Would you pass up a Rose Bowl game to avoid a vasectomy?
Alright gentlemen, my wife has been after me to get a vasectomy. I couldn't be more opposed to the idea. During a conversation with some friends this afternoon I reiterated my stance against a vasectomy. I said that I would pass up an opportunity to watch UM play in the Rose Bowl in order to avoid getting a vasectomy. Am I going too far?
EDIT: How many of you have had one?
Must take one for the team.
to be simple: yes.
all of my reasons i was about to list were derived from the Home Improvement episode on this item. i don't know if that's awesome or really sad.
oh hamburgers.
Yes, no more kids + Rose Bowl = win.
It hurts for a week or so, and then no more accidental bundles of joy and diapers.
Says the poster whose avatar has a bloody knife.
that movie is SO gonna win the oscir. or hurt lockir is. i dunno.
edit: come on man... editing the easy joke. ugh. fwiw, prev post said avitar.
I had to do it. And I couldn't think of a better word to use to refer to the small picture under ones name. Any suggestions?
edit: FWIW I didn't see your post before changing it. sorry.
i was just giving you a hard time, not a legit complaint
I had mine on December 22, 2002. My wife forever refers to that Christmas as my "bow-legged" Christmas. Real funny, that wife of mine.
One warning: it's slightly disconcerting to see the whisps of smoke waft up from your groin as the doc cauterizes your vas deferens. You might want to close your eyes. And plug your nose.
*Cringe*
Just thinking about that makes my "taint" hurt.
And probably the most cringe-inducing moment of my life.
isn't that a city in Denmark?
Lead to more sex, no.
Vasectomes are gifts from the Gods. It's a free for all once it's done.
No pain, no gain.
Funny story: I had mine done about four years ago, and there was a third year med student observing. About midway through I hear my doctor say, "And there he goes"--the kid flops on the floor and is spazzing out. I'm high, so I start giggling. But it gets pretty serious, and before I know it, there's about four other people in the room trying to revive this kid. He REALLY lost it--and probably his chance at furthering his medical career. It was a total Robin Williams moment from "Nine Months."
So they get the kid up, and finish sewing up my sack, and on the way out I'm still giggly-googly from the drugs and I stop by the Doc's office and the kid is sitting there--and I kick in with the "Well, I guess you can still be a dentist or something AHAHAHAHAHAH"
On the way out my wife says to me, "You are a complete asshole."
your wife is right.
But once you get past 40--people calling you an asshole is just more fuel for the fire.
The years 40-60 are fantastic. You can bithc about anything, talk to hot chicks at the bar because you don't care about rejection anymore, and you can fart out loud, anywhere in public (because you just don't care), without shitting your pants.
What about farting out loud while you are bitching at a hot chick at the bar?
This is probably my favorite post of all time
But we still love you.
I would LOVE for you to see the Rose Bowl on January 1, 2011. Don't jinx this, man!!!!
Why so opposed to the vasectomy? If the wife doesn't want to have any more kids things will probably be a lot more pleasant around the house if she isn't worried about you trying to sneak one past the goalie all the time. Just be sure to squeeze out a few gallons of little marc_from_novi popsicles in case of emergency/change of heart/future Brazilian supermodel second wife who demands a child to prove you are a man. You get to spend a few weeks watching all the porn the internet has to offer and you make the Mrs. happy. Sounds like a win-win to me.
"What is the big deal?"
Apparently you're unfamiliar with the term vasectomy, where among other things, they stick needles in your balls.
Let's see...
a relatively minor surgery with 3-4 days of discomfort and condom-free sex for the rest of your life without having to listen to your wife complain about the side effects of the pill AND a UM Rose Bowl
Done.
And by the way... I am a Vascected Veteran --- I haven't worn a condom since college and I wasn't going to start at the age of 34. We had two kids and my wife said "i'm not getting back on the pill... and I'm not having another kid." Well, I wasn't going to stop molesting my wife. Snip-snip.
Well played. And well stated.
the pill does often help with the breasteses.
Don't be a wimp...Get it over with and you will be glad you did!
Just make sure the anesthesia takes effect before they start cutting - that was not pleasant for me. After that it was not a big deal.
