built has the first inklings of a great season preview with profiles of defensemen Steve Kampfer and Chris Summers. One crab: I disagree on Kampfer's importance level, which he pegs a 7 out of 10. To me, Kampfer is the biggest swing guy on the team. Yost Built rightly notes Kampfer's extremely generous defending last year and his measly +3 plus-minus are at odds with his mid-rounds NHL draft selection, something noted here as far out, man, when it first became apparent Kampfer was something other than an undrafted free agent. If he can play up to his draft position we're likely to have two solid pairings (I assume at least one of the freshmen will show up ready to play, probably 2006 third-round pick Kevin Quick). If he dishes out enough turnovers to satisfy Charlie Weis, we're in trouble.

Also: Josh Blackburn, last seen yielding a goal on an unscreened slap shot from just inside the blueline, has been "hired" as a volunteer assistant coach to help out Billy Sauer's mental game. This is the exact equivalent of hiring Ron Powlus to coach Jimmah(!).

Maybe this is why the suck? NKOTB Shooting Blue takes a look at the 2004 recruiting class -- now juniors and redshirt sophomores -- and finds a total dearth of defensive contributors. These are the guys who are contributing in any way:

• starting DT Terrance Taylor
• Nickelback Brandon Harrison.

Yuck. (If you want to count Marques Slocum in this class, it's likely he contributes something eventually, but not now.) The rest of the defenders:

• OLB Chris McLaurin: moved to TE.
• DE Eugene Germany: knucklehead. Off team.
• DE James McKinney: transfer to Louisville after undisclosed medical issue.
• CB Chris Richards: booted in aftermath of St Patrick's Day Nerd Massacre.
• CB Johnny Sears: booted for never covering anyone failing a drug test.

Mmm, that's ugly.

Pile on. Even Buckeyes are getting into the Notre Dame hate. Ramzy at Bucknuts has a column that proves it's not just Michigan fans that love the Nation:

NDNation, the greatest form of online amusement that doesn't offer any nudity or cash prizes, was shut down to the unregistered public for the entire Michigan game. This was probably done preemptively to keep the millions of Irish haters from polluting their otherwise bat-feces crazy discourse with ironic jest like, "Your an idiot". Since the game ended, the board has been non-stop jack-knifed semi-truck on the edge of a cliff entertainment.

Bon mots and zingers abound.

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan. Click for big.

MAD MONEY. Not Jim Cramer, but equally bats is this guy who attempts to link Michigan's crappy start to... Michigan's crappy economy. No. Seriously:

-Lack of Innovation
A wonderful memory of mine is the 1972 Rose Bowl, when underdog Stanford kicked a last-second field goal to beat top-ranked Michigan 13-12. What made the upset delicious was the complaint of Michigan fans that Stanford didn't play "real football"--i.e., Stanford passed the ball. The Michigan economy is locked into an old-world combination of union labor and high taxes--and pays the price.

The sucky part is that even though this man is obviously insane he has a point.

Brains imbue humor! JoePa's Michigan press conference is kind of awesome:

A lot has been made of the losing streak to Michigan, now at eight. When the players are asked a question, obviously they can't go back that far. You obviously have been there for all eight. Is there something about Michigan that just makes Penn State tighten up?

Well, the first time I coached against Fielding Yost (1901-23, '25-26), it was tough (laughter).

Every year's a little different one. We've had some good luck and bad luck. No, Michigan's a good, solid football team. Playing at Michigan is a lot of fun. It's a great crowd, and I think you ought to enjoy it. I don't look at it the way maybe some other people do.

Lloyd Carr said that Chad Henne may come back this week. How do you prepare for two quarterbacks, especially with the kid, Ryan Mallett, who has made one start and is 250 pounds?

[WTF does Mallett weight have to do with anything? lolmsm. -ed] I don't think you do that. I think you've got to realize what kind of a football team Michigan has. Mike Hart, the wideouts we just talked about, a very, very fine offensive line, are the things that you worry about. Henne at quarterback, has experience and everything else and has played well against us, and is a good quarterback.

Now, whether he's not playing or the other kid's going to play, I think you got to be careful about that. For all I know, they could put Hart as quarterback. Put him in an empty backfield, shotgun, like everybody else is in the country is doing these days. All of a sudden you have a whole different ballgame on your hands.

This is the first Michigan game that you've played since Bp Schembechler died. What was his legacy and how did he improve Michigan football and help the Big Ten?

