You are Al Borges for this week. What is your game plan to beat Ohio State?
Sorry, that was a little harsh. I saw red.
Call and beg Cam Cameron to come and take my job and house.
Really: Run on 1st down. If Green gets 3-4 yards, you can run again or a short pass or screen.
ALWAYS pass on third down unless it is 3rd and 1. And I mean short passes like a slant.
Hey, it worked on NCAA 14. I beat iowa 39-38 in 2OT going for 2 & the win on my Friday night simulation game.
cam cameron is another mediocre coach.
What he was able to do with Joe Flacco (SuperBowl Champ) and now Zach Mettinberger, his ability to coach the QB position is far beyond mediocre.
Do know the Ravens fired him because of his lack of offense? Then they won the superbowl!
I mean, might as well make Fred Jackson the OC again if we're fixing to dial up Cam Cameron and go all out to rehash the 90s.
3-yard screen passes on every 3rd and 8, just like the old days!
Too late to make big changes, this offense is what it is.
Kill my family.
You really seem to thrive after Michigan loses. It's almost like it gives you new energy and excitement.
Pray for a lightning strike.
This week it's finally going to work, no one will expect it - just have to execute!
Is if you, M-Dog, were actually Al Borges and came onto this board to ask us all what to do. It would make sense because Borges is clueless and needs help.
I'm not Al Borges. No, not me. That would be crazy. I'd never do anything like that. Not me.
So, um, anyway, if I was Al Borges, what would you do?
You know, I'm just asking. Just for fun and all. I don't really care about your opinions on a blog. Especially your opinions about 3rd and long.
I'm kidding haha, sorry
That's OK. Mattison busts my ass all the time, er, I mean my wife busts my ass all the time.
So, about 3rd and long?
Alright. I think I posted this further down the thread but it's genius so it bears repeating
1. Run QB sneak with the strongest linemen and Derrick Green as the wildcat QB every single play. This will help prevent long third downs
2. Wait until the last second to get every play off. This will make the game shorter
3. Ohio is unable to score as much, and it gives the defense a chance to win the game with pick-sixes
I'll run it past Coach Hoke, er, I mean, my boss in Accounting.
You gonna eat that?
I was thinking the same thing. Imagine if big al actually was so lost he came here to ask for advice. I'm sure it would work better then what he has come up with all year
Run the ball up the middle all game, they'll never see it coming.
Lots of cute and predictable responses to this thread already I see.
I would take your suggestion and go NASCAR in the 2nd and 4th quarters. For the 1st and 3rd quarters, I would have Mattison watch all the offensive film on Michigan and consult on where the tendencies and predicatbility lie. Then I would set up specific fakes and misdirection to take advantage of a team being prepared for those
And snark-free. Bravo.
I really hope that he has not waited this whole season to do it but if he has... please oh please let this work.
If not they can just keep running it up the middle on ISO play because that seems to work.
/s (not really)
This is a great idea. Please get this to AL Borges today somehow. Being serious, this is a great idea
If im al im calling Mouse Davis
Start all underclassmen on the team while keeping out the upperclassmen from the game because of "team misconduct". Then, after an 80 point loss, say youth was the reason. Job saved
Is his job really in the crosshairs? Everyone seems so certain he will be back next year regardless. We need trick plays and turnovers to win this game. Tempo and spreading the field, no more than 10 called run plays to keep either defense honest but limit our negative plays
He could be shown the door if the showing against Ohio is ridiculously bad. So his job is a little bit in the crosshairs.
This has been the worst offensive production since, dare I say '08. We are at the bottom of 120 damn teams in the FBS for plays of negative yardage which does not even include the FCS (which may put us at around 250 however many schools there are in the FCS).
This is just unacceptable!!! Arrggrgggrhagagaah.
I cannot even believe the state of our offense. We have an amazing D and that is with a horrible offense so think of how much better our D would be with an average to OK O!
Yeah I would say... unless he wins this week, which would be awesome but highly unlikely, he is done as soon as the bowl is over, if not before.
I'm pretty sure the season numbers don't bear that out, but with historically bad QB play, and an o-line barely better than today's, I'm oretty sure there was never a four game or even two game stretch of futility like we have now.
I would run alot of zone stretch on first down..2nd and 12 I would run Devin read option and on 3rd and 14 I would definatly go play acion pass.
Play sheet on a dart board maybe?
OPPOSITE WEEK. Do everything opposite from the rest of the year.
I, as Al Borges, would QB sneak every single down with Derrick Green as the wildcat QB. I would snap only when the playclock reaches 1 second. This would:
1) prevent negative yardage
2) keep the clock moving so ohio has less time to score
3) allow the defense to rest
Suddenly, the score differential is lower and my job as OC is saved. Bonus points if the defense scores for me and wins the game.
Same gameplan as vs Notre Dame. Go up-tempo, don't keep the backs in to block, dump it off to them, throw it at their feet, etc.
that looks like gorgeous Al.
