You can find the F5 key in the dark in under 5 seconds
You might be an MGoBlogger if...
More like two
You could care less that your a pre-madonna, a moran, or a looser for all intensive purposes.
*intents and purposes
...you missed it.
Wow. I feel bad for you that you were not able to laugh this morning when you read that post due to your own mis-understanding. Please study. That is all.
Oh, and don't be a dutch man.
Don't be a Dutch man??? What do you mean by that? I'm offended. You're a racist.
You decide to forgo the /s because there is no way anybody could not possibly see the obvious satire, no way, no how, just ain't gonna happen.
You're wrong of course.
their, there, they're, your, you're, ...............
you read the post by OMG Shirtless and LOL'd.
....you immediately think about recruiting whenever someone near you uses the word "tremendous".
....the "What Are You Drinking?" threads remind you that you wanted a drink anyway.
If you don't want to be sent to la Paz fit a long stay
You are as starstruck when you see Lloyd Brady or Mitch McGary Picture Guy as if you were to see someone like Charlie Sheen etc.
so that someday you can get to 100 points and be able to start your own thread.
Keep fighting man.
..if you know more names of next years recruits than most people know of their teams starters.
You're used the phrase "BKFinest it" in real life
This. Times 10. Especially when in mixed company of MGoBloggers and non-MGoBloggers.
You yell "Tacopants!" when a pass sails over a receiver's head
You give detailed backgrounds on ever player who checks in and out of the game... leaving other people at the bar to wonder what's wrong with you
You've both wanted to punch Magnus, and greatly appreciated the insight he's provided... at the same time
You peed yourself when you saw Brian in public... tried to tell him you really appreciated his work, but instead just haplessly giggled like a schoolgirl.
when you see the Batman logo. One more point...
you randomly blurt out "Tool is coming to the Palace".
If you decided to take your family to Deerfield Beach, Florida, for family vacation.
The Brady Bunch, it reminds you of Lloyd Brady.
You don't get excited about a new commit because you expect another one within 32 minutes
You refer to residents of Dayton as "Hell people in Ohio"
A cute girl at a bar says "Hello" and you wonder who's going to commit at the Spring scrimmage.
when your wife tells the family to "buckle up"...it moves
you think of you know who.
You are watching a game and people make incorrect statements regarding Michigan sports....sometimes you bite your tongue and just go with it so people don't ask how and why you know so, so much about all things Michigan.
OR you find yourself right by a Michigan recruit like I did last week. I sat right behind Taco's bench and he was walking towards me. I was really, really tempted to stand up and do the pose that he made with Shane Morris in that picture that is always posted. I then thought to myself....I am a grown man and this is ridiculous. I am pretty sure he would have laughed, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
You finish telling a story and expect a "Cool story, bro" response.
Or you respond to long emails from your family members simply with a "tl;dr" regardless of their content.
You miss the old point system and know that both pos and neg-bangs have no sexual overtones whatsoever.
...you can also reference to "the Haloscan era"
oh Haloscan. it was the best of times. it was the worst of times.
Your girlfriend gets pissed at you for checking the MGoApp while out to dinner...
My wife yells at me for hogging the MGoApp.
I don't have a smartphone, but whenver I see that AT&T commercial, I substitute "mgoblog" in her line:
Did you just check mgoblog on your phone?
call our president Raback Omaba.. with a tinge of disdain
scream out "MUPPETS!" in real life when minor things go your way... like finding bacon half price.
when nothing is news to you. when all other media outlets and paid recruiting sites are just excersises in discovering where the information u already possess came from.
... you spend hours debating whether or not a post is "diary worthy" or merely just board material, when in reality, aren't they really pretty much the same thing?
...before posting, you ask yourself, is this safe for Mrs StephenRKass?
... you understand the significance of Michigan jerseys selling in Ohio.
... you know who Mike Jones is.
... you know who Ohio is, and who OHIO is, and what (NTM) means.
... you bought a "Cue the Muppets" t-shirt.
... you mumble to yourself, "Space, bitches, space," whenever UofM is mentioned positively in the media.
... you are still eagerly awaiting the Sugar Bowl UFR.
... you scan the crowd shots for Lloyd Brady, Facepalm Guy, and Denard.