I never coached against Bo. I can tell a story about Bo calling me up after we were in (invited to join) the Big Ten. He said, "You sneaky little son of a..."

I said, "What are you talking about, Bo? He said, "you sneaked in there and the athletic directors and coaches never had a vote because it was all presidents."

I said, "Bo, nobody sneaked in. " He started screaming and ranting. I started screaming and ranting at him. I liked Bo. Bo is the kind of guy you had to like. You know where he's coming from, no hypocritical statements. He never pontificated, said some things. I always had a lot of fun with him.

I ne
ver coached against him. I think you have to figure that he and Woody Hayes, at a stage of the Big Ten, probably dominated a lot of things. I've said this before, you guys get tired of hearing me say it, I think when Joe Tiller came into the league with a little different type of offense, that people say he can't do that here. I never forget the quote Joe Tiller made when they said about throwing the football. He said, "Don't you think it snows in Wyoming?"

I think then it started to change. This league's got a lot of great young coaches. The kid at Wisconsin (Bret Bielema). Ron Zook is going to make Illinois really good. Kirk Ferentz...I could go down the list.

I think Bo and Woody dominated the thing for a while. I think right now there's so many darn good young coaches. I think the league's got a little different personality than it did when maybe Bo and Woody were running the show. I'm not sure, because I wasn't in the league when they were running it.

Actual newsbits: projected starting DT Abe Koroma is still out. Jon Shaw will miss the game and true freshman Steven Wisnewski will take his spot. Wisnewski was a moderately shirtless recruit that Michigan also went after. Austin Scott has already fumbled four times and will split time with kick returner Rodney Kinlaw. And PSU plans on going full bore "eff you, try to stop this, oops you did let's punt" mode:

You mentioned Clark earlier. With the problems Michigan has had with mobile quarterbacks this season, is there any plan for potentially any place for him to try to take advantage of his mobility?

Michigan had a little problem with the mobile quarterback at Oregon, but that wasn't their big problem. Their problem was they spread them out so much, they couldn't do some things they like to do defensively because the kid could throw the ball.

No, we're going to play our game. We're going out to Ann Arbor and find out just how good are we. We're going to play them our game. I'm sure Lloyd will be in the same way with his guys. They're going to play their game and let's see what happens.

So bully for that.

Cartoon by Joel A. Morgan. Click for big.

Are we done? Now? How about now? Now? Now?.... no. We are not done piling on Notre Dame. Vijay has awakened from long slumber in recent weeks and has put together a Charlie Weis fact sheet analagous to the Ty Willingham Fact Sheet NDNation put together in their quest to keep the black man down return to glory. It is glorious. Selected excerpts:

Notre Dame is currently on a 5 game losing streak, their first since late 1985, early 1986.

The whole thing is highly recommended.

Etc.: South Bend Tribune article on Scott Driesbach; Pickin' On The Big Ten; the MZone checks out the latest Russell Crowe movie; BTN review; the Cal student newspaper so knows they're losing Tedford at year's end and is lashing out at anyone they can find.

A final item: Mallett fumbled one more snap, and there is video of Minor's truck job on a Notre Dame safety.

And a desultory cheer went up from the beleaguered masses.

Yeah, yeah.

Does this game actually tell us anything?

Maybe a few things. The biggest takeaway for me was the excellent performance of Justin Boren, who spent much of the day making Trevor Laws eat his own poop. Though the Notre Dame defense is almost totally devoid of good players, Laws was a thorn last year, is by far ND's best player in their front seven, and has three years on young Mr. Boren. Despite this he spent most of the day face down five yards downfield. ABC's constant fawning closeups of Jake Long running untouched to the second level and obliterating some poor linebacker were amusing since they all showed Boren doing the heavy lifting. That dominance, plus Schilling's quiet effectiveness, are very encouraging signs for the offensive line going forward.

The rest of the line continued it fine performance. There was the occasional missed block or inability to hold the POA, but this is the third consecutive game Michigan's ground game has been punishing. This has all been against overmatched opponents, sure, but there's an inkling in there that most opponents will be overmatched. Penn State will tell the tale.

Also, Brandon Minor missed an obvious read on one of the carries I charted above; I think the running back job is going to be wide open next year. Minor runs really upright and seems perpetually on the verge of getting his clock cleaned; he also clearly lacks Hart's ability to pick through traffic. The spin move on Zbikowski was sweet, though.