That image will forever give me nightmares
First thing I do is therapy up Devin Gardner. Do whatever it takes to get him into a frame of mind where he can go out on to that field with a desire to win and the feeling he can do it.
I can't believe he was taking the blame yesterday. Pretty sure if someone said Brendan Gibbons deserved the blame for Penn State, he would defend Gibbons and say it's a team game. I would tell them to have fun, who cares, it's the last game of the year. Also pass like crazy. All the time. Spread 4 wideouts every play.
Put my head into a bench vise.
Why has no mentioned throw bubble screens?
Don't tell anyone, but I will run three reverses in a row! They will never see it coming!
Crowd source my play calling by having Michigan fans vote in real time and watch them fail far worse than anything we have ever seen before.
No they couldn't. The collective fan base wouldn't even know how to properly call a play.
You can actually sit there and say with a straight face that this fan base would do a better job of play calling than a professional? Especially in light of the totally insane comments that are posted here in an endless stream?
If you say "Yes," then you've lost all credibility in my eyes, and no one (save for the troglodytes who populate sports talk radio) can take your opinions seriously any longer.
I agree with everything you've stated (even though I'm aware it was said in jest), and I would add they'd probably get Devin Gardner killed as well.
It would be the most embarrassing, nonsensical offensive performance in the history of Michigan football, and that's saying something.
The thing about your inane argument is that the fans MIGHT do what you suggest. What you're failing to grasp is that Borges, who gets paid millions of $'s, DID do it. Your schtick is getting lamer by the day, and you are simply outgunned. Borges is a disaster, and you seem to be the only guy who doesn't realize this.
So this is Small Potatoes' alt?
Also, let's get one thing straight, seeing as you love to pop in any time I post a comment about the coaches and utter a bunch of inane bullshit...
Here has been my position all along and this is from a much earlier post I made with regard to Borges:
The problem is this.
Here is the Al Borges defend-o-meter:
Al is the best! Middle ground FIRE BORGES!
I have been here from the start of the season:
Al is the best! Middle ground FIRE BORGES!
A lot of you have been here:
Al is the best! Middle ground FIRE BORGES!
You're all stupidly trying to make it out like I've been here:
Al is the best! Middle ground FIRE BORGES!
Which is patently untrue. Myself, Space Coyote and others have been defending only so much as we've been saying, "There are plenty of valid criticisms, but your critcisim is incorrect and stupid."
Seriously, does no one actually read what I write, or do you just blink at the text for a couple of minutes before attempting to surmise what I wrote?
I've said all along that the lack of development along the offensive line has to be put directly on the coaches. A lot of peoples' criticisms of playcalling have been off base, because if your offensive line can't block they're aren't a whole lot of plays that you can run with a great deal of success. Your offense will also be incredibly inconsistent, especially when you combine poor blocking, with an erratic QB.
But I guess in whatever weird paradigm a lot of you subscribe to, not shouting "FIRE BORGES!" every 5 minutes, and being a bit more thoughtful and nuanced, means you think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
umm no bro.
You're so defeated in your arguments that you're willing to attack your detractors' credibility. The definition of ad hominem remarks. Real civil and intelligent man.
What would it take to prove that we are not? Maybe ask Brian; he can see our IP addresses I think and ask him to compare the two. I assure you they are different.
I'm so defeated in my arguments? You haven't even presented any arguments for me with which to be defeated.
I haven't presented any arguments other than short remarks. However, other posters have been able to cogently defeat you in discussion.
So, now you have resorted to ad hominem attacks (e.g. calling me a sockpuppet when I clearly am not, I hope you have realized you are wrong here) to try to defeat those who don't conform to your point of view.
Which other posters? Where?
Kermit? He didn't present any arguments either.
Mr. Carson actually thinking that the fans would do a better job than our offensive coordinator? That's not an argument, it's a ridiculous statement with no merit that can be dismissed outright.
So what else have you got? All I've seen is you complaining while admittedly not saying anything of merit.
Would you care to disagree with my "Borges defend-o-meter" post, or are you just going to keep whining while admittedly saying nothing of substance?
In all seriousness, it's entirely possible the fans could have outperformed Borges in the second half of the Iowa game. It was that bad. You'd only have to get lucky once or twice on a call and you'd basically have done a better job.
Until I read that book, I thought like the Last Hoke. But there is pretty compelling evidence in that book that collective wisdom often trumps experts, in many different fields.
The point is, it's the same story too often. Play-calling to date = embarrassing offense. How many times would the crowd run power up the midde? Right there is improvement. But then we non-professionals would not be setting up the PA, and all the success it has garnered. Damn, we're so short-sighted.
It's pretty clear that the fans could not call a better offense than somebody who is an offensive coordinator at the collegiate level. However, I'm not really convinced that the outcome would have been that much worse than what we have seen the last few weeks. I mean, the only way to get below 0 points in a half offensively is to turn over the ball. Plus, if that happened, the fans could just point to a lack of execution.
