Why do we care so much?

We have a mediocre offense and an above average defense. No one can dispute that. Have fun. Try to live through the weekend.

We have a mediocre offense and an above average defense. No one can dispute that. Have fun. Try to live through the weekend.

And you deserved to be negged

I agree with you. We have a great future and this is a big bump, but we'll be fine. I too am saying I'm gonna step back, it is just a game and I'm just a fan.

Let's get some perspective.  We are 5-2 and will be favored to go 10-2.  We lost to MSU on a fluke play, but had them beat despite being outgained 386-230 annd having only 10 first downs to their 20.  We will be fine and go to a great bowl game.

and its nice to see that so many apparently do, even the contributor who has graced us with a "Fuck Fuck" post on each of the last eight threads or so. I'll probably never stop caring - I'm a hardwired Schembechler-era alum who is thrilled to see Harbaugh back in Ann Arbor. I've got a few more years left to be a fan of the team. However, remember that any upset we associate with a Michigan defeat is a first world problem, and I would hope a lesser one at that. Drive on with your lives. Let those who really care - the coaches and players - deal with the loss and go forward. They'll make us proud in the end. M Go Blue!

Blake O'neill is getting death threats. Let's be Michigan Men and Women and give this kid all the support he needs and deserves. We're not in a position to win that game without him.

I think it's pretty natural to wrap yourself up in what you care about. I think that many of us struggle with tying our self-worth to success/failure in our professions, our families, and our teams. It's a natural state of the human condition and is probably why we call ouselves "fans" (short for "fanatics") in the first place. Sounds like you did what you had to do to get over it... just like every one else.

I don't know how old you are, but I see a whole lot of people taking it a whole lot worse... think the 'Bama fan who poisoned oak trees on Toomer's corner at Auburn or the older female Alabama fan who attacked an OU student at a game. There is something fundamentally wrong with attacking other people or killing things as a result of your fandom. Otherwise, meh... it's all good.

This one sucked. Harbaugh out-coached the other fella, and the team avoided mistakes. The game appeared to be won and then the heartbreak. It's a game played by young fellas who are doing their best. They're not trying to fuck up, but sometimes it just happens. That's why the game is so great. Everybody is trying to win.

It's good you're asking those questions. Are you in it just for the potential winning (e.g., if UM football is a winner, than I am a winner)? Because you went to school at UM and/or attended games growing up, so it makes you feel young? For the camaraderie and atmosphere? So you don't have to focus on some other aspect of your life? Because you enjoy watching the game itself (e.g., to see great plays or interesting football)? Something else?

For me, it's a bit of everything. But in the last 5-10 years, not coincidentally since I've had kids, I've forced myself to get over much of it, except for the camaraderie and the enjoyment of the game play itself. There are literally more important things. I''ll never be completely successful, but I'm making progress.

I suggest you do it in stages. For example, ignore recruiting, for the most part (e.g., pay attention to no more than 3 players, and then signing day -- ignore the rest. Sorry Ace).

Generally speaking, I like it when U of M is good  in football or basketball, b/c that gives me more opportunties to hang out with my friends (e.g., viewing parties for the Final Four), which is harder to find time to do as you get older.

But if you're a fan, it will always hurt, esp (literally) unbelievable losses like this. But if it ruins your week (or more), then you need to really evaluate your approach to fandom: is it making your life better, or worse -- in all aspects? Do some thinking, and figure out what works, for you.

Losses like this force you to stare into the abyss of your own fandom. It always seems to make you rethink just why you allow yourself to be emotionally tied to something you have no control over. Is continuing on like this something I can do? Is this where I finally take a step back? This loss sucked everything out of me. I've just been sitting here since the game ended with no feeling left. I am numb. I can't help but wonder just how many more times this feeling will hit me after watching my favorite team lose a football game. Then ask how many more I can handle before it's too much. At this moment I don't know if winning out in the regular season will diminish this feeling. In part because of who it came at the hands of. That we feel this way because of an instate rival. That them being instate means we have many friends and family members that are among their fanbase. We will not live this moment down. Even if our team is able to turn the series around next season and hold onto firmly for the next decade; we will not live this moment down. This is who we are right now. Will it change? Probably. Maybe even definitively yes. We went from the highest of highs to the absolute bedrock of lows within one short moment. I want to turn this post around and end it in some fiery way that is upbeat and confident of the future. I know there's reason to believe in it too. I just can't. I'm still too numb. ...go blue.