Oh, and Mallett. Here's Mallett's cha--

Chart!

Yes, chart. Here's Mallet's chart:

A fairly typical profile for a freshman called upon to throw only 15 or 17 times. Perhaps I was a little generous with a DO and one of the INs could be a BR -- the double-covered bomb to Manningham that was out of bounds -- if you were so inclined. The numbers look okay, but suboptimal in the ways that first-time starters are. Mallett also succumbed to our weird tendency to have a ton of balls batted when we play Notre Dame.

All things considered, Mallett did very well. Each of the touchdown throws displayed touch. Two were looped over the heads of Notre Dame defenders; the third was a soft crossing route to Mathews that beat a blitz. He stood in the pocket, knew when to get rid of the ball, and came off his primary receiver a couple of times, most impressively on the little Hart flare that picked up a first down. He dealt with no pressure and usually had open receivers; he took advantage of his.

There were problems: an inaccu
rate slant, routes he screwed up the timing on, the near-pick, two fumbled snaps, and a busted handoff. It was not an efficient performance -- anyone seriously doubting whether a healthy-ish Henne should start versus Penn State is advised to stop doubting -- but it was one that hinted at his potential.

Also (not to go all NDNation on you): the kid has an infectious confidence. His joy for the game that was a delight to see when I reviewed the tape. With Hart gone after the year, Michigan will need a focal point and he seems like the kind of kid to take up that mantle.

Other chart?

Other chart. Not much to see here, as you might expect.

Kind of dodgy protection metric?

A perfect 22/22.

What about that punt?

Completely indefensible in a close game. Potentially justifiable up 24 and facing an offense that would need several miracles to reach double digits. If I knew that Michigan would not do the same if it was down four points in the second quarter, I wouldn't even mention it.

Anything else irritate?

We are still 100% run when freshman wideouts are in the game and 100% run in the direction of a shuffle, be it fullback or -- new! -- wide receiver. Also, we broke out our TE-as-FB package for the first time this year. This is always a pass.

Now, it's fair to point out that Michigan ran most of the day and these things might not mean much in the context of a 38-0 whitewashing, but Michigan does this against opponents both competitive and not and gives away many of their plays just by personnel or alignment. Whatever shocking plays we have that play off these tendencies are not worth the constant bleed of expected value we suffer throughout the year.

Mr Cranky actually like anything?

I failed to mention this in the aftermath of the Oregon debacle, but this zone counter thing where one tight end comes across the line to chop down the backside DE, opening up a major cutback lane, has been really effective and plays off our zone game beautifully. We only ran it once against ND but it went for a Minor first down; it also opened up that Butler crossing route on the first play of the Oregon game. It's been a fine addition.

Heroes?

Boren, as mentioned, the rest of the OL, and Hart. Who is awesome.

Goats?

I kind of hate Mike Massey's run blocking. He was the one guy who didn't seem able to overpower his man; a couple of Hart's less successful runs involved Massey getting pushed back a bit. Other than that, there isn't much to complain about.

Is Corwin Brown a mole?

Very possibly. Michigan's ground game was sometimes opposed by extra guys in the box but not nearly often enough given Michigan's tendencies -- two first down passes were attempted all day -- especially considering their deployment of a true freshman quarterback. Often Michigan would line up in their standard ace three-wide formation and ND would oppose it with a straight nickel! There can be no justification for this, especially when your defensive line ends up on its ass every play. Sometimes the nickel look would have a late-blitzing safety who would come up and try to fill, but this ploy was universally ineffective.

Notre Dame showed nothing unusual to slow down the Michigan rushing attack aside from one creative blitz that got Zbiboxerguy free and forced Hart into one run for no gain. Corwin Brown may be able to recruit against Michigan, but Pete Carroll he's not.

What does it mean for Penn State?

Given the youth of Penn State's defensive line and some injury problems they're having (projected starting DT Abe Koroma is out), I think we should be able to mash them pretty good. Their defensive ends are quick but undersized and will either slash past the blockers assigned to them or end up like Pat Kuntz: face-down after being used as a plow. The defensive tackles are underclassmen, albeit highly rated ones. Their linebackers are awesome, but if the DL can't hold up they'll have to deal with blockers all day and will be awesomely turning 10 yards gains into 6 yard gains instead of 4 into 0. It will help if Penn State does its traditional two- or three-deep coverage all day instead of rolling a guy up to the LOS. If there's one team out there that relies on out-executing your opponent more than Michigan, it's the Ni
ts.

