nah. I would never use a computer during a Michigan game. Gotta maintain focus.
I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU SONNY
Sorry no Dear Diary this week -- was on a family trip through yesterday. Related: shout-out to the Michigan Ski Team -- I was that one guy at Crystal this with the kickin' Fischer demos, and a way of swinging my arms while carving that looks like I'm shtupping a donkey (thanks, cock-ass Winter Walden instructor in 1991).
Instead, I give you three new columns to the instant classic "Clans" breakdown by MVictors, Lew, and the Hoover Street Rag, referenced atop Tuesday's "Unverified Voracity" column. The new categories:
Comments and suggestions for additional categories are very welcome. Chart made available on Google Docs if you want to make changes yourself (note them in the comments).
|Clan||Favorite Pre-Game Tradition||Where to Watch an Away Game||Every Michigan Fan Should Read...|
|Bo Clan (15%)||We barbecued these same ribs back in '73, an' I tell ya the stadium looks different and some o' th' buildings, but this spot hasn't changed a damn bit.||At home, with EVERYBODY over. This is the couch where we watch MICHIGAN football. Later in the year the wife makes chili.||Those Who Stay, by Curt Stephenson|
|The Rebellion (9%)||Beer Pong or 'U Honk We Drink' on the porch of a State St flophouse.||In the basement (because too emotional to watch with everyone upstairs) with laptops on their knees for Live-Blogging.||The Decimated Defense, by Misopogon|
|Corduroy Jacket w/ Patch Clan (1%)||Kerrytown Farmer's Market - it's so nice and peaceful downtown when all those football fans are at the game, isn't it?||Oh there's a game today? Are we good this year? How 'bout we take a walk in the Arb instead -- it's so lovely when the leaves change.||Fired Magic: Detroit's Pewabic Pottery Treasures, by Marcy Heller Fisher|
|In Rod We Trusted (5%)||Standing atop the little garden outcropping at Blimpy Burger and trying to engage the sadly misinformed Cotton Pickers waiting in line in an RR versus Carr debate.||At the Bo Clan guy's house, trying to convince everybody that THIS win over Notre Dame is going to be the start of something special. As RR becomes less defensible late in the year, take an increasing interest in the chili.||Denard: The Happening, by mdoc, or The Big Rodriguez, by Brian Cook|
|Lloyd Loyalists (20%)||The Broken Egg - we've been meeting here for breakfast every year since senior year, which was [1997+/- 3 years].||Local sports bar. Pray a member of the Rebellion comes in so you can kick his ass.||The Obscene Diaries of a Michigan Fan, by Craig Ross|
|Cotton Pickin’ Blues (45%)||The Golf Course.||At the home of the guy with the big TV sometimes if there's only going to be a few people over, but otherwise at home to facilitate that 3rd quarter nap.||If These Walls Could Talk: Michigan Football Stories from the Big House, by Jon Falk and Dan Ewald|
|Fierce Pragmatists (1%)||Dragging Misopogal to a different tailgate every week in the bare hopes of finding another Fierce Pragmatist, as opposed to the millions of Rebels and Rod-Trusters who think they're Fierce Pragmatists||Refreshing on the iPhone while stuck in Rosh Hashanah/Yom Kippur/Wife's Stupid Cousin's wedding.||Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace|
|The Second Estate (1.5%)||Giving the kids the insider passes so they can do the field tour during warmups, while you hold court in the important people rooms where everybody can see that you're an important person.||The TV room of the cottage on Houghton or Lime Lake,||Bo's Lasting Lessons: The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership, by Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon|
|The Decatur Clan (2.5%)||Covering yourself in maize and walking down Hoover with the throngs all the way to the stadium, then turning back up to State St. and doing it all over again.||In West Lafayette, or East Lansing, or Columbus, or Evanston, or wherever the Wolverines may travel - probably next to Lloyd Brady.||100 Things Michigan Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, by Angelique Chengelis|
nah. I would never use a computer during a Michigan game. Gotta maintain focus.
Just cuz Greg et al claimed the fierce pragmatist is only 1.5% doesn't make it so. Could it be that no one description fits people exactly so they choose the closest one? *gasp*
Funny stuff tho.
be the fiercely pragmatic way to deal with it.
I was firmly in the In Rod We Trusted camp (I even have the T-Shirt!) until about halftime against Iowa. However, I'm firmly rooted in The Rebellion as far as my game watching habits. It's not that I'm too emotional, it's that everyone else doesn't care enough--particularly my Miami (YTM) wife, my two-month old daughter, and my dog.
I didn't think I was according to the previous chart, but now that you put it this way... It fits perfectly
Unite us. Unite us. Unite the clans.
- Wiiliam Wallace
It's Lloyd Loyalists. Did you not read the descriptions?
Attended UM in 70s and thought Bo was way too boring and conservative.
Watched Moeller and thought he was too conservative with the talent he had.
Couldn't bear to watch many of Carr's teams...insanely conservative all the time.
Always thought RR wasn't conservative enough.
Serves me right, I guess.
At Michigan in the late 70's, and never missed a game. Bo ruled the world. Boring? Leach running the option boring? Those guys were incredible.
Yeah, really exciting. I was ready to leave at halftime every game 75-76-77-78 except OSU.
I'll never forget the Orange Bowl in '76. Leach to tacopants over and over again...like he'd never thrown a football downfield before. Oh yeah, he hadn't.