I can't say with a straight face I would rather have a texting vote or something that Borges, but it is pretty telling to actually believe the outcome would probably not be that much worse. Very likely things like yardage would go down, but how much has this offense really created for itself in recent weeks? They scored 14 points total against Iowa and 0 in the 2nd half. They didn't even score a touchdown for 6 quarters a few weeks ago. It's not like the standard of production has really been anything special. Michigan is 12/60 on 3rd down in November and is currently 98th in yards. I do not believe the fans would do better, but when the offense is struggling so mightly, it really isn't that crazy to think the fans (random selection) could equal that production , which is a scary thought.
I'd rather have someone who is call plays. Sanctimony does not make one a great fan.
If he crowdsourced the ohio state fans could see the calls and relay them to Urban Meyer if the results of voting were shown. On the other hand, if they were to be voted on without shown results and all, he would still have to keep the play selections down to a minimum because you can't vote on 80 different options.
Meyer would be able to look on that site, see the different options, compare it to the formation on the field, and immediately know the play.
So, TheLastHoke, you are a seer of great prescience. I would have been for such a thing, but because of your foresight I understand the logistics would not work out.
Thank you for educating me. After all, knowledge is power.
Also, massive numbers of Ohio State trolls would arrive on said site and choose the most idiotic playcalls, like play action pass on 3rd and 14 when the running game is not working.
It just wouldn't work out. Thank you for your warning.
Did you just respond to yourself, patting yourself on the back while forgetting to switch to your alt account?
I now see there's an edit button. My bad.
Way to read into something that isn't there
So I'm assuming you wanted to hit edit so that you could say, "Thank you for your warning"" to yourself.
As well as the rest of the post. I sure hope your straw men aren't losing their stuffing too quickly to your attacks. It takes effort to re-stuff them, and you don't want to do that.
I don't think you know what a straw man is.
You posted said something along the lines of "so you could add thank you to your post". In reality, I meant to add more to the post, as evidence by the paragraph above it. So, you took what I said and then made it easy for you to attack.
That is the definition of a straw man.
Yeah, that's not a straw man argument.
I in no way was attempting to distort your position. I outright refute your position that you were editing your post. There's a difference.
You were attempting to distort my position. Is your ego so inflated with long battles against the posters on this board that you seriously think you were refuting my position? Please.
1) The post I used to respond to myself had a lot more to it than just "thank you for the warning"
2) "Thank you for the warning" was directed towards you sarcastically.
3) You said in your post that you could believe that I would edit just to put "thank you for the warning"
4) I clearly had more than that
IT'S NOT A STRAW MAN
It's clearly a straw man...read
I didn't attempt to distort your position that you edited your post.
I outright disagree with it entirely.
Therefore it is not a a straw man argument.
I've explained this twice now, but apparently you don't understand what a straw man argument is, and that's fine.
Edit: OK, I'll explain this to you as succinctly as possible.
Let's say your name is Max, and you come to me and say, "My name is Dave."
I say, "No, your name is Max, I've seen your identification and it said your name is Max. I also know your parents and they say your name is Max. Your name is not Dave. Your name is Max."
You say, "No. My name is not Max, it is Dave. You're distorting my name, stop straw manning me."
I respond, "I'm not straw manning you, I simply don't believe you when you say your name is Dave, because I'm certain that it is Max based on all of the available evidence."
That is essentially the discussion that is being had here. If I outright refute your original premise because I think you are lying, I'm not constructing a straw man argument with which to refute your statements.
"So I'm assuming you wanted to hit edit so that you could say, "Thank you for your warning"" to yourself."
To you, here I am saying that I wanted to edit and post "thank you for your warning". In my original post.
In reality, I am saying that I wanted to add on to my post.
strawman - a weak or sham argument set up to be easily refuted
To me, it looks like you took my argument and chopped it down to say that I only wanted to add "thank you for your warning", while in reality my argument was that I wanted to add a little substance to my post.
I'm not attempting to chop down or distort your argument.
I'm not creating a sham argument to defeat easily.
I am outright accusing you of lying.
Here, let me explain this succinctly as well:
I post. I post another post underneath it to add on.
You say, "You're a sockpuppet. Clearly you are trying to give yourself a pat on the back."
I say, "No, I have never done something like this. It was an edit."
You say, "But, look at the post that you replied to yourself! It's so short and undeserving of an edit. Therefore, the evidence points to you being a sockpuppet."
I say, "Look at the post above. Clearly I meant to add more. It could be an edit. Do you know that at other message boards that replying to your own post is an acceptable way to edit because at boards like SBnation the editing time is limited? You set up a straw man: clearly I am saying that it was deserving of an edit because it was worth it, while you argue I say that I wanted to edit something so undeserving."
You say, "You don't understand what a straw man is." (Thank god, another ad hominem attack)
If you seriously believe I'm a sock puppet, just ask Brian or something. Email him. Ask him if this account is the only one from this IP address, I think he can see these things. Or maybe I can do it. Whatever. Your choice.