The passing game? Depends on the quarterback, obviously, but it will be a sideshow. Last year Michigan passed to set up the run; this year it will have to be the other way. Count me as cautiously optimistic Hart goes for something like 140 on many, many carries. The passing game is still a question mark.

RIP, Shakey Jake. First Faz, now Shakey Jake... legendary Ann Arbor figures are dropping like flies. We need some new ones. I command someone to drop out of school, and live on the street playing a guitar that barely exists.

Highlights:

Via Dangerous Logic.

Henne status. He wasn't on the two-deep yesterday, but Carr on Henne during his presser:

Is Chad able to practice and can he be considered a possibility? ... "Chad Henne has got enough experience that he could play without practice. But you know, those are all decisions that we make as we go forward."

So... not practicing but maybe? MSC got a screencap of his brace:

Survey says... I dunno. Probably not if he's not even healthy enough to practice.

Only other bit of hard news from the PC: Hemingway was held out because of a minor injury and will practice this week.

The Five Year Myth. Notre Dame fans are beginning to turn on Charlie Weis:

It is a myth that every coach at Notre Dame has an inalienable right to five years to prove himself. That has never been policy. Fifteen coaches in Notre Dame's storied history have, for various reasons, had tenures of less than five years. That list includes Kuharich, Devore, McKeever and Anderson since Rockne. More recently coaches Davie and Faust were given five years, and those decisions proved to be miserable failures. There was some justification to warrant Faust's extra time given his high school background and Father Ted's personal commitment to him, but giving Davie five years was gross negligence. The five-year plan is not policy and even if it were time has proven it to be a colossal failure that should be learned from and not repeated. Ara himself set the standard by boldly stating upon his arrival that if you can't do it in three years, you can't do it. And without exception this has proven to be true. In the entire history of Notre Dame, no coach who failed at the three year mark, succeeded in five years. There are some who claim that because of parity, restrictions and other issues, that Notre Dame can't win anymore, but they said the exact same things before both Ara and Lou arrived in South Bend and were proved wrong. Tedford, Meyer, Carroll, Stoops, Tressel, Amato, Friedgen, Holtz and others have made immediate impacts on their schools, most with far, far less talent than Notre Dame. When the five-year myth is promulgated by media talking heads and writers, it's important to note that most of those talking heads and scribes are not fans of Notre Dame or speaking in Our Lady's best interest.

Wait... what? That was written about Ty Willingham as part of NDNation's crazy-ass push to get him fired? Well, I never.

By the way: Notre Dame has lost six games by 20+ points since they hired Charlie Weis in 2005. Michigan has lost seven games by 20+ points since they hired Bo Schembechler in 1969.

This might be a little mean. But it's not that mean. I mean, not compared to the pain Johnny Sears inflicted on Michigan fans:

Both dubiously-rated corners Ron English plucked from California in 2004 are now gone, Richards -- his godson -- for the St. Patrick's Day Nerd Massacre and Sears for failing a drug test. If we're going to recruit crappy players can they at least be nice?

(Via Varsity Blue)

More press conference stuff.

Hart:

Taylor:

The record on Jones. Demetrius Jones is taking issue with Charlie Weis' assertion that Jones did not tell anyone he was not making the Michigan trip:

"When I heard Jimmy was No. 1 all the way through spring and that the only thing keeping him out of the lineup was his surgery, well, that's not what I was led to believe going into the summer," Jones said in a South Bend Tribune story published Monday. "I thought I was getting a chance because coach Weis believed in me. Then I didn't know what to believe anymore."

Now he is upset about the way he is being characterized, along with the events that prompted his departure from South Bend.

"The facts that are out there now are just not true," Jones told the Tribune on Monday, declining to say how or whether he had notified Notre Dame of his decision to leave last week.

"Because people are trying to [assassinate] my character and don't really know what's going on, I think it's best for me not to say anything.

"People don't know the facts. The [Notre Dame] team did know I wasn't coming prior to that bus taking off. They found out before the bus was scheduled to depart, and it wasn't something like, 'Where's Demetrius? Where's Demetrius?' They were notified."