By the way, the doctor that performed my Big V actually did his own!!!! Unbelievable...
asked me! Hell, naw. She even pulled out the old "it will save us 60bucks a month in b.c"..
Then all I had to do was remind her that the b.c. keeps her from cramping and pmsing and on that reliable 28 day cycle. Conversation ended.....for now. And i'm still going bareback, Hell hayyyyyy.
Just pull out early. Works 60% of the time, every time.
(And now you all know my marital status. Just be gentle with the neg-bombing. k thnx)
are rarely spoken while quoting anchorman. +1 to you good sir.
and is relatively painless. The best part is that after the recovery the doctor says you need to be extremely active for a week before the call back to make sure all your swimmers are cleared. It's a great week!
When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! And I bought this condo to fill with children!
I'm still too young to even consider getting one, but I know some relatives of mine who have gotten it done.
Honestly I understand where you are coming from and I agree I will be very reluctant to do it when that question comes up. However, to quote Geaux who wanted to quote Home Improvement, there are some added benefits.
And it's not like they completely neuter you and remove the boys, they just make an incision and tie the tubes up.
Honestly, as a society we should probably make it mandatory that some people get vasectomies so we quit having a bunch of little shits running around who have no business being on planet Earth. That includes the dummies who have been allowed to grow up and help run this world.
that is basically practicing eugenics. The Nazis were big fans of this. The U.S. did allow forced sterilization until 1981. Not necessarily the wisest or most legal policy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_sterilization
Actually, from what I've read, America was at the forefront of eugenics and the Nazis just took it to the next level.
Knowing is half the battle!
Edwin Black in War Against the Weak, money from the Ford Foundation (a big supporter of eugenics in the '20's and '30's) to the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute got Joseph Mengele started on the genetic research on twins that he later continued at Auschwitz. Virginia had a miscegenation statute that preceded the Nuremberg laws by eight years, and Alabama had a miscegenation article in the state constitution until it was removed in ca. 2001. Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes was all aboard for forcible sterilization in Buck v. Bell, 1927, when he said "Three generations of imbeciles are enough."
Black maintains that, when US public opinion turned against eugenics (after public exposure of the films from the liberation of Bergen Belsen), the scientists and other backers of eugenics in the US regrouped under the new brand name "human genetics." Does anyone remember the book The Bell Curve ca. 1991?
I hate to sound brutish, but yeah I guess I'm along similar lines. I just think that people aren't educated enough in order to make informed decisions when it comes to baby-making.
Perhaps better sex-education is in order opposed to eugenics, but we need something to control the fact that too many people are having children in terrible settings. Some people aren't ready (nor ever will) to be parents and are having kids.
It's just my opinion and I don't mean to bring politics in so I'm just gonna stop here.
You make vasectomes mandatory for people who shouldn't reproduce, the world would have a population of about 94.
It would also hamper the next generation of MGoBoard posters. Hell, I just put up a thread about the history of Coney Dogs and I'm going to have my first in October--what does that say about me?
For most creative title of a thread.
you'll never have to worry about having kids and you get to go to a ROSE BOWL!! that really makes it worth it
Fewer kids = More money/time to go to football games.
Sounds like win/win to me.
But I reserve the right to impregnate.
Anyone.
Anytime.
Anywhere.
I'm 100% committed to my wife. But I reserve the right to impregnate.
Anyone.
Anytime.
Anywhere.
(Shawn Kemp welcome to MGOBLOG)
It worked for Cromartie. Not well, but it worked. Glad he's a Jet, it isn't going to work out too well for them.
Like others have stated, it's not that bad. I've had it done, and other than not being able to speedily go up and down stairs with out some pain for a week, it's one of the best decisions I've made.
If you don't do it, and Michigan loses a bid for the Rose Bowl by a missed field goal, I can only hope, by poetic justice, that, A) you are at that game; B) your seats are in the end zone, and C) the missed field goal hits you square in the balls.
OK, OK, I really don't want that to happen to you, but I'm pretty superstitious when it comes to UM.
...if his wife got pregnant after the game?
You get Lortabs after. But it's hell to go through. Creepy sort of.
I am still trying to pay off my vasectomy...Damn Doctor charged me by the inch!