... you WANT MOAR BUBBLE SCREENZ!
... you wait until Brian posts something before forming your own opinion. (J/K)
I always thought it was the presence or lack of a chart(?) that determined diary-worthiness.
On that note, you might be an mgoblogger if you've actually said "Chart? Chart" in real life.
You might be a mgoblogger if your natural reaction to hearing the word ohio is to respond, cooler poopers.
... in a twist on Huxley's quote (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/aldoushuxl161879.html), you've found something more interesting than pr0n.
the first thing you do is wake up in the morning, and check to see if there have been any recruiting updates...especially if it's a Saturday morning, and your pissed at yourself for not sleeping in, but you HAVE to check the blog for fear that you might miss something.
I am extremely hungover from last night and the first thing I did was roll out of bed and check mgoblog.
I think I have a problem
you mispell athletics.
You misspell athletics, but your post is so brilliant it takes 30+ posters before anyone notices (and the one who points it out misspells misspell).
The ironic thing is that I looked misspell up in the dictionary just to make sure I had it right, and then still fucked it up. I should be neg-banged.
if you reference the mgo spelling nazis as a positive roll model for your kids:
"you know if you posted that crap on mgoblog, right to Bolovia with you".
"roll model"? Really? Please tell me that was on purpose...
I am a dumb ass.
dumb does have a "b" at the end, right?
you mite be write about that, butt taht's definately ok today
Tell me more about Bolovia.
Always funny when someone misspells the word misspell
Everytime I hear of Shane Morris, I don't think of the guy next to me the recruit.
you know that Mel Gibson also has an MGoBlog account, with the screen name of Redondo Wolverine.
Side note: how random was that?
Normal guy... normal guy... "JUDAISM CAUSES FUMBLES!!!!!11"
You meet a girl who you find out is a fellow MGoBlogger and you think "I could marry her"
You randomly yell "MANBALL" during a pickup football game and all the guys around you look at you strangely.....
I might have to try that in my next pickup game.
If the last place you want to visit is Bolivia
you were in an important business meeting at work this week, and one of your clients mentions they are originally from Bolivia- and you try not to smile while thinking about Mgoblog.
You love Sports Science because it is interesting stuff.
after watching Obi Ezeh wait and wait and wait and then zoom in the wrong direction you mumble to yourself "minus 3."
you know you're an mgoblogger when you consider the day a disappointment if you don't see a "hello:" post.
When you see a picture of a shirtless man and say aloud OMG shirtless and giggle.
You might be a mgoblogger if you see Tacopants and dont think about someone shitting themselves after consuming Mexican food
Actually, I shit myself after consuming Mexican food, and then call myself Tacopants.
I hope you're using
If you commonly refer to MSU as STAEE.
You're natural reaction to fear is to say "hold me TomVH".
When you see people buying michigan jerseys in Ohio and laugh about it.
haha beat me to it apparently
Can't believe nobody ever uses that in threads.
...if the pumas at the Nat History museum still roar when you walk by like they do for me.....wait, what?
That may also have to do with the fact you clean yourself with a damp towel on a stick
Pumas don't like malordorous zaftig middle aged men? Well, cougars sure don't....
.... if you bought a Michigan jersey in Ohio when they were selling like hotcakes
If you have MGOBLOG set as a bookmark, click it, scan the page for updates, then decide to continue surfing the web and without even realizing it, click the MGOBLOG bookmark again instead of going to another site, and then scan the page for a second time in under 30 seconds
Amateur move, you don't have MGoBlog set as your homepage.
you only think of one guy.
THIS IS ND
the idea of THE PARTY ROOM fills you with revulsion instead of excitement
...up until I read this, "Party Room" meant the 4-man room at the end of the hallway in my WMU dorm 35 years ago. Now I'll never again think of things in those terms when I see the phrase "The Party Room".
When every joke you make could be made into a clever kork coupons meme.
Shirtless needs an OMG in front of it.
Batman spotlight mounted on top of your house.
Than to ask about bubble screens.
ponying up the 10K to get Brian at your kid's birthday party in a Terelle Pryor jersey.
single buddies describes the chick he picked up in the bar the other night and makes her sound like a supermodel, who loves cooking, watching sports and enjoys flacio and your instant married man response is:
Man, I give that four fakes out of five.....