Since a portion of yesterday's "Super Genius" post was based on the way Jones left ND, it's worth mentioning. Someone is lying here. If it's Jones, the post stands as is. If it's Weis, then it's not the Jones transfer but Weis' attempt at character assassination that marks him as an ass. Either way it's the same result.

Illinois' Rivals site thinks this will be helpful($) with their Chicago-area recruiting:

If you are a city kid in Chicago, how can you believe anything the Fighting Irish coaches tell you? Recruiting is all about trust and will a Chicago kid listen to anything Weis, Ianello or defensive coordinator Corwin Brown tells them after what happened to Demetrius Jones? The redshirt freshman from Morgan Park wasn't given much of a chance, saw the writing on the wall and hit the road. ND promised he
wouldn't play receiver, 'is a QB' but when the time came to follow through, all those things rang hollow.

Jones was the 'go to guy'/player host for top prospects like Martez Wilson, Rejus Benn, Robert Hughes and other 'city kids' that the staff wanted to sell on the virtues on ND football, South Bend, Indiana.

The transfer is great news for the Illini because now they will likely have one less 'big school' to compete with for Chicago Public League players. Notre Dame doesn't need the Public League players to win but they didn't handle this situation well at all.

If Michigan scrapes by PSU and starts putting together an actual season while ND circles the drain, it's time to put in some calls to Steven Filer, et al.

Renovate! The House Rock Built's game report is sad because he's a nice guy who couldn't even get a damn slice of pizza in Michigan Stadium; it is also a powerful argument for the upcoming renovations (er... "repairs"):

As I reached the concourse, I was stunned whan I saw the restroom. There wasn't a line for the men's room, per se, but an amorphous blob of antsy dudes tap-dancing with bladder fatigue about 25 deep and 10 broad. I walked to the other end of the stadium and saw an even larger line at the other restroom, so I dubiously returned to the line of something like 250 people and waited patiently to do my duty. I somehow survived the ordeal without making a mess of myself and strolled out of the men's room about 20 minutes after I had left my seat. No worries, since I hadn't missed anything eventful on the field, but still an aggravating hassle. Nevertheless, my spirits were still high and I was resolved to make it to the end without losing my cool. I went back to my section and saw a line of about 20 people waiting to get into the aisle to work their way toward the seats.

A lot of opposing fans level accusations at Michigan Stadium's sucky amenities. They are right; this should change as soon as possible.

Side note: this passage?

My biggest cheer came late in the second quarter, where a somewhat promising drive had the Irish's total yardage rapicly closing in on 0. When our yardage hit negative-9 yards, I stood up and cheered wildly, shouting "Single digit negative, baby! Oh, yeah!" The fans around me laughed along and gave me high-fives.

Remember our stirring goal-line stand down 39-7? It was at this moment I high-fived my cousin, turned the Oregon fans behind us and said "OH YEAH! SUCK IT!" to a similar reaction. Oh, how I wish I could not relate to that.)

Etc.: I feel for the guys at Randomly Located Iowa Sports Blog (aka Black Heart Gold Pants); they have taken to posting Morrissey lyrics in the wake of losing to Iowa State. I also wish I could not relate to that bit.

9/17/2007 - Michigan 38-0 Notre Dame - 1-2

"They're going to have to learn about us, OK? Let them try to stop a pro-style offense, which has multiple personnel groups and multiple formations. Let's see how they are going to do. They've had their advantage because I've come into recruiting late. Well, now it's Xs and Os time. Let's see who has the advantage now."

-Charlie Weis

This post isn't really about Michigan, because that game provided no more information about Michigan than the upcoming Eastern Michigan game will. When not blocked, they can sack; when not shed, they can run.

And thus the House of Weis comes crashing down. Notre Dame, in year three of the Weis regime, is 119th -- last -- in rushing, total offense, and scoring offense. The pass offense, Notre Dame's bright spot, is 115th. Notre Dame has been blown out by more than twenty points for the past five games. NDNation begins to turn in on itself, and even Stewart Mandel -- generally the last person to realize anything -- has caught on to the sleight of hand Weis parlayed into a ten year, 40 million dollar contract. Losing to Appalachian State seems like small potatoes in comparison.

Notre Dame partisans will tell you all about this year's senior class, they of the four contributors who are all marginal players at best, and point a finger at Ty Willingham's recruiting. They are not without reason here. Willingham's 2004 class was a dire melange of two-stars and guys overrated late because they decided to go to Notre Dame. It is dragging the program down. But this far? Notre Dame has a number of contributors left over from the 2003 class: four-year starting center John Sullivan, three-year starter Trevor Laws, probable NFL first-rounder John Carlson. All told there are fifteen seniors on the Notre Dame two-deep and all of them will be departing after this year. (I think a couple may be walkons, but there are at least 12 on scholarship.)