I think you are lying.
I am not swayed by your arguments.
Because I flat out believe your original premise is a lie, I'm not presenting a straw man argument in dismissing your subsequent justifications for what I think is a lie.
What do you not get about that?
You say, "You don't understand what a straw man is." (Thank god, another ad hominem attack)
That about sums up our "disucssion."
Edit: If it turned out that you are not a sock puppet then I would apologize and call myself a huge asshole, but I don't believe that to be true, so until then I'm in my camp and you are in yours.
Let's not argue on semantics.
You are arguing against me by misrepresenting evidence. That's not a straw man, you're right. I got caught up in defending my "honor" on this board. I panicked and used the name of a fallacy I knew the best. Sorry about that.
What you did wasn't a straw man. However, you did misrepresent evidence: you mentioned that I replied to myself to give myself a pat on the back on the false notion that my post was just "thanks for the warning". It was not that; it had more.
Alright, that's over with. Happy? Sorry for being ineducated.
Let both of us email Brian.
Hey, way to take what was an inherently ridiculous statement, made in jest, and tear it apart so completely.
You're a real Clarrence Darrow.
A credit to our species.
Thanks for comparing me to Darrow. However, I fear that you did not understand the purpose of my post and its brilliance.
That's okay. The other readers will be able to understand.
If by other readers, you mean your alts, then yeah, I'm sure those "other" readers will recognize your "brilliance."
Let me break down my post for you:
1) It was in response to your post that says that the fanbase is uneducated and would not be able to call plays better than Borges in the Iowa second half
2) I sarcastically agree with you by saying that I agree with you but with ridiculous reasons. Basically I am saying that "hey, the fanbase is a little smarter than you think, and I'm tired of your arrogant comments against the section of the fanbase that is a little tired of Borges".
Get it? It's not that difficult.
I get that you attempted to agree with yourself via an alt, failed miserably, and now are trying to justify your fuck up with a string of ex post facto arguments.
WTF????? Seriously, are you trolling me? Because if you are, great job because it succeeded. You seriously believe that what I posted above is less likely than "attempted to agree with yourself via an alt, failed miserably"? My lord, either you are a clever troll or an idiot.
My god. Read my posts again. You can't see the meaning there?
Let me break down what you're saying:
Me trying to agree with myself with a sockpuppet while forgetting to log off (more likely to you)
Me saying that you are mistaken in your assessment of the intelligence of the fanbase (less likely to you)
Do you see just how ridiculous you are?
Yeah, I read what you wrote and the second post which you're claiming was your failed attempt as an edit, makes absolutely no sense as an edit. I mean, I wasn't "warning" anyone of anything, so it doesn't fit in at all what-so-ever as an edit.
Who thanks themselves at the end of their post?
Thank you for calling out this posters' ridiculousness, TheLastHoke.
The "thanks" was to you, sarcastically. The earlier part of that same post was meant to add on to the post that replied to it. READDDDDDDDDDD goddamn it.
If you've ever been on a message board that doesn't allow unlimited edit time, then you would know that that is an accepted way to add on to a post.
Seriously, get your head out of your ass.
He trolls anybody who doesn't have their head stuck up Borges' ass. Some of his more recent arguments are that Borges isn't that bad because he doesn't kill puppies, the fans would do worse, and something about LOTR quotes. Dude is losing it.
I don't think you know what trolling is, because if anyone's doing it, by evidence of your posting history, it's you.
Have you ever been a part of any sort of cogent discussion or back and forth on this board? No.
All of your posts are either accusing someone of trolling while trolling yourself, or insulting another user by calling them "a fucking idiot," or some other such nonsense.
And you spent the better part of this season posting stupid gif's to "refute" those whose views did not agree with yours. Clearly, you are the troll.
I have never seen you engage in a "cogent" discussion with another poster other than to participate in a circlejerk over how the board has "gone to shit" or something with the proliferation of those who dislike Borges.
Yeah, because responding with an eye roll gif to posters who say shit like this (actual posts taken from the latest open threads):
Courntey Avery He is a garbage as bitch go back to warming the bench u piece of shit
We have A sloppy piece of shit oc and fat sloppy head coach that won't tell al what to do. Grow a sack Brady u fucking dumbfuck
This football Sucks dick. We are the laughing stock of the whole country. We average 200 yards a game we fucking suck go hire cam Cameron or someone that knows how to coach offense
New Thread. Same shitty product.
Fuck him and this staff. Nice 2nd half adjustments.
Fuck Borges It is going to be a slaughter next Saturday....And, half the stadium will be Buckeyes. I hope they choke on their 15 dollar hot dogs and 9 dollar cokes..
Just said the same thing. I hope a guy like Peppers wont waste 3-4 yrs of his life in that shit storm
I'm to the point where if I saw borges on the street I would punch him in the face
FUCK SHIT STUPID FIRE
Go Hawkeyes. Anything to get rid of the steaming pile of shit we call Borges.
LOL At this whole fucking team. They suck.