Hahahah a love this one
You might be an MGoBlogger if after reading the site for two years you still don't understand what "Unverified Voracity" means and whether or not it's an actual person who is friends with "Friday Recruiting" and "Michigan Muesday".
even though you learn nothing new.
If you visit the site "mgoblog.com." At work. A lot more than you probably should.
Better yet, every time you hear footsteps towards your office you immediately press Alt+Tab out of habit.
When you defend your (seemingly obvious) reaction to a situation with "which, like, duh."
Your homepage is mgoblog.com
When mgoblog is down for maintenance, you take it out on your significant other...
...you see a "Hello:" post and immediately think "Where's my Kate Upton?";
...you see Kate Upton and immediately think "wait... who committed?"
...you have ever completed a task at work and shouted "MUPPETS!!!"
...you have ever referred to Angry BLANK Hating God in a non-sports context
...you have ever said "I be like dang," or referenced Henri (the Otter of Ennui) or Perry (the Purdue ACL-ephant)
You might be an MGoBlogger if, when discussing MGoBlog with friends, they discover your username, and they respond with "Dude... that's YOU!?!?!?"
That's happened to me before.
One time, a buddy told me he was on mgoblog a lot, I asked him his screenname and he said he never really posted. He asked me what mine was, and when I told him he replied with "Oh yeah, you're really on there a lot. Shit."
My wife overheard some people talking about MGoBlog and went and asked them if they know who "Misopogon" is, and one of them told her "His real name is Seth!"
every time you post anything in any thread on any topic (including the Moderator Sticky) you get negged. Oh wait, that's just me??
appeals to you because she has season tickets to the Big House and all you can think to tell her about is mgoblog.
You are more excited about a Brian Cook photobomb T-Shirt than any article of clothing you have had since elementary school...
While watching Michigan sporting events, you find yourself going crazy or laughing hysterically at something your "real life" friends find completely innocuous and benign. Then spend the next 2 hours trying to distinguish real life humor from Mgohumor before you dare to open your mouth.
if you're slightly depressed on a Saturday because 4 more recruits haven't committed yet.
You know your GPA would be at least moderately better if not for taking the time to read every single post in a thread like this one
you start humming Sufjan Stevens' Seven Swans.
You are the recruiting ninja for your all of your friends/family going so far as to include YMRMFSPA (you may remember me from such players as)
... you have an unshakeable belief that the shotgun is forever the optimal formation for Denard Robinson.
... you cringe when someone tries to engage you on Rich Rodriguez.
you never get laid. I kid I kid... kinda
does ennui attract otters?
you get additionally excited to go duece because you know youre about to fire up the mgoapp and the toilet.
I'm currently taking a dump at target in Chicago reading this thread. Serenity.
You get so into posting you don't notice you posted to the wrong thread.
I have done this more than once. I usually replace it with I CAN HAZ something or other so I don't get neg bombed.
I get more excited about the creativity of posters in a double-post than what they wanted to post in the first place.
This may not appeal to the newer members. You are moved by a piece of MSPaint art.
It's been a long time since I've seen the Shredder post anything :(
If you are still concerned about the recruitment of players who have signed with other schools long ago.
I don't know what you're talking about.
BTW. Did anyone else here that Diggs is thinking about transferring to michigan?!
You wake up in the middle of the night and grab your phone to go on mgoblog app to see if you missed a late night Hello post even though that never happens. You never know!!
You put seat belts on your computer chair.
You start getting excited or depressed about a score in a sport you don't even care about because someone's posting about it.
We just walked in 3 straight runs after an hbp, as I read this thread.
You meet a relative of your girlfriend who is a Ohio fan and he brings up a name of someone we just got a commitment from and you then go on to list every player we have received commitments from and explain our full depth chart for 2013 and 2014.
...the Free Press is dead to you.
...you have a twitter account exclusively to follow TomVH and Sam Webb (and a few other recruiting gurus not named Mike Farrell)
...you're at a party and still need to check MGoBlog "just in case".
...you plan "MGoBlog breaks" into your work
...you know Bolivian's weather this time of year. (It's supposedly really nice)
...you plan work breaks into your MGoBlog time.
Three Star Mafia.