I feel really overwhelmed watching Michigan games (and not just football), especially in person. I seriously think I'll have a heart attack in the stands one day. I don't know how the coaches and players deal with it. Oddly, I get over losses quickly. 

We care because we're alive, depressed, euphoric, human. This one will stay with us forever. But so will our victories, of which there will be many. Go Blue.

Football In 2009. 

Lol.

When you're as invested in this as much as we are, a loss like this will do some things to you. Probably time for me to step back. Being a Michigan fanatic over the past 7 years has brought more pain than good.

We know the player and coaching personnel to each individual. Recruiting, tradition, schematics rivalries etc. I personally need to just watch the game on game days and let all of the other stuff take care of itself. It just isn't worth it, watching something I'm so invested in being mocked and dominated annually by it's rivals over the past decade along with the rest of the Big Ten isn't fun. 

We have no fucking lives. That is why. People are starving, dying from disease, war, or oppression around the world and we care about kids playing a fucking game.

I think you're absolutely right, I know after tonight I am taking a couple weeks off of sports(except to take my son to a Predators game and just sit and enjoy something I am not emotionally invested in).  

It's time to.burn down the DVR, finally listen to my hardcore history podcasts and get super-pproductive at work.  This past week I watched the Dodgers blow it in game five, UCLA look completely helpless against Stanford and then.........this.  It's not fun right now and it'd supposed to be fun, time for some absence making the heart grow fonder.

I love Michigan Football. But this loss makes me realize something. My love has grown into a form of idolatry. It's just a game performed by a group of men doing what they love and in some cases get paid very well to do. I can't let it dictate my mood and life.

I would honestly rather have lost by 50. I will continue to support Michigan sports but I will no longer let it suck the life out of me. Why? Because in the end I have zero control.

Losses hurt because of the time and emotion you've invested in the team. The euphoria is amazing when we pull out a great win for the same reasons. But perspective is what matters. Sure, this one was gut punch and I'm still not sure that what I saw was real, but tomorrow the sun will come up and the team will move on. As Harbaugh said in the post game - this loss will put steel in their spine. If you want to feel sorry for someone, feel sorry for Minnesota in two weeks. That poor squad is about two feel some wrath.

I couldn't believe the end of that game.  Then the horror of it hit me.  I felt pain that I can't even describe.  Then I realized how crazy it is to feel such pain over a ball game, especially one played by others.  I used to love all sports but in recent years I have quit caring about all of them but one for various reasons.  All of the sports love I have left is wrapped up in Michigan football.  After today's game, I decided I was done.  I don't watch scary movies or depressing movies anymore because I don't want to be scared or depressed.  I no longer watch the news because I don't want to be depressed by it.  So why do I keep watching these games?  Forget it--I'm done.  No more.  I can fill my time with much more productive things.

But here I was reading mgoblog for the past couple of hours.  My wife said, "You're not really going to stop watching Michigan."  I said, "Why not?  It's stupid to keep going through this."  She said, "Then why are you reading the blog?"  I didn't know.

Except I think I did know.  I don't really want to give it up.  Part of me does.  Part of me thinks Michigan will never be truly great again because other teams will cheat and the cheaters will win.  And why did we have to lose like that to MSU of all teams?  Those dirty dirt bags who cheat and don't go to class and take steroids and have a jerk coach.  But I still don't want to quit.  I just need to find some better perspective somehow.  I don't know how, but it has to be done.  I appreciate this thread.