Holy fuck Wile
Borges you are a fucking moron.
Borges is still a fucking idiot.
Fuck Al Borges.
AVERY!!!! WTF?! I can play the ball better than that!
Poorly defended by Avery. Can we release him?
Avery is Ass
....makes me the troll.
Why do you blame them for being a little incoherent? Their points are clear: Borges is not competent and needs to be replaced. You're a lot like those people that ridicule those who aren't articulate. It's not their fault; either they did not have the education or they have enough of a life not to try on a message board (like us).
You can see their arguments. How about, instead of putting up stupids gifs that slow down my browser, you ignore them or give them good discussion? Attacking someone for being inarticulate is one of the most cruel things that someone can do in my opinion.
Holy shit you are a troll.
There is no "winning" to be had here.
Also, that's rich coming from someone who is noted for clogging up open threads with an endless stream of complaints.
Maybe someone else can make that argument with respect to me, but it certainly isn't you.
Run the triple option and use cut blocking in the 1st half (we zone or drive block, so might as well cut block).
Then go run n shoot spread in the 2nd half and throw every down.
Never punt. Onside kick only. No field goals. Boom or bust.
It's a strategy of craziness rather than our current craziness without strategy.
*Have the offensive linemen widen their spits-past finger tip-to-finger tip. This will stretch the defenders out in the box, and "yes", you are giving up space for blitzers, but it makes it harder for the defense to stunt, and easier for your linemen to pick up.
*Line up in alot of spread, trips, and 5 wide. Tell Devin you are going to dip and dunk with the passing and running game. Your goal is to pick up 3-4 yards a play. Enough to move the sticks every 4 downs and keep the ball out of the OSU offense's hands. If a big play happens, great. But getting into 3rd and manageable, every series, is the primary goal.
*Emphasize a passing game that looks for the quick slants, digs, bubble screens, slip screen, underneath drag route, etc. Devin should get rid of the ball ASAP, and no more than 3-step drops. The quicker the ball gets out of Devin's hands, the less likely any OSU blitz or stunt will screw things up.
*Running game should feature true jet sweeps, inverted veers without all the "manball" blocking (just zone blocking), options, HB dives, and QB powers. Again, by widening your splits you are going to create some natural running lanes, and OSU can't defend them all. So you, in theory, should be able to pick up 3-4 yards a pop more often than not.
*Emphasize to your skill guys, then when they have the ball, get up the field as fast as you can and pick up what you can. OSU is too athletic and too fast, trying to "juke" a defender will do you no good and you may end up losing yardage.
*Most importantly, preach the significance of this rivalry. It is one of the BEST, if not THE best football rivalry in all of football. By playing your best game of the season, you can knock the Buckeyes out of a chance for the national championship. Who needs more motivation than that?
only in our dreams.
Good post Rich.
Great job against Oregon yesterday. Give Rita and the kids our best.
Stay at home.....watch a little TV perhaps because that Auburn/Bama should be fun.
Ask Shane if he wants to start. When he says, "no way", ask for other "volunteers".
Well, even though none of these teams beat Ohio State obviously, I suppose the first step is to watch film on the teams which were most successful against Ohio State.
If we go by the conference schedule, those teams would perhaps be Iowa, Illinois and Wisconsin and Northwestern as all three of these teams put up 24 or more points on the Buckeyes. Focus on their scoring drives and see what we can do that might be comparable within the skillset of the personnel that we have.
To me, this is the essential first step - benchmark our tendencies against what other teams have done to be reasonably successful (if not ultimately so) against OSU. We have a defense good enough to slow them down some, so now we need to figure out how to creep up on them - a frontal assault doesn't seem like it would work (i.e, I-Formation, inside run).
Is what Meyer will look at and pivot on yardage, field position, and situation.
I will make the offensive line focus on only one thing this week. Pass protection. I would make the RB understand only how to pass protect and catch passes out of the backfield. I would focus on making Gardner work through reads 1 to 3. I would line up jeremy jackson at the first read if I had to force Gardner to look at anyone outside of Gallon and Funchess. I would make Toussaint play slot with Dileo. I would use Dileo if I could. I wouldnt practice a run at practice this week.
I would cut out any sort of power play unless in short yardage. Even then, Devin would be in the pistol. I would make sure Devin Gardner never loses sight of the field via play action unless I have passed 3 times successfully before. I would not let funchess line up as a blocker on anyone that is 10 pounds lighter than he is and 3 inches shorter. I will allow gardner to do his crazy spin thing in the backfield.
Therefore, minimizing negative yardage plays and embarassing himself further. Sorry, I just don't think Al is creative enough to help us this week. What he should do is throw deep often and hope for some nice catches and interference calls.
Run Green up the gut when the defense has 9 in the box for a zero gain. I love that play.
Short, quick passes. Run some hurry up. And don't run the option with the fullback as the pitch man!!!
Almost made me shart yesterday. Almost.