Dire numbers, these... or not. Michigan has nine scholarship seniors. Ohio State, terrifyingly, lists all of five seniors on their entire two-deep and will graduate three starters after this year. Three of the five seniors are fullbacks. Clearly, both of these teams are much better than Notre Dame -- as are your local Pop Warner runners-up -- despite not having a massive edge in experience. Youth cannot explain away Notre Dame's start.

What can? There is a compelling case to be made that Charlie Weis sucks at life and, by extension, football. This is the Notre Dame offensive line that has given up 23 sacks:

• C John Sullivan. Redshirt senior. A four-year starter; given four stars and ranked the #3 center in 2003.
• LT Paul Duncan. True junior. Three-star, #26 OT of 2005. Other finalists: UCLA, Oklahoma, LSU.
• LG Mike Turkovich. True junior. Three-star, #30 OT of 2005. Other finalists: Wisconsin, BC, LSU.
• RT Sam Young. True sophomore. Five-star all-everything recruit; returning starter.
• RG Dan Wenger. Redshirt freshman. Four-star Rivals 250 member; #3 center of 2006.

Syracuse is second-to-last with 18 sacks allowed; no one else in the country has allowed more than 13. Not even Temple. Is this the picture of a line pretty obviously the worst in the country? Consider that Michigan is currently rocking a true sophomore and a redshirt freshman itself. Sam Young has the recruiting rankings than Schilling does and a year of starting experience; last year Schilling sat on the sidelines with mono, then injured his shoulder in the spring. Dan Wenger was rated slightly lower than Justin Boren and redshirted himself. Taken together these guys are a wash. John Sullivan is a four-year starter and redshirt senior who was a four-star his recruiting year: this is equivalent to Jake Long in terms of rating and experience. (Perhaps this is not quite fair, but we did give a wash to the kids on the line when Young has started for a season and neither Michigan player has.) Where Michigan has an advantage is in junior Alex Mitchell and senior Adam Kraus, who have one and two years experience on true juniors Paul Duncan and Mike Turkovich, respectively, plus a star edge in recruiting rankings. This is not an enormous gap. Michigan's line should be better than Notre Dame's, but not 295 rushing yards better.

courtesy Dave Dilks

Meanwhile, erstwhile starting quarterback Demetrius Jones -- lauded as a great guy and one of the keys to Notre Dame's impressive 2008 recruiting class -- got benched and immediately bolted for Northern Illinois... or didn't, instead enrolling at NIU on September 4th but continuing to practice with the Irish until it was time to board the bus for Ann Arbor, at which point he moved out of the dorm without telling anyone. It's hard to think of a more vindictive way to leave a football team that doesn't involve kneecapping the starting quarterback on the way out.

In a vacuum, this could be considered the petulant act of a 19-year-old kid angry at losing his spot. But last year starting defensive end Ronald Talley left Notre Dame for I-AA Delaware for no apparent reason. And running back Darius Walker bolted for the NFL draft... at least in theory. He was passed over and everyone got in their mocking, but he looks like a genius now. This was a non-screwup of a kid leaving early for NFL prospects everyone knew were dim. (Zach Frazer's transfer was a clear "you're never playing here, kid" sort of thing that happens to most programs, but it's also faulty roster management that leaves ND with two scholarship quarterbacks.)

Anyone who's read this blog for more than a nanosecond knows what the upcoming explanation is going to be: Weis is a colossal asshole. Heck, anyone who's read one of his many ridiculously arrogant press conference quotes (the grand mother of them begins this post) or saw the embarassing 60 Minutes puff piece -- wherein Weis came off as a bully and a jackass -- when Notre Dame was returning to glory for the umpteenth time knows this. The only wonder is that the media spent the better part of 2.5 years pumping him up as Weis E. Coyote, Certified Super Genius, largely because Weis spent every available moment telling the media that he and his ACME catalog of incredibly sophisticated devices were worth a foolproof touchdown every game. Somehow I doubt even Tyrone Willingham would have Notre Dame scoring -7 points per game.