The triple option is the most beautiful offense ever conceived by man. It ought to be mandatory for all college teams to run the option. I also attended Michigan at the height of the Bo years (77-81) and loved every minute of every game.
Try to say 'Coach Hoke' ten times fast...
I'll stand behind him when the season starts, but I'm still bitter. Hope + Excitement (along with massive frustration) are now being replaced by Stodgy + Expected (along with a limp future)
I keep thinking, We could have been a contender! We coulda been somebody! A national emphasis on recruiting is now replaced by a regional emphasis. As a logical extension, we should just recruit at Pioneer HS and really show MSU who owns A2.
Rivalry! Big 10 Championship! Podium Thumping. Pointing in the distance. Toughness! Hard Hitting! --It's all ours now.
I made the following edit to the spreadsheet (because I was an In Rod We Truster and this is what I did):
In Rod We Trusted:
Where to Watch an Away Game column, added following last sentence:
Found himself fast-forwarding through all defensive possessions and ignoring the defense UFRs as the 2010 season progressed in order to remain sane.
I'm in the Rebellion with a little "Fierce Pragmatist" in me
"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga
The title says it all, plus Lady Gaga is avant garde, much like the spread offense was to the Lloyd Loyalists.
Also, I can't even claim to be in the pragmatist group. I'm so stupidly in the Decatur Clan it's scary. I called for a RichRod contract extension after the ND game. Now I'm glad he was fired and am embracing Hoke.
My only true trait is being unabashedly optimistic about anything that could even remotely go right until it is definitely proven to have gone wrong.
No way, man. Flash Delirium! Works on both levels.
You kids and your electronic music, with your acronyms (or whatever it is that MGMT is) and your complicated shoes.
I see myself as part of the rebellion, but I'm not so pissed anymore about the Hoke hire. The home and away game descriptions are spot-on though.
Which clan are you a member of if you watch away games via liveblog on your iPhone? That's how I managed to keep up with the PSU game while at a wedding reception,
It's also how I followed the IU game--long distance, while dirtbiking in Moab! Every time our group stopped for a break, i checked to see whether we had service. Caught the winning drive in the middle of nowhere at 10,000 feet. Epic.
I'm a pretty young M fan being only 16 and I find I don't really fit in any clan because I'm not old enough to fit in most places and I'm not a Lloyd loyalist maybe we need a youngin clan or something haha just thinking out loud here
Still way too young for Lloyd and definitely not 2nd estate so maybe decatur.....
Pretty, young, M fan, and sixteen. Internet, I'm warning you right now: Don't be Internet. You here me Internet?
I'd say I'm part of the Rebellion, but for a fleeting few weeks I was with "In Rod We Trusted". I'd still be seen at Blimpy Burger every pregame though.
in the Neo-Max Zoom Dweebie Clan. Thanks Judd Nelson.
In other words, I'm not in any goddamn clan, faction, division or whatever the hell else we use to divide ourselves.
Win, bitch. Just win.
And don't have a bunch of criminals doing it.
Misopogon, I almost fell out of my chair reading that. Was that game played anywhere else other than from the porch of a State St. flophouse in the fall of 2001? Great location for the hockey games as well. Leave Yost during the intermissions, chug some beverages, head back when the game came back on the TV.
Those were some good times...I wished I remembered them better...
We got the idea from a flophouse on State Street near Hoover in the late 90s, and then played it ourselves at 308 E. Willam c. 2002-03 seasons. We added "Will Bong for Boobs" until a cop came up and told us we had to shut the game down. We asked if we can still do it for Ohio State and he was like, "Well of course you can do it for Ohio State!"
This was also when we started singing re-written versions of other teams' fight songs to opposing fans as they walked by, e.g.
One more loss for ol' Notre Dame,
Came to Ann Arbor, they left with shame.
Could not run, they could not pass,
They could not slow our big tailback*
Go back to South Bend, hang your head low,
Reflect on the score: Thirty-Eight to Oh.
Oh this loss was just par for course,
For the losers of Notre Dame
*Perry. Though we changed it to "small" for Hart.
Thanks for the reply. I didn't know anyone else played the U Honk game, but it is really nice to see it had spread and morphed.
When did you play it? I'd love to trace the game's history.
Up above the ol' Red Cedar,
There's a team that's making bail,
Their specialty's marauding, and getting put in jail.
Spartan teams will bust your pot-luck,
And knock out your icer's lights,
But Coach D will put 'em on the field
...That very night!
Blow a 2 for M-S-U
Watch their B.A.C. rising
Spartan teams are bound to end
...up in a holding cell (Rah rah rah)
See their defense take the stand,
We're gonna win this case,
Fight! Fight! 20 percent of the team, Fight!
Another Brawl for M.S.U.
If my feces looks like BO, but then I shape it to look like Carr, am I a Bo clan member trapped inside a Lloyd Loyalist, or am I merely a fecophiliac?
WTF is it with you guys and Infinite Jest? The next person I see with that book I'm smacking that $h!t right out of your hands!
I would have liked one more year in the Spread with Denard. Possibility of a special season. That was my only reason for perhaps retaining Rodriguez.
That being said, being blown out by everyone important ever, and then Miss St. was disgusting and made me want to hurl. The Mattison hire is a breath of fresh air, and I think that everyone who isn't at least tentatively optimistic, or at least stuck in neutral, about Hoke should pump their brakes and give the man a friggin chance.