Yes, that was Al Borges trickery at its finest!!! Joey Kerridge as the pitch man. I never saw that coming!
Yeah, I didn't understand that play. I think if it was Toussaint as the option man, the play would have been successful because the corner would have been turned.
knowing that it could not possibly be any worse or more predictable than playcalling has been all season, I'd use twitter to allow fans to call the plays.
#RunLeft #RunMiddle #RunRight
Resign..get the hell out of dodge
should involve me texting in the play calls.
EDIT -- I charge nothing for this service.
Outsouce my job to someone more competent
don't forget about the ultra effective 10-seconds-to-develop play action pass into double coverage. Gotta do that one at least five times. Oh yeah, and the RB screen where blocking is optional. That's good for at least three tries. Or the QB Special where we just let Devin do whatever feels clever and let him get sacked for a 9 yard loss. But we gotta save that one for the fourth quarter.
EDIT -- and all plays must be snapped with less than 4 seconds to go on the play clock. This is important! Go as slow as humanly possible. With any luck the crowd may fall asleep and voila we automatically look better as an offense.
- Self-scout and break every single tendency I have; e.g., line up in Ace (2 TE, 2 WR) and actually run the ball.
- Put in a personnel group that can run any formation. This means obviously Funchess playing both WR and TE, but I would do this with Jake Butt also. Butt would also line up at FB when necessary.
- Stay in the huddle until about 8 seconds are on the play clock, then break and sprint to the line and snap the ball first sound. A) This makes it hard for them to line up. B) This slows the game down.
Give the defense as much rest as possible - each offensive snap with 1 second on the play clock.
ManBall? I mean... Michigan get godsakes ?
It is incredibly obvious that we have zero % chance of sustaining a drive. Just go shotgun four flys every single play and have Gardner chuck it to the least covered dude before he gets drilled. Maybe you hit on two or three out of fifty and score 17. Hope the defense plays well and maybe we only lose by 31.
offensive wrinkle in the first half, like a stretch counter, that nets us enough positive yards to make the fans believe there is a game plan. After Ohio adjusts to it in the 2nd or 3rd quarter keep running it for -2 yards over and over the rest of the game.
As Al Borges, I would send out 12 men every down, where one is dressed in an OSU jersey (conveniently, this player is lined up on the opponents' sideline, with up to 20 teammates). Then use whatever gameplan that has been repped in practice (I know this already, given my existing gameplans from previous weeks). OSU will now either get called for too many men on the field or will be forced to defend with 10 men, assisting tremendously in our success.
If the opponents get aggressive and try to forcefully keep my disguised players off the field, I will instruct the player to resist and fight back. OSU receives a 15-yard penalty and (possibly) has the instigating player ejected.
If the above doesn't work, I will send out 13 men, where two are dressed in OSU jerseys. I will continue adding additional players until the offense is successful.
Now THAT's what I'm talking about. Crazy and inventive.
On the old Hollywood Squares gameshow, which is just tic-tac-toe, whenever a contestant would do something bat-shit crazy, the MC would not call them out in public. Instead he would gently say "Interesting strategy. This could work out."
Interesting strategy, MGoNukeE. This could work out.
Throw everything including the kitchen sink at em. I wouldn't run the ball until the 2nd half. Have a trick play ready for every other down. Do an onside kick on every chance during the first and third quarters. Execute option plays on every other odd possession and under center plays on the even possessions except for 4 and shorts, in which I'd run a double pitch option similar to what Nebraska did to us in 2011.
In the second half, only play hurry up offense. Get the play off within 20 seconds with only quick throws, screens, and jet sweeps as the play calls. Also, go for two on every touchdown in the second half.
That would be my game strategy if I were Al Borges this week.
these coaches can't get these players to run and block effectively on basic plays given hundreds of practice reps over the season. yet, trick plays are to be excuted in just a week of practice. face it, al borges has no chance of calling a game that we can win unless the defense scores for us. al, funk and jackson obviously can't coach fundamentals. that said, the D was just one add'l score away from winning the game in iowa city.
Call in sick.
that Mattison's defense and the special teams can score 20-30 points.
You spend the whole game in shotgun 5 wide and pray that Devin morphs into Aaron Rodgers.
Line up facing the wrong direction. Fumble on purpose. Hope ohio picks it up and runs the wrong direction. When their player drops the ball after he thinks he scored a touchdown, sneak in and pick it up for 6!
What's so hard about this?
Is the A-11 legal in college?
1. Wildcat. I do like that idea with a direct snap to Green. Get an extra TE out there, make it a run-read play and let Green do a read on where the line has gone soft or blown open. It might be a LB waiting right there but that guy's at least on the other side of the LOS. No DE are going to be able to scrape back due to the width of the formation, and thus all blocks can be straight ahead. Green's going inside. Use Norfleet or Chesson and run the same play except outside with speed.
2. Taylor Lewan as Fullback. Yep, you read it right here, I want a 300 lb masher with blood streaming from his forehead to get a 5 yd running start and go flying horizontal on the opposing defender at times. I dare Shazier to get in the way. He might be slow but something's going to open. Green just has to stay off his heels and not roll over his ankles.