By god, if EDSBS can have a horrible photoshop of Dennis
Erickson driving a golf cart into a volcano, I can have this.

The result of all these fantastic toys? Literally nothing. No touchdowns. No rushing yards. No hope. This implosion has to be laid at Weis' feet. Jeff Carroll of the South Bend Tribune brings forth an excellent point:

Weis sabotaged this season when he installed that gimmick offense for the opener. What that did, beyond chasing unloved Demetrius Jones to DeKalb, Ill., was rob valuable learning time from new starters who should have been absorbing the fundamentals of running Notre Dame's real offense.

He essentially flushed preseason practices down the drain, never to be recovered. Since then, the inexperienced offense has been scrambling to get up to speed, and it may never, at least not this season. But, again, that's a symptom, not the underlying problem. The main malady is that Weis thinks that because he can process complex schemes, his players can do the same in 20 hours a week.

Weis either half-assed a spread offense and wasted some of his preseason prep time or really went for it, wasted all of his player's time, and junked it 30 minutes into the season. Either way it's a huge miscalculation borne of hubris, the one thing Weis has more of than lipids.*

Thus an odd situation to find oneself in: I kind of wish Notre Dame was better. Obliterating Notre Dame for the second consecutive year was a pick-me up, but it can only be so meaningful when Notre Dame is intent on snapping it to Tacopants and generally soiling itself whenever Michigan

1. does something clever like run left, or
2. does something clever like rush the passer.

As it is, a 38-0 whitewashing of Notre Dame means almost nothing in the somewhat grander (ie: Big Ten) scheme of things. Michigan will play no worse team this year. Eastern Michigan is likely to rack up positive rushing yards. Minnesota will probably manage the shotgun snap just fine. Both are strong possibilities to score; even if they do not they will probably have more than one meaningful snap on Michigan's side of the field. If Notre Dame did not suck so very badly, our prospects for Penn State would be cheerier. But they are not and so 38-0 is just a pleasant nothing of a game, enjoyable in and of itself but no solace in the face of teams that will do more than swing purses at onrushing players.

So there is always this, even when you've just lost to Appalachian State: Notre Dame sucks and has sucked for 14 years. This offseason we will search the country high and low for a proven collegiate winner; Notre Dame is saddled with a maladjusted hunchback who they have given a ten-year contract for losing to USC.

*(it's a fat joke, sure, but it's a science-y fat joke.)

Bullets:

• But oh boy do I still have some problems with our coaching staff. Unless Henne is for-sure playing this week, Michigan's decision to spend the entire second half grinding away on the ground was ludicrous. We have a true freshman quarterback who may or may not be starting against Justin King and Penn State next week; we should have been throwing on every down as soon as the game hit 38-0. It might have drawn fire for being "classless," but this isn't Chad Henne out there. Every rep the kid can get against actual competition helps.
• I really hope Carlos Brown's problem is cast-related, but I don't know... visions of Max Martin dance in my head, minus all the bad-apple stuff.
• Johnny Sears gone, drugs, bye.
• What is the deal with James Rogers and Renaldo Sagesse getting playing time? And Zion Babb? Have we learned nothing from Prescott Burgess?
• On first glance the linebackers were vastly improved, especially Thompson, but I think much of that was never having to deal with blockers.
• I think we might be able to grind Penn State pretty good; last year we had a decently effective ground game and now they have a very young defensive line. Stats are good so far, but against FIU, Notre Dame, and Buffalo. (Note that even before this year, Penn State looked to have a horrible nonconference schedule with those three teams and Temple. The three non-ND teams were ranked #117, #118, and #119 among D-I football programs by ESPN; with the Irish collapse Penn State may have the worst nonconference schedule of all time.)
• Mallett: meh performance, but I love his enthusiasm:

  

• There is a season to have if Penn State is defeated. That's the nice bit of being in a conference.
• No shirking from BGS' Dylan, who steps up to the plate and takes it like a man with... uh... two sentences:
  

  You are what your record says you are, and right now you're an 0-3 football team, and that's not good enough.

Not by a damn sight.

Good game, mister. Glass houses.

Ladies... oh yes, ladies...

Courtesy Pete Stanger

Please note the timestamp on this from the BGS comments:

cue up Yakety Sax.
fd | Email | Homepage | 09.15.07 - 3:55 pm | #

Don't mind if I do!

Massive, incredible credit goes to Jeremy Bronson, who put this together and did it as well as possible.