Grit as a construct.
|Pos: S||Pos Rank: #124||Pos Rating:|
|Scout.com Player Evaluation:|
|Smart, heady, confident player who consistently puts himself in position to make plays. Has good closing speed and takes good angles in pursuit. In coverage, he shows good awareness and solid ball skills. He does not yet have ideal size and strength but is an excellent form tackler. His enthusiasm for the game is contagious and he's a true leader to his team mates. - Allen Trieu|
If you see 130 replies to a thread and you make yourself believe that what you had to say isn't that important, someone's probably already said it, and nobody will see the comment.
you might be an mgoblogger if you call a cat an LOLCAT in real life.
You still hold out hope of seeing RoJo, Gholston, and Diggs wearing the Maize and Blue.
All your friends about the state of recruiting even though none of them care.
I am guilty of this, I'll gladly inform anyone who mentions football about how our recruiting class is, whether or not they care. Luckily I have a couple friends who also intently follow recruiting/are mgobloggers which result in us having hour long conversations about how we see the current class ending up.
You can't hear the word "tide" without thinking about Brady Hoke and tshirts.
. . . or if you're visibly upset that you missed this thread the first time around.
You play Where's Waldo with Lloyd Brady at every UM sporting event......find him....giggle....then try to explain to everyone in the room who he is......you wouldn't understand....giggle
if you stay up on a Friday night waiting for a "hello dee hart" post and then can't sleep when it comes through
If you drive your woman nuts with ignoring her while reading hello posts, and she has been a season ticket holder from pretty much birth.
If you post about the walking dead while watching it, and still ignoring her
You say "plus one" out loud when someone makes a good point in a public place.
You have asked someone to send a Bolivian postcard when they have said something dumb in public.
Your significant other thinks you are addicted to Angry Birds when you in fact don't even have it on your phone.
...you measure a coach's success by how his hire has affected jersey sales.
...you associate muppets with good news.
...you associate kittens with bad news.
Whenever you hear someone say Michigan you have the urge to yell fergodsakes.
When the IT guy at work shakes his head when he see's your internet history is only full of Mgoblog instead of work related items.
You know the first rule about never talking about something isn't actually Fight Club.
You care about that thing you don't talk about even though it doesn't matter.
Space Bitches, Space isn't a low budget porn to you.
... if you argue about whether a subject should contain "OT" or not.
... if you first read about a natural disaster or other major event on MGoBlog.
If you post on here!
... if you know what "Thought Equity Motion" is and hate them with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns.
about mega-corporations trademarking school colors and forcing teams to use highlighters instead of dyes.
When your worried friends tell you to relax and talk about calming things like politics and religion.
should be kept open at the top of the MGoBoard at all times. Great stuff.
When you cant watch football games with live people because they dont understand your intensity like your live blog "friends"
You refer to your wedding video as a "Hype Video".
Still check the blog in April when there are no Michigan sports currently in session (sorry baseball and softball)
You can't talk about politics without freaking out
...you can remember important numbers by roster numbers of former/current Michigan football players. For example, there are Rod Payne-Alan Branch feet in a mile, my wife's birthday is Wheatley the Henne'nth, my gym locker is Braylon-Braylon's Old Number-Braylon.
. . . if your MGoFriends (ones you've never met or really ever had more than a 3-post exchange) are cooler and more fun to spend time with than your real friends.
. . . if the Moderator Sticky is more enjoyable than other forms of entertainment.
. . . if you start to believe that certain posters actually look like the avators they chose (I'm looking at you, Dark Blue).
. . . if you judge people's worth by the number of MGoPoints they have.
. . . if you physically start to sweat before you click on the "Post" button before starting a new thread because you're afraid about posting something that's already been discussed.
. . . if a video of an atomic explosion makes you think of JHackney.
If you get mad when your post gets down-voted
If you LOL'd in this thread
If you care about Arizona football
If you know that dreads = dilithium speed
If you think we have a shot at beating 'Bama
If you refer to the team(s) as we
If you know anything about Michigan Softball
and your first thought is that he killed 5 hookers at SMU.....
Gotta love this post from the Bobby Petrino thread.......
What a strange way to dispose of your prostitute, Bobby. Call me next time for pointers.
from: Craig James
4/5/2012 5:32:24 PM