3. Taylor Lewan as pulling guard. Again its OK if he's slow, I just want my most massive and strongest player taking 2 shuffles to his right and then blow out the player in front. Kerridge can then follow, and Green after that.
4. Butt. We have to use him more on short passes. Not sure of the routes but this is Funchess 2.0 where he showed promise early and then disappeared in the second half of the year. Funchess' best ability is the crackback block, so let him go downfield and then maul someone unsuspecting from the backside.
5. Chesson. We must target him deep to open up corner coverage. Granted there might not be time to watch him go open and then fire. Make it a timing play when you see man coverage or the safety cheating run, so there's not any deep help, throw to a "corner" of a multiple of a 10 yard line and the sideline just like the back corner of the endzone throw. Loft it up and let Chesson run under it.
6. Wile throw on a punt situation. Identical to Rudock's play on the 1st down throw that sealed the game. Tuck it under, let defenders come at you. Stop, set, throw over the defenders to Dileo or someone waiting about 5-7-10 yards downfield. Key detail: Ya first gotta get him the miniature QB shoulder pads that let a guy actually throw the ball.
(realizing this is offense but I'm on a roll here...GMatt probably has it figured out)
7. Defense is going to be tighter coverage and blitzes from all over. LB flowing downhill at the snap to take away Hyde when its obvious run. On the blitz CB must jam the WR like mad at the LOS to keep them from going deep/open in man coverage. In obvious pass situations, I'd use a combination of delayed LB blitz plus overload outside the DE with faster players. The idea being to put pressure on Miller when he's going to pass, keep speedy guys to hawk him when he pulls it down to run.
8. Once the blitzes start working, then throw in a mix of some soft coverage schemes just to keep them guessing.
Anyone want to nominate Dump the Dope for 2014 OC? 8-D I think its a pay raise and I'll take the job if Hoke calls me. I only live 15 minutes from the stadium.
Ask Gerg to borrow Dr. Vorax the stuffed beaver. That little guy has seemed to work wonders at Texas.
What the hell does Big Al have to lose? He's either fired after this season, or taking Brady down with him if Brady refuses to can his butt.
What freaking pressure does the guy have now anyway?
Everyone expects a 150 yds showing for the game.
All iso's, all the time. It'll catch them off guard.
I began watching the Michigan game after the score was 21-21; My 1st thought was "Hey, Michigan's offense scored some touchdowns!!! WooHooo!!! Then, my father explained that 1 TD was scored by Beyer, & the another TD was a direct result of an interception (Countess?). So I was quickly broght back down to earth, to the reality of Michigan's offense, to the fact that Michigan scored 6 points versus the Iowa defense.... All I know is that after the M game I watched most of 2 other games, Oklahoma State vs Baylor, & Arizona State vs UCLA.... and during those games I had 2 impressions: 1) All 4 of those teams would soundly defeat Michigan. And, 2) All 4 of those offensive coaches do a better job than Michigans offensive coaches.
4 or 5 wide all day with one to three of the WRs running flys. This would be the set on 95% of all play calls.
The other 5% can be whatever Borges wants as long as it is not (a) stretch, (b) fullback option, (c) any running play into an 8+ man box.
Single coverage on Funchess is our great hope. Arm punt it and hope for a catch or a PI.
Start packing up my office.
Just a thought....
I think our only hope is that we have practiced several " trick plays" all year just for OSU. Be it by a player that hasn't played much or special teams. Also scrap a running game the whole first half. Have Devin in shotgun with two fullbacks. Either way Borges needs to do at least two touchdowns on the board for us to keep it close.
"Borges resigned from Auburn December 10, 2007, after a steady decline in the team's offensive production, before the team's appearance in the New Year's Eve Chick-Fil-A Bowl."
The strategy of keeping the ball out of the hands of the OSU offense depends on Michigan getting first downs ... which they're awful at ... so that strategy won't work.
Borges's best hope is for a shoot-out. Gardner is more comfortable in that kind of game anyway. So go wide-open and live or die on that. Any other approach fails.
(Predictor: if we see Gardner under center even once, game over. I'm totally serious.)
Go down swinging.
PS -- Am I the only one on this site who sees every click result in "Connection Timeout" ... every action requiring 30+ seconds of waiting and retries? It's almost unusable lately.
Yeah, at least I'd rather lose an Indiana-type game or Notre Dame-type game than an Iowa-type game or a Nebraska-type game. At least it's more entertaining for the fans that show up.
And we actually won the Indiana and Notre Dame-type games, so who knows?
I like that better. Changed it.
I’d embrace Kafka’s existential attitude and embody the true sense of disorientation and confusion in the face of an apparently absurd game. I’d play all the defensive players in offensive positions. Make Wile our QB and suit up the cheerleaders. How could it be any worse? Finally, I'd go for it on 4th and 20 and then turn around and punt on 1st down. Put Defense back in and let them all play 60 minutes. Ryan at fullback...then parapent from the pressbox onto Stadium Blvd into a waiting car. It would be a great story...