While most of you make perfect sense and at the end it is JUST a game, but this game dictates who gets the braggin rights for the whole year..well msu fans have been braging for waaay too long. So in the end if you live in the state of michigan you very well know what the consequences are for the whole year. In some way this game does effect people's lives, even more than osu game. If you are a sports fan you have to be prepared for such things..well this was a bit too much but anything is possible in sports. While some of you might say "i am done being so emotional" tomorrow will come around and everything will be fine. Lets move on and see all the positive that came out of this game. There are no moral victories but i be damned this was as close as it gets to one. Think positive, would Hoke or RR era be this close or let alone lead the whole time even though we have a sub par QB? Think about that. Go Blue

But some of the Hoke and RR hangovers seem to come back to haunt us like MSU DLINE bullying our OLINE. Even though the offense did not play very well we had the game in the bag. But for one big mistake on special teams that lost the game. Oh well, our NC hopes may be dashed but we could have a good year, may be great if we can beat OSU?

I can't believe we lost like that. This is probably the most emotionally beat down I've been after a game since 2007.

We feel this way becuase it is deep within our human nature to be tribal.  Michigan is our gang. The ups and downs and the way we express ourselves vicariously through these young men claiming superiority over our rivals and hpoing to let it be proven, keeps us from physically fighting it out with our own destructive voilent tendencies.

Having a similar revelation as you -- being a Michigan fan gave me some great memories, but ruined too many weekends. I broke into a cold sweat for 10 minutes after the game. A dude in the stadium literally had a heart attack watching that game. I am taking a major, major step back from sports after this game. Just not worth going down that path over a bunch of kids who will never even know my name.

A woman you love really helps put things into perspective. I'm actually glad my girlfriend doesn't care about football much but she will tolerate it and she talked me off the ledge. I imagine once we have kids the amount I care will sort of dwindle also. The only problem is I can onky be all in or not really care and last year almost totally ruined me and had me not caring much at all even so far this season...up until this game. I'd been waiting all week for this game until today when I woke up with just a terrible feeling that didn't go away all day. I even sort of expected what happened to happen...but I thought "No that would never happen". This is probably the most distraght I've been since the horror. I should be fine once I see her tomorrow though. It is just a game in the end.

Double post

This was the worst loss we have ever had. Period. Worse than the Desmond trip, worse than the timekeeper game, worse than Colorado, and worse than App State But, would you rather be a Michigan fan right now or after last year's loss to MSU? We hit throttled last em year and there was no hope, this year we had them beaten and a fluke play happened and we have Harbaugh. Go Blue!

It's the kind of batt shit crazy stupid rage you normally only feel on the golf course. So for me, it's pretty normal.

I'll take it out on the refs since I can do there jobs better even know it isn't the topic at hand. Since it's out of my control I just go with the flow I don't let Michigan, Tigers, Lions, Pistons or Redwings get me down when they lose games. Michigan will be fine there making a bowl game I honesty don't think Michigan loses another game until they play OSU.

Many of us have experienced this. Nowadays when someone tells me they're not a big sports fan my stock response is to say "You've no idea how much better your life is for that."

If you think about it, it's really a kind of artificial stress. Just think of all the legitimate sources of stress one can have in life: family problems, $ problems, work problems, marriage problems, etc. With so many real things to worry about, why do I tie myself up in knots over a game that has no ultimate significance?

Yet Michigan football connects me to one of the best times in my life, to people I got to know during that time, and to others that have had similar experiences. I don't want to give it up.

This is how I've tried to solve that tension:

When we win, I enjoy it to the max and give in to the illusion that it actually matters.

When we lose, I remind myself that it doesn't - nothing that matters in my life is in any way affected by the outcome of a game played by people I've never met.

One thing I think has helped has been to be as respectful and gracious toward rival fans as I can be. It makes it a lot less stressful to interact with them after a tough loss.

After pondering this for a while I think this is an unduly emo thread and it's kinda embarrassing. It's funny how you never read "We care too much" after winning big games or championship. "I just realized this makes me way too happy!" is not something you'll read often.

The thread claims to be about a rational realization when in reality it's about fanbase disengagement, it's about jumping ship when things are dire. You guys are basically conceding that losing to Sparty so often has made supporting Michigan passionately a too unpleasant proposition. You're conceding to Sparty.