Al Borges thought bubbles from Monday strategy session.
"We're going to need to try something different on the first series:
- 1 &10... Pistol delay handoff to Fitz for -1yds
- 2 & 11...I-Form speed option with Kerridge to the short side of the field for -3yds
- 3 & 14...I-Form play action pass with Fitz picking up the blitz DG sacked for -6yds
- 4 & 20...Punt
Then for the rest of the first half, I'm just going to call the same plays, but I'll get sneaky and change the order we run them in. Oh and in between series, I'll go get some brain food from the snack bar... mmm nachos.
At half-time, I'll put Lewan at RT and move Schofield to RG. Then I'll move Glasgow to TE so I can have Kalis play C. Magnusen will play LG and we'll have Butt play LT. Then they'll think we're running right, but we'll actually run to left. They will be so confused - it will be genius!"
- NASCAR offense randomly in the first half
- Minimum of 4 receivers in every formation, attack their 2nd level (their linebakers are the weakest on defense)
- NO I-FORM EVER*
And by ever I mean if we have a decent running game (hahaha) then maybe do a PA pass in a short yardage situation, but that's IT.
Then interim OC Coach Hecklinski should run a controlled no huddle offense to give DG more time to read the defense.
I try my best. Let my kids know I love them and prepare for a new outlook on my future in the sport.
He will run nr 28 25 times figuring the suckeyes would never believe he was that stubborn and stupid to try it.
Some illegal paraphernalia on Ohio's buses. Then we have the police stop them before we they enter the Stadium. The whole team is detained and they have to forfeit. Booya 2 wins in 3 yeas
Some illegal paraphernalia on Ohio's buses. Then we have the police stop them before they enter the Stadium. The whole team is detained and they have to forfeit. Booya 2 wins in 3 years
If I'm al I would just continue to call the same shit plays I have all season for two reasons:.
1: My boss absolutely loves them
2. Anyone who dares to be to be critical of my genius is mocked and attacked for not not being supportive enough of the team
This is awesome....I can be completely incompetent and anyone who challenges it is ridiculed for not being a true "fan". Cause REAL Michigan fans accept complete and utter failure quietly and with no complaints. Anything else marks you a fair weather fan.
Have lesser used players run onto the field and literally throw kitchen sinks at ohio players and hope for injuries. (I kid)
Go three wide / four wide. Throw the ball at least 40+ times - short and med, with just a few long. Tell Devin it's preferred to throw the ball away on 1st or 2nd down, instead of trying to do one of his duck-and-scramble (which doesn't work much, b/c he often "ducks" into the 2nd or 3rd defender who beat his man). Run draw plays on occasion. Never have two backs in at once, as the I-form is junk.
I don't expect this to happen, as it should have already (see Nebraska). But OSU has an excellent offense with a so-so defense, and will likely score 24 or more points no matter what we do (e.g., if we try ball control), so our only chance is to outscore them in a shootout.
Instead of faking the Bubble Screen . . . actually throw the Bubble Screen!
I kid, we would never do that.
Not just a lame A gap blitz or even a wimpy double A gap blitz but an INYOURFACEMOTHERFUCKING TRIPLE A gap blitz!!!
on offense, EVERY offensive player blitzs their D through the A gap.
forget 7,8, or 9 in the box, 11 IN THE FUCKING GAP !
Narduzzi for OC.
and call every single play against Ohio as I deem fit for my offense and for my quarterback(s), as always.
I have 27 years of offensive coordinator experience. Do you honestly think I read the papers or blogs or whatever? If I'm fired, then so be it.
Because getting fired from Michigan football seems to be a proverbial springboard for comeback success elsewhere anyway. See Rodriguez and Arizona's demolition of Oregon. Or Gerg Robinson. Or Scott Shafer.
The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, they'll be sun.
And avoid it. There is no challenge in taking what the defense gives you. Real men run at 9 men in the box. I would show Ohio I am not afraid of them by attacking their strength with my weakness until it works!
Seriously, though I would spread Ohio out and go with short quick passes/screens, with an occasional draw mixed in. Target Gallon and Funchess as often as possible, to maximize their touches.
Though, I know Al won't do that exclusively, so I guess bang your head against the wall trying to run some power type plays hoping fruitlessly that the wall somehow breaks
Well.... we've scored 3 offensive TD's in the last 4 conference games(!!!!!!!!!!). I'd say we make sure the kicker is loose.
well, if I am Al borges then I will continue to do the same dumb shit that got us here...
now, if i magically became OC this weekend. I would choose ten plays, all out of the same formation, run no huddle and call the plays at the line. Then in the second half I would use 10 other plays.
Seriously, 20 plays all out of the same formation. Each ten could get you through a half... I would want to score at least 17 points a half...
I would throw deep jumpballs to funchess at least once each series..